advertisement
-
Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
- read more
mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
- read more
Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
- read more
Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
- read more
-
So there I was late last week, sitting in a booth inside a Denny’s, fuming at my husband. I was hundreds of miles away in Dallas, Texas, going on my fifth day away from home.
And in the booth I said words under my breath I could never say out loud at home. Mostly nouns, but a few adjectives. All aimed at my husband.
All because he basically stole a huge mom moment from me. Thinking he was doing the right thing.
Here’s the set up. I was out of town all last week for work, leaving husband to do everything at home. The cooking, cleaning, practice pickups, making sure toddler didn’t escape and join the circus or something.
And man did he do great. Again, he substituted for mom and did so seemingly without a hitch.
Except, he did too much.
When oldest found out he didn’t make the school play, he was pretty upset. It was Wednesday and I still wouldn’t be home for two days.
Now, this is what I do. Plumbers fix pipes. Builders build and actors act. I, as a mom, console. Comfort.
I don’t always love the job, but I prepare for it. And in the end, I almost always cherish those moments.
Even pride myself on how quickly I can get one of the boys to smile or laugh during one of their most sensitive and heart-wrenching moments.
But no. Husband made the decision not to tell me about this until I got home. He didn’t want to distract me from the job I was doing. Again, good intentions. But, well, what the heck was he thinking? I’m obsessive about knowing everything all the time.
I may still not have known about the play if another mom hadn’t emailed me on Wednesday (I didn’t get the email until Thursday) and told me her son got a part. She wanted to know how our kid did.
Gee, that might be nice to know.
So I immediately call husband, as I waited for my grilled chicken sandwich to come.
"Did we find out about the play?" I quizzed him. "Did he make it?"
Husband paused. "I‘m not sure if all the kids found out or not yet." I’ve got to give it to him it was technically true. Kind of.
He goes on.
"Some of the kids will have to wait until the next play."
Of course I go a little nutty here. Spewing out questions and trying to figure out if he’s just joking or there’s something he doesn’t want to tell me.
He finally tells me that oldest didn’t make it and he was pretty sad the night before. THE NIGHT BEFORE?
I keep raising my voice and the poor waitress thinks I’m insane. She just keeps refilling my tea and smiling awkwardly.
And all I can think is I just missed the times I was meant for. The times where I get to be kind mom, supportive mom. I mean, come on, I’ve practiced speeches for times like this.
But husband thought it wasn’t the time to tell me.
"I was trying to avoid this," he told me, referring to the cracking in my voice, the few choice words escaping my mouth and my obvious disregard for all things work. Gee, I only had an interview in 15 minutes. At this point I think I even forgot the questions I meant to ask this man.
Before I could hang up the phone, husband assured me he comforted oldest and told delivered all the speeches I had practiced for years. He even called his mom, the eternal expert on all things children.
But still, it was something I should have known early. It was something oldest should have been able to talk with me about, too.
Come on, wouldn’t you be mad? No matter how good his intentions were.
Update: Turns out, husband and I were able to do the one-two punch. I talked long and hard to oldest once I got home and coupled that with all the advice husband gave. The advice was soooo good that oldest was spewing it back to me like it had really sunk in.
So maybe he didn’t steal my moment, but just had his own.
I understand how you would be upset, I would have been too at first! Seems like your DH did what he thought was right and it turned out great! Glad that your son is doing better and between the 2 of you he is feeling better about the situation!What a guy! You are very lucky to have someone who wants to help you focus on your job and deal with the drama at home alone (pun intended.) However, I would be upset, too. While HE might want to be protected so he could focus if the tables were turned, you clearly do not want to be left out of the loop. I would tell him thank you, but it's not your place to decide what I can handle when it comes to the kids. Then I'd kiss him.Sometimes our hubbies surprise us don't they? Don't hold it against him for too long. He had his 'project' and he was trying to do it great---for you! That counts for a lot. I always find it so sweet when I hear or see my DH handling a situation with our DD in a way that I have coached him to do it. It makes me feel like he respects me enough to listen to me and loves me enough to try!I'm just impressed that your husband can hold down the fort by himself when you're gone. The few times I've ever been away -- sometimes for work when I was at The Star, once for a trip with my daughter -- he had to call his mom to come stay.ITA katebeem! Sounds like he had it under control. (the green jealousy monster just creeped in). Have to be honest, when I was working and DH would deal with things, instead of calling me on the spot, I would find out that evening or the next morning. I would totally have been distracted to do my job if I knew some of the stuff he held til I got home.
