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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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- kim nakahodo - Profile | Pictures | Blog
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I never thought I would actually say these words… and I haven’t yet, but I am close.
I had what I can only guess to be a bit of a breakdown this week. It’s my own fault, but I am really, really stretched too thin. I have WAY too much on my plate and only me to do it all. I am not complaining, as I mentioned I did it to myself, but wow.
It’s not just work, although there is a LOT to do in the next two weeks, but I am also behind on some friend responsibilities. This summer is seriously stacked and I am trying to catch up.
I have written about this before, but we are the only ones in our friend pool who have kids. It’s really hard trying to explain why I can’t do a simple task as easily as I used to. I feel like I keep using my son as a cop-out, but there are several things that you just can’t do anymore when you have an energetic 2-year-old. Couple that with my husband’s late work schedule and my position’s responsibilities and you get a severely reduced productivity potential.
On Wednesday, I would say I hit my low. I was seriously depressed about how much work I had to do in the next two weeks and the fact that I seemed to be letting my friends down. I honestly felt like a total failure on all fronts.
After giving myself a pep-talk, I felt a bit better. Still depressed, but I reminded myself that all I have to do is survive the next two weeks. I can do it. No one said it was going to be easy trying to have it all. Everyone is trying to do more with less, but my seams are starting to show.
What complicates things is that I feel very guilty about not spending more time with Niko as it is. I really only get one full day with him a week this time of year. Niko spends Saturdays with his Abuelos (I usually work Saturdays as well) so Sundays are really my only full day with him. It’s very hard to explain that to someone without kids. I know that the days of him wanting to hang out with me are fleeting so I want as many days as I can get.
So on to the second week of my two-week hell schedule. Hopefully this one will be better than the last…. But I just looked at my work calendar and no. It’s prepping to be worse and I will be one more week behind on friend tasks with double the stress. Sigh.
Kim, don't feel bad about letting your non parent friends down. You are right to want to spend as much time with your son as possible. For many years I was a full time active duty military parent. Long hours, exercises and deployments took me away from my daughter quite often. Now that I have had the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, I realized, I missed too much of my oldest daughter's growing up. While it's important to have friends, they are not depending on you for love and security like your son . He will be with you forever! Your true friends will understand and do what it takes to include your son. The others who don't understand are probably better off finding someone else to hang out with. In the mean time try finding a play group or circle of mom in your local area, this will allow your to form some friendships with other parents. You sound like a great mother. Stop beating yourself up because there are far too many parents who put themselves first and their children suffer for it. You son is blessed to have a mother who understands how precious time with him is to her!What Ladymelissa said. The people who are your true friends, those you should really keep in your life will understand that Niko is your number one priority. They'll be ok that you would prefer juice boxes and cheerios over partying on a Saturday evening for a while. You are a good mom!Keep in mind that the whole "having it all" thing is a myth. No one has it all -- male, female, young, old, rich, poor (the rich can sometimes come close, but still). A balanced life requires choices, and choices require shutting out what society says is important and deciding for yourself what is important. You have to learn to say not just "no," but Hell No!" Being part of the rat race is fine ... if you're a rat. But don't let others' expectations turn you into a human rodent!
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