advertisement
-
Deb Clem-Buckert
on Sep 1 2010 - 12:00 PM
Silly Bands, Purple Bracelets, Leukemia and Lots of Inspiration!
- read more
Margo Posnanski
on Aug 31 2010 - 06:00 AM
The Princess Who Once Wore Red Plastic High Heels
- read more
Laura Bauer
on Aug 30 2010 - 06:00 AM
What do you mean you want to hang out with your family?
- read more
-
Mom2Mom was built by moms like us at The Kansas City Star to make it easy for Kansas City moms to share experiences and photos, get and give advice, plan family fun and more. Contact us, find out more about us or see answers to our frequently asked questions.
Kady McMaster
-
In your dreams...
Last night after I picked up my son from daycare we went home and ate dinner then checked out his goody bag from his Valentine party.
I was expecting little Valentine cards with scribbles on them (the kids are 2) ... but NOOOOOO...instead I found little party treat bags inside which had suckers, pencils, spin tops, bubbles, and noisemakers inside them.
Damn! These parents actually took the time to fill up little chatchki bags for their 2 yr. olds to give out at their daycare Valentine party.
Pssshh!!!
At first I felt bad, I felt bad because I sent my son off to school this morning with only the little cheap paper Valentine's to give out instead of the elaborate chatchki bags the other parents sent with their children...
Then, I didn't feel so bad anymore... I felt angry because I thought to myself... when in the hell would I of had the time (let alone the money) to fill up little bags of stuff? (I know what you're thinking... "she has time to hand wash her bras but no time to fill up party bags?") You're damn right!
Don't get me wrong... it was exciting to peel open the bags to see what was inside...it almost felt like Christmas again... but do you think any of the children helped their parents fill the bags? Are any of them gonna be that interested in a little plastic spin top? (Made in China) (Although Bo did play with it for about 5 minutes...)
I personally think it was more genuine and more thoughtful for me and Bo to sit at the kitchen table and for me to actually hold a pencil in his hand and help him write his name on each and every Valentine card instead of me just writing his name on the cards and stuffing a bag with suckers and pencils which he can't even eat or use yet.
Ok, ok... kudos to the women (maybe some men?) who took the time and gave me and Bo something to do on a Thursday night. You're sweet tea and I'm the bitter sugarless diet stuff... Hah!
But really... what gives? Is there some excitement or fun in the art of making and giving away party bags that I'm missing? (I can understand B-day parties where it's more of a 'thank-you-for-coming-to-the-party' kind of thing...) Shouldn't the kids be the ones putting in the effort to make their friends happy? If I don't make party bags will Bo not grow up to be a thoughtful person? I ain't buyin' it.
I did the party bag thing ONCE and never again. I even had to sign his valentines Thursday morning-20 minutes before the bus got to the house and for 30 kids. What a pain in the butt.DD and I always do the bags together on the occasions we have done them. She enjoys picking out goodies or making things herself. Also, I found your Sally Homemaker remark a bit childish and defensive. Just because you choose to live your life one way is no reason to denigrate those who choose to do other things with their time.I'm with you. We were doing well to get pre-fab cards addressed for two parties WITHOUT extra "junk" or "sugar" added. When my preschooler dumped out her party bag it was loaded with candy. We both were overwhelmed.I'm with you, Tasha. It's great to see families bond by doing bags and if you've got the time, great. I just haven't made the time.Whatever, is right! I admit I went a little nuts with stuff too the first time around. Now that I have a 3rd grader and a kindergartener -- I am soooo over it! I think it's a new parent thing -- like the way competition for the role of room mom is such a big deal in preschool and kindergarten (we have 4 room moms for 14 kids! all with their first child entering school) and by 2nd grade -- you couldn't bribe parents to show up for parties. =)As a room mom, those treat bags have cheap toys and stuff for school (new pencil) and they are a hit. The treat is part of the party. I refuse to give them more sugar. I will give things to keep their brains busy like a book, coloring book, sm.pkg crayons, and silly gadgets. We make an assembly line (I hope Ididn't break any child labor laws) of all teh kids and make the bags. Thsi year I only had to make for one class of 22- last year it was 4 classes 22 each. (yes, that is 88 bags!)When I was working full-time and had two kids in daycare, I would have been the one making extra-special treats for them to take to school. It was a way for me to assuage my guilt. So it might be that the people who made the treat bags aren't stay-at-home moms. Frankly, I had more time to do that kind of thing when I wasn't staying at home putting out fires all day. I got a lunch break and had time to run errands without at least one child in tow.I am Sally Homemaker and I don't do the bags. We did do homemade valentines for a few years but now, just go with the cheapies with a piece of wrapped candy taped to them. I did feel guilty about it the first couple of times then I