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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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Today is the day before Christmas Eve, a very important day in our house. It started out pretty typical, the kids slept in on this first day of Christmas vacation and lazed around the house this morning. I had to run an errand, make a quick trip to the grocery store. Oldest daughter, who was at work, came home early sick and snuggled in bed for some much needed rest. Sometime after lunch though, some important work began.
The kids and I got down to business to bake a variety of cookies. Cookies, pretty normal, Christmas-y types of treats. Treats that the kids are wrapping and giving their dad tomorrow night when we make a trip to their grandparents house to see him for Christmas Eve. Cookies they carefully measured ingredients for and neatly placed in a container that they decorated with wrapping paper. Cookies that they tasted , because everyone knows there has to be some “quality control”. Treats that got a resounding thumbs up from everyone in the house.
This is the second year we have done this. Last year when I was surveying gift lists I became very stumped about what to give my ex-husband for Christmas. I guess one has to understand the history, which is long and I won’t bore anyone with the details. The gist of the story is that he wasn’t around many years after we were divorced and I didn’t always know where he was, so gifts were not exchanged for the holidays. Then, a few years ago, he came back to the Kansas City area. The kids still don’t see him much, but Christmas is usually a given. I will pack the kids up in the car and take them to celebrate Christmas with his family. I am a part of that family, no matter how uncomfortable it is sometimes to be in the same room with him. I do it because I want the kids to see that no matter what has happened, sometimes we have to hold our heads high and do the right thing. It isn’t always easy. Knowing what to get him for Christmas wasn’t easy either, because I really don’t know him well. I thought I did, but we are not the same people anymore. My kids didn’t really know what to get him. The thought popped into my mind. Cookies! The kids, my own little cookie monsters, loved it. So the day before Christmas Eve we set forth to make cookies. The sugar kind, with pretty icing and one heart-shaped cookie decorated just for their dad. He had enough to share with his friends where he lives, hopefully passing on the holiday cheer.
They went over well. So today, we churned out three types of cookies. Peanut butter, chocolate chip and oatmeal scotchies. I found some therapy in blending the dough. I spent time on and off during the year having hard feelings towards him, especially when money was tight and I thought about the support he wasn’t paying. The times when I felt like I was being pulled in all directions and I thought about how he doesn’t ever offer emotional support or ask how the kids are doing in school. I don’t think about these things all of the time, in fact it gets a little less every year.
So while the kids are already thinking about what kind of cookies they might next year for their dad, I am thinking about that trip to their grandparents house tomorrow night. How I am going to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I am going to take another step in healing and show my kids how no matter what, kindness pays.
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