Last week the airwaves were awash with the story of Phoebe Prince, the Massachusetts teen bullied so relentlessly at school that she killed herself. 

For the last several seasons, millions have tuned in to watch American Idol and the mean-spirited Simon Cowell, who can’t wait to tear down the contestants.  

And then this week, I hear on a morning news show about the web site Unvarnished.com, a nasty little thing taking up space on the Internet that lets adults write malicious, possibly untrue things about their bosses and co-workers for potential employers to read. 

Stop the madness! 

I’m all for freedom of speech, but it comes with responsibility. Yet the Internet allows people to spout off the worst things imaginable and remain anonymous. And like the joy of making prank calls in the days before *69, existing in cyberspace with nothing more than a cute screen name gives you absolute power of the virtual pen. And we all know what absolute power does, right? Say it together: It corrupts absolutely. 

From the spiteful, ugly words hurled at politicians debating the recent health-care reform bill to the meanness of talk radio and TV – on both sides of the political aisle – to such time-sucking reality fare as Jersey Shore and Bad Girls, behaving badly seems not only tolerated but also encouraged. 

Enough! I say. It’s time to wash some mouths out with soap. And maybe spank a few rear ends while we’re at it (figuratively speaking, of course, because I don’t condone violence. See previous blogs.) 

Don’t you think all this public vitriol swirling around wherever you go is making your job as parent that much harder?  

As if parents of schoolchildren didn’t already have to worry about bullying in school and on the playground. That’s been around since Cain and Abel. But now you’ve got to contend with bullying by texting, by Facebook and MySpace, by Twitter, by e-mail. 

My first reaction is, my kids won’t participate in any of that. Yet I know that’s not any more realistic than me keeping them off the playground all together. 

Pretty much since she started middle school, my niece has dealt with the Mean Girls. Her class is particularly rife with them, according to a few off-the-record comments from some teachers. And my niece, a free spirit who paradoxically wants to be “in” with the It Girls, is an easy target. 

She’s been picked on by text. She’s been messed with on Facebook. And last week, her tormentors pushed her around until she stormed out of soccer practice and smarted off to her coach, a surefire way to get yourself benched for the next game. And that, of course, was what the Mean Girls wanted. 

My sister and brother-in-law are doing what they can but don’t want to fight all her battles – that just makes things worse sometimes. And I sit there watching, thinking that those girls who are It in eighth-grade often lose their luster as high school wears on. And by the time they make it back to their 20^th reunions, they’re barely recognizable. At least in my experience. 

But you can tell that to an eighth grader until you’re blue in the face, and she won’t get it. No one gets it until you make it into your late 20s. I actually bought my niece the move 13 Going on 30 a few years back, hoping she’d pick up on the message. But all she got out of it was that Jennifer Garner is so cute, and the clothes were so cool.  

Anyway, kids behaving badly are not news, true, but I have to think that they’re getting the message that it’s OK, despite programs and school curricula that emphasize otherwise. And I think they’re getting that message from the place they get every other message – the adults in their lives. 

Maybe they see their parents watching reality shows with malevolent, anti-heroic characters like Survivor or The Apprentice. Maybe they actually pay attention to the news and see politicians like John Boehner hurling viciousness toward the president. Maybe they watch Jersey Shore unchecked. 

The more you’re around abhorrent behavior or are exposed to ugliness, the more you become desensitized. It’s true and provable by a type of behavioral therapy called systemic desensitization. Psychologists use this technique to help patients overcome phobias and anxiety by gradually exposing the patient to that which scares them. I know it works because my son’s psychologist used it on him, and he’s no longer afraid of spiders. 

So I think we as adults have been desensitized to the hatred and meanness and disrespect swirling around us these days, and we in turn are contributing to the desensitization of our young. 

Let’s stop it. Now. Personally, I took the Civility Pledge, part of the Civility Project begun by a guy named Mark DeMoss after the ire spewed during the last presidential election. An evangelical Christian, Southern Baptist and Mitt Romney supporter, DeMoss nevertheless was abhorred by how Barack Obama was treated at times during the 2008 election.  

The Civility Pledge is simple: 

·         I will be civil in my public discourse and behavior.

·         I will be respectful of others whether or not I agree with them.

·         I will stand against incivility when I see it. 

All you have to do to take this pledge is to visit this web site: www.civilityproject.org.  

And then spread the word. Everywhere I go, I see bumper stickers and signs urging us to “Take back our country.” Well, let’s start by being nicer to each other.