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Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
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mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
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Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
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Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
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OK. Maybe not a full-out smack, but for sure a finger thump to the head. Not too hard, just enough to leave a bit of a sting.
And if you’ve ever been to a kid’s football, soccer, baseball -- you name the sport -- game you might know what I’m talking about.
Last year, as my son’s football team lost every football game it played, I could hear parents from the other team screaming at the refs over a call they didn’t like, profusely yelling at their kids to block and tackle more.
Gee, when you’re up 30-40 points you’d think you could kick your feet back and relax some.
I also a heard a dad last year trying to motivate a player by telling him his brother had scored a lot of points in another game that day and he didn’t want his brother to outshine him, did he? Nothing wrong with a little sibling rivalry, maybe, but for a parent to imply that one kid’s athletic performance on a given day could somehow put him a peg or two above his brother just doesn’t seem healthy.
Looking back, that guy deserved a finger thump.
Then there was this weekend, the granddaddy of all times where I wanted to just smack a parent. A couple actually. From where I stood, on a perfect fall afternoon watching our sixth-grader’s first tackle football game of the season, I could see a dad pace the sidelines, questioning just about every decision, play and substitution his son’s coach made. He’d yell when there weren’t enough players on the field and threw a fit every time there were too many.
Finger thump.
If it was just one parent that be one thing, but there seemed to be something about this guy’s negative energy that was contagious, and at least a couple of other parent’s seemed to be feeding off it. One even threw in a couple of carefully chosen curse words, which was a nice touch.
Thump.
I guess this is all pretty mild in the world of sideline parents, considering the stories that make the news every so often: the videotaped fights that break out, or the occasional dad that sprints out onto the field to confront a coach, or a ref, or even one of the players.
But just watching and listening to all of this, I was as tense as anything. I wanted the kids to score, just so the dad wouldn’t keep pacing, throwing his hands up in disgust.
I found myself whispering to my husband the whole time, complaining about the complainer, and rolling my eyes every chance I got.
And then wishing, just wishing, I could just smack some parents.
It's so sad, isn't it? And that's the example that he is setting for his son. The one that he can't take back and probably will continue to set -- unless he has a wife who will "thump" some sense into him for behaving like a jerk at that game. I have been continually amazed at the behavior of some parents at sporting events over the years (from both our own team and the opposing team). On the whole, we've been blessed with pretty good sports, but every now and then, you get one of those zingers...the one who needs the good thump. And there's something about football, too, where the ref's seem to tolerate more of that poor sportsmanship than in other sports. I'm not sure why that is, but it's too bad because that just means the guy will keep getting away with it. Hang in there. One of the things I've found that at least makes me feel better in those situations is to cheer for that person's kid. It surprises the heck out of the offending parent, and sometimes even gets them to shape up. Good luck!How about non-parents? DSD's first soccer game was this last w/e. She is 6 next week. DH's sister was sitting there the whole time...."c'mon Grace, kick her a**, throw her an elbow. They may not be keeping score, but we are." I sooooooooo wanted to smack her!!!So, I have never been in this situation as a parent. But I have as a player. My sister and I were both very intense athletes and I was the younger of us. There was a lot of pressure, but there was nothing that was said to me that I was not already thinking myself. I think there is a difference in that we never played at a non-competitive level, also, my parents would never have challenged the coaches. It is sad that this guy needs to be reminded of basic rules of a polite society. If he thinks that his kid is that great and he knows so much, he should take his kid, form his own team, and be forced to take personal responsibility for the humiliating losses his team will suffer. Instead, this way, he can leave the game, tell his kid how great he is, that the coach is a bonehead, and he just has to keep trying to carry the team on his shoulders. That should do a lot for his psyche.I think this somewhat depends on where you lived and what is deemed acceptable. Around here, I find that people are not as crazy because our kids go to school together, but more importantly the person's kid you're dissing may be your bosses! Look around the stands in Blue Valley and your next employer, or current one, may be watching you. I'm a very enthusiastic coach but I never encourage my kids to do anything regarding the other team.... it's all about what are WE doing. I have however seen more of this in boys sports and girls basketball. Boys... I find myself repulsed by those who encourage the dogpile and the running up of the score. Some day we might be on the other endI often want to thump every person in the world! My boys don't do sports but I have wanted to thump many of my boys' classmates' parents, theatre parents, PTA parents, Scout parents - you name 'em, I wanna thump 'em! My "put-up-with-BS" factor is very, very low....who knows I may just thump you! Kidding...sorta...Oh yes definitely. I am a football mom and the way some of those parents act/react is appalling. Come on, this isn't the NFL and there is no talent scouts at a little league football game. I was at my son's first tournament of the year Saturday and some of those parents ridicule, bribe, shout, everything. It's completely ridiculous. Thank goodness we have a wonderful coach who is not only teaching the kids the fundamentals but also the definition of team work. He will also NOT tolerate parents being unruly.Where we lived before, you had a culture of fathers and uncles and grandfathers living through their kids. It was appalling at times. Screaming, yelling, grabbing facemasks and getting in their child's face- and these were little b oys (6 and 7!) playing tackle football! My husband and I are very competative people, and we want DS to do his best- but the level at which many of these parents take it to is mindboggling.I only saw this type of thing coming from parents or other family members once when my DS played baseball, but one year he had a coach who was so TERRIBLE that my boy never played again. He had played for three or four years, and he LOVED baseball, but one lousy coach ruined it for him. The man somehow had it in his head that these boys were headed for the pros, so he made a lot of stupid rules and talked to them like they were dirt. He scheduled practice at 5:30--the same time I got off work--and then benched my son for being late to practice. It broke my heart to see something my son loved so much being trashed because of one wannabe's ego. Forget smacking--I wanted to take a bat to that idiot's head!!!! That was four years ago, and I'm still furious over it.I'm not much of a sports fan, but my kids are jocks. So I just try to yell positive stuff. But once, when our older son was playing baseball for a former friend and coach, Joe made an error in a game. He was 10. The coach ripped him up one side and down another during the game. Joe just stood at shortstop, hanging his head. So when he finished his tirade, I stood up and yelled, "That's all right, Joe. Everyone makes mistakes. It's a TEAM sport." And the coach looked back at me like he'd like to thump me. We let Joe finish the season, but he will never, ever play for that man again. We're not friends with the family anymore, either. I just won't tolerate that stuff. These are kids, for Christ's sake. And frankly, the chance that any of them will ever even play a sport in college is pretty small. I wish some parents would put more effort into their kids' academics because they have a better chance of becoming a lawyer or doctor than a professional athlete.
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