Mom2mom Poll: At what age should kids be allowed to "date?"

[kckady]

Time for this week's Mom2mom poll question. Answer this one and check in FYI and on mom2momkc.com next Monday, July 21, to see what our mom2mom panel has to say.

The question: At what age should kids be allowed to "date?"
A. 6th grade
B. 7th-8th grade
C. 9th-10th grade

[bradyzmom]

I say 9-10th grade. The rule when I was younger was 16...I had my first official date to a school dance when I was 15. I guess the rule was broken even for the oldest kiddo in the family.
But for my son---NEVER:)

[margopoz]

My husband says it should be "40" and that's after the two decades in the monastery.

[dollarfifty]

Where's the "never" choise??

[mamalackey]

The reality of it is that in middle school kids "date". Not really dating but they sit together in the lunch room at school and if they go hang out somewhere together at the mall or the movies or church youth group. All is considered dating by the kiddos anyhow. Our take on it was if it's a group thing what's the harm in what the kid calls it. Loosening the apron strings is a good thing. I've got early 20 somethings that I have a hard time remembering that they are old enough to date (and get married in less than two weeks)! But because I/we supervised and took care to make sure what was going on, it was a safe thing for them to do. Rambling, I know. Hope that made sense.

[ProxyMom]

I put 7th-8th grade, thinking along the same lines as mamalackey. The definition of 'date' at that age is (usually, not always) much milder than if they were 20-something. I don't want my 7th grader getting into some teenager's car & going to the drive-in, but meeting up with a boy at a school dance or whatever -- that doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

Plus, it's not like they'll ever truly be alone. DH & I are already in training for our future Black Ops missions, 'Project Chaperone'. I don't really want to get into too many details, but it involves some GPS tracking units, a pair of black Vespas, and an Acme disguise kit... the usual. If you are interested in training yourself for a similar project, I would highly recommending taking up geocaching, a mixed martial arts or extreme kickboxing class, and pantomime. Much like our views on other illicit teen activities, we figure by the time our children have figured out how to elude us / escape detection they're probably at least semi-capable of taking care of themselves. Or at the very least overthrowing a small third world country.

[frizzed]

My defintion of a "date" is where he calls the girl, she accepts, he drives himself over to her house (preferrably in his own car), picks her up from her house, obtains parental permission and lets her parents know where they are going and when she will be home, and THEN they go out on a "date" which he pays for with his OWN money.

For that he would have to have a job where has earned his own money, driver's license (has to have good grades and be a decent son for that), and permission to drive my car (he may have his own clunker, we aren't sure yet), and obtains permission from the girls' parents to take her out. All of these things probably won't happen until he is at least 16 so I chose 9-10th grade.

Last summer, my then 12 year old went to WOF with his "girlfriend"'s family and I think one other time met a group of kids which included a "girlfriend" at the movies. Of course, they were supposed to see a PG movie but instead went to a PG-13 movie that I had NOT approved but that's another story!

[akleidosty]

I think high school is soon enough. Encourage them to be kids for as long as possible!

[dollarfifty]

I agree with 9th-10th grade. And I know of the "dating" with the Jr High kids. But my issue is how much older should the boy be than the girl? My 14 yr old DD says she is "seeing" a 16 yr old. I lightened-up a bit and said he could come here, but she is never, ever to get in his car or go to his house. I hope that by lightening-up a bit she won't feel the need to sneak around. Was I right?

[LNDofMOM]

I think it really depends, I wouldn't encourage my children to do any form of dating per say. I guess I will have to see when we get there...gosh I hope its not for a long time.
I was in 5th grade when a boy asked me out? I didn't know what the heck he was talking about. He said it just like that "would you like to go out with me?" I asked him take me out where? I was such a dork.
I didn't date like go out on a real date till my junior year.