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I will not be late for school. I will not be late for school. I will not be late for school ...
889 ViewsThe letter from my son’s school came Wednesday, the day I had to work late and came home a little cranky. (Not the day you want to have a letter from school.)
The letter didn’t come in “backpack mail” like most letters do. Someone cared enough to put a stamp on it and actually put it in the mail. Immediately, I knew this wasn’t a good sign.
I get nervous. And while I’m reading it my son is trying like the dickens to think what he could have done to warrant a note from school.
Was it because he was talking the other day during social studies? Did the P.E. teacher sense he threw a ball in Dodge ball out of anger instead of fun? This boy was sweating, his cheeks red. Gotta say it was a little entertaining hearing him rattle off all the possibilities, none of them bad enough to earn a letter home.
I soon realized though that the poor kid hadn’t done anything at all. It was me.
Wow. Here I am, Miss Never-Ever-Got-in Trouble during all 12 years of school getting called out by the principal when I'm 37! I gotta admit I was a little stunned.
The letter informed me that my lovely son has been tardy seven times this semester. (thank you for gasping, makes me feel all that much better…)
As I read on, my eyes widened and I must admit my temper started to flare a bit. The principal used italics. She said I was putting my son at a disadvantage. Did I mention I was already cranky?
If I hadn’t been cranky I may not have reacted the crazy way I did when I read the words, “Thanks for making an effort to ensure” my son is on time in the future.
Oh great, she thought for the past three months I hadn’t been making an effort. I was the mom who didn’t care. (You must know by now I’m a little bit of an overreacter.)
I stood there speechless, so my son started reading over my shoulder. There were a little more than 100 words in the letter and it seems he had only comprehended one - Detention.
Yes, that’s right, his lovely mother was three tardies away from landing him in detention.
Please tell me other moms are late. That you too get caught up with breakfast, nudging the kids along, getting dressed, spending a few minutes with the kid who's staying home while the one late for school is spending an awfully long time brushing his teeth. These things take time.
As I'm rereading the letter Wednesday night, I hear my son mumbling things under his breath as he passed through the dining room. He's not too happy with me. And I'm still obsessed.
“She used italics. … She said I was putting him at a disadvantage,” I screeched at my husband (who was watching the entire scene with a bemused look on his face) before turning to my son. “Do you feel at a disadvantage?
He assured me he didn’t, but the next morning, he had showered and dressed by 7 a.m. and instead of waiting for me to make him cheese eggs he fixed himself a bowl of cereal. This lovely child had brushed his teeth, gathered up his things and was waiting to walk out the door by 7:15, nearly an hour before we ever leave the house.
He did the same thing Friday.
The poor kid didn’t want it to be his fault. He was trying.
And he wasn’t the only one. I’ve been setting my alarm clock earlier and on the day my hair wasn’t working, I went ahead and took him before going back to the house to finish up. I can proudly say he hasn’t been late to school since we received the letter. (OK, just two school days.)
I may no longer be the early bird to work anymore, but hey, at least my kid won’t land in detention.
Looks like the italics worked.
You are SO not alone. Mine ride the bus and (bless her heart) has sat and waited 5 minutes for M to get ready. He went back to bed after breakfast. And I know a 10 yr old should know better, but some days I'm tempted to dress him myself!! I'm always sending him back to change. Why does he always pick the jeans that are to small, gapeing holes in the knees or the "flood" pants? He has a ton of good jeans! I guess it's time for me to clean his closet.There have definately been some years of school that we have been in that catergory. Some phases of your life are just harder in the a.m. than others. It's a bit harsh to say that you are putting your son at a disadvantage because he is a couple minutes late 7 times in a semester...I could understand if it was every day or quite frequently...but 7 days?Let's be thrilled that this is the worst of his offenses. Statistically he's probably okay for this year-- school will be out soon and it's easier to get up when the sun is up already -- but poor kid if he lands in detention! " What are you in for?" " cheese eggs." " throwing them?" " No waiting for mom to make them." Pretty low on the offense totum pole. LOLI'm going to have to disagree that the school was being harsh. A classroom full of kids is distracting enough without someone walking in late. Showing up late shows disrespect, just like talking in class, not doing assignments, or throwing food.Well, it probably was a form letter that kicked in when he had x number of tardies. But that doesn't make you feel any better, I'm sure. Maybe now your son will hurry up in the morning so you don't have to nag! My son almost missed the bus two times last week, and that lit a fire under his seat...I wouldn't sweat it. Here is my take on it. First of all, we all get caught up in the hustle and bustle of every day life. We ALL have somewhere to be or something to do. We all have a goal and have responsibilities. The principals goal and responsibility is to make sure the students are getting thier school and education needs met and that rules are being followed. Your goal (i'm assuming) is to make sure your son is raised to be a happy healthy successful human being. There are a lot of ways to achieve this. But from where i'm standing, as a mother, my view of things is a little different then the principals. I love that she cares