realized that my kids didn't even know who gave them the bags. Yes, it's nice. Someone is always going to do it for whatever reason but it probably won't be this SAHM and I'm okay with that.Maybe it's just being over 40, but the labels and name calling -- I'm so over it. So you decided to work and you don't make treat bags. I decided not to work and don't make treat bags. But there are some moms, working or not, who do and as a room mom, I let them contribute whatever they want. Some people are trying very hard to fit in no matter what the circumstances and I for one wish we would just give everyone a huge break AND PLAY NICE. Being mom is hard enough without the judgement of the other moms. Besides, it's Suzy Homemaker where I'm from so if you're going to put me down, do it right.Also, my P looks nothing like the guy in the picture (and neither do I) but on certain days when I know she is coming home early I'll put on a yellow dress like that one, get my up-do JUST LIKE THE PICTURE, break out the big girl lipstick, stillettos, and put a T-bone on.I was talking with a friend the other day about how there seems to be a trend on this site and others to blog about a holiday or event in a way that promotes controversy. I think this post is a prime example of that. I respect your right to work and your right to choose how you will or will not celebrate holidays. You may have been going for humor, or the shock value, but I think it also shows a lack of respect for people who enjoy staying at home with their kids and/or who enjoy being crafty. That said, I really don't think all the candy and trinkets are necessary. They just get thrown in the trash around here. BUT, if the kid and parent enjoyed putting it together, FANTASTIC!I never ONCE said anything about stay-at-home-moms.... actually that term isn't even in my blog... in fact sometimes I call my husband "Mr. Sally Homemaker" and he works full time ... If you know me... then you know I'm not trying to offend anyone. Why so sensitive? I have no problems or think that I am better than any mom on this site.. or in the world for that matter.Honestly, there is no right or wrong when it comes to what or how much you give. What is most important, you took the time to prepare a Valentine with YOUR CHILD for each classmate in his class. You should never feel guilty or less than, someone who may appear to do more. Focus on your quantity of time you spent with your child, not the quality. YOUR child is going to remember the time YOU spent with him, not what was in those "party" bags.....Enjoy the time you have with him, they grow up way too fast!!!I don't think kidlit meant to pick on you, but that there is a writing style with some of the featured bloggers here that takes a holiday or typical way people do things and makes fun of it OR tears it down in some way. Not all posts by any means, not all featured writers. It's just a style of writing or a trend that can be seen. I don't think she's sensitive to you, from what she wrote. I think it's a critic on writing style and the choice to use negativity or humor that is a bit biting of the way some people do things.Tasha, you are right. You never said SAHM. I think my misinterpretation came from the term "Sally Homemaker." That term carries a lot of baggage--and my opinion is that people usually associate that with SAHMs. I think I reacted to "Sally Homemaker" coupled with the tone of "Whatever" in the title. Thank you for clarifying.I don't think kidlit meant to pick on you, but that there is a writing style with some of the featured bloggers here that takes a holiday or typical way people do things and makes fun of it OR tears it down in some way. Not all posts by any means, not all featured writers. It's just a style of writing or a trend that can be seen. I don't think she's sensitive to you, from what she wrote. I think it's a critic on writing style and the choice to use negativity or humor that is a bit biting of the way some people do things.How the heck did I double post? I guess when I hit back to get on mom2mom after leaving it brought me back to my post. Sorry.Susie Homemaker - Google it. Susie was a stay at home mom who could DO IT ALL. She was used in commercials in the 60s and 70s to promote popcorn poppers, refrigerators and assorted other home appliances.... For decades, Susie Homemaker has been the icon of the American housewife. She conjures memories of homemade apple pie, the hug when you come home, and the bandage when you hurt your knee. Susie Homemaker is the image of perfection; the ideal wife and mother devoted entirely to her home and family.I honestly don't see what the big deal is here. I am a SAHM...and the ultimate Susie Homemaker. I would be one of the moms that makes the intricate treat bags, not because I feel a need to, but because it is just something that I like to do, though I wouldn't fill them with candy. That being said, I laughed out loud at Tasha's blog. As a SAHM, I DO think that parties are getting out of hand, and I think Tasha was just trying to comment on the craziness that it has become. I don't take any offense to anything that she wrote, because I realize that not everyone wants to be like me. That is the beauty of being your own person. Tasha is different than me, and obviously different than a lot of you. I really don't think that she meant anyone harm, or offense. It was simply something