I am doing a flash-back blog this week.  We went to the photographer this weekend and I was reminded again how much I hate this process!  We are not doing the official monthly photos with Ryker-kun, we did have a tough time with our older son again.... sigh.... some things never change.  :)

Call me a hippie, but I am starting a back to real food campaign in Casa De Nak.  I have had enough of the new American diet.  Processed food may be faster, but is it better?  I am really starting to question that….

Both DH and I work 50-60 hours a week so any short cut in meal prep is welcome.  (I am going to start working on knocking those hours down as well… but that is a different blog all together.)  I will be honest; I have served a lot of add-water-and-meat-then-cook meals in my day.  I’m not proud of that, but it is a bi-product of working full time and being the sole cook.  DH could cook, but then again, I don’t want my house to burn down or eat PB&J every night.

I recently watched the HBO series ‘The Weight of the Nation’ as part of my work’s wellness program.  Wow.  Pretty big impact on me, really. If you have not seen the series, click here.  HBO streams the entire documentary series online.

My favorite quote of the series is, “We have build a cheap food model…. The kind of food that we eat now is food that is the most profitable.”  

Truer words have never been spoken.  

This is how I have been feeding my family for at least half of my meals.  It may not have been my proteins, but almost all of my side dishes were processed foods.  Rice dishes, pasta dishes, anything out of a box – I tried it.  

I am really going to try to avoid box meals from now on.  Like most things, this is easier said than done.  I implemented the new ‘diet’ a few weeks back and here are my early findings:

Be prepared to spend a LOT more time in the kitchen.  I now spend most of my Sunday afternoons prepping meals for the week.   Like 3-4 hours.  So far, it has been worth it.

Secondly, I am finding some resistance from Niko-chan.  He is the target audience for processed foods including kids cereal, gummy snacks and candy.  He sees them advertised and wants them.  I am considering switching his entire TV watching to videos to avoid commercials.  It’s really the only thing I can do to combat advertising… I am way out gunned in that department.

One thing I am really strugglng with is not buying low-fat or no-fat items.  I have been trained to purchase these products and have been buying them for years and years.  Thanks to the interwebs, I am rethinking my stand on low-fat/no-fat items.

You see, several of my friends have joined a cult…. You know… the CrossFit cult.  Do you have any of these cult friends?   They are die-hard Paleo fans… just Google Paleo if you are unfamiliar with the term or are not friends with any CrossFiters…. Yet.

One of the 500,000 MEMS on my Facebook thread from my CrossFit friends struck a nerve.  I will have to edit the quote a bit but it goes like this, “Whenever you see the words ‘fat-free’ or ‘low-fat,’ think of the words ‘chemical &^#$ storm’”  There is definitely something to that.  So I have been buying the real deal when I can…. I figure at least my body will recognize what it is that way.

Things were going well… then I heard about the dairy industry petitioning the FDA to allow them to add aspartame to milk WITHOUT advertising it on the packaging.

What??!?!?!?  That is CRAZY!  If you missed that story, click here to see the NPR story about it.  If you would like to sign the online petition to STOP this, click here.

Will the new, hippy version of me last?  That’s hard to say, but I am going to try!

The more and more of a plugged-in life I lead, the more and more I begin to hate it.  There, I said what most people who live with a smartphone strapped to our sides think.  Or we would think it if we weren’t so busy checking our email/twitter/facebook feeds.

My profession requires me to be plugged in 24/7, weekends, nights, vacations and even in my dreams.  When I hear my phone buzz, I am compelled to check it.  It might be important!  Or it might be a Groupon….

Being plugged in to our workflow at all times can be handy, but I am finding that it can also be a pain.  I find it is hard to separate my two worlds since they are blending more and more together.  My work life has really started to seep into my home time.  Is anyone else struggling with this?

The snow event last week underscored my concerns as I was lampooned at home with the entire family while trying to ‘work from home.’  

I find that ‘being able to work from home’ is the biggest job perk lie you will ever hear.  I want to yell in my best Admiral Ackbar, “It’s a TRAP!”  

When you first hear that you can work from home, images of tele-commuting in your PJs comes to mind.  Beautiful.  Then, reality hits.  What it really means is that even a natural disaster can’t slow the work train…. if anything, in my profession, it compounds things!  

Last week, working moms who could tele-commute were robbed of a perfectly wonderful snow day with the kids.  Instead of sitting around in my PJs, hanging with the family and relaxing all day; I was frantically trying to churn out work while bouncing a baby on my lap and having Niko shove an empty juice cup in my face.

I digress; this is probably because I have never been very good at working from home.  DH is really good at it, but I struggle with the distractions.  I prefer working in my office, a place designed for work.  I feel like my home is designed for my family…. and I like the separation between the two.

Any other working mommas feel the same way?  I really, really wanted to like the perk of working from home… perhaps I just need a vacation away from my smartphone. 

Last Friday, I decided to try a new restaurant over my lunch hour.  This new hamburger joint recently opened and was getting good reviews online and through word of mouth.  When given the opportunity, I would much rather support a local business than a chain restaurant.  I know they both employ people and impact the local economy, but opening a non-chain restaurant takes more guts and I love supporting people chasing their dreams.

