Today begins National Child Abuse Prevention Month. And it reminds me of a story. 

When my older son was in third grade, I dropped by his school one day for lunch.  

He asked a couple friends to join us, and we went into the hallway outside the cafeteria, an area affectionately called The Café.

The boys were joking around, laughing at the stuff 8- and 9-year-old boys laugh at – boogers, flatulence, burps – when I asked one of the boys how he got a nasty bump on his head. The other two began telling me how their friend had fallen on the playground. 

That reminded me, I said,  of the time Joe had a nasty bike accident and flew over his handlebars, ending up with a shiner. Thankfully, he was wearing a helmet. 

And then the third boy shared a story of his own: He’d ended up with stitches in his head when he forgot to ride the bus home and his dad’s girlfriend had to pick him up at school. And when he’d gotten home, his dad had thrown him against the side of the house, splitting open his head. 

Joe and his other buddy just sat there, looks of incredulity on their faces, and looked at their friend, who’d finished his story and gone back to his chips. 

I knew the boy lived with a foster family in our neighborhood. “Is that why you don’t live with your dad?” I asked. He nodded.

And then he told us that he was afraid he’d have to see his dad again soon because his grandmother, his dad’s mother, was trying to get custody of him and his brother. And he didn’t want to go live with her. 

My heart was breaking as I listened to the boy. Later, I told his teacher what he’d told me, and she said she’d share it with his social worker. I called his foster mom and told her, too, but she said she was pretty sure the boy’s grandmother was going to get custody. 

I felt helpless. And his story haunted me. 

A few months later, I was driving down Interstate 70 toward the Downtown Loop, on my way to have lunch with a friend. I glanced to the south and saw a billboard advertising Jackson County’s Court Appointed Special Advocate program. “Speak Up for a Child,” the billboard said. And I thought, “Yeah, that’s what I want to do.”  

A second later, I hit the largest pothole in the history of potholes. I barely made it to an exit before one of my tires went flat. Turns out the pothole broke my axel and bent the rim of one of my wheels.  

I considered that pothole a sign from above, a message from karma, my subconscious shaking some sense into me – whatever you want to call it. But it spurred me to action. And when I got home, after seeing my car towed away and calling my husband for a ride, I signed up to become a court-appointed special advocate – a CASA. 

That was four years ago. Since then, I’ve participated in 30 hours of training and sat through endless court hearings and case-management conferences as I advocate for children whose families are in the Jackson County Family Court system. 

In Jackson County, CASAs are trained volunteers who work closely with attorneys to speak for children in family court. We visit with everyone involved in the care of the children we advocate for to make sure the kiddos are receiving everything they need, from therapy to physicals to immunizations to daycare. We make sure the children’s needs are not forgotten as they go through the court system. 

I’m on my fourth case. Some of my kiddos haven’t been the direct victims of abuse, but all are at risk. Of my four cases, three have involved parents participating in Jackson County’s Family Drug Court. That means the parents used illicit drugs, sometimes in the presence of their children. 

Some children aren’t abused themselves but have witnessed the abuse of one parent at the hand of another. Seeing something like that brings its own special needs. 

This ain’t Judging Amy. Our cases could never be distilled to an hourlong television drama, and things rarely work out perfectly. But at the end of the day, I know I’ve done all I could to try to make a difference in a child’s life. 

And I can only hope that some day, when that child’s an adult, he or she will remember that during a dark time, there was an adult around who cared. 

Becoming a CASA has made me a better parent. When I get home from visiting my CASA kids, who sometimes live in foster care or with a grandparent or great-grandparent, I look at my children differently. I’ve always viewed them as gifts, but sometimes the frustration inherent in parenting clouds my vision. 

When I come back from a visit, though, I see clearly how precious they are, how lucky they are to have two parents who love and cherish them even as they exasperate us.  

Every child deserves that.

And CASAs work to make sure that every child we advocate for has a chance at happiness, whether with their own repaired family or with a new one. For more information about CASA, go to www.jacksoncountycasa-mo.org. 

But becoming an advocate isn’t the only way to work to prevent child abuse. Here are just a few more, courtesy of the Child Welfare League of America:  

·        Support efforts that support vulnerable children and families. Maybe it’s playgroup or an afterschool activity or parenting education classes or respite care. Simple support for children and parents can be the best way to prevent child abuse.

·        Discipline your children thoughtfully. Never discipline your child when you are upset. Both words and actions can inflict deep, lasting wounds. Use your actions to show children and other adults that conflicts can be settled without hitting or yelling.

·        Support prevention programs, such as family counseling and home visits by nurses who provide assistance for newborns and their parents.

·        Know what child abuse is, and what the signs are. Physical and sexual abuse clearly constitute maltreatment, but so does neglect, or the failure of parents or other caregivers to provide a child with needed food, clothing, and care. Children can also be emotionally abused when they are rejected, berated, or continuously isolated. Unexplained injuries aren't the only signs of abuse-depression, fear of a certain adult, difficulty trusting others or making friends, sudden changes in eating or sleeping patterns, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor hygiene, secrecy, and hostility are often signs of family problems and may indicate a child is being neglected or physically, sexually, or emotionally abused.

·        Report abuse. Here’s a big one. Make the call. If you witness a child being harmed or see evidence of abuse, or if a child tells you about abuse, make a report to your state's child protective services department or local police. When talking to a child about abuse, listen carefully, assure the child that he or she did the right thing by telling an adult, and affirm that he or she is not responsible for what happened.


I still think of that boy my son knew in third grade. He moved away that summer to live with his grandmother, and we haven’t heard from him since. I think of him every time I get a new CASA case, and I work to help those kids in that boy’s name because I couldn't help him.