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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
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You’re probably saying, darn right his does. Never takes it off. Wouldn’t dare.
In a perfect world, yes, men wear their rings. Always. Just like most women, or at least the women I know.
Well, that’s definitely not my lovely husband. He’s become known in our circles for not wearing his.
Not to the grocery store, not to run errands, and gasp, not the time he hung out with his two single friends.
He has one that matches mine, and wears it mostly when we go out to eat as a family or somewhere out of the ordinary. Kind of like how women have that nice necklace they wear for special occasions.
But so much of the time the ring pretty much sits on the top of his dresser. Or on the pantry. And for one week about a year ago, it was down at his folks, on one of their dressers, down in southwest Missouri.
When husband freaked because he didn’t want me to find out (obviously I did) his mom mailed it to him.
He’s never been a big jewelry guy, and especially not now that he’s a writer turned car guy. Says he doesn’t want to wear it while he’s working in the garage. He also tells a story about how an uncle almost lost his finger or something when he ring got hung up on some farm machinery. (At least that’s how I think the story goes.)
We pretty much laugh about it. Like when he visited a new church, with both kids, and husband is bare fingered. I caught one older lady looking at his hand and looking back at the two of us. Never said anything directly.
But recently I got to thinking about the ring, or lack of it. So of course I did what I do with everything in my world I wonder about. I googled it.
“Men who don’t wear their wedding rings.” That was my google.
Of course first thing that comes up is a free lance article about how all men who don’t don the ring are future cheaters sending the wrong message to people they meet or come across.
Great. But good for my husband, I don’t buy it.
Then about.com gave me some oh, so helpful information. Used to be, in the years before WWII, guys didn’t wear wedding rings. (Not sure if that’s true, but that’s what it said.)
During the war, however, the popularity of wedding rings for men skyrocketed. The rings gave them comfort when they were far away from their wives. And, the ring was a symbol of pride, a message to the world you are a married man.
Now that, I can buy. And I think I may be able to just sell that one to my husband.
But, I still think he gets a pass when it comes to car time.
I do know a man who wore his ring while working on Black Hawk helicopters--I think there was some sort of electrical surge, and part of it melted. He's fine (and his finger's fine)--the ring, not so much. Evidently hurt like the dickens at the time, though. At any rate--I agree with giving your hubby a pass while he's working on engine parts. Rings can actually be legitimately dangerous in those situations.My husband doesn't wear his either. He is in the construction business, so it is better left off. Actually, I don't wear mine either. My second pregnancy made me allergic to jewerly.I work in the maintenance deptarment at work and most of the guys don't wear wedding rings, because of them getting caught on moving pieces of equipment, etc. So I get it. Otherwise, I don't know. If I was married, I would probably really want my husband to wear his ring but I probably would be okay if he didn't. I will have to wait and see.My mechanic cousin had his wedding ring finger tatooed. With two colors. Married 40 years on April first.My husband can't wear his--he's gained too much weight. I'm headed that way myself. I didn't wear mine the whole time I was pregnant, because my hands swelled so much. I don't really have a problem with DH not wearing his ring. He's never hidden the fact that he's married.My husband hasn't worn his ring since about the first three months we were married. Eight years ago. He doesn't wear any jewelry though and told me doubted he would wear it much. It's never bothered me at all, I never gave it a second thought, actually. I wear mine most of the time, but sometimes I don't. I guess for us, the rings aren't a huge deal. We know we love each other and that we aren't cheating on each other. It never even occurred to me that other people might be looking at him/us in judgment because one of us isn't wearing a ring.Nope - but he's not allowed to wear it at work. He's a plumber and it's a serious risk if they wear it. So he never wears it to work and rarely on the weekends. If we're going out (like to a wedding or special event) I will ask him to wear it. We're married if he has that ring on or not. :)I've only seen my father wear his wedding ring a handful of times. He doesn't wear it every day, only when he dresses up. I grew up on a farm, and my father was a high school shop teacher during that time; both of those things it can be dangerous to wear rings or other jewelry. Now he is a carpenter, still dangerous to wear a ring.Actually our story is a different one. I searched long and hard years ago for the "right" ring for him. It is solid, so he wouldn't wear it out. It is even engraved with our anniversary date on the inside (in case he forgets- or so there is no excuse to not acknowledge it:) Anyway, my engagement ring and wedding band were sautered together years ago, and even had to be redone because it broke on the back. Well, about a year ago, part of the design on the wrap part of my ring broke, and one of the diamonds fell out. DH was NOT happy. And has not taken the time to have it fixed. In fact, I am not 100% sure where my ring is. I know at one point and time he had it in his office drawer at work, so he could have someone at work look at it and give "suggestions" as to where to take it. Like I said, that was over a year ago. I actually would like it back, but dh obviously isn't worried about someone thinking I am single....ha! (especially not when I drive a suburban and have 3 kiddos:)Nope, mine doesn't either. He works on heavy equipment. Now when we go out, I don't know what his excuse is.Mine wears his, always, doesn't like to take it off. I take all my jewelry off at the end of the day. It feels weird if I leave the house without it.I couldn't care less whether or not DH wears his since he has a big "E" tattooed on that finger and the ring