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I must say… nothing makes me feel like a bigger failure as a parent then sitting in the pediatrician’s office.
This Sunday, I sat in the examination room hearing how sick my little man was…. Again. He had a 101.5 temperature and double ear infections with an irritated throat.
I sat there in my cartoon t-shirt and my pigtails trying to explain myself. Seriously… I was just as surprised as she was that he was that ill. He totally didn’t act it! He was running around and playing with the cats, like he does most Sundays.
The only reason I took him to the doctor’s was that he told me his ear hurt. He said it very matter-of-fact though… no whiney/painful/tearful tone. I took him to the Sunday urgent care at our pediatrician’s office because these things only get nastier at night.
Usually when he’s sick he lays facedown on the floor and whimpers so I didn’t think he was all that sick. Of course now I know he was sick….
By the time we left the doctor’s office I felt both inadequate and angry.
Part of me wonders how can I still be so bad at diagnosing my son and part of me is a bit miffed that I was made to feel inferior for misdiagnosing him… again. You would think that after 2 ½ years of being around him I could figure out when he was just cranky and when he was sick.
I must say, I have never been one of those people that takes health care lightly. I worked for various hospitals around Chicago during my summer breaks from college. I would love to say I didn’t see waste, but I did. A LOT of waste…. anyone who works in healthcare can tell you stories of people running up costs on tests and procedures that were unnecessary.
I never wish to be one of those people so I am a bit hesitant to got to the doctor for a sniffle or scrape. So I wonder if I am taking it too far? But seriously… Niko-chan’s health seems to change so quickly!
So… when do you figure this crap out?!?!?
I know I can’t be the only one out there who has brought a child into the doctor thinking it was trivial and find out that it’s really pretty bad……
Honestly, I don't think I'd stay at a practice that belittled me. In the grand scheme of things, a 101.5 fever isn't really that high. And if they don't tell you their ear hurts, how would you know? One thing I love about my dr. is that he goes out of his way to put my mind at ease about shortcomings. And a sick kid waiting in the dr.'s office is a good mix to bring out all the shortcomings! And he just smiled when not one, but BOTH my kids went to their annual checkups - commando. He congratulated me for letting them dress themselves. You need that kind of support from a healthcare provider.Ahh, the joys of parenthood. Reading your post reminded me of when my son was that age. You're in that "damned if you do, damned if you don't" period. Take him and it's nothing and you feel like the doctor and staff will look at you like an overprotective parent. Take him and it is something you think they will look at you and think "what took you so long." Get over it. A good pediatrician and staff will never think that. They're used to it. Remember, they don't come with manuals. The first two yrs. are tough because they can't really communicate verbally and you rely on instinct and the experience of family members and friends. After that you were on the right track. It's when you don't error on the side of caution that matters can get worse. Because our son was born 3 1/2 mos. preemie at 2lbs. 3oz. his first year was monitored very closely. We were lucky in that we had an absolutely great pediatrician that had been with us since day 1. He gave us the basics and it served us well. We went through the ear infections (common). God bless "bubble gum medicine." Every mother to be should get at least 5 free gift certificates for omoxycillin at her baby shower. Childrens body temps. are different than adults. If the nose runs clear, relax. If it's yellow or green come see us. If their tugging at their ear constantly or it's overly sensitive to the touch with an elevated temp., come see us.If you take their temperature by ear, take it in both and average it. Don't rely on just one ear. Even CMH changed their policy on this. If it's a little high, try childrens Motrin for a day. After that, come see us. Your childs health is too important. You never know what they'll find. Believe me, I'm an expert on that and I relate the following story. When my son was 9 he fell off his bike and scraped his stomach. No big deal. Kids fall off bikes. The next day, a Tuesday I took him to school and related the incident to the school nurse and his 3rd grade teacher just to be on the safe side. No problem. Recess just like normal. He was just like a normal 9yr. old. We had just seen the pediatrician the week before for a GBA basketball checkup. Life is good. Friday night he had his first basketball practice. He was so excited but complained of his tummy hurting. Having had my appendix out we ruled that out. No temp., just a tummy ache. The next morning while I was at work, his Mom called me and said that he was jaundiced, running a 102 temp and could barely move. She rushed him to Shawnee Mission Urgent Care and they called me to tell me that my son was going into diabetic shock and on his way by ambulance to CMH and wanted to kow if we knew our son was diabetic. I told them that was out of the question. When I got to CMH it was like all hell had broken loose. My son was receiving blood and back for a CT scan etc. etc... This is when you learn that if you see one or two doctors coming to see you it's not good but not bad. When they travel in packs of 5 or 6 it isn't going to be a pretty sight. It wasn't. We have good news and bad news. The good news is that when your son fell off his bike he had lacerated his liver but it was healing. The bad news is that at practice last night he opened it up and has been bleeding internally all night. We've taken care of that issue. That's the good news. The bad news is that we found two tumors on his liver. One the size of a softball and one the size of a baseball. Needless to say we were not amused. How could we have missed this? How could the doctor had missed this? So many questions and a whole lot of guilt. He was diagnosed as one of only 7(seven) kids in the country with it and the only one over the age of 3. When they asked how we felt they should tell him I just said "Tell him out front and don't bullshit him because he's an exceptional child and he'll know." When they told him he just grinned and said "What stage?" When the replied "Probably level 4". He just smiled and started laughing and said "That's OK. It's not my time to die yet, I've got things to do. Now when are ya gonna start makin' me sick and whens my hair gonna fall out. Let's get to it." After 4 1/2 months of experimental chemo with five different chemo drugs and experimental surgery to take out 83% of his liver without a partial transplant the young man is now a freshman at K-State. has never missed an honor roll, became an Eagle Scout and leader of his troop. So, don't ever worry about being overly protective about their health. Error on the side of caution when it comes to their health and well being but you have to let a kid be a kid at the same time. It's a tough balance but you'll survive. Now tonight when you tuck him in you give him an extra hug and tellhim that's from a little boy named Jason. Then when you're laying in bed you thank your God, your Mohammed, your Jesus, your Higher Power, I really don't care which and thank them that it was only an ear infection.Just use your motherly instincts. Seriously. You know your baby more than the doc. Keep doing what you're doing. It'll get better. Bo had strep once and I didn't even know it until I took him in for some shots. He was acting normal and playing and eating... who would have thought.I totally agree about finding a new practice if they make you feel inferior for bringing him in! I left our first pediatrician when I was 36 wks pregnant with twins and my son was only 16 months old. Because he was small for his age and didn't eat well (although he was NEVER sick), the pediatrician requested he be checked into Children's Mercy for extensive testing and observation! Are you crazy?! She knew I could give birth any day, he was healthy, and this could wait! When we waited for a few hours after he was admitted the doctors looked at us and said, "Why are you here?!" They told us to go home and not to worry. We changed to a new pediatrician office that day.I would have to fight to make an appt for our oldest. The dr once saw his name on the book and said , loud enough for me to hear, he must have a cold again.Turned to be bronchiolitis and I got scolded for not bringing him in earlier. I had called twice earlier! We switched drs and were much happier. Ask your friends who they use and consider changing drs.If kids being sick are signs of poor parenthood then I am in big trouble! Kids get sick and sometimes we don't know it. I have missed strep (sometimes there are hardly any signs!) and I seen ruptured ear drums with the ear only being in pain for less than 30 minutes. Things happen! I might be doctor shopping too at this point!
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