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OK. Maybe this mom wasn’t being mean. Maybe she was saying something nice when I caught her basically pointing me out to someone and then saying something in a whisper. A very loud whisper. A compliment, maybe?
Yeah, I doubt that too. And I must say it has me totally nuts.
What would you do? Just laugh it off? Say something mean under your breath? Or, do what I’ve done and obsess like a crazy woman wondering what it was she could have said.
I keep replaying it in my mind. Yes, I told you, I’m insane.
Here we were getting to my son’s late football game, all excited the night was perfect and toddler seemed to be in a good mood. Husband stopped at the fence to watch kickoff and toddler pulled me closer to the stands.
As we walked by a group of parents, I noticed a woman to my right grab this girl’s arm to get her attention. She couldn’t wait to tell her something.
“She‘s the one who … ” the woman whispered, in the kind of whisper that could wake a sleeping houseful of people, as she nodded at me.
And wouldn’t you know it, toddler pulled me away so fast I didn’t hear the rest of the sentence. I’ll never know what comes after the “who.”
I’m the one who did what? I kept thinking.
Did I yell too loudly one game? (Nope, I’m not a yeller, just a cheerer) Had she noticed that I accidentally yelled out “Good Job, Honey,” once when oldest got a tackle? (Yeah, that’s a rookie mistake, but come on? Is it worthy of pointing me out to another person?)
I quickly told another mom there that I know really well. By this time I’m thinking I need therapy.
My friend came to the rescue, like any good friend would, offering a number of non-negative things the woman could have been talking about. But of course she hadn’t witnessed the sense of disgust in the woman’s voice.
“Maybe she was saying, ‘she’s the one with the cute haircut?” was one thing my friend offered.
Nope, wasn’t the haircut. But … Maybe it WAS the hair.
My hair was (and still is) recovering from a bad dye experience a couple of weeks ago - still a creepy, Goth black in front and a more conservative-mom brown in the back.
So the rest of the game, I was convinced it was the hair. I tucked as much as I could behind my ears, hoping to hide as much black as I could.
On the way home, I looked to husband for encouragement. Little did he know my insanity had just begun.
“Maybe it was my panty lines?” I blurted out in the car. “Remember that week when I thought my pants were too tight? I’m sure I had panty lines.”
Husband just laughed.
“Oh, wait,” I yelled. “Wasn’t she the lady handing out candy last week for every touchdown?”
I took two pieces in all and tucked them into my purse to give our youngest when we got home. Maybe she thought that was piggish or something.
Throughout the night, I just rattled off possibilities. It wasn’t pretty. I don’t know how kids handle all this.
Maybe, next week, I’ll be the lady who goes up and asks how the sentence really ends.
Crazy?
I was thinking the same thing as Annie. But, back to the mean girls...we're really struggling with this here. Why can't people just be nice? Is it really that hard?I think the same thing,you're the M2M lady. As far as mean ppl...they're usually very insecure and act that way to keep you from noticing their flaws, not that it works.You know what I like to do when that kind of stuff happens? Catch the lady's eye and then wink at her. Kill them with kindness, that's my mantra. Not that I do it, but that's my mantra. One of them.HOw do we let people get to us so good. I would have felt the same way. We keep getting older but those chilish like feeling just keep staying there. We always want peoples approval and when we feel we are not getting it it hurts us. Sorry and I hope they were just saying ...who...is on m2m. Maybe they were liking you were cool for being on a wesite and they wished they could...jealous.I was thinking the same thing as Annie. But, back to the mean girls...we're really struggling with this here. Why can't people just be nice? Is it really that hard?My first thought was also what Annie said. I've stopped telling people I meet that we moved here from Switzerland because I did it once in conversation at work, as living in Europe was the topic....and this woman at the table blurted out "Are you SWISSMOM???!!!" I was lucky that she was nice, but my heart stopped for a second and I thought, oh my god....it's ***** and she's here to kill me!!!" It was kind of a weird feeling to be known through a web site. But like I said, she was very nice and complimentary, but it could have just as easily gone the other way...You're the Mom who's not afraid to put herself out there every week and share. You're the Mom that has the courage and guts to talk about things that others won't. You're the Mom that really shouldn't care about the other Mom at the football game. She was probably talking about how fabulous you are.I agree with the other moms, I'm sure she was just saying you were the gal from mom2mom who writes great blogs! :)Katie: Love the eye wink suggestion. Laura: I think "that mom" was an admiring mom. She singled you out for a reason. We know your honest, caring parenting style from your posts, so there's nothing in your background, a la "Desperate Housewives," to think otherwise, right?Winking wouldn't work for me :), but it is a good idea. How about a big thumbs up or a