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Christi Diggs
on Feb 4 2010 - 06:00 AM
Regular cleaning...going rate, cleaning after sick child...priceless
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Deb Clem-Buckert
on Feb 3 2010 - 12:00 PM
Goodbye Tooth Fairy! (Tinkerbell, Please Stay A Little While Longer)
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Kady McMaster
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Have you ever looked at your family through someone else’s eyes?
It doesn’t always inspire a Hallmark moment, let me tell you.
We were at the Wizards game on Saturday night, and in front of us sat a nice little nuclear family. Mom and Dad looked to be in their early 30s. With them were a couple of little boys, probably around 7 or 8. I’m pretty sure only one was theirs. The other, I think, was their son’s friend.
Anywho, they already were in their seats when we found ours about 15 minutes before game time. It was chilly, so we had a few blankets. We also had some sweatshirts and our Wizards scarves. It took us a bit to get settled and figure out who shouldn’t sit next to whom.
A disclaimer: We are a loud people. Some of us are louder than others. Some of us, in fact, do a pretty good impression of that Saturday Night Live Will Ferrell character who has a voice-related medical condition called voice immodulation syndrome. And we also laugh a lot and quote out-of-context lines from movies inappropriate for 7 or 8 year olds to watch. And some of us have a little guy-crush on Jimmy Conrad, the Wizards’ team captain, and tend to yell like a little girl when we’re watching him.
So. The game started. And we started our thing. On one side of me were Matt and Tom, cheering for Jimmy and just generally talking loudly. And on the other side of me were Joe and Maggie, laughing and quoting lines and sounding a little like Beavis and Butthead.
And then the refs made what we Beems termed a bad call. And the next thing you know, I hear, “What the frick?!?”
It was Tom, the 6-year-old.
As I was whipping my head around to say, “No!” in my sternest public-mommy voice, the mom in front of me did a Linda Blair and glared at my angelic boy, who gave her a look like, “WTF?” Only thank heavens, he didn’t say that.
I felt my cheeks immediately go 10 shades of red. And I turned to Joe, who was laughing at Maggie, who had her Wizards scarf wrapped around her head a la Yasir Arafat. And she was holding up her hands in a good impression of Tricky Dick waving his hands in the peace sign.
Suddenly, I felt as if everyone in CommunityAmerica Ballpark had their eyes glued on us. You can take the kids out of the nuthouse, I was thinking, but you can’t take the nuthouse out of the kids.
After that, I was super-sensitive to our every move. I could tell that mom in front of me was looking at us out of the corner of her eye. She was annoyed. She was judging.
I hadn’t felt this way since Maggie and Joe were 1 and 2, and a nasty older woman chewed me out in a pizza restaurant because they had made messes under their chairs – messes I was cleaning up, mind you.
It was like we had this big flashing neon sign reading “BAD PARENTS” over our heads with an arrow pointing to Matt and me. I slumped as far down in my seat as I could.
With about 20 minutes left in the game, with the scored tied at 0-0, Joe asked Maggie if she wanted to go to the playground to kick around the soccer ball they’d brought.
“I want to go, too!” Tom yelled.
So Matt and I said they could. We were sitting close to that area, anyway, so we could go check on them. But as they got up to go, I saw the mom in front of me glaring, no doubt disapproving that I would let my kids go to the playground unattended.
While our kids were gone, though, I noticed something. The son of the mom in front of us started screaming into his dad’s ear. He was jumping around and just generally being rambunctious, as any kid would who’d been sitting there for more than an hour.
I felt a little judgmental satisfaction myself, until I realized that mom probably would just blame my family for being a bad influence on her little darling.
Just then, the Wizards almost got a goal. Matt yelled encouragement to Jimmy. And the mom looked back and shook her head in disgust. Matt saw me looking at her and slumping down farther in my seat, and he caught my eye and smiled.
We bad parents have to stick together.
