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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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Today my social networking feed is filled with reminders that it is indeed the day for love. Some sentiments are words meant to resemble the sweet nothings whispered in their lover’s ears. Others are doting words of the maternal or paternal bond that was released by birth and can never be squelched. Spattered intermittently in the words of devotion lie the emotions from the flip side of the coin, those who are embittered because they find themselves alone on the proclaimed day of love, maybe separated from their loves, perhaps by miles or through the natural course of life.
My confession to you, for today is this-I was once that mocker of candy conversation hearts and long-stemmed red roses. My blood ran cold when I thought of promises of Cupid and his labors of love. I didn’t keep my thoughts buried inside. Oh no, I was loud, the clanging gong of love gone wrong, never to be the same again.
I thought I spared my children from some of my disdain by always making sure that I had some sort of heart-shaped trinket or candy for them to enjoy. I had dinners of chocolate pancakes to woo their stomachs and time spent making sure their Valentine boxes were decorated and we had cards that were addressed for their elementary school parties. These activities filled the days before the big event. Cookies decorated with red sprinkles and boxes of conversation hearts adorned our table, and eased my guilt that I couldn’t love the holiday that I was pushing my kids to enjoy.
Last night I watched my seventeen year old daughter fill out cards for her host of friends at school-and I listened to the story of my middle-school son buying a carnation at school for his crush. My heart dared to be hopeful that they are not embittered from my down-with-the-love sentiments from the years past.
Then came the Facebook status from college daughter-Happy Single Forever Day, or something like that. Oh no! My work is not done-time was of the essence if I was to remind her that this day isn’t just about romantic love. It is familial love, friendship love and even that peaceful, brotherly love that we certainly do not have enough of in this world.
This day of love, whatever kind of love you want to embrace, needs to be celebrated, with enough earnest that it carries over every day. Love is important enough that singers everywhere proclaim its accolades in songs, from the Beatles words of “All You Need Is Love” to Captain and Tenille’s swinging song of “Love Will Keep Us Together”, and we can’t forget famous ballads over love that is lost. Poets pen verse after verse about the emotion. Jesus taught that loving our neighbor as ourselves was the greatest Commandment.
The greatest mistake I can make is to forget to teach my kids that love is more than the romantic kind the one that drives people to purchase dozens of long-stemmed floral arrangements and boxes of sugar-laden treats. Love is about hugs and kind words, good deeds and random acts of kindness. Of course, there is room is for romantic love, but love, no matter what kind, should feel good.
This year, I didn’t frown at the calendar when I realized that Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching. For the first time in many years, I get to celebrate romantic love. More than that, I get to be the clanging gong of hope to my children that love is kind, tall and wide, and worth sharing. Every Single Day.
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