advertisement
-
Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
- read more
mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
- read more
-
I recently interviewed the parents of a young woman killed last year and they both said they talk of her often. They say her name all the time and want others to do that as well.
To not say her name, or talk of her, they said, is like saying she never existed.
On this Father’s Day I realize how important that is.
My dad’s been gone 15 months now. He died at the age of 59 from an acute overindulgence of all the good things in life - the “good things” for him being all the things, of course, that are bad for you. Too much smoking, too much drinking and too much snacking on Little Debbies and any other fattening food at 3 a.m. while on the road as a traveling sales supervisor. His body just gave out.
But you know, it’s like he’s still always around.
That’s because we keep him around, something my husband and I and my sister have vowed to do, not just for us but for his two grandkids.
The oldest talks of how “Grandpa Ted,” was the happiest person he has ever met. That he was always “jolly” as my son put it and always loved the hoopla of any special day. He also loved Hamburger Helper, my son recalls, and taught him how there was no bad day that couldn’t be made better with a “Red Cow.” (You know, a few scoops of vanilla ice cream with red cream soda poured over it.)
When we were talking about Grandpa Ted today, sharing all the things he had taught us, the oldest said he couldn’t wait until his brother got old enough so he could tell him stories. And make him a Red Cow.
My husband and I talk about how my dad had this undying notion that he would win the lottery one day and how I kind of inherited that lovely naiveté. I now buy Powerball tickets twice a week just to carry out his tradition. We also buy lottery scratch-off tickets on special “dad” days like his birthday and Christmas and use a coin to scratch them off very slowly, just like he did. The slower you did the scratching the more luck that would come your way, he would say. Let's just say the slow scratching never really helped him much.
Life without him is still pretty hard, though.
My husband didn’t get a Father’s Day card this year, can’t face the rows of cards just yet. I also can’t listen to Oldies. Not ready to hear the first chords of a song from 1962 - or any year from the early 1950s to the late 1960s for that matter - and imagine my dad going, “Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!” and then reciting the name of the song, the artist and how much he paid for the record back when he had a whole lot of hair.
And I’ve been crying off and on from 3:30 Friday afternoon until tonight about the death of Tim Russert.
Dad was a news junkie. And nobody was better than Tim in his book. If Tim had some good guests -- the Clintons were his favorites -- he’d sacrifice his morning radio shows and sit and watch.
He fashioned himself like Mr. Russert, a good Catholic guy from a working class family who liked a good glass of beer and loved doing what he was doing.
I too became a Russert fan, a pretty big one. I loved how he loved his family, how he had integrity in a business where people often lack it and how he could ask a tough question not to make himself look good but so the average viewer could know the answer.
And I know if Dad were here we would have talked for hours and hours about his death. Instead, I sat for hours watching the TV coverage and on air eulogies, crying all the while.
Crying not just for the hole his absence will leave in politics and journalism but for another guy, my dad, who also died way too early.
So on this father’s day, I said my dad’s name a lot. We all did. And my son and I sat in the car - on our way to take him to see his dad - scratching off our lottery tickets. My son took the quarter and did the scratching pretty slow.
One $2 ticket for me and my husband. One ticket for the two grandsons and another for my sister.
Sorry, dad, didn’t win a dime.
Maybe next year.
My dad has been gone for 17 years. Every year I look at the Father's Day cards and see which one I would have bought. I try to bring him to life for both my DH and DDs who will never know him in this life. I tell them about all the silly little things he liked and did. Stories about his childhood as a poor country boy in small town OK. Now my older DD will sometimes say, "I bet my Pa-Pa would have liked that joke!" And I smile and turn to hide my tears that he never knew her. The missing will get better, but it never truly goes away.what a beautiful tribute to your dad. Sounds like a heckuva guy. My husband lost his dad 16 months ago (our beloved PawPaw) and we talk about him constantly. It was such a blow to the whole family to lose him. The kids probably talk about him more than we do. It's so hard to go through these holidays without him, but it always makes us smile to remember him and how wonderful he was.Loved it! Your kids will feel like they know their grandpa, even if they don't have first-hand memories. It's so fun to have daily connections that will forever trigger good memories, like any lottery sign or hearing a song or making a milk shake. I love to remember my mom daily with the little things-- not into the big memorial stuff. While it may be hard still for you, eventually it will just be good memories, and not so painful (like Father's Day cards.) You're a good mom for keeping your kids connected to their grandpa, even if it's hard for you.