she noticed, and took enough from it to write a blog about it. If you want to write blogs about how you bake bread and do laundry, that is great and WONDERFUL, and I will most definitely read them all. Just remember that not everyone is like you, just like everyone is not like me, or Tasha. Have a great weekend everyone!Also, if you would like to see or be a featured blogger, I'm sure all you have to do is ask. The worst they can say is no. :)I think the featured blogger stuff is only for those ladies on staff at the Star and so "chosen" to be the face of this site, IMO. As for putting together treatbags, my room mother is a single, full-time working mom with two kids and she put together our class treatbags from the contributions from the other parents in the class. I stay at home (definately not a Susie Homemaker) and I offered to put them together and she said "thanks but no thanks." The competition going on between working-outside-the-home mom and stay-at-home mom has been going on for generations and generations. The trick is not really care what other people think!Honestly, I don't get why people have to always read into things and take offense to stuff all the time. I enjoyed the article and looked at it from a humorous stand point. I am a SAHM. I take no offensive to this article it was entertainment, people are way to hypersenstive these days in my opinion.Wow, I never figured that my headline on my blog would cause so much controversy. Even though the correct name is "Susie", I still like to say "Sally," that's just me! Kind of like how kids say "paskghetti" and it's "spaghetti." Anywho... I am so proud and happy for the moms who can be themselves and not care about what others think of them! Yes, everyone IS different and certain things work better for certain families. I wouldn't be true to my blogs if I didn't write about how I was feeling that night. I am not perfect...and I admit it. annieinkansas~ what does being over 40 have to do with anything? I actually took that comment on my blog to be kind of ..... you know.... offensive? But it made me smile... because while you think being over 40 means you are less childish than me... I think it just means you are older than me. Ah, age is but a number! Have a great weekend ladies! I so have to post this tator tot recipe for you guys.... coming soon!Wow, such controversy!! I thought your blog was funny, I was laughing out loud reading it. I didn't take offense at all at what you wrote, then again I've never done goody bags for Valentine's either. I think everyone needs to read some of this stuff with an open mind and for the humor, I don't think Tasha was bashing any of us for what we do or don't do with stuff like that, just my opinion. My kids came home with several goody bags and they weren't embarassed or upset that they didn't send one as their Valentine's. If you enjoy doing that sort of thing and can afford it, then go for it. If not, then who cares? Can't we all just get along?I agree this blog was FUNNY people. I am the "ultimate" Suzie or Sally Homemaker to some because I stay at home and do PTA and go to all the school parties etc and I was not offended! It those people want to make treat bags . . .more power to them! And if my daughter who is in 5th grade wants to get up early on Valentines day and make muffins for her whole class even though she does not have a party. . .MORE POWER to her! (not sure where she gets it. . .wink wink. . .she is just like me!!!!LOL) It was a funny post. . .I don't understand why so many are offended. Heck if you cant laugh at yourself. . .what is the point!As a teacher of first grade and a mother of a 6 and 8 tear old I think there are WWWWAAAAAAAYYYYY to many parties in schools. There's Halloween, Thanksgiving luncheons,Christmas?holiday, Valentine's Day and Easter Egg Hunt. And of course the child's birthday complete with cake, ice cream and soda. With Mom Dad Grandma and siblings in tow taking pictures of every moment and they arrive 5 minutes before recess and you have recess duty.. ENOUGH! The kindergarten teacher and asked for the parents to send no treats, but do they listen? One mother sent a six pack of Mountain Dew to the party. Yep. I like to have my kid ingest all that caffeine at 2 in the afternoon. Send a bad of Valentine's to the school and be done with it.Whoah! Bag of worms, bag of worms! I am so proud to be Sally, Suzy, how about Serena Homemaker and you know what? Sometimes I do the treat bag thing and sometimes I don't, but ALL the time I think it's ridiculous the way our kids are given so much. Back in the '70s you were giving out something major if you gave out a store-bought Valentine (like, give out a Star Wars or Strawberry Shortcake Valentine and you were Star of the Playground for a month). Maybe ONE KID would give out a Tootsie Pop with his Valentine and man that kid had to be rich, rich, rich! Whatever makes moms do it -- for some I would say it's all about competition, others guilt, still others complete enjoyment -- all of them are wasting their money in this house because the vast majority of it ends up in the bin. Your efforts would be better spent making heartfelt homemade Valentines for folks at a nursing home who otherwise might not be thought of that day. They don't have piles and piles of the stuff falling off the tops of their dressers like the kids do. And Tasha, for the