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on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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I have written about this before... my son has no friends his age and it's our fault.
I guess he has two friends.. but do kids at daycare count? I hope so. They are the only kids he really gets to play with.
We are the first couple in our group of friends to have kids and it looks like it's going to be that way for a while.
Niko is very loved by all of his "aunts and uncles" but I do worry that he will have trouble relating to other kids. He doesn't really have a lot of chances to play with other kids - especially right now in the winter time.
I have thought about enrolling him in some YMCA or community center classes, but my work schedule makes that challenging.
So what's a girl to do?
Would it sound weird if I approached someone at a public playground and asked if we could be friends so our kids could play together? "So... your son/daughter looks to be my son's age. Wanna hang out so my kid doesn't grow up to be weird?" I doubt I would meet many new friends that way...
There is also the challenge of forming a new group of friends while maintaining our current group of friends. We have had a ton of friends suddenly drop of the side of the planet after having kids. I vowed that would not happen to us -we weren't going to disappear like so many others.
So how do I do both? I know you can't have both.... but I would like to come close.
Anyone else in our situation? Know of any cool playgroups here in town?
I think kids at daycare do count as a "friends". My children have had countless friendships acquired at daycare...otherwise it would be considered torture I think. It is easier during the summer when you can go to the park and hang out with the other kids and moms..but sometimes churches have groups for moms...and there are some MOPS groups, but I don't know if those kind of groups meet in the evenings or not.My teenage daughter's best friend is a girl she met in the baby room at the daycare where they spent their preschool years together. I consider this girl another member of our family just as her family does my daughter. My college son has connected on Facebook with old friends from the daycare years. I firmly believe there are no friends like old friends. Follow your son's lead--invite over any kids he wants to connect with. The best part was I found some wonderful new friends for myself through my children!Since you've moved, have you guys thought about sending Niko to a daycare/Early Learning Childcare Center with more kids his own age to play with? Look up Parks and Rec activities in Clay county or see if you can make some of those YMCA things. There are some places where Niko can start Preschool as early as 2 years old. You just have to find the full time ones with after care since you guys both work. I know a few places with full time Preschool at 2 years... hit me up. I know it's hard to find places as working parents, but they are out there! Bo has made some good friends in his short little 4 year old life... The full time Preschool is cheaper than infant care in most places. Maybe you can work out something with your current care provider, like go part time at a daycare center some days, and other days he can stay with the person he's used to... I've also heard of a few in-home care providers who will drive your child to a part time program and pick them up afterwards... have you asked about that?Daycare definitely counts! We have a few friends we meet up with now and then, but my kids make a new friend everytime we go somewhere. To them, a crowded park or pool is an opportunity for "new best friends". For a while, I had a regular playgroup I met up with, but those kids tended to get into scuffles and ended up not being friends now. I think it's good to see a familiar friend every now and then, but kids just want to play - not develop deep relationships. The ability to meet someone new and develop a short-term rapport is a great skill that we adults seem to lose!Day care friends absolutely count. That's no different from the kids he'll meet at school, or the people you meet at work.How old is he? Daycare friends definately count and he just isn't exposed to a lot of other kids unless you do go to the park, pool, etc. From the looks of the picture on your blog, I don't think he is old enough to notice. Mommy and Daddy are still his best friends!I feel your pain! I'm a stay-at-home mom, so my daughter doesn't have a daycare to go to and have some friends. Which means that friends from daycare do count, in my mind ;-) As far as group of friends... who says you can't do both? If you put your mind into it, you can do anything!As the others have mentioned, daycare totally counts, since these kids are in his peer group. I think it's fine to chat up a new mom while on an outing. Maybe the two of you are sharing a bench watching your kids play in the sand. A few friendly comments may turn into a conversation and you might find that one woman next to you may have fabulous friend material. It's tough when your the first in group to have kids, but the rewards come later. Just think, when you are done with diapers and the kids are in school, your friends are just starting the tough part. You can be the one with the advice (and be really glad that it's not you changing the diapers anymore).Why don't you try going to church? Lots of families, neighbors, morals, playgrounds, etc. There's really no downside to itDaycare counts. At this age the issue is really sociaization, not actual friend making. Kids this age pretty much only parallel play anyway. Don't worry. I am sure you're not scarring him by being the first to have kiddos. Someone always has to be first! :-)Maybe you could re-connect with your friends that "dropped off" now that you have a little one. As someone who worked in early childhood with that age children, they really are not that interested in playing with others anyway. Your childcare situation sounds like a fine arrangement.Daycare counts. One of my peeps claims one of the boys in her class is her best friend. Not sure how the little boys feels about it. Of course, when we get home, Lightening McQueen is her best friend.We could always start a preschoolers' play group--it would just be challenging to find a location that would work for everyone (especially in this weather!).Daycare friends are great! Colin made some great friends at daycare before I came a SAHM. Now that he is almost 5 we have him in an indoor noncompetitive soccer league. (It is really like they get to play for an hour a week at a large fake indoor field.) He loves it! He knows the kids names and can't wait to play with them the next week. Another great place we have found is Little Monkey Bizness, he and his sister can run around and play and there are lots of other kids doing the same thing there!
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