swat on the behind? A little gunslinger thing where you point your finger? I AM KIDDING.This is very important....read this.... Here is my take on mean girl's. First and foremost I never wanted my daughter to grow up to be a "mean girl". That is a given. I have always told my daughter "use your powers for good, not evil". This is so important for girl's to hear from their mother's. Women have such great powers and we all need to use the "FOR GOOD THINGS". We need to set a good example for our children. My next comment is this "Mean people suck". That is a given. I pray that my daughter will never have to experience mean girl's, but I am afraid it is inevitable. I don't understand, nor will I ever understand mean girl's. I don't understand the concept of mean comments. Somewhere in the background of mean people they have been hurt and I think want to pass it on to others. I have actually left a great job because of a mean girl. It didn't bother me so much that she was mean to me, but it really bothered my how mean she was to other girl's in the office. That is when I decided mean people suck. I am sorry about your experience and I think the woman is just mean. Remember the meek shall inherit the earth.Can you believe I'm so neurotic I didn't even consider she may be saying the blog thing? For being an optimist, I sure do rush to the negative at times. I mean I've been worried about panty lines for two days now. (And thank goodness for all you insightful moms. I should have blogged Saturday night and I may have salvaged my Sunday, ha,ha) But I will say I now realize I'm much more weak skinned than I thought. Must work on that...Well, Laura, I was reading along and so ready to post my comment telling you that you're a famous blogger and that's why you were recognized. But then I scrolled down to these comments and saw EVERYONE beat me to it! I'm sure that was it. Some people! I mean, really? Pointing and whispering when you are 30something or 40something years old? Sheesh.Gotta go along with kady on this one. Pointing and whispering is so 8th grade. Or 4th grade. Or maybe 1st grade. It's certainly not adult. And I like to think that if I were going to say something nice about someone in that person's presence, I would just go ahead and say it right to her!I agree with kate kill em with kindness.... I always tell my kids kindness will always far outweigh meanness.I agree with kate kill em with kindness.... I always tell my kids kindness will always far outweigh meanness.Well, see...now you're famous. I have a feeling that it was something like this, "she's the one who blogs on M2M." Now that you've been outed in public, plan to endure more spectacles of the plain folk catching a glimpse of a celebrity. Perhaps you could have waved when you saw them talking about you. Still kinda laughing about the winking not working for Annie, though ;)Now that you're famous, start going to WalMart etc in your jammie pants so the whole world thinks it's perfectly ok. You can be our trend setter!...and then I'm not the only one!!!Don't fret over it as you're a great mom & a great person!! (From what I've read anyway :oP) But seriously, try to just move on or you'll make yourself crazy. Do you really care what someone who gossips thinks of you? Probably not, eh? You rock - don't worry about that loser!Walk up to her and say, Yes, and I'm also the one who......And make sure it's something scandalous!!! : )Well, I started the day off with comments so I will also end it. I believe there are alot of women out there who point and make fun. I had to google panty line -- is that something women really worry about? Really? I am so oblivious. So oblivious. No, they probably saw your face out here and got you mixed up with the columnist who raised a storm ranting on minivans and older women. Me, I could give a rats ass what you drive. If you have a panty line. If you got a little too much color... we all have dear. Are you smart? That's what matters.Love it! Your blogs always make me laugh! What a fantastic way to point out how we can be so positive when it comes to others, but when it comes to us, so many of us zoom in on the negative. I agree the woman was surely talking about M2M and it most likely wasn't negative, just that she was "whispering" and it seemed sneaky. Is it that you feel vain if you assume it's a positive comment? I think we were inadvertently taught that as girls from the 70s and before.Laura, I am REALLY sorry that happened to you. Really don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Seriously though, that kind of thing has happened to me. You need to let it roll off your back like rain, and realize you will not have much to do with that person. You do not have to put yourself in that kind of negative situation. Then go on with life in that positive way you usually do.Bottom line, she probably WAS saying something nasty. There is always at least one (unfortunatly usually more then one. . .) But you can't it bother you. . .the only thing you can do it to make sure you are not the one pointing at her (or others) one day. Maybe we can just end the name calling once and for all! We all need to remember that what we say and do has an impact on others! Sorry you had this experience, but don't let it bother you! We love you and appreciate you. . .even when you take 2 pieces of candy! LOL
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