advertisement
-
Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
- read more
mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
- read more
Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
- read more
Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
- read more
-
Our New Year’s scene was similar to many that we have celebrated before. The table held a plethora of munchies, bottles of clear, carbonated beverages and juice for holiday “mocktails.” The kids chose G and PG-rated movies and laughter filled our house. There was no doubt that the kids would make it to midnight, full of energy from the anticipation of meeting a new year, but knowing that my alarm clock would be greeting me early, for holiday work, I chose to lift my glass early and I snuggled in my bed at ten-thirty, leaving the kids to watch the ball drop in our traditional style.
As I slept I dreamed of the year that was staring me in my face, daring me to flirt with the idea of making resolutions. I shuddered in my sleep because the word resolution strikes me as so absolute. Make a list of things I am going to do. I don’t do them. I feel like a failure.
Thanks, but no thanks. I generally don’t need any help feeling a little dispirited, I certainly don’t need to make it formal.
I have a hard time sitting down on the first day of the year and spelling out what I will do for the next three hundred sixty-five. My eyes bulge and the noggin hurts as I try think of the things that I know I should write down, because most of the time it is requires digging deep inside-well, face it, not very deep at all-and pull out the need-to work-on-skills, or lack thereof, and polish them, improve on them. It means I have to take an honest look at who I am and figure out how to make myself better.
I guess it wouldn’t mean much if I put something on that list that I knew I was already good at and promised myself to be better at it. Do I really need to type faster? Nobody would benefit if I procrastinated more. My neighbors would complain if I listened to my music louder-and if I made a resolution to annoy the kids more, well, I can almost guarantee life would not be much different. I guess I better get back to making life affirming and self-improving goals.
Goals-now that is a word I can work with. Sure, they seem like they might be the same, goals and resolutions, but in my mind they are completely different. To me, a resolution seems so much more powerful and if not completed, the disappointment all too devastating. But a goal, for me, doesn’t have a time limit-unless I choose to make one. Maybe I don’t want to make it last the whole year-then so be it. Perhaps the goal has a projected completion of a year and a half-I can manage that. I can leave it open-ended and just be glad when I call it done. Maybe, like most of my life, the goal is just learning, growing and moving down the path, getting through the rough spots and enjoying the smoother parts of the road.
By the end of the first day of the year, I had mentally made a list of goals that I would like to work on in the future and bantered back and forth with a friend about the similarities and differences between goals and resolutions. The beautiful part of all of this- in the midst of that light-hearted conversation, it doesn’t matter whether I call them resolutions or goals, they all lead to self-improvement and growth. I win either way.
So today, on the third day of the year, in the front of my mind I hold a small list of things that I plan to work on the next year-and two. In the event I complete all of them, I will have a stronger body, mind and soul. The figurative hole in my heart that I have held for many years will be smaller, maybe even gone and I will have learned to fully trust again.
I will not shudder at the thought of all that can be, nor will I balk because I might not succeed-for any step in the right direction takes me closer to a completed goal.
June 2013 Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Tagslife (7)
christmas (3)
divorce (3)
growing up (3)
lessons (3)
single parenting (3)
teenagers (3)
accomplishments (2)
back to school (2)
boy scouts (2)
boys (2)
chaos (2)
family time (2)
gratitude (2)
home ownership (2)
kids (2)
motherhood (2)
new year (2)
resolutions (2)
sanity (2)
togetherness (2)
vacation (2)
yard work (2)
(1)
2012 (1)
active teens (1)
activities (1)
adult bully (1)
adventures (1)
age (1)
alright (1)
archery (1)
baby steps (1)
bad examples (1)
best friends (1)
birds (1)
birthday (1)
blog (1)
boys to men (1)
busy-ness (1)
calendar (1)
camp (1)
canoeing (1)
carpentry (1)
challenges (1)
child rearing (1)
children (1)
choice (1)
choices (1)
christmas tree (1)
cleaning room (1)
clubs (1)
coffee (1)
college (1)
college break (1)
coming out (1)
complicated life (1)
confirmation (1)
confused (1)
cookies (1)
cooking (1)
courage (1)
crawlspace (1)
cruise (1)
dance (1)
dead trees (1)
december (1)
decision making (1)
dentist (1)
dinner (1)
disappointment (1)
diy (1)
dogs barking (1)
drug abuse (1)
elections (1)
encouragement (1)
events (1)
facebook (1)
fall funfest (1)
family (1)
family table (1)
fearlessness (1)
fighting (1)
fired (1)
first jobs (1)
forgetfullness (1)
friends (1)
friendship (1)
fun (1)
funny anecdotes (1)
games (1)
goals (1)
good examples (1)
goodbye (1)
goodness (1)
grace (1)
grin (1)
happy birthday (1)
happy hour (1)
health (1)
help (1)
helping others (1)
holiday (1)
holidays (1)
homosexuality (1)
house projects (1)
housework (1)
hugs (1)
humanity (1)
independence (1)
independent (1)
individual attention (1)
joy (1)
jumbled mind (1)
kid=stories (1)
kids cooking (1)
kids saving (1)
kis growing up (1)
labels (1)
last goodby (1)
laughter (1)
laundry anarchy (1)
lemons and lemonade (1)
less hate (1)
life ride (1)
living outside box (1)
lonely (1)
mac and cheese (1)
magazine surveys (1)
maintenance free (1)
manuals (1)
may (1)
me time (1)
medication (1)
mediocre homemaker (1)
memories (1)
mental health (1)
merit badges (1)
middle school (1)
milestones (1)
milk (1)
miss you (1)
mom meetups (1)
mom support (1)
moms dating (1)
money (1)
moral support (1)
more love (1)
neighbors (1)
nervous mom (1)
networking (1)
new years eve (1)
normalcy (1)
not a hugger (1)
numbers (1)
okay with the world (1)
oldest daughter (1)
opportunities (1)
parenting (1)
parenting more than one (1)
people are people (1)
people watching (1)
personal finance (1)
pets (1)
picky eater (1)
plants (1)
play (1)
plays (1)
poetry (1)
raising children (1)
relief (1)
rough patches (1)
sacraments (1)
sad (1)
scaredy cat (1)
self improvement (1)
sick pets (1)
snow (1)
social (1)
social media (1)
spouse (1)
stars (1)
summer break (1)
surreal (1)
surveying life (1)
symmetry (1)
tadpoles (1)
talents (1)
teaching (1)
teen angst (1)
teen bully (1)
teens dating (1)
teens driving (1)
thanks (1)
the big picture (1)
thinking (1)
thoughts (1)
time (1)
tolerance (1)
too many things to do (1)
tooth fairy (1)
traditions (1)
travel (1)
turning sixteen (1)
tweens (1)
unexpected (1)
valentines (1)
village (1)
virtual life (1)
weekend home (1)
weight loss (1)
westport (1)
wood floors (1)
working together (1)
worry (1)
wrestling (1)
writing (1)