advertisement
-
Lindsay Metcalf
on Jun 19 2013 - 06:00 AM
My top five most important moments of the summer so far
- read more
mara williams
on Jun 18 2013 - 06:00 AM
Hey, manchild, mama says: clean your room, wash the dishes, don't drink and drive.
- read more
Emily Parnell
on Jun 16 2013 - 06:00 AM
Eating fresh, local produce is good for body and soul
- read more
Jim Cosgrove
on Jun 13 2013 - 06:00 AM
I just want to buy some pants. Please, turn down the music.
- read more
- kim nakahodo - Profile | Pictures | Blog
-
Becoming a parent for me has been a steep learning curve. I have adjusted to most of the aspects of our new life but there is still one part that eludes me…. other parents.
I love kids; I have been around kids my whole life. My second job is working for a store that only exists to bring joy to children. I love kids for one pure reason… they are as brutally honest as you can get. If you want to know the truth about anything, ask a kid, they won’t pull any punches.
I would love to say the same about that kid’s parents.
I know that everyone thinks their kid is the smartest, fastest, strongest, coolest, most athletic, prettiest and above all…. more advanced than the average kid.
I have spent the last 3 years of my new life extending my “bs meter” and learning how to sit and listen to other parents gush about their darlings. More importantly, I have learned to shut my big mouth and listen with a smile.
I was given another opportunity to strengthen my new skills again this weekend. I listened as an old acquaintance told me how is children were genius and destined for advanced classes.... they are 2 ½ and 13 months. Amazing.
My son is 2 ½ and still pooping in his pants. On a good day I can understand him with his thick accent of “whininess.” I'm thrilled when he remembers to say please and thank you for things. (We have been working a lot on manners lately.)
I have written before about this… but it just drives me nuts! I know that it’s just going to get worse the older Niko gets and the more involved in school we become.
I guess my big questions is… how do I deal better with it? I guess I am just too grounded in reality. They tell me their kids are geniuses, but all I see is that they have boogery noses or that they just ate the crayon they were coloring with. Perhaps I am just cynical? Am I an evil person? Am I jealous? I’m sure that’s it….
How do you do it? Any good strategies out there other than just spacing out as they go on and on about how awesome their kids are?
I sit, listen and smile. I am probably guilty of gushing a bit at times, but have my fair share of stumbling blocks to relate to as well. I wish we (moms, even dads) were better at supporting and uplifting each other (not this group, just in general). There is so much knowledge to learn and pass along.Gets old, doesn't it? I have a friend whose kid walks on water, to hear her tell it. He is a black belt in karate. He plays piano like Van Cliburn, after a mere three years of lessons. His grades will assure him a place at Harvard. You get the picture. Meanwhile, my DS is in his second senior year, and DD doesn't have a boyfriend or a job or a car or whatever. This is why I usually never volunteer information about my kids. If someone asks how they're doing, then they are doing just fine, but otherwise we keep it in the family. I just get tired of hearing about perfect kids. It's like hearing how wildly successful someone's spouse is, when we're barely scraping by.I just try to think of how special their kids are to them, and am glad that those parents at least have the decency to speak well of their kids, as many not so great parents don't even give their kids the time of day, much less boast about their brilliance, even though it might be a little annoying to me to hear it over and over. In most cases they are proclaiming the good aspects of their children to all, rather than the not so great habits of which i'm sure there are twice as many. At least they have something nice to say about their kids, builds confidence and self-esteem when the kid knows their parent is proud of them. Hopefully they temper all the brava with a little bit of humility and humbleness for the kids' sake.Indemom, you make a good point. However, I think there's a difference between bragging on your kids for actual accomplishments, and bragging on them non-stop just because they're there. And quite frankly, you can build your child's self-esteem without alienating other people.moosebane, I understand. I sure hope for some of those kids that their parents foster their self esteem in other ways, but for some adults I've known that is sometimes the only "ataboy" their kids receive. Sad but true. There are a lot of socially awkward persons out there who don't know how to make small talk (about their kids) without going overboard and being the braggart. But I will agree, some parents are only doing it to impress, or make themselves feel less small.Right, indemom, and that's where I have issues. My friend always makes me feel like a failure as a mother because my kids aren't rabid overachievers or straight-A students. But then, unlike hers, my kids would never DREAM of correcting an adult, or announcing in the hallway at my place of employment that they "gotta go pee." Yup.There are always some parents who think every interaction is another round of the ole "Mommy Olympics". It gets to a point, I just avoid them. There is a big difference between a parent who is proud of their child for an achievement, and those who use their child as a personal ego boost.Just for fun, tell them about the poopy pants and how perfetly soaked your child is able to get them and so on. Then when the conversation is over, on your way home at least you'll have a good time laughing at the expression on their face.My kids are good kids overall, but do not walk on water. I wonder if the walk on water mothers really gush all over themselves to their kids - it certainly would explain some attitudes!I have another perspective. Sometimes, parents brag about one aspect of their child's development because others aren't going so well. I really had to stop myself from doing this when my son started reading at age 2. By then, we knew something was wrong. When we found out that this "something" was autism and that extraordinarily early reading was a red flag, suddenly it wasn't something we wanted to brag about. But still, sometimes you cling to whatever you can. (As for potty training -- it took three years for my little guy. Trust me, you'll have it easier.)