May 2013 Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Tagsmoms (38)
teens (34)
tweens (27)
toddlers (22)
school (18)
kids (17)
christmas (14)
boys (12)
parenting (10)
toddler (10)
mom (9)
parents (9)
family (8)
friends (8)
birthdays (6)
children (6)
discipline (6)
money (6)
teenagers (6)
economy (5)
facebook (5)
girls (5)
kindergarten (5)
mom moments (5)
shopping (5)
stress (5)
video games (5)
anxiety (4)
diet (4)
fashion (4)
holidays (4)
husbands (4)
santa (4)
sons (4)
sports (4)
talking (4)
teachers (4)
apple (3)
babies and toddlers (3)
books (3)
chores (3)
coupons (3)
crazy (3)
dad (3)
dads (3)
divorce (3)
driving (3)
exercise (3)
flirting (3)
football (3)
ipad (3)
junior high (3)
lessons (3)
marriage (3)
michael phelps (3)
obama (3)
peer pressure (3)
preschool (3)
sex (3)
sleep (3)
steve jobs (3)
tantrums (3)
worry (3)
brad pitt (2)
bragging (2)
church (2)
class (2)
conferences (2)
craigslist (2)
dancing (2)
death (2)
dogs (2)
embarrassing (2)
emergency room (2)
family time (2)
fat (2)
fighting (2)
finances (2)
fits (2)
fitting in (2)
food (2)
google (2)
guardians (2)
guilt (2)
haircuts (2)
high school (2)
homework (2)
husband (2)
internet (2)
joplin (2)
karma (2)
license (2)
losing weight (2)
manners (2)
mccain (2)
mean (2)
men (2)
olympics (2)
phobias (2)
pictures (2)
presents (2)
questions (2)
saving money (2)
scary (2)
spelling bee (2)
stubborn (2)
style (2)
summer (2)
teacher (2)
teen (2)
toys (2)
tv (2)
vanity (2)
weight loss (2)
wii (2)
wills (2)
writing (2)
(1)
16 (1)
40th (1)
911 (1)
accents (1)
acne (1)
activities (1)
add (1)
addiction (1)
advice (1)
affection (1)
afraid (1)
airplanes (1)
alcohol (1)
allow (1)
anger (1)
apologizing (1)
appreciation (1)
arguments (1)
art (1)
autism (1)
babies (1)
babysitter (1)
babysitting (1)
back to school (1)
backsnacks (1)
bad cop (1)
bad luck (1)
bad mom moments (1)
band (1)
bathroom (1)
beer (1)
belief (1)
belongings (1)
birth (1)
birthday (1)
blogging (1)
body image (1)
bones (1)
bosses (1)
bottoms (1)
bribery (1)
broken bones (1)
brothers (1)
budget (1)
butts (1)
cameras (1)
candy (1)
car keys (1)
carnies (1)
carnivals (1)
cartoons (1)
cheap (1)
cheating (1)
chemistry (1)
childhood hunger (1)
christmas cards (1)
christmas spirit (1)
chubby (1)
cleaning (1)
cleavage (1)
clinton (1)
clothes (1)
clutter (1)
cnn (1)
coaches (1)
cold turkey (1)
comic books (1)
commercialism (1)
commitments (1)
communication (1)
competitive (1)
computers (1)
conference (1)
consoling (1)
cooking (1)
coupon policies (1)
creativity (1)
criticism (1)
crutches (1)
curiosity (1)
custody (1)
dances (1)
date night (1)
daughters (1)
deals (1)
decorations (1)
demi moore (1)
dentists (1)
development (1)
diet coke (1)
dinner (1)
dinner table (1)
dinosaurs (1)
discounts (1)
diseases (1)
drama (1)
dreams (1)
dresses (1)
drinking (1)
dying (1)
eating out (1)
education (1)
election (1)
embarrassing moments (1)
emotional (1)
examples (1)
exhausted (1)
failure (1)
fathers (1)
fear (1)
first day (1)
first day of school (1)
first words (1)
fitness (1)
flu (1)
focus (1)
food costs (1)
forgetfulness (1)
frankenweenie (1)
frugal (1)
frustration (1)
fun (1)
funny (1)
games (1)
garden (1)
gardening (1)
gary lezak (1)
gas prices (1)
gifts (1)
girl (1)
girlfriends (1)
good cop (1)
goth (1)
grades (1)
grammar (1)
grandmas (1)
grandparents (1)
