advertisement
-
Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
- read more
Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
- read more
mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
- read more
-
Dating-this word has been tossed around our house often, considering three teens share space under one roof. Whether one of the kids is going on a date to a movie, heading to a school dance or just “going out” as boyfriend and girlfriend, it isn’t a word that we use lightly. My ever watchful eyes are always keeping track of the comings and goings, and I am constantly sitting in waiting, ready with a smile as I watch the kids navigate the rough tides of young emotions, and always armed with hopefully the right words, just in case teen feelings are crushed.
But what about I, the mom-when I go out on my first date, the first one in like more than ten years. How do I even realize it is a date- I mean my cue cards were tossed in the trash long ago, partially in frustration, maybe more in the realization that they were pretty lame and useless. Who do I turn to for those words of encouragement, is there someone sitting back, waiting to see how the tide turns, ready with hugs in the case of sink or swim, maybe even with some big hurrahs.
I didn’t think I would ever really find out, but recently, I was pleasantly surprised, and nervous and scared to see the opportunity was there. I had to dig back deep into the recesses of my brain to remember the last time I went on a date. I wanted to recall what I wore, the words I said, but all of that escaped me. So, it was up to me to go with what I have-and maybe look a little to my teens to figure out what I should do.
I would like to say that it is ironic to use the example of my older children to guide me in this world that feels foreign to me, but when I stop and think about it, I am constantly learning from my brood. I have learned how not to dress, how to navigate the ever-growing supply of technology we have attained over the years, and how to be a better car passenger than I used to be. Well, the list is longer, embarrassingly longer, but the point is there. Needless to say, if they can teach me all of this, then it is a no-brainer that looking to them for a glimpse of how to minimize the first date awkwardness and have a good time could be the way to go.
So today, I am on the other side of the first date, looking to the future of possibly more. I would like to say I wasn’t nervous, scared and didn’t appear one bit awkward, but I won’t lie-it was all there and more. My typical nervous self, talked, talked and talked some more. Yeah, I felt like I had a monopoly on the conversation-but I did get quite a few laughs. I stumbled on the-no-let-me-take-care-of-my-own-lunch-because, well, that is how I have rolled the last ten years, or more. Slinking back and being taken care of was different-one of those things that I had to stop myself from arguing pointlessly about and just be.
Between my teens and the handful of friends that are on my side, I see myself navigating future dates with a little more ease and hopefully some grace. The fear I have of the unknown is settled some by knowing that I survived this all once, many years ago, and my teens survive it now, with lots of support and love. I am learning that I have all of that same help in front of me, whatever turn this tide takes. The teens in my home, the friends in my life have the same words of encouragement and hugs of hope waiting for me.
May 2013 Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Tagslife (7)
christmas (3)
divorce (3)
growing up (3)
lessons (3)
single parenting (3)
teenagers (3)
accomplishments (2)
back to school (2)
boy scouts (2)
boys (2)
chaos (2)
family time (2)
gratitude (2)
home ownership (2)
kids (2)
motherhood (2)
new year (2)
resolutions (2)
sanity (2)
togetherness (2)
vacation (2)
yard work (2)
(1)
2012 (1)
active teens (1)
activities (1)
adult bully (1)
adventures (1)
age (1)
alright (1)
archery (1)
baby steps (1)
bad examples (1)
best friends (1)
birds (1)
birthday (1)
boys to men (1)
busy-ness (1)
calendar (1)
camp (1)
canoeing (1)
carpentry (1)
challenges (1)
child rearing (1)
children (1)
choice (1)
choices (1)
christmas tree (1)
cleaning room (1)
clubs (1)
coffee (1)
college (1)
college break (1)
coming out (1)
complicated life (1)
confirmation (1)
confused (1)
cookies (1)
cooking (1)
courage (1)
crawlspace (1)
cruise (1)
dance (1)
dead trees (1)
december (1)
decision making (1)
dentist (1)
dinner (1)
disappointment (1)
diy (1)
dogs barking (1)
drug abuse (1)
elections (1)
encouragement (1)
events (1)
facebook (1)
fall funfest (1)
family (1)
family table (1)
fearlessness (1)
fighting (1)
fired (1)
first jobs (1)
forgetfullness (1)
friends (1)
friendship (1)
fun (1)
funny anecdotes (1)
games (1)
goals (1)
good examples (1)
goodness (1)
grace (1)
grin (1)
happy birthday (1)
happy hour (1)
health (1)
help (1)
helping others (1)
holiday (1)
holidays (1)
homosexuality (1)
house projects (1)
housework (1)
hugs (1)
humanity (1)
independence (1)
independent (1)
individual attention (1)
joy (1)
jumbled mind (1)
kid=stories (1)
kids cooking (1)
kids saving (1)
kis growing up (1)
labels (1)
last goodby (1)
laughter (1)
laundry anarchy (1)
lemons and lemonade (1)
less hate (1)
living outside box (1)
lonely (1)
mac and cheese (1)
magazine surveys (1)
maintenance free (1)
manuals (1)
may (1)
me time (1)
medication (1)
mediocre homemaker (1)
memories (1)
mental health (1)
merit badges (1)
middle school (1)
milestones (1)
milk (1)
miss you (1)
mom meetups (1)
mom support (1)
moms dating (1)
money (1)
moral support (1)
more love (1)
neighbors (1)
nervous mom (1)
networking (1)
new years eve (1)
normalcy (1)
not a hugger (1)
numbers (1)
okay with the world (1)
oldest daughter (1)
opportunities (1)
parenting (1)
parenting more than one (1)
people are people (1)
people watching (1)
personal finance (1)
pets (1)
picky eater (1)
plants (1)
play (1)
plays (1)
poetry (1)
raising children (1)
relief (1)
rough patches (1)
sacraments (1)
sad (1)
scaredy cat (1)
self improvement (1)
sick pets (1)
snow (1)
social (1)
social media (1)
spouse (1)
stars (1)
summer break (1)
surreal (1)
surveying life (1)
symmetry (1)
tadpoles (1)
talents (1)
teaching (1)
teen angst (1)
teen bully (1)
teens dating (1)
teens driving (1)
thanks (1)
the big picture (1)
thinking (1)
thoughts (1)
time (1)
tolerance (1)
too many things to do (1)
tooth fairy (1)
traditions (1)
travel (1)
turning sixteen (1)
tweens (1)
unexpected (1)
valentines (1)
village (1)
virtual life (1)
weekend home (1)
weight loss (1)
westport (1)
wood floors (1)
working together (1)
worry (1)
wrestling (1)
writing (1)