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Jim Cosgrove
on Sep 9 2010 - 06:00 AM
Please turn off the "idiot box" and pass the syrup.
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Margo Posnanski
on Sep 7 2010 - 06:00 AM
We as Worry Warts or Why Willy Wonka Reminds Me of Drugs
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Tasha Fabela-Jonas
on Sep 3 2010 - 06:00 AM
Hey YOU, Sperm. And YOU, Madame Egg, hurry it up already!
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Deb Clem-Buckert
on Sep 1 2010 - 12:00 PM
Silly Bands, Purple Bracelets, Leukemia and Lots of Inspiration!
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Laura Bauer
on Aug 30 2010 - 06:00 AM
What do you mean you want to hang out with your family?
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Kady McMaster
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The Gerber Ultra Flush...come to Mama
I never thought I could love a toilet so much.
Ahhhh….the Gerber Ultra Flush.
I don’t even know this toilet, but I lust after it. I dream about it. I picture its porcelain bowl in my master bath.
Much like my on-again, off-again George Clooney obsession, my toilet lust consumes me at times. But unlike my Clooney fantasy, it’s a very real possibility that the toilet of my dreams could actually end up in my home someday – if I can come up with the scratch.
I developed this case of the wants last week, thanks to my friend Mike. See, my newest toilet, the one in the master bath, has overflowed twice in two weeks.
Last Friday, I whined all over Facebook that my toilet runneth over big and bad. It regurgitated nasty water onto the white hexagonal tile and into my bedroom for about two minutes, while I screamed for my 7-year-old to grab some towels and said loud, weepy prayers to Jesus to make it stop. The kid was totally confused, since I was in the room where the towels were, and some day, when he’s older and has dealt with this in therapy, I’ll explain that Mommy was having what we call a panic attack. Plus she hates poop.
Anywho, my frantic plunging and/or the prayers worked, because it finally stopped. And then about five minutes later, my son ventured into the bathroom, where I was busy doing stop-gap cleaning until I took him to school and could return to disinfect, and announced that the ceiling in the family room was leaking.
“Mother of Pearl!” I yelled, only we’re all adults here, right? And I think we know I didn’t yell that exactly. I ran downstairs, mopped up the splatters on the wood floor, threw down some throw rugs and a plastic bowl to catch the drips and took the kiddo to school.
I was convinced there was a blockage in my pipes and that at ANY MOMENT, the thing was going to blow! So I called a plumber, who told me I was probably wrong and it was just a strange coincidence that the usually calm toilet had freaked out two weeks in a row. The unspoken comment here was, “You people are full of a lot of crap. And I mean that in the literal sense.” Only he didn’t say that in so many words.
So I whined on Facebook, and Mike came to my rescue, filling me in on the wonders of the super-flush toilet. Using very little water but the pressure of a public-school toilet, these puppies flush, I tell you. They’re miracle workers. I started doing some research. These suckers don’t come cheap – you pay for flushing power, especially these days, when powerful flushers like my 72-year-old first-floor toilet are contraband on the plumbing market. I always say you could flush a bath towel down that old toilet, which has never stopped up in the 15 years we’ve lived in this house.
But wow. The thought of a nice new toilet that could flush a big stinker along with the requisite wad of toilet paper my kids use – ooh, baby. Come to Mama.
Meanwhile, the plumber and I were star-crossed, and by the time my hubs got home, I was focusing on getting each kid where he or she needed to be, not the toilet. I hadn’t bothered to tell Hubs while he was at work about the toilet problem. What was the point? Plus, I am a woman with my own toolbox and do not need a man for these sorts of things. So I might have been a tad out of line when I jumped down his throat at 5 p.m. Friday, when he came into the kitchen with a phone and a phone book.
“I’m calling a plumber,” he said. “It looks like we’ve got a leak.”
I said something to the effect of, “Oh, really, Einstein? What was your first clue? The bucket I put there to catch the water?”
Not nice, I know.
Anyway, once I calmed down and apologized for my snarkiness, I told him about the super-flush toilet. He’s amenable to it, and we think we’re going to aim for one soon, right after we replace the 30-year-old furnace and fix the roof damaged by the ice dam and the ADHD roofer.
A plumber finally made it over on Monday. He rebuilt the innards of my toilet tank and couldn’t get the thing to back up into itself or the bathtub, as happened on Sunday. The line was clear, he said. But it wouldn’t hurt to get a super-flush toilet, he agreed with me.
Oh, baby. That’s all the encouragement I need.
We had a super flush toilet in our last rental house. It was pretty awesome and I think they last a pretty long time. I want to replace my toilet with one, because it tends to back up sometimes.Don't Hate, but my Dad insisted we buy that exact toilet for our house, I about cried....ok I did cry the day I went and picked them up, HOLY SHNICKYS that was a whopper, but like you we have a lot of poop around here. I wouldn't trade them for anything. We got them at Graham Plumbing in Raytown.I know how you feel. Close to three years ago, we were were moving. Murphy's Law, I swear, the first week we were showing the house kids' bathroom toilet overflowed and leaked to the downstairs sitting room. It was the first time that thing had ever leaked, but after that we had to be on gaurd, because the thing always seemed to be getting clogged. Good luck on your super flush!My mother has a Gerber Flush and loves it. Like you mentioned we have a 72 year old toilet so far its survived my husband. As for the septic pipes/tank, that is a differ story. When we remodel the bathroom it will be hard to determine if a new toilet will be in order. Our oldie is a goodie; toes crossed.Yo Kate, my husband is a plumber. He's a union plumber who doesn't mind doing a side job here and there. Hit me up next time you need a plumber.Omigosh, Kate, so funny! And I'd love to have one of those super-flush thingies myself. The toilet in our master bath can hardly handle a hearty pee.Mine was 195 for the handicapped one with elongated bowel, this did not include the lid that was another 25 bucks. But when we are talking about crap coming back up into your house it is way worth it. The handicapped ones are great for tall people.I wonder if I could time my drives out to H&gs house..hmm... and yes, put me on the list of she who desires a super pooper flusher.I despise our water saver toilets, you have to flush them a zillion times and end up wasteing way more water than you ever thought possible! My parents have a super flusher, and I adore it!
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