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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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Niko-chan has a first love – a ratty-looking teddy bear named “Baby.” They have been inseparable since Niko was 3-weeks-old. Baby started out as a heartbeat/mother’s womb teddy bears strapped to Niko’s crib at night. I will be honest, we were DESPERATE for sleep when we bought him; we were willing to try anything.
I still remember walking into Niko’s room when he was about 6 months old seeing him try to rip the Baby off the crib so he could cuddle with him. I unstrapped Baby from the edge of the crib and they have been together ever since. We actually lost Baby once and I thought DH and I might actually die from Niko’s grief. Baby dropped out of our car at an outlet mall and we were miles away when Niko started crying. We turned around and some wonderful soul had found him and leaned him up against a tree. I guess they figured the family of such a well-loved bear would be back.
Niko goes everywhere with Baby…. And that’s now the problem.
DH came up to me on Friday and said that he noticed that Niko was the only kid that had a ‘lovely’ in his class. Niko is in the 3-4 year old class at school and there are now about 15 kids in the class. Baby goes to school with him and hangs out in the cubby until naptime. Baby accompanies Niko into the Land of Nod, then back into the cubby he goes until I pick him up from school. When I grab Baby out of the cubby and reunite them, it’s like I gave him back the sun.
I will be honest…. I know that the Baby should bother me, but it doesn’t. Maybe I am just trying to hold on to his babyhood just a few more minutes... or I just hate separating him from his best friend. As I have written before, we don’t have a lot of friends with kids so when we go to events/parties, Baby is the only ‘kid’ for Niko to play with or talk to. My solo campaign to get my friends to breed some friends for Niko has failed so far and I don’t think he will really have many friends until he reaches real school.
So… I am in a dilemma. I probably need to start weaning him off his ‘lovely’ before he gets beaten up, but what do you replace that with? I have heard solutions for blankets like making them into little swatches you pin on backpacks or put inside their pockets… but cutting up a stuffed animal seems a bit cruel.
What age must the ‘lovely’ be gone by…. and how did you actually swap it out?
My son will be 10 next week, and he still sleeps with his lovey, also called "Baby". Of course, I think he quit taking him with him once he hit pre-school, but Baby went everywhere, even in the car, for a long time. Could Niko take him in the backpack, and leave him in there, just for a while. I'm sure a gradual weaning would be the best. Maybe some sort of reward for going to school without Baby for so many days? Just throwing some suggestions out there.My opinion is that this is one of those things you leave alone. Niko will be fine with Baby until Niko is ready for Baby to be put on a shelf. He's not gonna take Baby on his honeymoon. ;) I don't think it's worth the grief he would go through to take it away. Pick your battles, Mama.I knew a guy who brought his to college with him, and he was a perfectly well-adjusted and popular guy. Niko might give it up on his own anyway. But if he doesn't, who cares?I don't think you should feel bad and your son will know when he is ready to leave Baby at home or in his backpack. My son had his baby for some time, then he gradually left him in his room for years, then eventually he is tucked away safe. Enjoy that your son feels secure and good about his baby. He is well-adjusted and will move on as he is ready.Maybe make "Baby" stay at home during the school day? Start there. I don't think "Baby" needs to be taken away 100%, but maybe limit where he can be taken? Our 3 year old is very much attached to a certain blanket. In fact, she tool ot to school today to share with her friends. So what?!?! It's a blanket and her comfort item. She used to also be attached to her Pink Monkey. So much that we bought a "back-up" one just in case! ;) She's not going to take it to college with her. I am not concerned in the least. Heck, there are still kids her age in diapers. So who are they to judge? ;)
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