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The kids get along, longer than like two seconds. Every mom’s dream, right? Well, at least this mom. I had visions of my two daughters, a couple of years apart, sharing secrets, giggling, shopping together. Helping each other with their homework. Then the boys, almost years apart, playing catch, wrestling with each other. Best friends.
On what planet?Four kids, four totally different personalities. Sometimes getting them to get along is like, well, going to the pantry and realizing all that is left to eat for dinner is a jar of jam, an onion, a can of tuna and toaster waffles. Hard for even a master chef to slam together for an edible meal. Is there any way to get them to work together, to make a delicious spread?
I watched my girls play together, getting along for the most part. Sure a little spat here and there. Normal. One wanted to cut the Barbie doll hair, the other did not. One wanted to play rough and tumble, the other not so much. But when they entered the tweens and into teens there was a seismic shift. One slept with the music on and a nightlight, the other had to have complete silence and dark. One loves “screamo-ish” types of music, the other, a little more pop and alternative. One is more likely to tell you how she feels (and loudly if necessary) while the other is a feeling stuffer. They didn’t want to be part of the same family, let alone best friends. I was pretty sure my dreams were squashed.
Wait…I had hope! The boys, maybe they would come through. Except, someone must blame the other when they lose on the Play Station. One loves camping while the other, well..not so much. Wrestling together? Not when one of the boys is uber-careful all of the time lest he get hurt. There will be no physical contact here. Just the super loud “Mom, He is cheating again!” or “Mom, he is on my side!” in the car. The concept of sharing seemed to fall into invisible black hole before they entered the house, never to be recovered again.
Sigh. Just see my dreams flying away, out the window. But..
Now, a few years later, the girls take an occasional trip to the mall together. Go see a music show together. Hang out with a mutual friend. Not best friends yet, but they tolerate each other. More often than not.
The other day my daughter Grace took some time out of her day, which had been filled with hours in the hot sun working in band camp, and gave her little brother clarinet lessons, no fighting, just sweet (almost) music.
My older son, who has a year longer under his Boy Scout belt than his younger brother, was giving him pointers on camp. Showing him how to use a padlock. Important stuff for a kid getting ready to enter middle school for the first time.
I am pretty sure that the yelling won’t go away anytime soon. Plenty of teen angst will enter and (hopefully) leave my home. But at least we are getting along. Sometimes. I like that.
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