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Christi Diggs
on May 23 2013 - 06:00 AM
A drop of spin, a cup of deception and tsp. politics=Apathy
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Lindsay Metcalf
on May 22 2013 - 06:00 AM
When that tornado siren sounds, I'm in the basement
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mara williams
on May 21 2013 - 06:00 AM
Summer break has this mom on a house upkeep war path.
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- kim nakahodo - Profile | Pictures | Blog
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We actually moved this weekend.
Wow. I honestly thought this day would never come.
Our housing deal died three times before we got to this point. The buyer of our house is having some trouble getting his finances in order – can’t buy our new house without selling our old one first.
We are *supposed* to close on both houses the day before Thanksgiving (fingers crossed!) Until then we are renting the house we are buying since no one could help us move Thanksgiving weekend.
My parents drove down from Chicago to help us move and get settled in the new house.
It’s hard living so far away from my parents… and it’s gotten even harder now that we have kids.Niko had no idea who they were and wouldn’t go near them. “Ohh… he doesn’t know who we are. We are strangers to him. It’s OK,” my mom said.
Ouch…. my heart broke when I heard her say that.
I know it’s true, but it’s another thing to see/hear it in person. I grew up only knowing my Chicago grandparents – my other grandparents lived in Louisiana and we didn’t see them often.
The circle is continuing with my son. He is very close to my husband’s family, but doesn’t know mine at all. It breaks my heart, but our lives are here in KC and we can’t travel to Chicago as much as I would like.
I know lots of people are in the same situation as I am. I have a blog page so my folks can see how Niko is doing on a daily process, but what can I do so Niko feels the same way?
How do you keep your kids connected to their out-of-state grandparents? I need some ideas…..
I'm not in your situation but I've known people who are. There is always Skype or DVD's sent back and forth. They talk to him and he sees their faces.When you figure it out let me know too. All of the boy's grandparents are back in IL. Up until our move here a year ago they saw them all on a pretty regular basis. DS15 is old enought that he calls them quite a bit. DS3 only talks for a moment & then he is done. I just sent them all a ccoleection of photos to keep them up on what they are doing. I have never tried Skype. I am not super computer savvy. I know, it is super hard.Ask for web cams for christmas. My DS is two now, but he has loved looking at photo albums and our photo log on the computer since he was 1. I set the computer on 'slideshow' and he sits and watches the photos and calls out who he sees "Pa Pa.... doggie water..... Mommy tunnel"My son works in Los Angeles. We are trying Skype so I can see his face as well as hear his voice. So far we haven't been able to get his older laptop to cooperate. We talk every evening on our cell phones. I know that won't last forever, but he knows how hard it is for me to have him so far away. Also, I think those recordable books from Hallmark would make a great Christmas present. He could hear their voice every night.Frankly, I don't keep my mom updated that much. Many times I wouldn't call her for a few weeks after a new child was born. I once put her to the test, took her 2 years to call me. My father passed away 9 years ago, and communication was only somewhat better wth him. Instead of focusing on how far away they are, perhaps focus on how just close they are, if only in spirit.It is super hard. It is no surprise that I don't care for my in-laws, but they are still my DH's parents no matter how much they drink. At first my DH was very upset that our kids would not see them or know them since they are in PA, but the kids have had a few chances to meet them and have come to their own conclusions that their grandfather is okay, but watch out for their grandmother. For them we do the blog page and for our kids we talk about them all of the time. Even though the kids may not love them to death, the do tolerate them when they are around (maybe once a year) and that is all I can ask for. My FIL did come stay with us for a couple of weeks this summer (whole different story) but the kids really warmed up to him while he was here and have talked about him non-stop ever since. (While he was at our house the drinking stopped, so he was more able to pay attention to the kids.) Every situation brings new challenges, you just have to figure out what would work best!My dad was gone a lot for his job when we were kids...A LOT. He used to make cassette tapes of him playing the guitar/singing our favorite bedtime songs and reading books to us. We still have some, and they're such treasures. You could have grandma and grandpa do this for some special books and make a book cover for each one with a picture of whomever is reading the book. Also, when the boys were little we made little magnet people of all the grandparents/aunts, etc... with their pictures on the face, and we kept them low on the fridge. The boys