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- kim nakahodo - Profile | Pictures | Blog
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Duyen Pham-Madden and her husband Trenton graduated from Blue Springs High School together and married shortly after. She feels honored to live in America where she and her husband have raised two sons.
This weekend was physically and emotionally draining. I worked The Wall That Heals – Blue Springs event all four days it was in Pink Hill Park.
For those who don’t know, The Wall That Heals is a half-scale traveling replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. The traveling exhibition allows veterans, families, friends and students in their home community to honor the 58,000 men and women whose names are inscribed on the Wall.
Before this weekend, my own understanding of the Vietnam War came from the half-page “note” in my history book, my father’s comments about being in the lotto, but luckily not deployed and Hollywood movies like “Born on the Fourth of July” and “Good Morning Vietnam.”
Most movies and history books focus on the fact that it was a very controversial war. The war was not popular and returning GIs were not welcome back with ticker-tape parades. Many had seen things that were too horrific to talk about to their families or friends.
I have always heard the soldier’s side of what happened, but this weekend I heard a South Vietnamese woman’s side. Her story broke my heart.
Duyen Pham-Madden worked in the volunteer check-in trailer during The Wall That Heals – Blue Springs event. Several people told me that I had to hear her story – it was amazing. After the fourth person told me about her, I decided to check it out for myself. I had been trying to document the event with photos and notes for the past two days.
I sat down in the trailer and asked if she would share only what she wanted to tell me about her journey to the Untied States.
The first thing she tells me is that “America is Heaven.” She tells me how fortunate she is to live here and how she thanks every veteran she meets for her freedom.
Her family left Vietnam when she was 12. Duyen's family escaped on April 30, the day Saigon fell to the North Vietnamese Army. What she remembers most of Vietnam was that she would have power for 1-2 hours a day and at night the house rocked from the constant bombing.
She left Saigon on the last boat in the harbor – it was only there because it was broken down and the crew were frantically trying to repair it. It was repaired just in time and they fled before the North Vietnamese Army could board it. Her parents thought the ship would go out to sea for a few days and come back as they had done many times before. The ship never went back to Saigon. They left Vietnam with only the clothes on their back.
Duyen’s family were transferred to Guam where they waited for a family to sponsor them into the Untied States. The DeWyze family in Arlington Heights, Il sponsored her family and they went to live with them.
Time passes and Duyen goes to live with a family friend in Blue Springs, Missouri to attend high school. Duyen tells me that she is married to the man I passed on my way into the trailer, Trenton. She graduated with him from Blue Springs High School and that I should talk to him. She said that she had forgotten some of the details of her journey here, but he would remember. I could tell that she just couldn’t talk about it any more, but wanted her story told.
Before I leave she tells me again how much she loves America and is grateful to live here and live the American dream. She says that she wouldn’t change anything in her life, because it was how she was able to stand there, in the volunteer trailer and talk to the Veterans that freed her family.
I head down the gravel path to Trenton who is in charge of parking motorcycles for the day. I told him that his wife said I should talk to him. He already knows why I’m there, Duyen texted him that I was on my way.
“She still wakes up in her sleep,” Trenton said. “She is so strong – it still amazes me, her story needs to be told, but she can’t tell all of it – it’s still too hard.”
Trenton tells me about the actual trip here to America for his wife. The boat that left the harbor transferred their passengers to a US Navy ship while at sea. The only thing they had were wooden boards for them to cross on. Duyen remembers a woman holding her baby as she crossed; the woman stumbled and dropped her baby into the sea below. Duyen was only 12 when she saw this and it has haunted her since.
One of the passengers aboard her ship had been caught trying to escape Vietnam and they beheaded his daughters in front of him as punishment. The ship was full of horror stories like these.
I honestly had to force myself to stay and listen to more of Duyen’s story told to me by her husband. I could hardly listen anymore; I was amazed that Duyen’s spirit wasn’t crushed from the cruelty she had seen in her youth.
Duyen’s parents thought the rest of their family was killed when the North invaded Saigon. Years later they found out their family had survived, but were imprisoned in a “reeducation camp” for over five years. Her parents visited Vietnam a few years ago, but she has not returned to Vietnam.
I asked Duyen to join Trenton outside for a quick photo, I wanted a picture of them together for my notes. Duyen told me again that she would go through everything again so that she could be here in America and have the family she has now. She tells me that she is thankful for everything here in America because she remembers what it was like to have nothing.
After leaving the volunteer area, I felt very ungrateful for all that I have. I felt every bit the American stereotype that you see in foreign films. Hearing stories like Duyen’s makes me realize that my problems are very trivial and petty. In the big picture, we live in a wonderful country and should be grateful to all the veterans who gave their lives for our freedoms.
Thank you veterans for my freedom.
Thank you for posting this. I have heard some of the stories. This is one war that was quickly swept under a rug. We always need a reminder of what happened and how much we have.
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