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I’ve learned an important lesson this past weekend. Very important.
You can tell jokes about yourself, poke fun as much as you want. Husband is even fair game. Maybe even friends.
But don’t ever -- and I mean ever -- tell a joke about your kids around a table of people who don’t have any.
I’ll tell you why in a minute. First a little disclaimer.
For as long as I’ve been a mom I vowed to never be one who bragged like crazy about her children. I know I always repeat words of my late, sainted grandmother, but they're so good they’re word saying over and over. “If you’re good at something, don’t tell anybody. If you’re really good, they’ll tell you.”
Same goes for children in my book. (Unless it’s to family, you can brag all you want to them.)
But at times I think I may go too far the other way to not be the bragging mother.
I tell jokes. Talk about a lighter side of parenting. And almost always the moms in the group laugh and laugh and then join in. It’s fun. Never serious. Never for real.
The thing is, they are moms. They know that joking is just part of it.
Yet this past weekend, I was around a ton of friends, former co-workers, I hadn’t seen in years. Many of them don’t have kids.
And I’m sure they went home thinking I’m an insane mom who doesn’t think much of parenting or her children. Horrible. But it’s my own fault.
“We’re a little worried about the youngest,” I told the five women as I my husband sat across from me nodding in agreement. “He doesn’t seem to have a conscious.”
Two women gasped in horror.
“Laura, that’s a horrible thing to say,” one of them said.
These are wonderful women. Kind and caring. Successful and fun. But I think they’re used to moms bragging profusely about their children. My style is a little off putting, I’m guessing.
So, I stammered a bit. Tried to explain how he sometimes hits the dog and doesn’t care. That we’re trying to break him of this habit and show him that his actions have repercussions.
And then, when the looks of disbelief on their faces rattled me, I go for another joke.
“We’re just worried we may have to visit him in juvie one day.”
Why. Can’t. I. Just. Stop?????
The other three who didn’t respond the first time gasped a little louder than the first two did.
“That’s horrible,” one said. “It’s like you think your son is going to be a serial killer.”
OK. Serial killers aren’t funny. I would never joke about that. And I don’t really think I’m going to visit either boy in juvie. I was just joking. Just a little humor.
Of course I think both boys are the most perfect, loving and caring two youngsters I’ve ever known. Hearts of my heart. (You all are like family, right?)
I just like to joke. But then I can’t help but be paranoid.
For the rest of the day I kept bringing the conversation back up and telling them how I was just kidding.
Then I broke my rule and told over and over how great both of them are.
The whole thing just exhausted me.
So repeat after me, "Don’t ever -- and I mean ever -- tell a joke about your kids around a table of people who don’t have any."
That is too funny! I joke about my kid, too, so I totally get it. I can see how if someone didn't have kids, they wouldn't think it was funny.I know exactly what you mean!!! Today my children were acting like heathens in the grocery store and I offered to trade the cashier, them for my groceries. She just looked mortified, and I was totally kidding. People are just so serious sometimes!!!!Ha ha! I do the same thing-- it's the drama I go for, to create some excitement. It definitely is a parent thing, and, even then, they can't be too new to parenting. I've mortified my new-mom neighbor when we first moved in. Sabella511, the grocery store story was funny, too! Some people are so literal, aren't they?People need a sense of humor, huh? I totally get it. I have a co-worker that thinks it is terrible that I told my son he is tone-deaf (she has never heard him sing!) and told my daughter she would never make it through boot camp (she doesn't know my daughter as well as I do!) My kids know I love them and I am joking! My kids are wonderful and talented and completely, 100 percent human!
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