record...sarcasm and sometimes name-calling is part of humor. You're great at humor and I don't think you should change a darn thing. I always enjoy reading your posts, even if I'm the Sally Homemaker at the butt of your jokes. It's all good.okay, I already posted but, you go girl! (what Jennifer said). I remember those days when I was in grade school, I know a long time ago. I remember the Tootsie Pop being a huge deal for a Valentine's. I also agree that these days our kids get way too much at their parties, especially compared to what our parties were like. (Mountain Dew at a kids' party!?!, I'm sorry, what are parents thinking???) Valentine's for nursing home residents and veterans are a great idea! Like I said before, if you want to do it and can, then I think that's wonderful. I've never made goody bags for Valentine's day and that doesn't make me less of a mommy than the ones that do!! Love your blogs Tasha, no offense taken. I love a good laugh!I have been married 20 years and have kids who are 18 and 16. I always envied the moms that had the time to do the extra stuff because I was a working mom. I think it is cool they are able to spend that kind of time. However, my deal was always to go to like McDonalds or Wendys and get the little coupon Valentine books. That way the kids could get a treat with the Valentine. These parties are such special memories for you and your child and if some people want to give a little extra, relax and let them. Just enjoy and celebrate what he got at the party and then pitch the stuff that might not be age appropriate.Shoot, I thought the whole thing was funny. I was not offended at all. My four year old found Cars Valentines with pencils and liked them. We worked together on assembling them, he wrote his name on all of them and I tossed them in a ziplock. We had wonderful bonding time and he was SO proud of them, and I was proud of myself for not adding more candy to the kids sacks. We had fun with our simple Valentines (just like tfjonas did), but enjoyed pilfering through the homemade, somebody-spent-a-lot-of-time-on-this stuff too. It's unfortunate that people were offended by this blog, but I thought it was hysterical. Keep it up tfjonas...you're one of my favorites!a month before my DS turned 3, he came home with a birthday party bag from a girl at school. my smart kiddo then just knew that he would bring home a fun bag of stuff on his birthday. Since there were only 10 bags, I caved - stickers, raisins, pretzels... Valentines Day I sent him with his paper valentines and raisin packs. After eating cupcakes and probably half his candy, he had to be separated from the rest of the kids until his sugar high wore off. The rest of the candy is now on top of the pantry. It's not the time (that I don't really want to spend) putting "sweet" bags together, it's not the money (that I don't really want to spend), it's the fact that at 3 YEARS OLD they are starting to expect sugar and toys at every celebration. Perhaps, at the least, we could have some sort of mom pact that you allow your kid to bring only one item to hand out with the only stipulation that if it is food, the #1 ingredient isn't sugar?I am a working mom, and I DID give out goody bags to all of DS's classmates. I even handmade the tags. I even DYED THE RAFFIA TIE. Who knows why I spent four lunch hours getting hold of all of the stuff, and the entirety of watching "V for Vendetta" putting the Matchbox cars, Playdoh, candy, fruit rollups, etc in each one. I *loved* it. They looked so amazing. I was so smiley carrying those cellophane bags into the school, and I'd do it again! (Mostly for me, I guess, but who cares!) My son is 3. :)
September 2010 Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Tagsbooks (2)
christmas (2)
daycare (2)
drop (2)
ethnicity (2)
food (2)
off (2)
vacation (2)
911 (1)
age (1)
air conditioning (1)
airplaines (1)
anti-antibiotics (1)
anti-green hoa (1)
art (1)
bad guys (1)
blogging (1)
body image (1)
bosses (1)
bowel movements (1)
branson (1)
breast (1)
cancer (1)
carpenters (1)
cars (1)
clothes (1)
co-sleeping (1)
college savings (1)
comedy (1)
computer viruses (1)
concerts (1)
cord blood banking (1)
crime (1)
cyberbully (1)
dad (1)
divorce (1)
doodlebops (1)
driving distractions (1)
embarrassing purchases (1)
f bomb (1)
fast (1)
fertility (1)
festivals (1)
foreign exchange students (1)
forgetfulness (1)
fraud (1)
garage sale (1)
gas (1)
godparents (1)
grandparents (1)
gray hair (1)
guns (1)
gym (1)
handbags (1)
healthy eating (1)
heroes (1)
hockey (1)
home improvement (1)
homemaker (1)
honey-do (1)
hospitals (1)
housecleaner (1)
husbands (1)
hypocrite (1)
imagination movers (1)
insults (1)
inventions (1)
jewelry (1)
june bugs (1)
keepsakes (1)
ladies night (1)
lists (1)
local (1)
lollygag (1)
love (1)
make (1)
mice (1)
miscarriage (1)
momma (1)
mommy time (1)
mornings (1)
music (1)
neighborhoods (1)
not wanting kids (1)
nudity (1)
ocean life (1)
painting (1)
plane crashes (1)
playtime (1)
politics (1)
potty (1)
potty training (1)
pregnancy (1)
proud (1)
respect (1)
reunion (1)
royals (1)
salesmen (1)
sally (1)
scalping (1)
school days (1)
sick (1)
sleep (1)
snot (1)
snow days (1)
soccer mom (1)
spanking (1)
stress (1)
suburbia (1)
swimming (1)
tornado (1)
tough boys (1)
toy (1)
tribute (1)
uniforms shoes (1)
unions (1)
vegas (1)
video games (1)
waiting (1)
weddings (1)
working moms (1)
young mom (1)