If it is bad parenting then I am guilty. I don't encourage the language, but I know reality is, we all slip. I am no saint. I always hate that criticizing we get from other parents, whether verbal or just that patronizing look. I hadn't been divorced long when I got really, really sick and made a Dr. appt. I didn't have anyone to watch the kids, so I toted all 4 to the doctor ages 1 through 7. They were behind with patients and I was so sick I could barely move and the kids weren't really on there best behavior, mostly because it was boring. An older lady made some very snarky comments and I left in tears before I could even see the doctor. I know more now then I did then, but it stayed with me for a long time.I will be quite honest here I have a somewhat of a potty mouth.. So of course my kids here me and will repeat sometimes.. So we are all working on that.. Not a very nice thing to do but we are human. Anyway, it's so funny you posted this because we were at fall fun fest in Blue Springs. Well my daughter is 3 and does still take the binky. Believe me I want her to get rid of it but I'm a mom that doesn't push their kids I know they will do it in their own time. I hope..Anyway I had 3 people just come right out and say she needs to get that binky out her mouth. Well I had had it. Finally the last person right in front of them I told my husband the next person that says anything I"m going to tell them to mind their own F**king business.. The gall some people have.. Frankly people need to mind their own flippin business.. We all as parents try really hard(at least I think we do) to raise our kids the best we know how.. So I don't feel anyone should throw stones because parenting is very hard...My daughter (8) just stops at "What the???" - and she says it ALL the time. Sigh. I don't know if she means 'frick' or 'hell' but neither are probably appropriate! However, TECHNICALLY she's not saying anything wrong. Bad parents unite - you just feel free to let your children express themselves. The mom in front of you? She spends every waking second of her life trying to live up to the Stepford expectation she's put upon herself. Do you think she's enjoying her child or the experience that family day SHOULD have brought? Nope - she's too busy trying to be perfect.DD said shit really loudly at Osco when she was 2.......I just froze. The lady in front of me just turned around and said "Blame it on your husband,that's what I do: We had a good laugh.I'm in the bad parent club to, DD's (2 years old) new favorite phrase is "damn it". It was a mommy slip up that taught her the phrase, and I really thought she would have forgot it by now, but going on 3 weeks it is still one of her favorite things to say . . . maybe someday she will forget!My 2 year old is a "dammit" kid...but I would probably be embarrassed if he dropped an actual F bomb.DS's current favorite phrase is "damn it" and he got it from me. I know he did, as it's what I say when I yell at the dog. To his credit, he uses it in perfect context every time. So can I join the bad parent club, too?That is not bad parenting at all. We slip at our house all the time (well, not ALL the time). I try hard espcially when lil eagle ears is around. Although, I had to hear "aw shit" all the way home one evening because I had said it when I made a wrong turn. After about 10-12 times it kind of becomes funny. He got sidetracked and didn't say it again. Luckily, he has never said a curse word in public (yet).Am waiting for the day I can be so proud to announce that my dd sad a bad word. lol. no really I am, shes a slower learner. Come on vaeh your 4 now. Nope but im so surprised she hasnt said more cuss words when her mom is part sailorI hate to write this (you will probably kill me), but Rosie is nine and she still hasn't said a bad word. Once she said "Darn it" when she was relaying a story regarding her teenage cousin, but there have been no other close calls. Interesting, huh, since I can swear like a sailor. LOLVery funny! If the kids don't hear it from you they will pick it up someplace else. Not that I condone using profanity around your kids. Anyway, I'm sure that lady will someday be in your seat, slinking down even lower since she knows how she acted when it was someone else's child.This one's a bit dicey. You've GOT to be careful around children-that’s the cardinal rule thou shall not break. But these will slip out easily in unguarded passionate moments. Also, you never know where they’re picking this up from. It could actually have been the influence of some other 'bad mama's' boy! You’ve just got to take them aside later and explain that some words are not just not to be used like this and definitely not in public (that’s if you’ve not done this already!). And don’t let the judgiee junkies bully you-I redevelop my teenage ‘I-don’t-care-a-dam’ hide in such moments. Just remember to reciprocate the generosity to another one!
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