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Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
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mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
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Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
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Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
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Somewhere along Interstate 35, headed south, I was a cursing fool. Banging my hands on the steering wheel, yelling at strangers who really did nothing wrong except obey the flippin’ traffic laws. Move faster, I would yell inside my Nissan Sentra. I’m going to miss it.
Like they cared.
Just sure a 35-minute commute is going to take a realistic 50, I call my husband. A few more curse words, a lot of yelling. And then a moment of calm.
“Has he played yet?”
It was the first home football game for oldest. And here I was stuck in traffic. Oh sure, I left work later than I thought and actually pulled onto I-35 right as rush hour was starting.
And, if you didn't know by know, I'm kind of a pyscho mom about stuff like that.
But somehow I thought I’d make it. Like some traffic fairy would appear, part the lanes of cars like the sea and just let me through. Doesn’t this fairy know I made a vow with myself years ago.
My parents never came to games, parades, music performances. Dad lived thousands of miles away and mom worked two jobs -- or one very time consuming one -- to pay the bills.
I remember always going with my friends to talk with their parents, or hanging with my sister who seemed to make most things. And when I got home, I’d always talk way too much with mom, trying to catch her up on what I'd been doing. Just wasn’t the same as her being there, though.
So I vowed to be at every game. To let my kids see me. Make sure they heard me yelling over all the other moms (I just have to stop yelling, ‘Honey.’ … working on that…).
So far, I’ve been able to do it. There may be one music performance that came on the night of some work conflict, but I seemed to have been able to block it out of my mind. Here’s hoping oldest did.)
There was one football game two years ago that I didn’t show up until half time. But I made it. Of course oldest says at least once a month, “Remember that one came when you didn’t see the first half.” Oh for goodness sake.
They never remember when you’re there and NEVER forget when you’re not.
So maybe you can understand the freak out along I-35. I’d already missed the A game, but because oldest only played a few plays, I thought I was OK. It was the B game I was busting my butt for.
“I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying,” I kept saying out loud.
Husband called during the middle of the B game. Tried to give me a play by play but youngest threw a fit and needed snacks. NOW.
So there oldest was, along the sidelines waiting to play and no one from his family was watching. HORRIBLE parents, just horrible.
I managed to park and sprint to the field with both teams still on it. I made it. I made it.
I see movement. There’s oldest. Yay!!! There he is running along the 50 yard line. Does he had the ball? Uh … no.
He’s Slapping. Hands. With. The other team.
I missed the whole darn game. My first missed game. The guilt slams me.
But then I realize something. I can still salvage this.
I make contact with husband, youngest and some friends. Then I head to where the teams running off the field. Must get to the middle of the group. Make myself seen. Yell louder than all the other moms.
And as oldest walked up, disappointed he didn’t play well or as much as he wanted, there I was front and center.
“Hey mom, you made it,” he said smiling.
Sure I did. It was like I didn’t miss a thing.
Later, he asked about the game and how I thought it went.
Must be honest, I said to myself.
“Well, I really didn’t get to see as much as I wanted.”
Now, that’s honest. Sort of.
With that, he was fine. And thanked me again for getting there.
I'm already planning to leave early this Thursday. Still don't want to miss that first game. Wink. Wink.
I'm so glad you wrote this! I never miss a game. Okay, there was ONE basketball game that I had to miss b/c the baby was sick and we had to stay home. Now that baby is almost 10, and I haven't missed a game since. Sadly, I'm going to be out of town soon and will miss a combined FOUR football games and am SO SAD! I never even miss a practice! How can I miss four games?! It's good to know I'm not alone!When my son played baseball, I never missed a game, although I might have been late for a few. When my daughter competed in horse shows, I was there for all of those as well. I also attended all band/orchestra concerts, fifth grade graduations, as many things as I could. My mother never came to any of the things I was in, and there came a point when I just stopped caring about that. When I lived with my grandparents, they attended everything, so I was good. I think it's important for parents to attend as many of these things as possible, but I also think it's important for kids to realize that stuff happens and sometimes Mom just can't be there!That was well-written! I felt all the angst with you. We haven't been there much--yet. Piano recitals mostly. My parents came to most of my things and it was just expected they would be there. I never thought otherwise. Husband's parents didn't come to most things and he still hurts from that. So keep up the effort!We tried to make it to everything. DH even switched jobs and gave up the commute so he could see jr high sports and be there. I know our kids appreciated it, even though there were a few times they told us not to go! We did miss a dance performance (we had the flu) but got video from another mom.I try my hardest to make it to everything, though I have had to juggle over the years and make some tough decisions, based on work or double scheduling with events, etc. I think that the most important thing is my kids know that I love them very much, I am proud of what they are doing and that if for some reason I can't make something they know I am thinking of them. I can't feel too guilty because otherwise it will wear me down.
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