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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
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You can’t really say this on an airplane, can you? I mean can you just look over at that kind looking face of a stranger who has already fit fifteen sentences into a 30 second period and say what is no doubt on the tip of your tongue. It’s a stranger, mind you, someone who’s all too eager to spend the next 2 ½ hours telling you about his or her life and asking you questions about yours.
I’ve always thought no way. That would be rude. So all you can do is pray you don’t sit by the chatty Kathy and if you do you just suck it up. That means you put away that magazine you just splurged on or you forget about that nap you were going to take and just start listening and talking.
This used to be me. And, I must say I’ve met some really great people. Physicians. College students. Sales men. Teachers. All nice. Only a couple people who were a little odd.
But then yesterday came. I was headed home from a family wedding in Arizona and was operating on just 4½ hours of sleep and had packed a week of extended family time into 48 hours. So the last thing I wanted to do was waste my 2 ½ hour nap time on talking.
Are you an airplane chatter? Or the one to put on headphones, and blindfold and prefer to be alone. And silent.
Now I wish I had just chatted like a crazy person. I actually think I hurt the young woman’s feeling. It was obvious she wanted to chat with someone.
“Were you traveling for business or pleasure?” she asked, a smile splashed on her face.
I tried to explain it was for pleasure, a family wedding, and she just kept talking. Telling me where’s she’s from, what she was doing. And my eyes started to droop. Oh how I wanted that nap.
“Yeah, I’ve been traveling so much, I just want to sleep,” I said. “Just sleep on the way home.”
“Oh yeah, me too,” she said. “I sure am tired.”
She was quite nice, but I just couldn’t keep the eyes open.
So I just said, “Well, I better take my nap.”
She looked crushed. And soon, so did I. Twice she woke me up to get to the restroom. Then there was an emergency dealing with her family member on the plane - an emergency that ended OK - and I felt like a heel.
Here was this nice lady, taking care of a family member, and I couldn’t take time to say a few things.
But, let’s just say I was a little gun shy. On the way out to Arizona, I sat by two local guys who were quite friendly. The one in the middle chatted for quite awhile while his buddy read a magazine for much of the trip. Nice, nice people. I used my rule of always reaching out to strangers and answered questions, offered a few tidbits and then took a short nap.
Just before the plane began to decline, the guy in the middle took off for the restroom.
“Switch places with me,” he told his friend.
What? This guy wanted to get far, far away from me. Horrible, right?
Of course I took it that way. And have now vowed to not chat on an airplane ever again. We’ll see.
I have never had to deal with this but I am kind of shy. It would be hard to have a conversation, but I probably would. I am a nervous flyer anyways, so I figure a conversation would probably keep my mind occupied.I try not to be a nuisance on planes, but the sad fact is that I'm not a good flyer. I don't enjoy flying, it makes me extremely nervous, and when I get nervous I talk. Please try to be a little more tolerant of those of us who are simply trying to get through something we dread. We're not trying to bother you. We're trying not to fall apart! That said, I usually have a book with me, or my iPod, or something to while the time away, but sometimes it helps to talk with someone who is relaxed.I found that after becoming a parent, I don't have to worry about this anymore. When people see me board with an energetic little boy, they scramble to get as far away from me as they can. That's why we always fly Southwest -- no assigned seats!I am definitely the earphones on and book in hand person, and I don't care if it comes across as rude, quite honestly. I'm a nervous flier and I want to be in my happy place where I can maybe forget for a few minutes that I'm in an airplane. Chatting someone up would just rattle me. When I sat down on my flight back from Germany, I was next to a woman who clearly wanted to chit-chat...a LOT. Uh, no way. Not on a 9-hour flight. I shut that down quickly. Hey, my daughter doesn't call me antisocial for nothing. :-)Umm... I've done this 'switch places' thing. There are two good reasons for it that would have absolutely nothing to do with you. 1) If you're in the aisle you're the overhead bin handler. You can make sure you've got your stuff in record time & race off the plan 2) If you're needing out, switching places means they don't have to get up a second time to let you back in. If he'd been trying to avoid you, don't you think he would have switched places before the final descent?I vote with Proxymom. That guy would have had to "go to the restroom" long before if you were too chatty. My husband can't stand being in the middle, and needs to stretch his legs. He'd need to switch just to do that. At least you're conscientious about your talking and I'm sure you are good at reading the signals when it's time to stop. Moosebane, good reminder about people who are just nervous talkers. That's true!I was quiet on a trip to San Francisco. As we landed my seatmate asked why I was coming to S.F. i explained my husband had been there all week for training and I was joining him for a long weekend. He started telling me all about the city and what we should see. I wished we had talked earlier in that 3 hour flight. I missed out!It really depends on my mood. I have gotten tremendous restaurant recommendations on planes and my daughter's middle name is due to an airplane conversation. Hubby and I had her first name selected and were pondering the middle name. He had a conversation on a plane about 2 weeks prior to her birth and realized the name was a good match.Laura, let me ASSURE YOU that you were not being RUDE on the plane. You are not obligated to become friends with anyone you sit beside. I think books are good for inducing sleep, avoiding talkers and offering up to those who are nervous? .... Jen, got some extra paperbacks of Hate List to loan us for flights?This whole post is the perfect example of what makes the world an interesting place: the fact that we're all different. And that means that you have a right to do whatever the hell you want when you board that plane, girl! Chat or not! Of course, that also means that if you want to chat and the person beside you is not feeling the same way, too bad! That's life. And if this hurts their feelings, then they need to grow up. I spent years doing and feeling exactly as you have done, and guess what. It isn't always a bed of roses. Yes, I have had some excellent conversations with very interesting people, but I have also been stuck next to the most boring people on the planet. If you are tired, simply tell the person sitting next to you that you really need to get al ittle sleep, turn your head the other way, and close your eyes. I have watched my husband do this for years, and he always has a great flight. I finally started following his lead, and now I do, too. If I feel like chatting and find someone who is similarly inclined, fine. If not, I can read my book. No biggie! Cut yourself some slack!
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