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As I sit here typing, I hope that the words that are tumbling through my fingertips onto my keyboard make sense to you, my reader. In my head they mean something, actually more than that, they mean life to me, but I know that once they are out here, in space, I am open to judgment. Some may ridicule, others may say silent hurrahs-perhaps there might be the tight-lipped clucking of the tongue or shaking of the head. It is a chance I am going to take, because what is in here is screaming to get out.
Tuesday, while spending a sick day at home, nursing myself back from the depths of some demonic, viral, stomach-wrenching illness, I decided I was having some network news withdrawals. I sat myself down in front of the television to catch up on the evening news. Bad news, the bigger headlines, made me do my usual cringe, but I found myself on the edge of my easy chair when I heard some newer, brighter news.
The Boy Scouts of America Board is meeting this coming week to discuss and propose changes that would allow homosexual leaders and boys in their ranks. My mood brightened from the ho-hum, sickly, style I had been sporting the last couple of days. I felt hopeful, excited for what this could mean for the futures of young men who might want to join the Boy Scouts or men who could possibly lead the next generation of scouts in their advancements.
Of course, there is a catch-they want to allow a sponsoring organization to guide this rule-so, if a sponsoring church says they do not condone homosexuality, they can guide the troop they sponsor to hold those same standards. It isn’t a total win for the equality of people, but it is a start.
Since I was well enough to make the trek to work the following day, I read the full story in the paper with earnest, and my much more alert self was more thrilled than the day before. I thought about my two boys, their love of scouts and their acceptance of people-homosexuals included. Lessons I have carefully crafted in my home because I believe that color of skin, sexual orientation and religious beliefs, or lack thereof, don’t constitute the character of a person.
My opinions are unpopular in a society that is quite divided, and I used to balk when it came to expressing those. I listened to the people around me that earnestly spewed the hate and vitriol of the homosexual agenda and my beliefs of love and tolerance came out as meek words-my shield a flimsy metal, taped together with good intentions, easily flopped aside, the attack from others brutal and hard for me to take.
Today, those same ideas, which are still met with the same hateful rhetoric, are faced with a different defense. My words are strong, and my shield is welded skillfully, the iron almost impenetrable. My life is at stake because I am no longer just a by-stander, watching the straight world stand against the gay population. I am a member of the gay population, and I am outing myself happily, proud of the person I am, the kids that I am raising and happily residing on cloud nine because of the life I am now living. I am free, I am happy, I am me.
Whatever the Boy Scouts decide to do in their meeting, at least they are talking, having the conversation. A path to tolerance is being paved, and roadblocks or not, I will trudge that road, hopefully with a growing army of leaders and boys, anyone who wants to join. Let us be ready to add the mortar of love and the stones of acceptance where needed to make the road longer, wider and stronger, able to carry us through to the end.
This is a big step for you, mygr8crew! I'm excited for you and proud of you for your bravery. I am proud to call you my friend. Your kids have such a great roll model in you! You rock, Sister!No clucking from here, only wild applause and a big loving hug. With this post, your voice changed- you stepped from behind your shield and your writing will never be the same. And for that I am superfreakywow excited for you! *claps for Susan*Congratulations! Your kids do indeed have a great role model. I won't be terribly impressed with the Boy Scouts, though, until they do the right thing and take a stand against bigotry by banning discrimination throughout the organization -- and welcoming atheists into their ranks.You're right, at least the Boy Scouts are talking about it, and that's the first step right? It's a hard thing to talk about have so many centuries of homosexuality being treated as a shameful thing. And good for you for coming out proudly! Yay for being who you are! Which, I must say, is someone quite amazing.Well done. Both the coming out and the writing about it. As a closeted mom you can lead a boy scout troop. As a gay mom you cannot lead a boy scout. In one day you went from able to not. Absurd? As a closeted mom you can lead a girl scout troop. As a gay mom you can lead a girl scout troop. I have had to sit by for years, years, while my well intentioned friends put their kids in scouts despite my reservations. I have even, in the interest of welcoming diversity, not fought to remove the boy scout troop from our church. But my kids respect me more today for walking out of church on Boy Scout Sunday than they did yesterday . . . at our house the new mantra is you have to stand for something or you stand for nothing. I hope tomorrow they announce the change. I really do. People in scouts are on the wrong side of history.I knew I had a supportive network of people around me, but wow, I am still overwhelmed. As I posted this yesterday, I felt like a brick had been flung off my chest. Then I spend most of the day bantering back and forth with some of those closed-minded individuals from the BSA which solidified the fact that the road is going to be long and bumpy. Policies can change but people are not always so inclined. The most hurtful was a comment made by someone, a mom outside of scouts, who I considered my friend, and this reminded me that my path isn't always going to easy, but the same old scenery does get kind of boring. Annie, thanks and thanks. You are right, standing up for what I believe is better than just taking it-a lesson that my children take to heart as they join me in doing things such as boycotting Chik-Fil-A, or in other areas where I display activism. Also, the greatest joy, they have accepted me as I am, as well as my partner. I smile more and more every single day.A brave post. And I hope the Boy Scouts do the right thing, even if it is primarily because they're facing the threat of lawsuits right now.It is not lawsuits that drive this, as the SCOTUS already affirmed the right of a private group to have its own membership standards. It is Money. In order to be a scout you have to say and agree to live by the Scout oath and law. For years people read the promise to be "morally straight" to mean "sexually straight". I have been a scout and scouter for years (over 30) and just cannot see that this 'interpretation' holds any more, if it ever did. Our own troop has had Scouts with two moms who were excellent leaders (and our church sponsor never put on any withc hint to find them either). In Scouts the chartering organization (CO) (be it a church, lions club, group of parents, etc) actually OWNES the unit, not National BSA. It is like a franchise. National sets rules and regs, but the CO is the owner. If this proposal goes through, and I hope it does, each CO can decide what to do, if anything. My guess is that some churches will not allow gay scouts or leaders (not that a SCOUT'S sexuality is a legitimate topic for boy scouts anyway), but many will ether just not ask, or continue to not make an issue of it unless something happens that requires a response.. The most important point is that NATIONAL will no longer be clinging to the farce that you have to be sexually straight to be morally straight. As it has always been, if you can't find a unit you fit in with you can start your own. I suspect sympathetic COs will pop up (and there are already a nontrivial number including ones you might be surprised at) to sponsor troops and packs where orientation is not even asked about. THAT is progress. Why all the fuss? Money. The program needs corporate donors to provide affordable, quality programs for youth. Some major donors are shying away. My guess is that National BSA has had frank discussions with the major CO groups (the largest being the LDS, Catholic, Methodist and other Churches) and if this passes it means that those groups will probably have the option of making a public fuss, and there may be fall out, but after a while it will all calm down and we can shift the focus of scouts back out of the bedrooms of leaders and back on to the program that serves boys from Cub scouts through high school AND GIRLS and BOYS 14 through 21 in the Venture program. On the issue of god, however, there is a problem. BSA is a private religious based group. In order to join you have to swear "on my honor, i will do my best, to do my duty to god...." Based on long standing (over 100 year) tradition and requirement it matters not what god (or gods) but you must believe in some god or higher power in order to join and advance. Many rank requirements require some faith based actions with your own pastor, priest or a religious leader. The SCOTUS decisions will not allow the forced removal of god from a religious program, nor should it. I look forward to a day, hopefully in the next couple months, when we can put the artificial prohibition against gays behind us and let our gay brothers and sisters (who have always been there and are amongst all levels of scouts and scouters) just get along with making the program even better.
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