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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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Life lessons can be hard and none of us are immune to them. Some problems are minor; there is no pain involved, just a fleeting inconvenience. Others feel like they are driving a wedge into my soul. Sure I work past them, but it feels like an eternity. Luckily, once on the other side, I am only better for it, stronger and able to maneuver through the next lesson with a little more ease.
The only thing worse than muddling through my own life lessons is watching my teen tough it out and realizing that I have to let her grow. Mom can’t fix everything, only sit close by and be ready to comfort and encourage.
Shortly after the first of the year, my daughter turned sixteen. She didn’t wait too long to go job hunting, because she would be getting her license. My house rules include helping pay for car insurance and extras on the cell phones.
Hitting the pavement anymore means exploring the World Wide Web for jobs, since paper job applications are near-prehistoric. There was lots of applying, but nobody biting. School was almost over and still, no job.
Finally, on my way home from work, I saw a sign in front of a popular big-chain, fast food restaurant. I won’t name names, but they are my second choice stop for frozen, coffee goodness when money won’t allow for my first choice. The sign said, “Open Interviews on Tuesday, Five to Six o’clock”. What luck, it was Tuesday. As soon as I arrived home, plans were made. It was the perfect place to eat dinner on our way to our regular church gig that evening.
She interviewed, we ate and the next night she got the call. My daughter dreamed dollar signs. She looked forward to driving the car sitting in the driveway. My pocketbook was looking forward to being a little fuller.
She trained the first week for a four hour shift. The next two weeks, there was a four hour training shift each week after. Then there was nothing. No hours, despite her calls to see if she was scheduled and her requests to be put on the schedule. Another week, no hours and again she called and checked over and over, sometimes at my insistence, other times on her own. Another week they had her work and said she was done with training and she would be on the schedule, but there was nothing. The sign for open interviews was still sitting in the front of that restaurant.
This momma drove by that restaurant so many times, wanting to go in and tell them to be nice to my girl. I wanted them to treat her fairly, and to not string her along. In my heart I knew what they were doing and my Gracie was hurting bad, but I also knew that I had to let her learn on her own. I could only make suggestions.
I suggested she look for another job, and ask for hours. Ultimately, they said she had to do one more night of training. She did this, but came home in tears because she was slow and they were mad at her for it. She was ticked because she thought she would have been better had they worked her regularly. She may have told them this, but this day, I don’t know. When she called a few days later for her schedule she got the bad news.
Fired. No more job. I cried inside for her, wishing I could have done something, but I can’t change the way this restaurant works. We are practicing a personal ban from that particular site of the big chain, fast food restaurant. I can buy my frozen coffee drink from somewhere else.
As for a job, she is still looking. There is one out there, somewhere. She has grown from this experience, and she can take that growth and apply it wherever she ends up. As for me, I will cheer her on, no matter where she goes.
Lesson learned.
I hear you Mom! Our DD recently was told she had no shifts this week or next at a color coordinated accessories store. Why? She had worked there 18 months, had top sales, but was due a small bump in pay. So they hired someone else. Corporations only care about the bottom line not your kids feelings.DS turned 16 just after Christmas and got his license before school started back up in January. He really doesn't have a lot of expenses and we didn't push him to find a job right away. I did want him to get something regular for summer. He has been umpiring for BV rec since he was 14 so we all hoped he would atleast do that but I knew from previous experience he couldn't count of it. Then he started having health issues about the same time he should have been looking for a job. So the only thing he had going for him was BV rec, where he really wanted to be a field supervisor and ride around in a golf cart for several hours instead of standing around watching 3rd graders try to bat. As it turns out the they never scheduled him for field supervisor. He had a problem with the heat early on and had to leave one day. Since then, even after explaining his health problems to his boss he still schedules him 3 games on a Saturday in the middle of the day. He can't do it so he has to cancel and let someone else take the games. His boss won't schedule him night games during the week. It sucks but there is not a whole lot any of us can do. He has emailed his boss and explained but it hasn't done any good. I really want my husband to step in and talk to his boss about his hours but we can't do that. Dad helps him with wording communications to his boss but it has to come from DS. Yeah, I know what you mean. They are to old to hold their hand or do it for them, but still young enough to need some help. We just have to figure out when we need to be there and when to back off. In the meantime there always is the fall ball season and hopefully he can pick up more guitar lessons when school starts. I fear this summer is shot.My 16yo waited a little too late to apply for a summer job because she mis-read the requirements & thought she had to have a resume (even though others questioned her about that). I also tried to let her figure it out on her own, but it turns out that she thinks it is my fault that she didn't get that particular summer job.
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