that your son is "at a disadvantage", or whatever she said, but thats not the case. I HATE to fill my mornings with hurry and worry about being late and worrying about my day and my childs day, etc. I like to fill my mornings, and my childs mornings with attention, love etc. I'm sorry, but I work in a business where I witness people's lives being taken from them everyday, and thier families lives being altered in the matter of seconds. This effects me. This causes me to lose that whole follow the rules mentality, when it comes to certain things. And being late to school is one of them. Hurrying to drop my kid off at school in the drive up line is another one of them. If I want to take an extra second...an extra minute....hell, an extra 30 minutes to tell my family/daughter how much I love them in the morning.......then I'm GONG TO. I'm sorry, but at my funeral, I don't want my daughter to remember how we were always on time for school. Or how I got her out of my car the quickest so that other people could continue to be in a hurry on the days she was dropped off at school via the circle drive drop off line. I certainly don't want her to remember my face scolding her to hurry up. I want her to remember how I always took the time to hug her, make her a good breakfast, talk with her over breakfast about her upcoming day, etc. Sure we could wake up earlier to do that, but you know, if we are late because we didn't wake up at the proper time to allow us to do it, then sorry.....but she's gonna be late. And i'll be damned if they're gonna give her detention for it either. At least I know that if I should die later in the day, that she knows I took the time to love her and didn't have to yell at her because she was going to be late, or that she's moving slowly this morning, or whatever reason there is to get mad at her. I won't go out yelling at her to hurry up and get ready so she can get to school. Her last memory of me won't be of me mad at her. And vice versa if god forbid things be the other way around. This issue is just so small to me compared to so many other things.I'm kindof a cross between everyone here. I have found that if I already know we're going to be late, then I ease up. What's the point of getting all hyped up? You get a tardy on your record, regardless of whether your 5 minutes late, or 30 minutes late. So, yes, as opposed to yelling at everyone to hurry up when the clock is looming, I just take it in stride, and often we don't end up being late afterall. However, I disagree with risarenee when she says she won't allow the school to give her daughter detention. I know that being late isn't a big deal to some, and that's okay, but there are also consequences to actions. And if your child is late too many times, even if it's because you're giving them loves and hugs, there is still a consequence that needs to be paid out. You weigh the circumstance and make a decision. Myself? I think it's rude to be late, and a child IS at a disadvantage if they're missing the first 20 minutes of math class all the time.I got a form letter from school when my son was in kindergarten. For truancy! Ha! He had his tonsils out, missed a week of school. And the school knew it was an excused absence b/c I worked at the school!Okay, I'm not anal about too much, but something about getting them to school on time... yep. Anal as heck about it. Partly because (and this is no lie) if you get them there late you have to bring them in and sign them in with an excuse and, okay, I'll say it, I'm not always completely assembled in the morning (read: haven't always gotten to the bra stage of dressing yet). The last thing I want is to parade around in that school in my jammies, bra-less, with crazy hair and no makeup. My kids are the ones waiting at the door before it officially opens. The letter probably would've had me in meltdown mode. DH, on the other hand, figures if they get there at any point before lunch they're on time. If I left it up to him in the mornings they'd be late every day. But, then again, he doesn't even wear a bra. :D Don't sweat it -- you're getting him there, and if being tardy is his worse offense, you must be doing something right!Sounds like your son is getting breakfast and getting his rest and from ACTUAL STATISTICS on school prepardness I think I read that going to school WITHOUT breakfast and not getting enough sleep is what really puts kids at a DISADVANTAGE, no?Nice blog.. you are sooo not alone.. I'm never on time. Bo's daycare starts art stuff at 9 a.m.... I'm never there. Don't feel bad. Tell the principal to shove it up her.... ... nevermind. :)I didn't get the letter from the school - but I did get my kids nagging me about them being tardy. They walk when the weather is nice - what I felt badly about was them having to walk home in the rain last week because I didn't realize it was coming down in Lenexa and I work downtown and couldn't get there in time to get them. Ugh.Don't worry about it - I got truancy letters for two of my kids this year. They have been sick so much this year - one had bronchitis for 2 weeks - even though I had excuses from dr's I still got the letters - I do think they are form letters that kick out after a certain time.I'm still smiling because your preteen son got himself up and dressed, and fixed himself breakfast an hour before having to leave. How awesome is that? Don't let the form letter freak you out too much. They gotta figure out some way to get the message across, but couldn't the principle call and check to make sure things are going ok? Couldn't she say she was wondering if there were a problem that he couldn't get to school on time instead of jumping to "disadvantage" and "detention?" The latter is ridiculous, I think, to punish a kid for something potentially out of his control! Maybe there are THAT many kids late and she can't call them all, but some consideration would be nice when chastising parents, yes? :)
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