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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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Out of all the crazy and negative ads, some insightful ones, too, and
the glossy cards jammed in my mailboxes and nutty rhetoric on social
media, one message stood out during this election.(No, it wasn’t anything about or from Todd Akin. Just in case you were wondering.)
It was a post on a Facebook friend’s page. One of those photos with a
message. It read: “What children of single mothers might look like.”The words were typed under a photo of Presidents Bill Clinton and
Barack Obama. And I must admit, the image choked me up a bit.Not because of politics. Not because I favor either man (being a
journalist, I won’t type my political preference here or anywhere –
never a good practice) and not because the message was meant to counteract
something Gov. Mitt Romney said in the second presidential debate. Something about single moms and gun control, I think. I must admit I didn’t pay much attention at that point.No, I choked up at the image because years ago my oldest was the son of a single mom. And more than once I wondered if he’d turn out all right.
I remember how tough it was back then. How he spent too many hours in a Springfield,Mo., newsroom while I worked on deadline. How most of the other boys had a dad at Cub Scout meetings and he just had me (his dad has moved out of town by then, and the four- hour drive on a school night wasn’t feasible). And how some nights, after he’d finally fallen asleep, were really, really quiet. That’s when it was easy to worry if everything was going to be OK.
There was also a little stigma. Never will forget the day another mom was talking about a boy in our sons’ Kindergarten class. That boy was a little energetic. Not one to sit in his seat for all long as he should. Or do work as quickly as he should. I found him charming. Others, I guess didn’t.
“You know,” I remember the one mom told me as she, for some reason, started to whisper. “His mom isn’t married. She’s a single mom.”
That fact, to her, somehow explained the boy’s behavior.
I just nodded my head. I guess my son acted like a kid with two parents at home or something. Or maybe the woman thought I just left the wedding ring on my dresser that morning.
Still don’t understand why I didn’t speak up that day, why I didn’t defend that woman or her son. I guess I just didn’t know what to say back then. Today I would.
I’d tell the lady that that single mom (who I knew pretty well and would watch her son when she had to be out of town for work) was doing a heckuva job. I’d say that she and her son had a wonderful bond and they’re doing just fine.
It’s funny. There’s nothing that brings two people together, especially a parent and child I think, more than when they feel it’s the two of them against the world.
Oldest and I had our own language back then. We’d watch the same Disney movies over and over and never get bored. We’d tune in to Everybody Loves Raymond and laugh and laugh every time Frank made a bodily noise or said, “Holy Crap!” And when we moved to another state for another job, we were both a little nervous. New job, new school. But to this day, when we talk about that time, we both say, “Remember when it was just you and me?”
Of course we LOVE our life now, with husband and youngest, and wouldn’t trade that for anything. It’s just good to remember that we somehow managed OK by ourselves when we had to.
So when I saw that picture of Bill and Barack, I didn’t really think about them. No, I thought about their moms. And how years and years ago, they had their moments when they thought it was them and their boys against the world. Maybe they were the only moms at Cub Scout meetings and worried that everything would be OK.
And those two boys seemed to have turned out Ok, with good jobs and everything.
That comment made in that one debate ruffled my feathers a great deal. I have been a single parent for a long time and sure things are rough, but they haven't been totin' guns down the street yet. Plenty of people out there turning out great with single moms (or dads).
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