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My husband the Idiot (rant)

Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby ProxyMom on Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:47 pm

Huh, I'm a software engineer as well. I don't suppose you've heard of the Kiss Principle?

I wasn't tryng to invalid your points without addressing them. I was trying to invalid them by giving another example. It's a very subjective thing. You think the B word is okay. I think the C word is. Maybe the N word, too, why not? I'm a parent, that's my right to help my kids with their languae choices, yes? And, not to be too whiny, but why can't I use hypotheticals but you can? Or did the movie theatre thing actually happen?

I'm sorry if you saw me/my reply as sarcastic. I can assure you, for me it was pretty darned mild. But, you know, I think your wife is a sweetie. Perhaps someone nicer will be willing to play along with you.
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby maggieS on Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:00 pm

Yeah, if you think Proxy's sarcastic, you ought meet this BoxyBomb chick--she's a hoot! ;)
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby hotmomma on Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:05 pm

Attention Husbands

If you don't want to be treated like a child, don't act like one. Women would much rather have an advocate or "partner in crime" than to have another overgrown child. Mothers also don't have sex with their sons, so if you want any, grow up.

I totally cannot see trish giggling and running for the camcorder when 20 month old William starts using explicitives...
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby pmonkeefan on Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:37 pm

DH again.

ProxyMom wrote:Huh, I'm a software engineer as well. I don't suppose you've heard of the Kiss Principle?

Yes, and I subscribe, but this isn't a program and I don't see how it applies. Unfortunately, the situation itself isn't simple, and treating it as such ignores what is probably the root issue. I could easily respond with a canned supportive or unsupportive response to bandwagon or chide, but I didn't offer my honest views on the subject at length in place of an equally effective witty response (see: not effective).

I wasn't tryng to invalid your points without addressing them. I was trying to invalid them by giving another example. It's a very subjective thing. You think the B word is okay. I think the C word is. Maybe the N word, too, why not? I'm a parent, that's my right to help my kids with their languae choices, yes? And, not to be too whiny, but why can't I use hypotheticals but you can? Or did the movie theatre thing actually happen?

You are quite entitled to hypothetical examples and I would prefer those that argue against my points. You're hypothetical example seems to suggest that I'm saying teaching the kid "bitch" is okay, when really I offered no opinion on that (other than that it is actually kinda funny). I was addressing the reasons why the ensuing argument went how it did and how things could have arrived at that point. The actual thing the child or father did were very much not the point, and more over, the fact that it was a relatively small 'infraction' that resulted in such a huge reaction on both sides, shows there is more than meets they eye here and more to consider.

Perhaps someone nicer will be willing to play along with you.

"Play along" :roll:
So either you're calling me a troll or just trivializing my views. I'm not sure which, but I'm certainly ready and willing to debate/concede when engaged on things I actually say. I most certainly did not advocate playing "teach the kid bad stuff to spite the other parent", and in fact, I'm offering suggestions on how to avoid that in case it was happening.

The venerable DH of controversy wrote:Your reason for not finding it funny isn't invalid though -- you have every right to be involved with what is and isn't taught to your children.

So I'm clearly not advocating your hypothetical situation in the least.
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby cnnplus5 on Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:12 pm

Attention Husbands

If you don't want to be treated like a child, don't act like one. Women would much rather have an advocate or "partner in crime" than to have another overgrown child. Mothers also don't have sex with their sons, so if you want any, grow up.

I totally cannot see trish giggling and running for the camcorder when 20 month old William starts using explicitives...


good point hotmomma

and trish's husband...I think it's cool that you are taking over for Trish while she is sick, but I think taking over her m2m account, by dragging up old threads is...well...kinda weird. Do you always peruse this board?
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby mema2many on Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:42 pm

William must be a very good baby..Lucky you..that gives Trishs' DH alot of time to surf and writing a book for a reply! Maybe, ladies, he is bored while taking care of her while she is recouping. But respect is pure and simple at any age to anyone. You do have earn respect to get respect...but only if it has been lost in the first place.
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby MegaDad on Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:36 pm

This is Trish's DH.
hotmomma wrote:Attention Husbands

If you don't want to be treated like a child, don't act like one. Women would much rather have an advocate or "partner in crime" than to have another overgrown child. Mothers also don't have sex with their sons, so if you want any, grow up.

I totally cannot see trish giggling and running for the camcorder when 20 month old William starts using explicitives...

