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on Sep 1 2010 - 12:00 PM
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Kady McMaster
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Sometimes I think I’ll change my name to something like “Princess” or “Your Highness.”
Then when the kids come roaring into the house in need and scream my name instead of doing 30 seconds of recon to find out where I am, they’d be yelling, “Your Hiiiiiighnessssss!” instead of “Moooommmmm!”
A girl can dream.
I have a friend who actually went through a period of only answering to “Princess Mommy.” I thought that was pretty cool. But I’m not sure it would work around here.
As it is, no matter how much I cajole and plead and threaten, they will not stop yelling my name at the tops of their lungs whenever they need me, even if I’m in the same room.
What gives with that? I know I’m not the only mom who goes through this, either. I did it to my own mom.
Back in the day, we might be in the family room watching Brady Bunch reruns and decide we were hungry. So we’d look in the refrigerator freezer for some ice cream or popsicles or frozen Schwann mini-pizzas. And if there weren’t any there, we’d wonder if there were some stashed in the deep freezer in the basement. But none of us would want to actually expend energy and walk down the basement stairs to check, so we’d figure Mom would know. So we’d just yell her name until she came running.
And let me tell you, she’d be hot by the time she got out of the bathroom and rushed to the kitchen to find us hungry and unhurt. And she’d give us a stern warning and a small lecture and maybe even throw in a bit about the boy crying wolf. And we’d say we were sorry but did she know if there was any ice cream in the deep freezer? And she’d just roll her eyes at us.
I know now that with that roll of the eyes she was secretly passing on the Curse of the Yelling Kid to us. And I plan to do the same to my own sweet children.
Last Thursday, I was taking out the trash. That was my first mistake. Inside the trash bag was a broken glass, one I’d thrown away after it had broken in the dishwasher. I forgot it was in there.
The bag was kind of heavy, and it bumped against my knee. A piece of broken glass poking out of the bag left an inch-long deep gash in my knee, and blood began gushing down my leg.
I uttered a few choice words, clamped a hand over my knee and headed for the house. I was hobbling as quickly as I could, trying to avoid the dogs, when Tom decided he needed my help with the television. So he did the only thing he could think of – he began yelling my name.
“Just a sec,” I said. “Mommy’s bleeding.”
All that got was an, “OK.” I was hoping for, “Never mind” or possibly, “Can I help?”
So I rolled my eyes and found a clean rag to hold over my knee while I called my sister to give me a ride to urgent care, where the doc sewed me up.
SOD UPDATE: On Monday, my town’s water pollution control department came to finally really fix the sink hold developing on the boulevard in front of our house. It’s been there three years.
And guess what? They dug into the sod. Yes. I’m pissed. They did roll back the sod but did a crappy job of putting it back. They said they opted to do that so they could save the street.
Ouch all around! I sure hope your knee is doing better! My DS is a toddler and he's sooooo Mommy's Boy. I can't go to the bathroom, I can't take 5 minutes quiet time in my bedroom, and I can't walk out the front door without him hurling himself after me screaming "Mama!!!!!!" So believe me when I say I feel your Screaming Child pain.Kate, this is great...sounds just like my house. My mom always told me to just wait until Im a mom...and now I see exactly what she was talking about. I love the part about the curse...that is prolly soooo true! sorry about ur knee...I think that DD learned to say mommy first just so she could keep up yelling it with her big brother! They are nice and quiet until I get in the shower then it is like they never stop screaming! Hope that you knee is doing better! And that really sucks about the sod!
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