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Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby JazzyJacci08 on Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:26 pm

Adoption vs Keeping Baby

by JazzyJacci08 on Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:06 pm

So I have to write a 10 page paper on Why less then 1% of womem who have a unplanned pregnancy decide to keep the baby instead of giving it up for adoption. I am referring to women ages 13 to 21. Please give me an insight on your thoughts about the following questions:

1. Why would a mom want to keep the baby if she is still in school?

2. Why would a mom want to keep the baby if she has never been able to get a job, hold down a job, and or does not want to work?

3. Why wouldn't a mom what the very best for her child, that she is clearly not able able to provide; like reliable shelter, finanical security, emotional stablity, healthy relationship between parenting partners?

4. Don't mom's who chose to keep the baby know they are raising the proverty level in the U.S. if they don't come from money?

Do you know that Teen mothers rarely are able to get ahead in their lives and are less likely than their peers to finish high school and are more likely to get into an abusive relationship in the future? So why do they keep them?

Please help me so I can write a related and useful paper.
Thank you for all your help and insight.
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Re: Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby mighty on Fri Dec 07, 2012 10:06 am

What do you find with a Google search of adoption? I don't have any answers that you can back up with data. I can only guess that some mothers believe that somehow, someway, they'll raise that baby themselves. They're following their hearts vs. following their heads.
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Re: Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby vengholm on Fri Dec 07, 2012 6:56 pm

Your questions seem a little loaded. It's clear you're on the side of teen mothers giving their babies up for adoption. To that, I'll just say:

My sister got pregnant at 16. She dropped out of school and married the baby's father, and had another baby by the same father a short eighteen months later. The odds were against her, and they were divorced by the time she was 21. She was my half sister, and while I had my father when our mother abandoned us, she had no one but herself.

Today, she has her GED, an amazing job, two incredibly smart teenaged boys, and is recently married with a new baby girl. She is one of the best mothers I have ever known. Having been through some of the hardest times, and up against some of the worst odds, she stayed positive and took good care of those boys. I'm proud of her.

So, your questions as to why a teen mom would choose to keep her baby? Love, Sweetie. They love their babies. Sure, not all of them have the superpowers my sister has, but some of them do. Maybe if we supported these girls instead of just assuming that unless they "come from money" they'll never make it, they would actually make it.

Put that in your paper.
"Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours." - Swedish Proverb
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Re: Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby battlefieldmomma on Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:24 am

Just reading your questions made me bite my tongue. Thank, you Valerie, for posting a reply.

I only know 1 teen mother (& she was a late teens mother a long time ago). Her child is a beautiful, successful mother in her own right. The former teen mother struggled, but became a successful professional earning a significant income.

If you want "facts" to support your opinion, call Governor Brownback's office. I'm sure his staff will give you everything you need.
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Re: Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby battlefieldmomma on Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:35 am

I forgot to add that I am an adoptee from way back when unwed mothers were essentially shamed into giving up their child for adoption. My birth mother did what her family wanted her to do & put me up for adoption.

She regrets it to this day. She would have gotten family support had she kept me, and I definitely would have felt loved, but, at the time, it was not considered an option.

I do not think that we should revert back to "the old days". Adoption is a choice and everyone's situation is different. There is way too much generalization & judgment in the original posted questions.

(whew, stepping down now)
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Re: Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby Alex'sMommy on Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:15 am

I think if you are going to write the paper, you need to be informed on both sides of the subject. Not just the one you agree with.

I can't speak for every teen mom, but I kept my child because I loved her. I was 18 when I had my daughter. I didn't come from a wealthy family and didn't really have a ton of support. My husband and I took care of her by ourselves and never took any handouts from anyone.

My daughter is now 24, has graduated from college with little to no student loans, is married, owns a home and is a teacher at a very good local school. I am not doing too bad myself. ;)

I know we may not be the norm but just because you keep your child, it doesn't mean they will repeat the cycle or grow up in poverty.

Maybe instead of looking into why we don't give up our children, we should be wondering why so many girls get pregnant in the first place.
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Re: Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby JazzyJacci08 on Tue Dec 11, 2012 6:25 pm

First let me apologize to those that may have felt offended by my post. About 90% percent of the people I interviewed are for teens and young parents keeping their babies.

I guess I have such an issue with this factor, because I am a product of a teen pregnancy. I my self also got pregnant because I was afraid to say "no" to a guy I went on a date with, when he stated he should "get some" for taking me out and spending over $100 on me. Yet he ate too and saw the movie. I ended up marrying and got pregnant very quick again on BC. Now I am divorced and have my children to support by myself. I have an AAS degree but it doesn't mean much since I make 7.75 a hour. My life sucks! I am a good parent, but that means nothing when I can't pay my bills and provide wholesome meals most nights for them. I wish I had the smarts to give my kids up for adoption. I think I only did not because I am adopted and my youth experience was full of trama and very challenging.

Again please forgive me if I stepped on anyones toes. Thank you for your responses and input. It was very informative and helpful.
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Re: Keeping Baby vs Adoption, Why?

Postby JazzyJacci08 on Tue Dec 11, 2012 6:31 pm

[quote="battlefieldmomma"]I forgot to add that I am an adoptee from way back when unwed mothers were essentially shamed into giving up their child for adoption. My birth mother did what her family wanted her to do & put me up for adoption.

She regrets it to this day. She would have gotten family support had she kept me, and I definitely would have felt loved, but, at the time, it was not considered an option.

I do not think that we should revert back to "the old days". Adoption is a choice and everyone's situation is different. There is way too much generalization & judgment in the original posted questions.

(whew, stepping down now)

[So, you met your birth mother? How was that? I wouldn't want to meet my. But some of my siblings that were also adopted did. And well, I don't think I am messing much.]
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