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death of family member

death of family member

Postby dollarfifty on Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:32 pm

I see that it has been awhile since anyone has posted here, but was wondering if any one here is going thru the loss of a sister or knows someone who is. (her husband also died, 2 yrs before) and I am now raising their 2 kids,) I'd like to be able to share stories about how it is to raise someone elses kids, how the rest of the family is dealing with it , changes made in life styles, the way your own kids are dealing with it, and the sorrows. (and anger) (sorry but I feel i need to be honest) I know people who are raising their grandkids because of deadbeat parents. But this is different. So, here I am asking if there is anyone who is going thru the same thing or even somthing like this.
Thanks
I'm so far behind I think I'm first.
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Re: death of family member

Postby valeriepwp on Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:55 pm

No, but feel free to vent here all you want, that's what we're here for.
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Re: death of family member

Postby williams311 on Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:01 am

Not dealing with the exact same things. But I can relate to the anger!!! Back in Sept o7 in received a call From California, telling me my father passed he was 62. I was left with having to call a half brother of mine that had not seen my father in 15 years or had not seen me in 20 years. The half brother never wanted anything to do with me. When I got to California he acted like it was all good like this would bring us together. I prayed that was the case. I was wrong once he got all he felt he wanted he has not call me back for months now.

I also had another call to make, to a half sister I had never met face to face. I had found her a few years ago and we had a few phone conversations and some emails. It was hard situation. Im still angry with my father for not being here to tell me how to handle the situations with both the half brother ( my feelings are hurt, and there are the abandonment issues. )
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Re: death of family member

Postby momonnet on Tue Mar 11, 2008 7:04 am

WOw you are dealing with a lot. Good for you taking in your sisters kids. I know that has to be a major big change for all. I hope it has been a smooth transaction.
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Re: death of family member

Postby tgmomof4 on Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:13 am

I certainly wish I had some words of wisdom for you, can't imagine what you're going through. So sorry for the loss of your sister, and bless you for raising her children. They are very lucky to have an aunt like you! How are they doing? Have they adjusted to the changes in their life? We are all here for you if you need to vent, or have any questions. I just can't answer things specific to your situation, but feel free to ask anyway! One of us will surely be able to help in some way!
We'll be friends until we're old and senile...... then we'll be new friends!
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Re: death of family member

Postby angelwings on Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:00 pm

dollarfifty wrote:I see that it has been awhile since anyone has posted here, but was wondering if any one here is going thru the loss of a sister or knows someone who is. (her husband also died, 2 yrs before) and I am now raising their 2 kids,) I'd like to be able to share stories about how it is to raise someone elses kids, how the rest of the family is dealing with it , changes made in life styles, the way your own kids are dealing with it, and the sorrows. (and anger) (sorry but I feel i need to be honest) I know people who are raising their grandkids because of deadbeat parents. But this is different. So, here I am asking if there is anyone who is going thru the same thing or even somthing like this.
Thanks


Yes. My only sister died 4 years ago this month. She had breast and lung cancer. By the time she even found out, it was terminal and she had maybe 6 months, at best, to live. She spent the last 3 months of her life in ICU hooked up to every machine in the world and she had a trach. tube in so she couldn't talk. My mom and I, after she went into some coma like state, decided to take her off the machines and let her go peacefully. It was a very difficult time and not one I talk about much or at all for that matter. But, if you want or need to chat, I am all ears.
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Re: death of family member

Postby angelwings on Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:02 pm

I apologize, I hit the submit button before I was done. My sis did not have kids, nor was she married.

But, am still all ears for you.
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Re: death of family member

Postby dollarfifty on Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:38 pm

I thank you all very much. It is nice to be able to have some place I can go.
It's been 2 years now. It was sudden, a car wreck. I knew she had been having in-law problems so I knew we had to get them quickly. Ally was 6 at the time and Matt was 7. It's taken time and some counsling, but all in all, they adjusted pretty quickly. Since my sis lived in the Ozarks area, I didn't see her or the kids a whole lot. But I knew she was in dire straights and we had helped her out before. So our life style was quite different from what they we're used to. They were'nt used to seeing 10 bags of groceries being hauled in. And Christmas was just 3 weeks away. I knew that was going to be rough. Good thing we had a chimney. (of course Santa hadn't used it for a few yrs since my kids are older, 11 and 17) We spoiled the crap out of them that year. And our own, since they had to adjust also.
I'll tell ya tho, I'm kinda tired of the whole Santa, tooth fairy easter bunny charade. I was relieved when my kids learned the truth and now I'm in it all over again. I don't mean to be cynical, but after 19 yrs, (minus 3 or 4) I'm kinda tired of explaining why Santa didn't bring a Wii (or whatever the thing is that yr) Oh, well, just one or two yrs to go.
I have one of them home sick this week. That is something else I'm not used to, my kids rarely missed school. These 2 get sick all the time. Since they we're on medicaid (care?) I didn't know who their Dr's were, either did their grandma. So we just played it by ear. All that is taken care of now. My husband even got them on his insurance plan.
Hey all, thanks, with that I will end (for now) but I do have a question. Matt has THE WORST COUGH and I've even tried the "vicks rub on the bottom of the feet," and even have a prescription cough med. But no go. Any ideas?
I'm so far behind I think I'm first.
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Re: death of family member

Postby kmac312 on Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:56 am

My sister is still alive but she has been having a really rough time (multiple hospitalizations in the last three months) so my mom has been keeping her 3 smallest children for her and husband. I take them to playdates and stuff so my mom get a break for at least a couple of hours - especially because she keeps my daughter too while I'm at work.
I can't imagine how it would be if she was gone.
You are very strong and they are very lucky.
I think that is normal to have some ?resentment? when life doesn't go the way we had planned and having to go back to the younger years is always difficult but you know it won't be to much longer and they'll figure it out. Also I know it sounds trite but if you focus on how much you are benefitting your niece and nephew with this new stable home maybe it will make it easier.
I'll be praying for your family.
Love kyndal
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Re: death of family member

Postby irishhawk on Mon May 19, 2008 11:05 pm

PLEASE , ANYONE OUT THERE - we need as many prayers as we can get. My dear nephew Sean is teeterin on the brink, he is only 20 and it is going to take a miracle, he is fighting leukemia and an awful infection. Need a miracle. Please say a prayer for Sean and his dad, my big brother Chris. thanks much.
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