Stay at home moms and sick days.

[Alex'sMommy]

Laura's blog reminded me of a story my neighbor told me. She is a stay at home mom like me, and one day she decided she needed a sick day. She went to her bedroom and called her husband from her cell phone on his cell phone. She told him she was calling in sick and that he would need to stay home with the kids. She said she stayed in her bedroom all day, watching TV and doing whatever she wanted. She only came out to get something to eat or drink. I envy her.

What typically happens at your house if you really are sick? Do you still get yourself out of bed to make sure the kids have what they need before they leave for school? Or maybe you have kids still at home and you are left to take care of them while you are sick.

I think my husband is a good guy. He helps around the house, tough not as much as I would like, and he plays with our son. However, when he is sick and stays home all he worries about is himself. When I am sick, he goes to work and leaves me at home to take care of our son. Can you tell me how this is fair? Probably not, because it isn't.

I think we should form a Stay At Home Mom Sick Day where we all call in because what we do is work, a real job, and it needs to be recognized as such.

[sahmiam43]

I am sick today, and nope, my husband didn't stay home. Because I work at home, I'll not be taking a full sick day either, but I don't plan on getting a lot done.

Yesterday, Sunday, I was also sick and just stayed on the couch all day while he washed my car and took the kids outside and pretty much kept them away from me and got them dinner.

But weekdays when he has to go to work, he goes. When the kids were bitty and I was sick, I just laid around as much as possible- we had movie and PJ days. Now I have 6 kid free hours and I just force myself to get them to school- whatever that takes- and rest as much as possible when they leave. I might get out of cooking dinner,though.

[julsbean]

I always find this topic interesting and not trying to start a stay at home vs working but I really find that Mom's in gerneral don't have sick days. On the flip side as a working Mom, I haven't taken a sick day for myself (except for the two days I was actually in the hopital for surgery or on maternity leave). Time off is so precious and the few days my husband or I do have, we save those for in case one of the kids should get ill. I can honestly say that I have had to put a client on hold on the phone and puke in the trash can next to me. I dream of a warm bed on days where I am coughing up a lung but that just isn't reality. I am not saying it is right or ideal but just a reality for alot of people. On the few days I have been home sick it is because I have a sick kiddo home from school too. I think every job is recongized but concept of being a parent (no matter where you work) and sick days are one of the many things we give up for our wonderful children.

[Alex'sMommy]

julsbean - I know what you mean about saving your sick days for your children. When my older two were little I worked full time. I typically had to use my sick days for them and I only stayed home if I was extremely ill. I don't take your comment as a vs. thing at all. It's nice that your husband saves his sick days for the kids too.

I personally feel that my husband doesn't get it. When he is sick, he stays home and doesn't do anything. When I am sick, he goes go work and leaves me to take care of everything, as usual. I don't want to make him sound like a horrible person, because he isn't. He does help around the house but when he is sick you would think he was the only person in the entire world that has ever been sick.

Case in point: One weekend I became very ill. By Monday I was running a fever and was feeling terrible. He went to work and left me with our then 5YO son. I made a Dr. appt and took my son with me. It was hot out that day and I was burning up with fever and in a lot of pain. I was at the Dr.'s office for over an hour and was told I needed to go to have a CT scan. I called my husband and he didn't come home to get our son. I took him with me to get the CT scan then I was sent back to the Dr.'s office. I didn't plan on being out that long so I had to stop and get lunch for my son. Back at the Dr.'s office for another hour then back home, all the while burning up with a high fever. Turns out I was diagnosed with diverticulitis. I was NOT happy with him that day. Had that been him, he would have been able to go by himself or even have me drive him and take care of our son.

Sometimes I don't feel like what I do is looked at as a job and feel taken for granted. Not a cool feeling.

[julsbean]

Alexmommy, I would have been LIVID too. Can we chalk it up to a guy thing where everyone can be sick but the world doesn't stop until they get sick? I hate to make generalizations but I swear everytime I get sick my pefectly healty husband starts to "come down with something" too but yet never seems to get the full blown systems that I would end up having. Sigh....