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Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
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mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
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Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
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Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
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So there’s really only one first real dance. The one you get all excited for. Plan what you’re going to wear and who you’re going to dance with or take. Pictures and all that. Doesn’t matter if you’re a boy a girl, it’s definitely a childhood memory.
And thanks to one junior high school in Olathe, our oldest had this potentially wonderful memory ripped from him and stomped on, totally obliterated.
OK. I’m a little dramatic. But, this is nothing. You should have seen me Thursday night. I was a crazy nut, storming the school, and showing my colors as an insane, crazy woman. Not a proud moment.
However, let’s just see what you would do if the school you love, the one you brag about to anyone stupid enough to ask where your kid goes, wouldn’t let your son inside the dance.
I’m not kidding. They physically wouldn’t let him in the door. Man, I’m still hot.
Must. Let. It. Go.
It’s all about school policy apparently. And our school’s policy say kids must have a school ID to get into school functions.
For a mom of a organizationally-challenged teenager, this has always worried me. Oh, he’s going to lose it the first week, I said to myself back in August.
But no. He’s never lost it. Only misplaced it for a couple of days until I washed his jeans and then found it.
He even kept it safe during Christmas break when he seemed to lose everything else school-related.
But about 6:30 Thursday night, after he had showered and put on his freshly ironed and very cool outfit, he rushed through the house panicked. He was supposed to be at the school in 30 minutes.
"Can’t find my ID card."
You would have thought we had lost his little brother. All the adults in the house (three) went to work looking on counters and in rooms, under cushions and in about every pair of parents oldest owns. I think I even searched a pair he hasn’t worn in two years. Just in case.
Nothing. He had the card at lunch that day, just a few hours before. But couldn’t remember, for the life of him, what happened to it after the lunch lady handed it back.
Oldest sent a text to the girl he was going to hang out with at the dance. (A ninth grader, a fact he found way cool being he’s a seventh grader.)
Try to get in anyway, she says.
I call another mom. No problem, she says. One of the teacher’s will know him. They’ll let him in.
That’s what I figured. Surely the policy was for safety reasons. And if even one teacher recognized him, they’d know he wasn’t sent from another school or district to wreak harm or havoc.
But no. They decided to basically kick him out. Shrug their shoulders and say, "Sorry that’s our policy."
Are you friggin’ kidding me?
There I was, sitting in the parking lot talking to oldest on his mobile phone.
"They won’t let me in. … They recognized me, know who I am, but they still won’t."
Though oldest tried to talk me out of it, I walked into the school, in all my blue jean glory mixed with girls in $100 dresses and boys like my oldest in clothes better than any church attire I’ve seen lately.
I explain that he had the ID at lunch. That he’s never lost it before. That it just happened. And I’m telling this to the assistant principal I’ve seen many times and the secretary who is oh so nice when we pick up oldest for the orthodontist.
"Sorry, it’s our policy. … We’ve announced it for days on the announcements."
Again. Are you friggin’ kidding me?
There’s my son, his hair all fixed and shirt all crisp and tucked in. A young girl inside in a new dress, just waiting for him.
I’m furious as we walk to the car. Furious and crushed. He’d been looking forward to this for weeks. And two ladies at the front door basically said he wasn’t allowed. It was his fault too, basically, because he lost his ID just six hours before.
Oldest was sad, no doubt about it.
"I feel bad for you," he says in the car. "You helped me get ready, ironed my clothes and were all excited. I’m sorry I screwed it up."
OK. What a great kid.
We went home, tried to salvage some fun with fondue night. Husband and my sister convinced me to stop being gloomy.
But I’m still mad.
I’ve written and rewritten a letter to the principal, never striking the right tone. Always sounding like a crazy, over-involved mom who’s telling the faculty members how to do their jobs.
I'm not asking for a school policy overhaul. Maybe just a little built-in, common-sense flexibility.
But I’m still working on the letter. No curse words, I know. No melodrama either about how a potentially cool childhood memory is now all sad and horrible.
All I want to say is, "Are you friggin' kidding me?"
Laura, I'm with you. Policies are fine, but you'd think they could give children a little slack. It's a plastic card, not a laminated behavioral report! ... Could you just send this post to the principal?Wow - I actually welled up a tear reading this. How frustrating! And the thought of him being all ready to go and not able to get in - it breaks my heart! Unhelpful but moderately interesting side note: DH told me a story last night about his friend who was going to his school dance in 1967, but didn't have a ticket. He hung out by the back door, and the band let him carry their stuff in, and let him in the school. The band happened to be "The Who" playing at SMS.Okay, I will play devil’s advocate….I guess I would look at it this way, if you bought a ticket to a concert, you wouldn’t be able to get in. In high school if you don’t have your ticket to prom, you are turned away as well. A big focus in middle school is teaching life skills like organization to prepare for high school a beyond. On the school side, many times the people working are not teachers. Often they are the wives and husbands of the principals and the rules have to be set because they don’t know this kid is from that. And then there is the issue if you do for one then you must for all. Can you imagine the calls they would get from the other parents who kid was turned away for a different reason since they heard that Jonny got in without an ID then my kid should have got in when he was his wearing shorts. Yeah, it would happen. So, I too would be livid but I am hoping that my husband wasn’t the asst principal who turned your kid away ;) Just had to represent the flip side as I know most will disagree…Sorry for all the typo's grrrr .....typing too fast while at work. I forgot to say that I have lost my badge at work 4 times this year alone. I so feel for your son!Sorry, but that's bullcrap -- I'd be pissed too. So, if the Principal left his ID at home they wouldn't let him in? Sure thing. I understand the need for security, but what about common sense? If a teacher recognizes a current student, that should be enough.I have been the parent at the door and believe you me, if one kid got in without ID or a ticket, word would spread quick and there would be hell to pay.I understand the policy, but if a child loses his ID, doesn't he get to purchase another one? Couldn't he re-purchase one there and get it printed the next day? I mean, if we're going for the concert analogy here, he could buy another ticket, right? This is ridiculous. Seriously. Please make sure you follow up with an email or something to the principal.We recently chaperoned at winter formal. The kids had to sign in, stay inside and sign out when they left. There were several I did not recognize (new students and dates from other schools). The only ones turned away were students who did not meet the eligibility requirements--attendance and grade check. And those students knew ahead of time they would not get in. It seems harsh to keep him out, however, if you make an exception for one, it sets a precedent. That said, if they recognized him and you, they should have let him in. Our son lost his lunch card multiple times in junior high, and he had to come up the $ to replace it himself. He mowed the yard a lot that first fall.Stricter than the MCI airport -- when DH & I were flying off to get married I lost my DL ID. They let me board anyways (2004.) Who cares if there is 'hell to pay' from other parents? It's a stupid rule. I'd rather get in trouble for using common sense than get in trouble for not doing so.Well, the case of the lost ID has been solved. Oldest apparently borrowed a pencil from his Social Studies teacher (just a few hours before the dance) and had to leave his ID behind as collateral. If only we had ransacked the school we would have found it in time -- kidding, just kidding. But apparently he has learned a lesson in this whole ordeal. "I guess I know now not to try and buy beer when I'm older and don't have an ID," he said. .... Uh, not the lesson I thought we all learned, but whatever. A lesson is a lesson. As for me, I'm still writing that letter.
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