graphic novel (1)
grateful (1)
gray hair (1)
groceries (1)
guys (1)
hair (1)
hair dye (1)
haircut (1)
hairstyle (1)
halloween (1)
hanging out (1)
happiness (1)
healthy (1)
helicopter moms (1)
helmets (1)
heroes (1)
history (1)
hobbies (1)
holiday cards (1)
homecoming (1)
hoodies (1)
hooters (1)
hospice (1)
household chores (1)
how to (1)
hugs (1)
humiliation (1)
humor (1)
hungry (1)
ice (1)
imaginary friends (1)
imagination (1)
immunizations (1)
indiana (1)
indulge (1)
interests (1)
joe biden (1)
journey (1)
junk food (1)
kansas city (1)
kavya shivashankar (1)
kenny rogers (1)
kindness (1)
kisses (1)
labor (1)
late (1)
layoffs (1)
lazy (1)
learning (1)
lena (1)
library (1)
lindsey vonn (1)
long hair (1)
losing (1)
loss (1)
lost (1)
love (1)
love you (1)
mail (1)
makeover (1)
markers (1)
math (1)
matt lauer (1)
memories (1)
messy rooms (1)
michelle obama (1)
mistake (1)
mom guilt (1)
mom2mom (1)
moments (1)
mommy and daddy time (1)
morning (1)
mother-in-law (1)
mothers (1)
motivation (1)
mourning (1)
movies (1)
music (1)
nagging (1)
naked (1)
names (1)
neighbors (1)
neil diamond (1)
neurotic (1)
new year (1)
news (1)
nice (1)
night light (1)
night out (1)
nightmares (1)
no (1)
occupations (1)
old (1)
old-fashioned (1)
opinions (1)
outsmarted (1)
overprotective (1)
ozarks (1)
parade (1)
paranoid (1)
parent involvement (1)
parent involvment (1)
parent-teacher conference (1)
parties (1)
passing gas (1)
passion (1)
peeing (1)
peers (1)
pets (1)
photo (1)
photos (1)
please (1)
polite (1)
politeness (1)
politics (1)
potty (1)
pre teen (1)
preschooler (1)
president (1)
presidents (1)
principals (1)
procrastinating (1)
prom (1)
pto (1)
puberty (1)
punishment (1)
quitting (1)
raise (1)
reading (1)
regrets (1)
relationships (1)
remove tag (1)
resolutions (1)
respect (1)
responsibility (1)
road trip (1)
rude (1)
running (1)
running off (1)
ryan lochte (1)
santa claus (1)
sarah palin (1)
saving (1)
savings (1)
school clothes (1)
school dances (1)
scooby (1)
security blanket (1)
self confidence (1)
self help (1)
self-improvement (1)
sensitive (1)
sexting (1)
shooting (1)
short shorts (1)
shy (1)
sibling rivalry (1)
sick (1)
single mom (1)
single moms (1)
skiing (1)
smiling (1)
smurfberries (1)
smurfs-village (1)
snow (1)
socializing (1)
southwest missouri (1)
speech (1)
spirit (1)
spoiling (1)
sportmanship (1)
spying (1)
status (1)
stinky (1)
stitches (1)
strangers (1)
studying (1)
success (1)
sugar (1)
surveys (1)
susan boyle (1)
swearing (1)
swimming (1)
swimsuit (1)
tact (1)
talent (1)
talkers (1)
tantrum (1)
tardy (1)
target (1)
teaching moments (1)
teen driving (1)
teenage boys (1)
television (1)
temper (1)
terminal (1)
tests (1)
texting (1)
texts (1)
thank-you notes (1)
the great depression (1)
the today show (1)
therapy (1)
thighs (1)
thin girls (1)
tim russert (1)
tornado (1)
tornadoes (1)
tragedies (1)
training (1)
traveling (1)
trayvon martin (1)
trips (1)
trouble (1)
ugly (1)
vacation (1)
vacations (1)
vaccines (1)
video (1)
violence (1)
volunteeing (1)
volunteering (1)
walt disney world (1)
weather (1)
wedding rings (1)
weekends (1)
weight (1)
weight gain (1)
weight watchers (1)
winning (1)
wives (1)
women (1)
words (1)
working (1)
working mom (1)
workplace (1)
worlds of fun (1)
wrestling (1)
x-mas (1)
yelling (1)
yo gabba gabba (1)
younger guy (1)
zuckerberg (1)