June 2013 Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Tagstoddler (21)
thoughts (20)
first time mom (13)
advice (10)
mom (7)
worries (7)
rant (6)
career (5)
retail (5)
boy (4)
daycare (4)
discipline (4)
fatty (4)
food (4)
moving (4)
pregnancy (4)
story (4)
stress (4)
baby (3)
birth (3)
birthday (3)
cat (3)
christmas (3)
concern (3)
disney (3)
emergency (3)
family (3)
kids (3)
mothers day (3)
pregnant (3)
sick (3)
son (3)
toddlers (3)
widow (3)
working (3)
almitra (2)
anger (2)
asthma (2)
autism (2)
bathroom (2)
big (2)
biracial (2)
car (2)
car trip (2)
choice (2)
crawling (2)
daddy (2)
first (2)
friends (2)
fun (2)
grandparents (2)
holiday shopping (2)
horror stories (2)
job (2)
laughing (2)
lovely (2)
milk (2)
mmr (2)
new job (2)
night out (2)
poop (2)
road trip (2)
room (2)
school (2)
schools (2)
spending (2)
teething (2)
toys (2)
travel (2)
vote (2)
wedding (2)
whine (2)
work (2)
18 (1)
alter (1)
amber (1)
american (1)
angry (1)
anyone (1)
aunts (1)
babies (1)
back (1)
bath (1)
becoming your mom (1)
bed (1)
behavior (1)
beyonce (1)
big love (1)
bilingual (1)
bills (1)
birthdays (1)
black friday (1)
blog (1)
blood (1)
boys (1)
bragging (1)
breaking (1)
budget (1)
cable (1)
cable company (1)
cancer (1)
candy (1)
car seat (1)
challenge (1)
child safety (1)
chirstmas (1)
chores (1)
clawson (1)
cleaning (1)
community (1)
cookbooks (1)
cooking (1)
cosleeping (1)
cousins (1)
crap (1)
cravings (1)
croup (1)
crying (1)
culture (1)
cynical (1)
dad (1)
date (1)
debt (1)
dentist (1)
dh (1)
diaper changing (1)
diet (1)
disaster (1)
dishwasher (1)
divorce (1)
doctor (1)
doctors (1)
dog (1)
drama (1)
drinking (1)
drive-in (1)
driving (1)
easter (1)
eating (1)
ebt (1)
economy (1)
elections (1)
elf (1)
entertaining (1)
er (1)
exercise (1)
expensive (1)
facebook (1)
fairy tales (1)
faith (1)
fat (1)
fears (1)
federal (1)
first birthday (1)
first day (1)
flight (1)
flu (1)
formula (1)
from (1)
frustrated (1)
frustration (1)
funding (1)
fundraiser (1)
fundraisers (1)
furlough (1)
future (1)
games (1)
garage sales (1)
gear (1)
gift (1)
girls (1)
give (1)
golden girls (1)
government (1)
growing up (1)
guest (1)
guilt (1)
guns (1)
hair (1)
hair cut (1)
halloween (1)
hater (1)
hatred (1)
hbo (1)
healthcare (1)
help (1)
hero (1)
hippy (1)
hoax (1)
home (1)
homeopathic (1)
homework (1)
hormone (1)
horror (1)
house project (1)
husband (1)
idol chit chat (1)
imdb (1)
infant clothes (1)
insurance (1)
internet (1)
interracial (1)
iphone (1)
issues (1)
jealous (1)
job loss (1)
jobs (1)
junk (1)
kc (1)
king (1)
labor (1)
late (1)
laundry (1)
learning spanish (1)
lets (1)
lets move (1)
list (1)
local (1)
locks of love (1)
long distance (1)
m2m meet-up (1)
magazines (1)
marriage (1)
mcdonald (1)
memories (1)
michael jackson (1)
milwaukee (1)
mistakes (1)
moms day (1)
move (1)
movies (1)
multiple kids (1)
multiple moms (1)
names (1)
natural (1)
nerd (1)
new friends (1)
new house (1)
new mom (1)
newborn (1)
night (1)
nighttime (1)
obese (1)
obesity (1)
obsession (1)
octomom (1)
opinion (1)
organic (1)
organic milk (1)
parenting (1)
parents as teachers (1)
park (1)
parties (1)
party (1)
pet (1)
peter pan (1)
phase (1)
phone (1)
pictures (1)
pixar (1)
plan (1)
playgroup (1)
politics (1)
poll (1)
potty (1)
pre-teen (1)
pregancy (1)
prepare (1)
preparedness (1)
presents (1)
pride (1)
priorities (1)
public service (1)
raw milk (1)
real estate (1)
reality check (1)
relationships (1)
restaurant (1)
returing to work (1)
ronald (1)
safety (1)
sahm (1)
sayings (1)
scary (1)
school district (1)
second (1)
second baby (1)
sex (1)
shelf (1)
shooter (1)
shower (1)
sickness (1)
side (1)
silly (1)
sleeping (1)
sleeping through the nigh (1)
sleepless (1)
sleepovers (1)
soap box (1)
soft (1)
soul (1)
spanish (1)
spongebob (1)
strollers (1)
summer (1)
tantrums (1)
taxes (1)
temper tantrums (1)
terminal (1)
terror (1)
texting (1)
thankful (1)
thanks (1)
things (1)
three (1)
time (1)
tips (1)
tooth (1)
tornado (1)
toy story (1)
trisomy (1)
tv (1)
uncles (1)
vacation (1)
vaccinations (1)
vaccines (1)
valentine (1)
vampire (1)
vegetarian (1)
veteran (1)
video (1)
villan (1)
visit (1)
vocabulary (1)
weather (1)
wills (1)
wondering (1)
working moms (1)
yo gabba=gabba (1)
young (1)
zombie (1)