June 2013 Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Tagsmoms (38)
teens (34)
tweens (27)
toddlers (22)
school (18)
kids (17)
christmas (14)
boys (12)
parenting (10)
toddler (10)
mom (9)
parents (9)
family (8)
friends (8)
birthdays (6)
children (6)
discipline (6)
money (6)
teenagers (6)
economy (5)
facebook (5)
girls (5)
kindergarten (5)
mom moments (5)
shopping (5)
stress (5)
video games (5)
anxiety (4)
diet (4)
fashion (4)
holidays (4)
husbands (4)
santa (4)
sons (4)
sports (4)
talking (4)
teachers (4)
apple (3)
babies and toddlers (3)
books (3)
chores (3)
coupons (3)
crazy (3)
dad (3)
dads (3)
divorce (3)
driving (3)
exercise (3)
flirting (3)
football (3)
ipad (3)
junior high (3)
lessons (3)
marriage (3)
michael phelps (3)
obama (3)
peer pressure (3)
preschool (3)
sex (3)
sleep (3)
steve jobs (3)
tantrums (3)
worry (3)
brad pitt (2)
bragging (2)
church (2)
class (2)
conferences (2)
craigslist (2)
dancing (2)
death (2)
dogs (2)
embarrassing (2)
emergency room (2)
family time (2)
fat (2)
fighting (2)
finances (2)
fits (2)
fitting in (2)
food (2)
google (2)
guardians (2)
guilt (2)
haircuts (2)
high school (2)
homework (2)
husband (2)
internet (2)
joplin (2)
karma (2)
license (2)
losing weight (2)
manners (2)
mccain (2)
mean (2)
men (2)
olympics (2)
phobias (2)
pictures (2)
presents (2)
questions (2)
saving money (2)
scary (2)
spelling bee (2)
stubborn (2)
style (2)
summer (2)
teacher (2)
teen (2)
toys (2)
tv (2)
vanity (2)
weight loss (2)
wii (2)
wills (2)
writing (2)
(1)
16 (1)
40th (1)
911 (1)
accents (1)
acne (1)
activities (1)
add (1)
addiction (1)
advice (1)
affection (1)
afraid (1)
airplanes (1)
alcohol (1)
allow (1)
anger (1)
apologizing (1)
appreciation (1)
arguments (1)
art (1)
autism (1)
babies (1)
babysitter (1)
babysitting (1)
back to school (1)
backsnacks (1)
bad cop (1)
bad luck (1)
bad mom moments (1)
band (1)
bathroom (1)
beer (1)
belief (1)
belongings (1)
birth (1)
birthday (1)
blogging (1)
body image (1)
bones (1)
bosses (1)
bottoms (1)
bribery (1)
broken bones (1)
brothers (1)
budget (1)
butts (1)
cameras (1)
candy (1)
car keys (1)
carnies (1)
carnivals (1)
cartoons (1)
cheap (1)
cheating (1)
chemistry (1)
childhood hunger (1)
christmas cards (1)
christmas spirit (1)
chubby (1)
cleaning (1)
cleavage (1)
clinton (1)
clothes (1)
clutter (1)
cnn (1)
coaches (1)
cold turkey (1)
comic books (1)
commercialism (1)
commitments (1)
communication (1)
competitive (1)
computers (1)
conference (1)
consoling (1)
cooking (1)
coupon policies (1)
creativity (1)
criticism (1)
crutches (1)
curiosity (1)
custody (1)
dances (1)
date night (1)
daughters (1)
deals (1)
decorations (1)
demi moore (1)
dentists (1)
development (1)
diet coke (1)
dinner (1)
dinner table (1)
dinosaurs (1)
discounts (1)
diseases (1)
drama (1)
dreams (1)
dresses (1)
drinking (1)
dying (1)
eating out (1)
education (1)
election (1)
embarrassing moments (1)
emotional (1)
examples (1)
exhausted (1)
failure (1)
fathers (1)
fear (1)
first day (1)
first day of school (1)
first words (1)
fitness (1)
flu (1)
focus (1)
food costs (1)
forgetfulness (1)
frankenweenie (1)
frugal (1)
frustration (1)
fun (1)
funny (1)
games (1)
garden (1)
gardening (1)
gary lezak (1)
gas prices (1)
gifts (1)
girl (1)
girlfriends (1)
good cop (1)
goth (1)
grades (1)
grammar (1)
grandmas (1)
grandparents (1)