just obscures the tattoo. I try to wear mine when I leave the house, but I never wear it at home and often forget it when I run out somewhere like the store. I've thought about a tattoo, but he doesn't think they're "ladylike" so his double-standard gets me off the hook on that.Mine doesn't wear his either. It's really not all that uncommon, obviously. It doesn't bother me most of the time. He works with his hands all day and it would cut in to his finger really badly. When he took it off it was really bent up. He hasn't put it back on in at least 10 years. I asked him about it the other day, and he doesn't know where it is anymore. He thinks it was stolen when our house was broken in to (many years ago). It thought I had seen it since then. Mine was stolen at that time, but we replaced it.Mine wears his all the time, but I don't think anything of men who don't. Depending on what they do, it certainly can be very dangerous.My husband wears his and always has. For almost 30 years now. He does take it off when he goes golfing because it hurts when swinging the club. He doesn't like to not wear it. I kinda like that about him. :)Mine always wears his, but I would totally understand if he didn't wear it if he had a job that made wearing a ring dangerous. Heck, I don't wear mine around the house because I don't want to damage it or lose it down a toilet or something. HOWEVER... I have to say... if Hub went out with a couple single friends and didn't wear his ring, I'd be pretty unhappy. That one wouldn't fly.Luke wears his, and he's a construction guy... of course we've been thinking about getting a different one for him because right now he has a titanium one that wouldn't be easy to saw off in case of an emergency at work... but usually in a construction site someone can find something to cut the thing off... The only place he doesn't wear it is in the shower because the soap gets stuck in there... I would be a little pissy too if he didn't wear it going out with single friends... but everyone is different. I've been hit on before at the grocery store once when a guy noticed I wasn't wearing mine.... I forgot it on accident because I was cleaning right before I went...We both wear our rings and never take them off! We are not jewelry people, but after almost 17 years, I feel naked without mine!When we got married almost 12 years ago, I bought my husband a special "comfort band" ring that cost a lot of money. He is just not a jewelry person, however. He would leave the house with it, then take it off and leave it in his glove compartment in the car. It made me mad for awhile, but after so many years, I've just gotten used to it. Yes, I would like it if he wore it, but his dad didn't wear one, either. Plus, at this point, I don't really get jealous any more!I didn't realize so many men didn't wear rings! Mine wears his, but it falls off, twice in the pool. I never notice if someone has a ring on or not, male or female. I think that's fascinating about the WWII reference. Wonder if that's true?My husband wears his wedding ring. He really likes it. It took forever to find the one he wanted. But he doesn't have a job where wearing one would be dangerous. And frankly, with the way he travels, I think it would be dangerous if he didn't wear it. However, a ring doesn't really mean anything -- plenty of guys wear them and don't mind violating the vows it signifies.My hubby doesn't wear his ring- almost ever. He spilled chemicals on his left hand and it ate away his nails & made him allergic to any metal he wears. I got him a new ring and it was helped some, and he can wear it on special occasions without his whole hand swelling. If he wears it too long though, it itches and winds up in my purse. I don't mind because obviously it's not anyone's fault, and he makes it very clear to the single ladies who ask that he's taken!I think it's 50/50 on who wears the ring and when they choose not to. I never take mine off, but it's b/c I have a tendancy to lose things, not b/c I think the symbolism will evaporate once it's off my finger. My husband usually remembers to take his off when he's tooling aroung with his cars. Maybe tatoos are just more efficient and more economical. I would of never made this revelation when we were looking at engagement rings though :).My husband NOW wears his all the time. One day (while in labor with our 3rd child), I noticed his ring was missing. He said he lost it and was just waiting for the right time to tell me. He was ring-less for about a year when I finally said, "If you won't wear a wedding ring, neither will I". He got one the next day. I don't know, I just feel he should wear it.We're the opposite -- I take mine off all the time, DH wears his constantly. I hope it doesn't bother him, it's certainly not a slight on our marriage. I just find it cumbersome at times, and then forget to put it back on.My hubby doesn't wear his either. I told him that I would make earings out of the diamonds. He wouldn't mind. I don't wear mine either, since haveing my second child, I haven't lost the weight and haven't gotten it resized. Hopefully this summer it will fit again. I perfer that he doesn't wear it, with all of the labor intesive work that he does.I tend to go with moosebane. I knew going ino my marriage of 11 years that he wasn't big on rings. To me, that wasn't a deal breaker. We have known and loved each other for 18 years. Bottom line is, to each is own. If someone is worried about cheating, he's going to do it regardless of a band. Please, please please take this lightly and not in the wrong way. Seduction an be stronger than a band. However, it is what's in the heart that is the strongest of all.Okay-this is tiller and somehow my 1st comment ended up under pamperedchef's blog name. SO SORRY. I don't know what I did. Like I said in my intro, I'm new to this. I am so sorry.There were times when DH was on active duty (Army) that he didn't wear it...due to whatever task he was doing. Still, if he's working on mechanical things at home, he'll take it off. But, he works in an office now, and leaves it on all the time. I would be very, very bothered if he didn't wear it when he could. He gets bothered when I don't wear mine. So much, in fact, that he has bought me new wedding bands to wear when I'm pregnant. :-) Kinda like "fat clothes." lol I just have "fat wedding bands." ha ha
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