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- kim nakahodo - Profile | Pictures | Blog
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I’m just going to come right out and say it; I still have my pregnancy muffin top.
There. I feel better, don’t you? The truth is, I care, but I don’t. The weight will eventually come off, I’m sure of it. It did with my first pregnancy, and I have confidence it will this time around as well.
I expect it will take longer this time because I am four years older and on the downward slope to my not-so-thirties anymore. I fit in my pre-maternity clothes, but they have looked better on me… and I am in my ‘fat pants’ side of the closet.
To be honest, I have bigger issues than my larger derriere. I’m not worried my calorie-count because I am more concerned with my milk production.
Four years has made a difference between baby #1 and baby #2. My recovery time was longer, my weight is sticking around longer and my milk production is lower.
Four years ago, I didn’t have to supplement Niko’s food supply at all. In fact, I was producing so much milk that I took over the freezer for the first year of his life. Now, I’m lucky if I don’t have to give Ryker any formula for the day. Most days, I come up short by about 8 ounces.
There is quite a bit of guilt that comes along with having to supplement his meals. When I feed him a formula bottle he fusses at first, then eventually takes it. I feel like he’s looking at me with disappointment. I know he isn’t of course, but I still feel guilt since I know that he’s getting a different experience than his brother.
There are many things different with his baby experience than his brother; I was able to stay longer with Niko, I didn’t have to supplement and Niko had our full attention. I feel guilty as if I am short-changing Ryker’s childhood.
I know that’s not true, it’s the way it is. Ryker will always have a different experience. He will wear hand-me-downs, play with his brother’s old toys and forever experience things after Niko has already done them.
Oh well, I will continue to make as much milk as I can for my new little man and supplement where I have to. I am glad that we live in a time that there is formula around to help those of us that need it. There are a lot of mommas that have no choice – my sister was one of them.
Time to get back to drinking my milk-enhancing tea that smells like black liquorice. Gross. Only 9 more months of ‘enjoying’ that delicacy. Then I’m trying the Insanity DVDs to get my groove back!
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