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Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby mom2momkc on Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:47 am

Been brought to my attention the last couple years that a popular thing to do at middle school dances is to "grind" on the dance floor.
So far, I haven't really figured out exactly what this entails, but I know that DJs are stopping the music and telling the kids to knock it off. (!!)

Anyone have any recon on this? What exactly is grinding? Have the kids at your middle school been doing it?

And is it as nasty & inappropriate for this age group as it sounds, or much ado about nothing?? I am reminded of the horror parents felt in the '50s with that "awful Elvis and his pelvis..."
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby momonnet on Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:55 am

Better not have.
I don't think so. It would be so out of character for him to have done that.
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby cookiemonster30 on Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:59 am

Yes it is absolutely inappropriate for this age group. Basically when the kids are grinding they are grinding against each other in a sexual manner. Thankfully my 14 yo dd doesn't do it and calls the girls that do it, "hoes".
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby sahmiam43 on Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:00 am

well.. er.. the first time link I got to YouTube gave me the option of proving my age before I could see it as it was inappropriate". Poked around a few more including the ones from school dances...I did get this one..watched all of 30 seconds of it before I stopped it... Middle school?? Um, how many ways are there to say "NO!"? I think it's quite a bit worse than Elvis ever was ( as he was alone and this is a couples game). Knock it off indeed.

Watch but you are warned, these are ( presumably ) professionals and consenting adults but um, it's a bit much.
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby mombear23 on Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:12 am

This is one of the reasons my children didn't go to dances in middle school. I don't know if they "grind" at my son's school; he is just trying to figure out the girl/boy relationship thing. It is too stressful for him to go. This is also one of the reasons IMO is it irresponsible for SCHOOLS to have dances at this age. It is pushing the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Shoot, I would think they would want to eliminate any distractions from they reason they exist--teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. It is REALLY distracting at this age.

P.S. Statistically I have read that people who date at a young age (together, break up, together, etc.) are at a greater risk of divorce. The breaking up/getting together becomes a pattern.

This is not to disparage people who have experienced divorce. It happens. It is painful.
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby epv5 on Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:19 am

I watched just a couple minutes and have to say what I saw was mild compared to a few things I've seen: Picture a girl w/ hands on the floor, butt in the hair w/ a guy behind her grinding up against her backside. IMHO (and I used to go to clubs sometimes that included plenty of grinding) Elvis Presley is to grinding what girls wearing a "short" skirt in the 50's is to girls wearing a thong we can all see because the waist of her jeans is barely above her pubic hair and showing her crack in the back. I do think there's a hug difference between what Elvis was doing and inciting and this grinding which is basically simulated sex. Again, this comes from someone who sees adults doing it in a club and could care less, but kids at school dances? Whole different ballgame.
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby 8377 on Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:57 am

I just watched a few moments of the video and OMG. This brings back memories (all bad) of too many drinks and Westport, but then I was in college not middle school!

My 9yo DD has several friends who take dance lessons and do competitve dance. When they come over to play they like to turn the music on and dance - some of the moves are very similar to the thrusting and grinding shown here. DD is very uncomfortable with it and is very good about making up some excuse about how her mom gets headaches and she cannot play the music that loudly (something we've talked about and I don't care if she uses me to get out of the situation!).

I think that little girls today are exposed to this type of dancing too early - some dance studios go too far, cheerleading, all the movies - High School Musical 1,2 and probably 3 as well, Hannah Montana. I'm just glad my girls don't like it - Well for now that is!
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby LNDofMOM on Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:20 pm

I think it is totally inappropriate and agree that dances in middle school are not really necessary. I remember going as a middle schooler and dreading it. They were so lame, boys on one side girls on another. But now things are different. It makes me sick to see two kids that young holding hands and making out at the city parade let alone dancing like that at a school sanctioned event.
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby angelsdream76 on Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:36 pm

Watching that reminds me of the movie Dirty Dancing. Which my mom always told me that good girls didn't dance like that back then.
But anyways, we always had school dances starting in 6th grade, but our dancing was like the fox trot compared to that video. And if I EVER caught my daughters dancing like that I would be dragging them by their hair out of there. And we would be having some serious talks on how to conduct themselves as ladies.
Where my oldest DD takes tumbling they teach cheerleading there too. I was shocked watching one of the routines for these young girls (about 10 years old) thrusting their mid sections and chests out.
I don't think it is all media, parents need to be telling their sons and daughters how to behave properly. And that just because Miley or the High School Musical crew is dancing that way doesn't mean it is right.
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Re: Is your middle schooler "grinding?"

Postby JMS on Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:41 pm

You all should see the things that HS students try to get away with doing at the HS dances. It's's one thing to be an adult at a club and another thing to be a teenager in the school's gym. Basically they simulate sex and the goal of the dancing for the girls is to "break him off" which means that she wriggles around until he becomes excited and can't take it anymore. Then, the girl has "won" and she moves on to another guy. For the guys, it's about controlling arousal...and if that happens, he wins.

I thought the kids in MS were still chasing each other around (literally chasing).
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