would play with them and we'd say "Oh look, it's Gigi!" or whoever...Aww Neba thats sweet. :) I was going to suggest web cams for x-mas too. I could image being away from my mom, my kids adore her. Paternal Gma lives in CA, My dd has only meet her once when she was 3 months. She hardly ever asks about them and never request pictures so I dont make an effort either. My dad or grandfather do crap either so ts just my mom and sisters and brother. Hope you can figure something out. Maybe you can send them a digital photo frame. You can add music and recordings on there and then every 6 months or so send them a memory card with updated picturesSkype is so great!!! My parents live in WI. My mom bought 2 copies of the same book. We call her on the computer and she reads the book to my 2yo. We turn the pages together and she hears it from her 'MeMom'.We lived in Salt Lake City when my youngest was born, and most family was here in KC. I just talked to my kids about their extended family a lot. We made cards and looked at pictures. Each of their aunts had a song they'd sing on the phone, so that's how my girls identified with them. We'd have silly associations with them (ie: Aunt R is the "head, shoulders, knees and toes" aunt, remember?") My mother had passed away shortly before my youngest was born, and she thinks she remembers her Grams because we've made her "real" to her. You can do this with your relatives, living or not. You'll be fine. It's fun sometimes!I don't necessarily want my daughter seeing much of her grandparents on either side of the family, which is what I think is sad.I grew up with Grandparents in Wichita and in England. My Wichita grandparents died when I was four. I have memories of dribing to their house, the smell of biscuits, my grandad's pipe, and rocking in his rocking chair holding his crazy old grumpy cat. Oh and we played marbles and poker (yes, I was four when they taught me blackjack- I knew how to add to 21 before I learned 2+2!) My England grandparents I met for the first time when I was 4, just after my Dad's parents died in Wichita. I didn't get to know my Gran and Grandad until I was 12. I got postacrds and everything, and letters and we talked at leats once a month, but I didn;t get to know them until my tween years- but I savor those moments I did get with them. I went to visit them again in high school, when they both got sick, and I was there when Grandad died, and heard my Gran tell me she loved me for the first time one week before she died, two days before my flight. It's not quantity, it's quality and I enjoyed every moment I shared with them. My stepkids are getting to know my parents better and they spend one night a month there and they enjoy it. My parents look forward to those weekends. Your son will learn to as well if you focus on the time thery do have. Picture books of the family, photo albums all keep them connected. My son knows his great grandparents and they never met each other.Personally my kids LOVE my parents, and have nothing to do with DH's. That is due to the fact that they never were excited to be grandparents, because they thought they were too young with mine, but LOVE my SIL's kids. There loss, because my kids rock. I can't force it with them either, because I can't stand them either.....OOPS! A GREAT idea would be to have your mom and dad get the Night Before Christmas book from Hallmark (the recordable one) and record it, and send it to him before Christmas. It will be one that he can have for many years. Hurry though, because they are flying off of the shelves:)I will have to check into this "Skype" thing... it sounds pretty good. I'm seeing my folks this weekend for Thanksgiving. Looks like I will be shopping Black Friday for a few webcams!! Thank you to everyone!My grandchildren live in the Detroit area. I promised myself and them, when my granddaughter was born, to see them once a month. That was 2 1/2 years ago. I fly there often, or we meet at another place. I also speak to them on the phone almost every day. Even our little 4-month old grandson "talks" to me with his coos. I talk to him so he knows my voice. When I see them, they know my voice. I also look them in the eye and handle them comfortably, without fear on my part, when I see them. It helps to sing them to sleep or read stories to them at bed time when I am at their house. They know me as well as the grandparents who live close to them. And I think they enjoy my company better. When I am at their house, I am just another member of their family, not company.I was touched by your post. Our 28-month-old granddaughter lives 1,500 miles away. It's gotten easier as she gets older and more verbal. Our weekly webcam experience is much more interactive now! (and really, it's Not hard!) One of the things I did in the more pre-verbal phase was to send a family book of pictures (one of those small "grandma" books you can get at any Hallmark store) with pictures of her with different family members. She loves books, and she started to be able to point out the people by name! Now she automatically goes and gets her pictures when you say, "Gramps," or "Grammy" or "Gigi" (great-grandma), etc. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving!
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