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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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We all have our own skill sets. Things we're good at. Things we're not. Things we like to do so when we do them they're extra good.
Some things dads are good at better than moms and vice versa.
Not being sexist. Just saying what works in our house. If oldest needs help with math he goes to my husband. If he needs new tennis shoes, again, husband takes him. (Like I know the difference between Asics and Nike. Heck I find the cheapest on sale I can find.) Same thing if he needs a rational, less-emotional opinion on something, step-dad is his answer.
I make cookies for school functions, I volunteer at the school, handle daily mishaps and of course most contact with teachers and other officials. (Typically you need to talk in those situations, and, well, I'm the talker of the family, and might be of any family.)
So you can imagine I did a little freak out when I realize I have to be out of town on business during parent-teacher conferences. Of course I worried that teachers would think I'm an uninvolved mom, one of those who basically lets the neighbors raise her kids.
I pictured them whispering about me in the hall, saying I didn't care how my son was doing at school, that apparently I'm too busy to care. (Sad thing is, these thoughts actually occupied time in my head for a short bit.)
Then I realized "Hey, send the husband. Why can't he go?"
Not that husband hadn't been to them before, he'd just never flown solo at one, and wasn't really excited about the prospect of doing it.
I was nervous. He was nervous. I mean the one time I took oldest for tennis shoes - definitley a dad job - I called him three times from the store. I couldn't bear having his disappointed look when I walked in the front door with a pair of no-brand, bad-for-your soles shoes.
So husband and I prepped a little. I emailed every teacher saying I couldn't be there and saying that step-dad would step in. All but two emailed back and basically counted our emails as a conference. Husband loved that; that meant he just had two teachers to talk with. He was ready. So ready that when my trip got postponed until this week, we stuck with the plan.
Guess what? He saw four teachers, not two. He asked all the right questions. He commiserated with teachers who said Oldest needed a little help with organization. And what else did lovely husband do? He took notes. In a notebook. Of most everything the teachers said. Especially all the good stuff.
So we sat at the table last week and we went teacher-by-teacher. We went over missed assignments, good tests, and that great poem for English class. And husband even repeated a few times, after a little prodding, how the teachers think Oldest is very polite and kind. When I go by myself I only get to hear it once, so this was fantastic.
I've always hated conferences. Get too nervous talking with teachers and really feel like it's a job evaluation of me, not my son.
But this? This was great. I got to hear all of the good and the few improvements we need to make from the comfort of my home.
From my husband who did a pretty darn good job taking over for mom.
But if he think I'm going to sub in one night for math duty he's crazy. That will always be a dad job.
Thanks for sharing this snippet of life. It makes me think of how many things my DH does for me that are similar in nature. He has his faults but he sure can do wonderful things when I give him a list! Shopping Clothes and Grocery, Doctors Appointments, Cooking, and Cleaning. The best part is that he always seems happy to do it for me too!!!This was great! I need to be reminded to let my husband take more of the lead sometimes. You're right about how we bring different--not good or bad-- things to the table. My husband had our girls by himself for a week this summer and he did a fantastic job. Everyone was not only alive, but the house was even cleaned. It's good to let go a little. I appreciate the reminder!While working as a teachers assistant it was really nice to see the dads come in w/mom for conferences. Although, we did have some dads that sat off to the side & entertained the children so they were not really involved. We sometimes had dads as room helpers & the kids just loved them being there. Of course dads on a field trip are always a plus (for carrying the coolers) but it just shows that they want to take the day off & hang out with their kids too. At our house dh is the math & science go to guy. I am the reading/english person. If you want to know where everyone is/doing, that is my area also. I am the organized one & keeper of the calendar. I haven't sent dh on drs appts solo yet. Although, if he can, he goes with.
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