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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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The more I say it maybe my husband will start to believe me. Heck, maybe I’ll start to believe me.
So chant along with me, "LAURA WILL NOT VOLUNTEER." … All right! That helps.
I think my husband and I both envision -- or fear -- this school year will be just like the last four. PTO meetings, cooking for teachers, taking on far more responsibilities than any sane mom should. Frantic calls to other moms when I can’t get enough people to cook food.
You could say I have trouble saying no. I don’t think I uttered the two-letter once since oldest was in the second grade. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. But it did become a little much. And what’s crazy is, I was mediocre compared to some moms who were up at the school so much, visitors would mistake them for teachers.
But now, I’ve seen the light.
The way I figure it, this is my clean break. Oldest is headed to Junior High where hardly any of the moms with kids older than him know me. They don’t know that I’m a sucker for parent involvement and have the best recipe for Breakfast Pizza that teachers love. Or that I’m a guilt-laden full-time working mom who tries to make it up to her kid by doing things for his school. (Yep, you guessed it, I grew up Catholic.)
Oh yes, I feel the change a coming.
This year I’m just some random seventh-grade mom. Who hasn’t signed up for anything. No cooking duties, no committees, no nothing. Well, I did sign up to chaperone dances, but that’s not volunteering. At our house we call that nosy mom fun.
Doesn’t all this sound great? Just being a mom who gets up early, cooks her son breakfast and watches him head off to school on his bike. Let me soak that in as I chant, I WILL NOT VOLUNTEER!
Every first Tuesday (or was it the second) of the month I’ll be able to stay home and hang out with the kids instead of going to PTO. (Heck, who am I kidding, I’m missed three times as many meetings than I actually attended, but I always felt so guilty I couldn’t enjoy my night at home.)
When parent teacher conferences come along, there’ll be no worrying about helping organize, or at least cook dishes, for the teachers’ dinner and breakfast.
No worries. No responsibilities.
I’m beginning to love the sound of this new me.
Of course I know I will have my slip ups, the times when I mistakenly utter the three-letter word that puts me right back into the vicious cycle of volunteering.
But for now, I’m doing the chant. And if all goes well, I’ll have two years of no responsibility outside home and work.
Then toddler will head to kindergarten where I know I’ll become a sucker all over again.
Two years, though, that sounds like volunteer-free heaven.
I've never had trouble saying no, although I have spent a good amount of volunteer time. On my own accord though, not because I was asked.Boy, don't I understand..I have a hard time saying no too and I can only stretch so far. I actually gave up a position at Scouts so that maybe I could relax a little. We shall see how that goes.Instead of volunteering as much as I should, I spend most my time feeling guilty for not volunteering. I know the Mom's that are in on everything - and I help when I can. I do a lot of sending treats in and other supplies. I know that the mom's that do most the organizing and volunteering don't work outside the home - but that doesn't ease my guilty any. Honestly, there are a few alfpha Moms that want things done only their way - so I'd rather just stay out of their way. Good luck to you backing out with your 7th grader. DS is going into 8th this year and honestly I was ask to do very little last school year. Cheers!I did some volunteering when DS was in the first years. I chaired carnival 2 years in a row. Here is JC I found that the PTA board liked to run everything their way and didn't really want any in put. Plus I thought it was unfair the way the board was picked and the president was decided well before year end. I will do a little if I can but I try to just stay out of the way. I guess I never was in the in crowd.I feel your freedom. Now I've got two in middle school, so I've just got the one in elementary. I'll still do too much. My problem is that I can say no, but when it doesn't get done, I do it so the kids aren't affected. But I do think I'm going to have to give up Girl Scouts. It's too much, and the girls don't seem to be that interested anymore. I feel guilty, too, since my son is so into Boy Scouts and the youngest starts Cubs this year. But my daughter seems OK with it.I'm a SAHM and I don't volunteer as much as you do--er, did. I feel like it runs my life as it is, whether it's the guilt of saying no or guilt from saying yes and finding myself in something bigger than promised. I, like most of us, want to make the school experience a good one. I want to support teachers, students and staff. But I don't want to sacrifice a large part of my personal life for the local school. Where does it help my kids most? Home or school? I find the balance when possible and do both (or neither sometimes, if truth be told!) Good for you for drawing a line in the sand. You've put in your time. You can send a box of cookies once in awhile or something.The older your kids get (middle school, esp), the less they want to see you at school. Sad, but true. My husband used to accuse me of volunteering for everything, until I showed him the sign-up sheet for volunteers, with the few x's I made. Time is a very precious commodity, and I picked and chose the few things I REALLY wanted to do and thought I was kind of good at. I purposely stayed away from PTA mtgs (SO hard to say no in person!). I did take on some big tasks at times, sometimes alllll alone. My thanks? At the last PTA mtg of the yr, when my youngest was graduating from 6th grade and after I'd spent 18 years volunteering at this school, I was given .... drumroll ... a bookmark. I don't volunteer for the pay (what pay?), but that really hurt (and I hope that PTA prez reads this). Geez, how hard would it have been to hand-write a thank you note? Pat yourself on the back, skip the PTA mtgs, and stay at home to oversee your kids' homework, etc. And DON'T volunteer again unless you really-really feel like you want to do this.
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