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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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No mom can be perfect, right?
That said, I’ve really just had one major rule for myself. Just one. When I do have my bad mom moments, when I screw up and fear our kids are forever damaged (over dramatic, I know) never, ever leave behind evidence.
No cameras. No video. No letters, nothing.
When toddler tried to climb out a house window last year, and was so quick he had half his body outside before I screamed, went crazy and fell down four stairs to grab him, someone could have grabbed a camera. Looking back, it was kind of cute, except the whole idea of the right half of his body outside the house. (BTW, it was a low window only about two inches from the ground, so we‘re not talking near death or anything.)
But, everyone knows the rule. No evidence. Nothing that we can look at years from now and say what a horrible mom I was at that moment. Good rule, huh?
Well, I’ve blown it. Not only do we have photographic evidence, but so will everyone at my son’s school. Anyone who buys a yearbook, that is.
All I had to do is send oldest to school in his sixth-grade shirt. A specially designed shirt heralding their last year in elementary school. It’s black, with red and white, and it’s cool.
He’d wear the shirt like the 74 other sixth graders and they’d have their class pictures taken. Also one of the whole grade. They would be one united front.
I was so aware of this photo for the past few months that I wouldn’t let oldest wear the shirt so it wouldn’t get faded or a hole in it. We had to preserve the shirt.
Fat lotta good that did us.
I just plumb forgot. Lots of things have been going on in our family the past month, my mind has been consumed with non-school picture stuff, and I totally spaced out the teacher’s reminder.
So, he goes to school Tuesday not wearing the shirt. No order form for the class picture, either. Oh Hell, when were we suppose to order the yearbooks?
I screwed it all up. Poor oldest stood there in a black and gray long-sleeved polo shirt.
“At least I wore a shirt with black in it,” he says, trying to ease my mortified mind.
A handful of kids also forgot. But that doesn’t matter.
I’m sure their moms don’t have the rule. No evidence. No photos. No reminders of bad mom moments.
If this is your first offense, say Angelina Jolie 3 times and clean a toilet. If this is a continuing set of offenses, say Erma Bombeck as the clock strikes the hour, every hour for a full day, read a chapter from one of her books and make your children rub your feet. This should cure your belief you should be without sin as a mom.I say it's the school's fault. They should have put a sticker on your kid's back the day before so you could remember. It worked in preschool.One word for you, Laura: PHOTOSHOP! But, if there's a special dress code for pics, I agree with Kate that the school should have been helping to remind parents.I have been there! Bought a book for dd for the visit of an illustrator to her school. Didn't let her look at it, didn't even crack the spine. Put it up on a shelf. The day came, and I forgot to put it in dd's backpack. Don't beat yourself up. Besides...who really wants to look identical in a photo??? :DAw, bummer. Try to look at it this way: it'll only matter to your kid for a few minutes. It'll only eat YOU up for years and years. Mother guilt is healthy, right? If so, I'm the healthiest person on the face of the earth!!!Great blog! I would feel horrid, too, but don't forget that this counts as a "good mom" learning moment--not for you to learn, but for your son to take responsibility. See? You're a great mom for allowing your son to be in control of his stuff (especially things that aren't a really big deal in the scheme of things.) It's not a bad thing, it's good! AND there's evidence...Just tell everyone you did it on purpose.
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