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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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I can handle any number of imaginery friends you throw at me. They can be boys, girls, even a piece of wood. (Yeah, oldest watched too much Ed, Edd and Eddie about a decade ago and had his very own “Plank” best friend). But an imaginery mom? Another mom who apparently is funnier and nicer and more caring? Don’t sign me up for that one. Really.
Yet, it seems youngest already has. Meet Mr. Tooter and Mr. Fendi. That is my lovely four-year-old’s other mother. And yes, I realize that one imaginery woman has the name of two men. It’s called creativity.
Anyway, youngest throws this at me Friday night. My mother-in-law and I were having a night at home with the little guy as his dad and brother were out doing their own thing.
“I have another mother,” youngest says. “She lets me go to the park whenever I want, even when it’s dark outside. She lets me stay up late and eat a Swiss Roll (of Little Debbie fame) for breakfast.
"Nice," I say to myself. To which then I started the chant, “Don’t overreact. Don’t overreact." And, “must not act upset."
“And my other mom bought me this,“ he says holding up a toy with dolphins and fish inside.
“Um, excuse me, “I say, interrupting this little show and tell of the magnificent Mr. Tooter and Mr. Fendi.
“But I bought that toy for you. You know, “Mama Laura."
He wouldn’t have any of it. His other mother bought him this toy. Just as she cleans his clothes, helps in his room and makes dinner.
“But I do all those things,” I pleaded.
Nope, he said. “Not like her.”
The more I kept trying to compete with the imaginery “Mr. Tooter and Mr. Fendi,” the more I failed. She does everything just a little bit better.
Then, at one point, youngest gets sad as he begins to share just one more thing about his other mother.
“She’s really nice, but she died,” he said, eager to spit out that a bully flushed her down the toilet.
So here I was with my son creating an imaginery mother, someone who did all the things I wouldn’t, or just did them better, and now she’s gone. My mother-in-law and I were a mixture of confused, fascinated and impressed. Gotta admit there’s a lot of creativity there.
I say to her that youngest has never brought up Mr. Tooter and Mr. Fendi before. Don’t know where this is coming from, I tell her, laughing. Youngest hears this and answers: “I was saving it until Grandma got here.”
Nice, wonder what other suprises he has in store? She’s here until next weekend.
In the meantime, I’m wracking my brain about all the things I can do better than Mr. Tooter and Mr. Fendi. Wish me luck.
I'm laughing about the name, but he does sound very imaginative. That will probably serve him well in the future!My husband's aunt had an imaginary friend named Deter. He was a 35-year-old man. I think that's why creepier than having another Mom imaginary friend...Mr. Tooter and Mr. Fendi have also written better and funnier blogs. If I were you, Mom Laura, I'd have an "imaginary kid", just to keep things even. LOLBrilliant, as usual! If she is ever resurrected, tell him how happy you are to let her do the chores, but to please reserve the hugs for you. That's the only job you want. Might also use it to get him to do something... "Well, I was talking with Mr. Toot and Mr. Fendi and he said you should eat your veggies first." I'm guessing a kid that creative won't go for it, but worth a try. Thank goodness you have this blog to record stuff like this! (And, Kate Beem, I agree with the creep factor of Deter.)
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