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Emily Parnell
on May 25 2013 - 06:00 AM
Do you want something great to happen? You better start doing something.
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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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That’s the beginning of the lecture I found myself giving oldest yesterday. From morning to night, I was ranting and raving. About the evils of the Internet, about how my parents never had it this bad. About how nothing is “just between friends” anymore. And of course, I continued to reiterate all of this as I told him to never, ever let friends take pictures of him doing something stupid. Again.
Oh yeah, yesterday wasn’t the best day. Pretty awful really. It started with a call from my sister (who lives on the East Coast, an important detail for later). “Did you see my text?” she asked.
I hadn’t. So as she talked, I grabbed the phone and read it. What do you mean there are pictures on Facebook with oldest doing something “naughty?” I loved how she used that word. I wasn’t quite sure what naughty meant in this instant, but it seemed like a cool word.
Until, that is, I stood behind oldest has he logged onto Facebook. There it was, him doing something suggestive (and incredibly stupid) near a statue of a Gorilla at Worlds of Fun. A friend of his took it Saturday as oldest hung out with friends (for about 15 hours) at the amusement park. She apparently put it on Facebook shortly after getting home, and tagged oldest’s name. Voila, shared with hundreds in an instant.
Looking at the image, I gasped. Yelled for husband, who often calms me down during times like this. He always seems to downplay things I find over-the- top, or just plain bad. But, trouble is, he took one look at the photo and said, “Oahhhh.” Not in a good way. Translated that means, even for husband, the photo went too far. Of course it went too far. I felt like it was straight out of The Hangover.
I don't know if I was more upset that my son seems to do anything for a laugh (remember the whole pulling down his pants in Kindergarten to get a few chuckles?) or that hundreds of people could be waking up and wincing at a photo of my lovely son, doing something that most moms would gasp at.
And all I could think was all his friends (and my friends) viewing the photo. My MIL. Colleagues. Mortified, to say the least.
Of course my sister saved the day. She walked him through how to "untag" himself and within a minute or two, the photo vanished. Remember when I said she lives on the east coast? Well, she called at 10 a.m., which was 9 here. So basically if someone saw it, they’ve have to have been on Facebook between midnight and 9. Oh did I pray that people slept in.
I still don’t know all the ins and out of Facebook, so I’m not sure who in the world saw the photo of oldest being a teenager, one with little sense at that moment. But man, it has me over the edge. We’re trying to give him more freedom, to go to Worlds of Fun for the day, with friends, and trust him more. But the first long day with no adults? Yeah, a Facebook photo of him doing something “naughty.” Nice.
For the record, oldest felt horrible. He cleaned his bathroom, bedroom, helped his little brother with some homework and offered to rake leaves. Man, a guilty clean conscious can give you a pretty clean house.
And throughout the day, I continued the lecture. What if it stayed up all day? I asked. What if people downloaded it and passed it around? And a teacher saw it?
In this new world, of Internet and Facebook, where people no longer need a printed photo to pass around to dozens of people, anybody can see anything.
“No matter where you are,” I told him, “realize that we’re only a few feet away. We can watch your every move.
“Don’t do anything you’d be embarrassed by, or in big trouble, if your lovely mother was a few feet away.”
Good advice, don’t you think?
This probably won't be the first time and sometimes you should let humiliation be the teacher. My son posted a comment containing a curse word and several of my friends jumped him "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Also, he is involved in an honor choir and the conductor told them to watch what is posted on FB. He listened to her a million times more than he would listen to me. Most adults know kids do stupid stuff but I believe in letting life teach the lesson (unless it contains bullying, nudity, porno).YIKES! Um, maybe I misunderstood, but just untagging takes his name off of it, it doesn't take the picture down. It's probably still on the page of the original poster, as well as anyone who shared it. I kind of like the Jesus Test. If you saw Jesus standing next to you, would you do that? ( Maybe "Grandma" or "The Girl he Has A Crush On"). Bottom line, no one should put ANYTHING on the internet that they wouldn't be comfortable getting out to the general population. Yeah, it's a painful lesson alright.I would have him ask the original poster to delete the image. What I find interesting with FB is that you have to get the "okay" for a relationship change or adding a family member; however, you don't have to get permission to be tagged in a photo. Yes, you can untag after it has been seen; however, that may be too late.
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