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Christi Diggs
on Feb 4 2010 - 06:00 AM
Regular cleaning...going rate, cleaning after sick child...priceless
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Deb Clem-Buckert
on Feb 3 2010 - 12:00 PM
Goodbye Tooth Fairy! (Tinkerbell, Please Stay A Little While Longer)
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Kady McMaster
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We haven’t quite mailed all our Christmas cards yet.
So if you’re someone I usually send a card to and you haven’t yet received one from the Beems, don’t despair. It’s on its way.
Frankly, I don’t think we got as many cards this year. And I know we didn’t get as many Christmas letters – you know, those sometimes-braggy, generally lengthy rites of the season that fill you in on Junior’s award-winning science project and Darling’s selection as Miss Congeniality in the latest scholarship pageant.
Must be the dismal economy, I figured. Not much to brag about this year.
Which makes me wish I’d written a letter to go along with our cards. I’ve only ever sent out two in our 17 years of marriage, and both times it was to include some life-changing information – namely that another baby was on the way.
I enjoy reading the letters we do get, but I’ve never thought anyone really cared to know the minutia of our lives.
Still, I wish I had the guts to write a letter that really tells it like it is, warts and all. If I did, this is what I’d write:
Dear Friends:
Well, another year has come and gone. Boy, are Matt and I glad this one’s about over. Our retirement savings tanked, as did the kids’ college savings plans. With only five years before our oldest graduates from high school (God willing,) we’re thinking of making the two oldest flip a coin to see who gets to go to college and who has to go into the military.
Ha ha, just kidding. Maybe. We’ll see what the market does this year.
But seriously, who would think that in a matter of months one family would need to totally rebuild their front door, remove a huge maple tree from the front yard and put braces on one kid’s teeth? Help! We need a subprime loan!
Ha ha, kidding again. (But if you know of any good loan deals out there, e-mail us. Really.)
Anyway, things haven’t been all bad. For example, we were so relieved that no one hotlined us after little Tommy had two ER visits over a six-month period for head injuries. We had witnesses both times, but still. You never know. And we’re pleased to report no long-term suspensions from school this year. Woo-hoo! What a relief. It seems schools tolerate colorful language a little better the older a child gets.
It was a disappointing year for Sally, the retriever mix. Obedience school just isn’t her thing. We think it’s her personality, really. She doesn’t take instruction well. Although her obedience instructor said she’s quite gifted, he socially promoted her out of the class after an unfortunate incident involving a German shepherd. Our insurance covered it. However, we’re happy to report that Lucy, the coonhound, is doing much better on Prozac. She’s not licking herself nearly as much as she did before.
Joe is doing better with his video-game addiction. Last year it was the Playstation, but he’s over that now. Joe holds several records on his NBA2K9 game on the new Xbox. He says he can stop whenever he wants. He just hasn’t wanted to yet. We’re giving him a few more weeks.
As for Maggie, she had quite the exciting soccer season. A few yellow cards and a couple red ones – we felt like we were watching a real professional! Man, can she make other girls cry out there on the field! What a competitor.
We’re so excited about a new skill Tom has acquired during this, his kindergarten year. The other day, he actually cracked the four-digit numeric code on his cousin’s safe! Can you imagine a 6-year-old doing that? Think of the career possibilities ahead of him.
If you’re ever in the area, please come visit. We love to welcome guests to our home! After a while, you won’t even notice the smell from the basement. But if you have allergies, you might want to wait until spring, when we can open the windows a little.
Have a safe and happy 2009!
Love,
The Beem Family
Of course, most of that stuff was bunk. (Of course I would say that.)
Maybe I’ll send that letter out next year.
Mine would probably express relief that DS had fewer brushes with the law this year, and DD is slowly but surely winning the battle against her computer addiction. Oh, and DH and I are still gainfully employed, albeit with maybe fewer hours. :) If you get a tip on the loan deal, let me know!Kate, you should OH, SO send this letter out! Reminds me of those Bummers fill-in-the-blank letters from summer camp in the back of my old (late '70s and '80s) Dynamite magazines.I would love getting a letter like this vs some of the boring ones I've received over the years (not from any of you). Great letter!!!We got alot of cards with pictures -- love those. We put them on the bulletin board in the kitchen. BUT ZERO christmas letters -- I haven't sent one in a couple years. I figure if you want to know what's going on with me, you'll catch me on FB. Our card this year was funny -- us playing Guitar Hero. That received alot of comments. Next year we're sitting on large balls ... well, maybe not.Hilarious, Kate! I would LOVE a letter like that! Better than some of the droning "yay on us" letters we usually get.I tend to agree with some of the others. Way funnier than what we get. Love the cards with pictures. They go on the frige, I do everything on the computer then I write a short note on the inside telling people who live out of town any big news. That is about all I think people really want to here about, instead of the brag letters.That was a great one. I have a friend whose wife sent out a totally made up letter about their fame and fortune last year. Apparently not everyone got the joke and they had to issue a retraction in January! I have an aunt whose letter started with all the surgeries various family members had this year. My letter was only 1/2 page this year, I told everyone to catch us on Facebook. I figured the only people who really wanted the scoop were my great aunts. The rest know where to find me.We got one Christmas Letter this year from my aunt and uncle. Looks like they are mad at one of their kids cause they only mentioned the other 2 and apparently someone has been setting on one of the inflatable doughnuts. Oh the wonders of my aunts Christmas Letters, at least this year no one have surgery so we didn't have to read all of those details!
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