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mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
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Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
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Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
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I mean I felt kind of cool when oldest picked out these bamboo swords to buy at the mall and gave me his best “Are you freakin’ kidding me?” look when I said he could use his own money to buy them. Again, cool, when youngest said “Mom, those are so neat, you’re the best mom ever.” Even a kid in the store looked over and gave what I thought was a pretty envious look. (I felt like saying, “Yeah, I know, I’m pretty cool. Thanks for noticing.” But thankfully I just smiled.)
Then, within 90 seconds at the counter, talking to the clerk who always truly seems to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING, I became suspicious. What exactly were these bamboo swords with leather grips and a leather tip I was giving the big consent for? They looked just like the nerf swords the boys have at home, only sturdier. They felt like the Nerf ones, only a little heavier, more expensive.
Oldest has always liked all things sword or weapon-related. He loves a good duel. For years I’ve felt guilty about not signing him up for Karate or Fencing or something with good ole’ fashioned face offs.
So, why not some good-quality swords that he can practice technique with? He can do some pretty amazing things with a white plastic tube that twirls and cuts through the air. Just imagine what he could accomplish with one of these swords. (You know, I keep saying sword, but there’s no knife to it, it’s just bamboo that looks like a light saber, only no light. And did I mention the leather grips?)
Yeah, I felt like a cool mom.
Until the all knowledgeable clerk started talking. Answering questions.
“Can you fight with these?” oldest asks. “Will they hold up or crack if my brother and I sword fight?”
No, clerk says. These are the good ones. The bamboo will only get stronger, he says. And then he dives deeper into his knowledge.
“These are strong weapons,” he says.
Uh, weapons? I’m still thinking high quality Nerf bamboo. Oldest of course is getting excited.
“These things could probably kill someone,” the clerk says as he runs his fingers down the bamboo.
Excuse me. Back up to the word kill.
“What exactly do you mean?” I ask. Not sure what the heck my question even meant.
I suddenly feel like uncool mom. I’m no longer feeling so good about giving the big consent. Now I feel like a crazy paranoid mom who’s standing there in a music store for goodness sake – why in the world does a music store have bamboo swords anyway? -- picturing one of our boys bloodied and beaten, all because I let oldest buy two $20 play weapons.
“But, they can be used just for play, right?” I ask the clerk. “You know, for the two of them to fence around?”
Clerk nods yes. Sure, he says.
“But they are strong enough to actually kill someone, if you hit someone hard,” he says, throwing one last punch at my gut.
Ok. Ok. I get it.
Right there I look at oldest. He knows what I’m thinking.
“Mom, they’re just for play. I promise.”
Youngest pipes in: “We won’t use them very hard.”
Channeling my cool side and not my paranoid one, I allow the purchase to go through.
Oldest is a good kid. I know this. I trust this.
But that lovely clerk, the one who knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING, is determined to drive me insane.
“You might want to leave these here why you do more shopping,” he says. “The security guards don’t allow them in the mall. They’re too dangerous.”
Oh for heaven’s sake.
Well, I think you are cooler than me, because I probably would have made him put them back once I found out they could hurt someone. Maybe, I don't know. It is funny how we change as our kids grow older, as we grow older. I have never bought play guns, etc. but when we cruised my teenager daugher bought a jade letter opener. And yes, it could kill someone if used the wrong way. Even the security on the boat held it until the day we left, and then we had to put it in our checked luggage. I haven't heard of any murder by jade letter openerer in Blue Springs lately, so we must be good. Then their is our first war video game purchase made this year. A whole other story. This whole mom thing is just one whole progression, isn't it?I'm dying to know what they are. Never heard of anything like it. Are they really more different than picking up 2 sticks in the yard? More dangerous than dueling with branches?I'm dying to know what they are. Never heard of anything like it. Are they really more different than picking up 2 sticks in the yard? More dangerous than dueling with branches?I would have said no. A few years ago we let DS buy an air gun. It was actually a rifle and pistol. Can't really hurt anyone. You would think he would know the rules and just use it for target practice in the back yard. They eneded up just sitting on a shelf for a while and I forgot about them. Then one day while a friend was over they took them out to the drive way where they dicided to follow two younger kids a little ways up the street. Next thing I know OPPD is in my driveway. Appartently one of the other kids told his mom about the guns and mom called the police. So you never know. HyJack Laura, I sent you a FB friend request a couple of weeks ago, never heard back. It dawned on me you wouldnt have known it was from me since FB is my real name.That would be Jennie Sindak. Send that back if you can, I would love to read more of what you write than what is in the paper and on M2M.
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