graphic novel (1)
grateful (1)
gray hair (1)
groceries (1)
guys (1)
hair (1)
hair dye (1)
haircut (1)
hairstyle (1)
halloween (1)
hanging out (1)
happiness (1)
healthy (1)
helicopter moms (1)
helmets (1)
heroes (1)
history (1)
hobbies (1)
holiday cards (1)
homecoming (1)
hoodies (1)
hooters (1)
hospice (1)
household chores (1)
how to (1)
hugs (1)
humiliation (1)
humor (1)
hungry (1)
ice (1)
imaginary friends (1)
imagination (1)
immunizations (1)
indiana (1)
indulge (1)
interests (1)
joe biden (1)
journey (1)
junk food (1)
kansas city (1)
kavya shivashankar (1)
kenny rogers (1)
kindness (1)
kisses (1)
labor (1)
late (1)
layoffs (1)
lazy (1)
learning (1)
lena (1)
library (1)
lindsey vonn (1)
long hair (1)
losing (1)
loss (1)
lost (1)
love (1)
love you (1)
mail (1)
makeover (1)
markers (1)
math (1)
matt lauer (1)
memories (1)
messy rooms (1)
michelle obama (1)
mistake (1)
mom guilt (1)
mom2mom (1)
moments (1)
mommy and daddy time (1)
morning (1)
mother-in-law (1)
mothers (1)
motivation (1)
mourning (1)
movies (1)
music (1)
nagging (1)
naked (1)
names (1)
neighbors (1)
neil diamond (1)
neurotic (1)
new year (1)
news (1)
nice (1)
night light (1)
night out (1)
nightmares (1)
no (1)
occupations (1)
old (1)
old-fashioned (1)
opinions (1)
outsmarted (1)
overprotective (1)
ozarks (1)
parade (1)
paranoid (1)
parent involvement (1)
parent involvment (1)
parent-teacher conference (1)
parties (1)
passing gas (1)
passion (1)
peeing (1)
peers (1)
pets (1)
photo (1)
photos (1)
please (1)
polite (1)
politeness (1)
politics (1)
potty (1)
pre teen (1)
preschooler (1)
president (1)
presidents (1)
principals (1)
procrastinating (1)
prom (1)
pto (1)
puberty (1)
punishment (1)
quitting (1)
raise (1)
reading (1)
regrets (1)
relationships (1)
remove tag (1)
resolutions (1)
respect (1)
responsibility (1)
road trip (1)
rude (1)
running (1)
running off (1)
ryan lochte (1)
santa claus (1)
sarah palin (1)
saving (1)
savings (1)
school clothes (1)
school dances (1)
scooby (1)
security blanket (1)
self confidence (1)
self help (1)
self-improvement (1)
sensitive (1)
sexting (1)
shooting (1)
short shorts (1)
shy (1)
sibling rivalry (1)
sick (1)
single mom (1)
single moms (1)
skiing (1)
smiling (1)
smurfberries (1)
smurfs-village (1)
snow (1)
socializing (1)
southwest missouri (1)
speech (1)
spirit (1)
spoiling (1)
sportmanship (1)
spying (1)
status (1)
stinky (1)
stitches (1)
strangers (1)
studying (1)
success (1)
sugar (1)
surveys (1)
susan boyle (1)
swearing (1)
swimming (1)
swimsuit (1)
tact (1)
talent (1)
talkers (1)
tantrum (1)
tardy (1)
target (1)
teaching moments (1)
teen driving (1)
teenage boys (1)
television (1)
temper (1)
terminal (1)
tests (1)
texting (1)
texts (1)
thank-you notes (1)
the great depression (1)
the today show (1)
therapy (1)
thighs (1)
thin girls (1)
tim russert (1)
tornado (1)
tornadoes (1)
tragedies (1)
training (1)
traveling (1)
trayvon martin (1)
trips (1)
trouble (1)
ugly (1)
vacation (1)
vacations (1)
vaccines (1)
video (1)
violence (1)
volunteeing (1)
volunteering (1)
walt disney world (1)
weather (1)
wedding rings (1)
weekends (1)
weight (1)
weight gain (1)
weight watchers (1)
winning (1)
wives (1)
women (1)
words (1)
working (1)
working mom (1)
workplace (1)
worlds of fun (1)
wrestling (1)
x-mas (1)
yelling (1)
yo gabba gabba (1)
younger guy (1)
zuckerberg (1)