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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
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on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
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This is when I do my best nerd impression and jet my hand into the air shouting at the teacher, “Oooh, Ooooh, I know the answer.”
They’re boys. Plain and simple. All they have to do is hear a sound that just may have come from out of someone’s body (including their own) and they giggle like crazy. Then they try to imitate it, first with their mouths or if that doesn’t work, they stick their hand under their arm pit and flap like wild.
Awww. Boys. Got three of them at home, two little, one big. Hell, even the dog is a he. And they never tire of the gassy fun. But do I have to pay for it? Should I shell out cash to buy man-made trinkets and toys that, basically, make those noises that the body makes for free (yes, that’s gross, sorry).
Friends say no. And the boys’ grandma says no. If you don’t like when they make the noises, why buy something that allows them to do it all the time? That’s their take. Good points.
But here’s my counter: These noises, real or manufactured, make our little 4-year-old boy so deliriously happy that he falls over laughing. Literally.
(Buy them, right?)
I mean we spent 20 minutes in Target the other day, just pushing and repushing the button on “Stinky” the garbage truck. Not only does he eat cars and “dump” them out, he apparently has a lot of indigestion and gas.
(I know, don’t buy it.)
Youngest just laughed and laughed. “We gotta push it again,” he says, tears welling in his eyes because he was laughing so hard.
And it’s just not Stinky. Anytime the Zhu Zhu pet commercial comes on, the one when “Stinker” the black-and-white hamster turns the corner and a green cloud comes out, he laughs and laughs and screams my name. He thinks I need to see it. AGAIN.
(Buy them, right?)
But it’s just not Stinky and Stinker. Somewhere along the line, we inherited (possibly purchased?) a small plastic container of goo. It’s whole purpose on this earth is for you to swish it down in its case and make loud and obnoxious, very realistic, noises.
Big hit at our house.
So, should Santa buy more? Right now, I say yes. (Mainly because Stinker already sits in my closet hidden away. But let me say that I only bought it after I discovered that Stinker is really a skunk and he’s spraying, not gassing. That makes a difference.)
But Stinky, that’s another question. It's No. 1 on youngest's list. My heart says yes, my inner voice says no.
I don’t want the boys to play with guns so I don’t buy them. I don’t want oldest to break the law so he can’t play Grand Theft Auto. Don't want them to pass gas willy nilly and laugh like crazy when they do, so don't buy Stinky, right? (Say wrong, say wrong.)
Oh toy makers, why do you have to torture us so?
You are right, they are boys. That is what boys do. I figure, as long as they are not doing it in church, on their first date and hopefully when they are not on their first job interview. Hoping and praying!!!Maybe if they can make their noises with stinky any time they won't, it will lose its power when the real noise comes along. A good burp is something that requires practice. If they have a machine to do it for them, perhaps they'll lose their skill. Like what typing has done to my handwriting.I recommend The BFG by Roald Dahl. Drink the frobscottle and you'll be making whizzpoppers and flying around the room. It's a natural body function. Relax. I'm 63 years old and can still be greatly amused by flatulence. Farts are even funnier.Stinky the garbage truck is at the top of my son's Xmas list too - I tried to explain that Stinky doesn't have good manners (The yelling for more garbage sounded a little too much like my son demanding a snack!) and that I didn't think that Santa would have enough to give to every kid. He says he's buying it himself. Anyone want to hire a 4 year old so he can earn the $60? :)It is just something in the Y chromosome that those of us with two X's can't understand. Bodily "events" that would send a little girl tearfully fleeing from the room in humiliation are sources of great pride for a little boy of the same age. Nothing thrills my 7-year-old more than the word "poop." At one point, that's what he wanted to be for Halloween. Seriously. We females are fighting a losing battle in the war for a more refined male populace. 'Cause you know that secretly, any grown man reading this right now is thinking, "Cool! I've got my costume idea for next year!"Indeed, I should relax. (But I didn't even get into his "bottom dance" and how he now says the word "toot" every time he does it.) Emily, thanks for the reasoning on Stinky. I think you helped me make up my mind. Stinky may just cause him to stop producing the noises himself. (Msskitty, Stinky is on sale, with coupon, at Target for $45. Just so you know, ha,ha) And Sarah, I'm still laughing at my desk. I must not let my teen read your comment or he'll now want to go trick-or-treating one more year.I don't know if it helps, Laura, but I have to share this with you. We were told at the parent-teacher conference that one of the things the teacher would like us to work on with our son is to keep the "toilet humor" to himself. For boys, flatulence and poo are just funny topics. Also, any inanimate objects expelling excrement are even more hilarious! And my son is in the gifted program, but apparently feels the need to talk about this kind of stuff. Yuck!Aw, buy it! I don't like the very violent toys, but Stinky the dump truck is good for me if it makes your son laugh like that. The $45-$60 for it, well, that's another story. By the way, it's not just boys. My 7 yr old daughter is still into all bodily function humor and does a "toot" dance of her own with glee. I'm certain there will be a time when she gets embarrassed and it'll stop. For now, we just try to control when she uses said humor. And that Flarp thing is a huge hit with my kids and husband. I hate it, but my husband's giggle is so cute when he plays with it, or the whoopie cushion...
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