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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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But let me say this about myself, I was pretty darn proud of how I handled the whole thing.
Anyone who knows me knows I have a tendency to overreact. Case in point, a ball of dust swirls across the floor in the laundry room, I scream, holler that we have mice and jump up on the washing machine. I continue all the screaming until someone comes in and investigates.
I’ve also been known to give a few lectures and parent according to the latest horrible, brutal and unthinkable crime that’s in the news. Bully incidents get fire-and-brimstone sermons. I also lay out scenarios for oldest and ask him what he would do in such a case. And you don’t even want to know how nutty I get after a child is kidnapped. Hell, oldest wasn’t allowed to ride his bike around the neighborhood by himself until he was 13 or 14. To this day, I think he feels like I’m going to send a police escort out with him when he heads out to shoot baskets at the park, which is basically around the corner from our house.
So my friends could only imagine what I would do when oldest became a licensed driver in the state of Kansas. Sit down with him and watch those crazy teen driving films? Give him a test myself before the one he had to take for the state? Surely I would go ballistic with the sermons, on how to never drink and drive, how to always keep his hands at 10 and 2. And then lay down the rules. No cell phones (that’s a given), no friends, no music, no chewing gum. (Haven’t you ever heard that saying, he can’t chew gum and walk at the same time??? I just figure those are words to live by when your teen starts driving…)
But I did good, as they say. I stayed up the night before the test and helped him study. I didn’t freak when he missed the first four in a row. I didn’t lecture when he didn’t know you can only pass on the left. I just played teacher.
And when he passed the written, and the driving, I was crazy happy. OK, well, I did tear up at my desk when he called. But he was so proud, I just wiped my eyes pretty quickly. The rest of the day, I told everyone I know. Texted those who don’t live here. Then at night, we went out to celebrate.
“We’re here to have a celebration,” youngest told the waitress at Red Lobster. “My big brother got his license.”
So cute.
My excitement and laid-backedness has continued and hasn’t been interrupted by my neurotic behavior. Until last night.
The minute I heard a teenager from my son’s high school died in a car crash, I freaked. The information about what happened is preliminary at this point, but there are enough details to make any parent go insane. Three friends out driving around at night, having fun. The passenger, a 17-year-old boy, was reportedly hanging out the window. The car goes off the roadway. The young man dies; two girls, including the driver, are injured.
It’s what has worried me for years. When teens hang out, it's easy for them to get distracted. My lovely son does so when he’s sitting on the couch eating chips. I can’t imagine what it will be like when he's behind the wheel and his friends are listening to music and talking. (Imagine how I freaked I was the day my oldest was practicing his driving before he got the license and admitted he couldn’t focus very well because he had just eaten. … Uh, I told him, you likely will have to drive one day after you’ve eaten. I mean, how in the heck are you going to get home from a restaurant????)
I’m sure I’ll spend some time today reading everything I can about the weekend crash, as well as saying some prayers for the kids and families involved.
I’ll reread everything and then prepare my lecture. It’s just what I do.
I can so totally relate to this! My twin teenagers are going through drivers ed now (about 1 yr later than the rest of their friends) & I'm still on edge about the thought of them driving by themselves. My daughter does a little better than son, but son, oh my, he has blown through stop signs, red lights, driven too close for comfort to parked cars .... you name it. He starts drivers ed this week. Daughter is almost finished with her driving part & she tells me the instructor intentionally does things to distract & intentionally gives them incorrect directions to see if they are paying attention to signs. We'll see how son does. There is another course that occasionally comes to KC that teaches defensive driving. They were not here this summer, but when they return, my kids are going.Hearing of that accident on the news brought tears to my eyes. Teenagers are so vulnerable and just want to have a good time, no matter what might happen. They don't think it could happen to them. i do think the driving classes sound like a great idea. Keep talking to him and plant angels on his shoulders when you pray for his safety.This is so hard for every parent....you really aren't that different. My son was not allowed to have any passengers with him OR ride with anyone for some time after eating his license. Even after I loosened up he knew he was never to ride with a new driver until I OK'd it. I'm sure he might have broken the rules....what kid doesn't, but for the most part I want to believe he did it. I also kept a pretty curfew on him and gave him the ultimatum that I must know where you are and if you leave there I must get a call. He did that faithfully. He complained some but knew it wasn't a changing issue for me and we could all stay home if he wanted to test it. I will also tell you...it takes a lot of praying and you stay up until you get that call or they come home. It's just being "mom". Bless you all as you transition into this new phase.First of all given the types of articles you write for The Star it is no wonder you would tend to be a little over protective. You always seem to get the stories that are really heart wrenching. Glad I didn't read anything about a boy getting killed in a car wreck about the time my 16 yr old got his license just this last Christmas. I think it does help that in KS kids aren't officially licensed to drive anywhere with anybody until they have had their license for 6 months. It goes into effect automatically at 6 months from the day they get their license so nobody has to do anything. My son's 6 months pasted without anyone even realizing it. We always amaze ourselves with how well we can deal with our kids growing up.Just heard an NPR story about teen driving today. They interviewed a mom who said she made sure her son had every opportunity to drive in every weather/traffic condition with her in the passenger seat each time. Hard to let them drive in a snowstorm or bad traffic when they are new at driving, but important. I hope to remember this in 5 years when my oldest is 16. Scary and exciting!
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