There are two things that need to be addressed. The first one, which is exceedingly simple, is that I never advocated teaching babies bad words. I offered ways to prevent it from happening, reasons why it might be happening, and how to deal with the potential underlying issues. Everyone seems to be locking onto the fact that I'm not outraged by this and think the actual incident is funny. I make no apologies about what makes me laugh. Guess what, I think poos are funny too. I laughed when William peed right on my face when I took his rectal temperature the other night. For God sake, I'm the pee-ee, not the pee-er in that case.

The second is your comparison of husbands to overgrown children and withholding of sex. That is as offensive to me as if I were to say to you that some wives should be seen and not heard (e.g. welcome to the 40s, you're too yappy and simple minded, go make my supper and iron my clothes, woman). It's a grade-A gender cop-out. You should be ashamed having said it. Your gender doesn't get to decide what is and is not mature, at least not since I was 12 and you guys got your period before my pits started stink'n, and certainly not while target.com's women's sleepware section starts with a pillow fight pictures and pages of monkey pajamas. Last I checked we both laughed at the same comedy shows and movies, so the idea that you're stuck with overgrown children is a convenient switch you get to flip when you think you're right and we're wrong. Like it or not, we're in this together and you don't get to bogart the raising of the baby unless your baby daddy is not into it at all. If you don't like something that we're doing, or think that it is incorrect, the surest way to get it resolved is to talk to us as an equal, not down to us like a child.

I would never treat my wife like a child, EVER. I'm always ready to talk and listen as an equal when arguments arise, regardless of what has been said. I would never intentionally talk down to her like she was any way inferior to me. I expect the same from her in return. Perhaps we live in a fairy tale world, but my wife will come to me if she feels I'm doing something wrong, and I feel like I can come to her. Perhaps that's because we were married 8 years before we had our first, perhaps we worked out all our issues before we tackled raising a kid -- I can't say for sure obviously.

The one thing I can say is that treating your husband as a child regardless of how you think he is acting is low despicable behavior and you should avoid it. If we can come from a world where Sean Connery freely admits and discusses that there are times it is warranted to slap a woman to Barbra Walters in an interview, you can probably muster enough strength and personal character to treat your husband as an equal in parenting while demanding gender equality elsewhere for yourselves.

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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby hotmomma on Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:49 pm

I'm not comparing "men" to overgrown children. I'm comparing men who act like overgrown children to overgrown children.

My husband, for example, is not an overgrown child, he is a man. I know lots of husbands who are men, and lots of husbands who are overgrown children.

I did not advocate withholding sex, I stated, a woman does not normally tend to have sex with her child. So, if you are acting like a child and wondering why she has no interest in having sex with you, that would be why.

Can Trish come back?
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby MegaDad on Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:51 pm

cnnplus5 wrote:and trish's husband...I think it's cool that you are taking over for Trish while she is sick, but I think taking over her m2m account, by dragging up old threads is...well...kinda weird. Do you always peruse this board?

I just happened to be on here because she said she was doting on me while recovering from her pneumonia and I was curious what was being said. She sends me links from time to time so I'm familiar with the board, but it may come as a surprise (or not!) that I really don't find this board very interesting for the most part. I just happened to hit new posts and see "My husband the idiot (rant)" and thought "Damn, wonder what the goof did, this aught to be as good as when the CVS pharmacy guy thought I was feeding out baby sprite in a bottle." I read the OP's first post and felt that I would be remiss if I didn't offer another point of view and was willing to take the heat if it meant bestowing upon XX chromosome land some useful XY chromosome information. I created my own account because Trish sends me enough threads that she thinks I might be interested in that I figured I wouldn't mind being able to reply without disparaging her online persona so I registered me my own account. I really have no plans to frequent the board. I can barely keep up with my darn car forums (Vroom vroom!).
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Re: My husband the Idiot (rant)

Postby sahmiam43 on Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:06 pm

Hey, Wayne, I think they can use your help over on the Deal Breaker thread. Getting pretty interesting over there. Totally in need of a little XY. :D

I kinda feel bad for PP ( the OP). Bet she thought this incident was long gone, heck, how old was the baby when she first posted this? Anyway, I think it's great that we can vent here.. but alas, archive diving often brings up stuff that should stay gone.

Hope Trish is feeling better. Pneumonia with a newborn in the house has to suck.
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