Upon entering the restaurant, I was impressed at the quality of ingredients, but what really struck me was the sign over the cash register.   Of course now I wish I had snapped off a photo of the sign, but it reads: “A portion of your purchase will be donated to registered local charities.  We support local charities.”  

YES!  The owner of the new restaurant was the one that took our order and I complemented him on his commitment to local charities.   I told him that his dedication to giving back to the community went further to earning a return trip from me than a coupon off my next purchase.

The older I get, the more important this is to me.  I want you to give back to the community you serve with the money I give you.  Think about diverting money from your advertising budget and putting it into local philanthropy.  This speaks louder to me than a cleaver TV spot.  Or if you do advertise, mention a recent donation to a local charity in the ad.  

When I was shopping for a new dentist, I was impressed by a recent news story featuring a dentist that for one day opens his doors to anyone that needs dental work for free.  People were lined up around the block to get the free service, many of them were in line for their kids.  You may not realize this, but most dentists DO NOT accept Medicaid.  If you have a child that needs dental care and have no insurance, you are in the cash only lane.  When I called to schedule my appointment, I mentioned that I wanted to be a patient of a practice that gave back to the community.

How about you guys?  Is this something that is important to you or am I just in crazy land….

Who watched Beyonce’s Super Bowl performance?

Wow.  Amazing.  

Her performance was not only electrifying (heheh) because of her amazing talent, stage design and larger-than-life presence, but because it was nice not seeing someone 50+ after nipple-gate.

I highly enjoyed Madonna’s performance as well, but it was nice to have a younger demographic in the mix.  I really liked Beyonce’s all-girl band/dance troop last night.  I felt my Girl Power spirit coming back.

As I watched Beyonce tear off pieces of her costume, one overwhelming though came to my mind.  She is a mom just like me…. How do I not look like that?

Oh, I know.  My job involves sitting on my duff all day instead of shaking it.  Truth be told, her job is to look AND sound amazing.  Her career prioritizes her body image and that includes providing her a team to oversee her nutrition and work out routines.  

If my career centered on my body image, I would be in trouble.  I think if careers where assigned by body image, I would be in line for something in the example setting section.  “Here is what happens when you don’t take care of yourselves kids!  Eat right and exercise or you look like this…..”  (Insert children’s terror-cries.)

Thank goodness my paycheck isn’t tied to my dancing ability.   Then again, I would probably be much skinnier if it were….

Considering I did not win the lottery on Saturday, I am unsure when I will be able to hire my private chef and personal trainer to obtain my Beyonce figure.  I think the only way I could get Beyonce’s figure right now is to buy one of those t-shirt with her body shape printed on it.  You know, one of the nice ones with glitter.

So, I plan to start shaking my duff more often.  I should probably let the neighbors know so they can tie down the breakables.  Swim suit season will be here before we know it….  Yikes.

WAHAHAHHAHHAHAHH!!!!  Every 2-3 hours.  Plan on it.  Every night for the last two weeks.

Gone are the lovely nights of 6 hours of sleep; they have been replaced by hunger-screams at the foot of our bed.  Yea… you heard that right, Ryker is still in our bedroom.

I know, I know…. WHAT?  He’s like 5-months-old now, right?  

Yes, he is.  I have a TERRIBLE fear of SIDS and I feel better knowing that my baby is in his pack-n-play just a few feet away from me.  Perhaps knowing I am near will keep his soul from being spirited away.  We kept Niko in our room until he was 6-months-old.  I like keeping my babies close for many reasons, but the two big ones are fear and feeding.  Being a nursing momma, co-locating it just makes sense.

Anyway, after two weeks of waiting to put Ryker on cereal, I broke down this weekend.  I just can’t take the late night hunger-screams any more.  Ryker eats… a lot.  The amount of formula I have had to supplement has doubled in the last month and now he’s throwing down 8-10 ounces before bedtime.  In the ‘new normal’ of screaming overnights, he has another 12 ounces before morning.

We have been putting a little bit of cereal in his bedtime bottle for the last few nights and what a difference!  I know that the ‘Pediatrician Gods’ frown on introducing foods before 6 months of age, but they are not in my bedroom at 2 a.m.   Nor do they have to try to function on 5 hours of broken sleep.  In today’s scary, lay-off world, DH and I both need to be able to perform at work.  That sounds terrible, but our jobs PAY for the pediatrician yelling at me for introducing cereal too soon.

My mom thinks I value the ‘Pediatrician Gods’ recommendations too highly.  She constantly reminds me that they raised us without these recommendations and we turned out just fine and she is right!  To quote my mom, “Kimmy, if your baby is hungry, then feed him.  Obviously, he is ready for solids if he is eating that much milk that often.  Doctors can recommend anything they want, they don’t have to listen to your hungry baby crying all night.”

Sorry ‘Pediatrician Gods,’ but I am going to side with my mom on this.  How about you guys… did you follow the rules?

I first wrote this blog in 2011 and it mentions a blog I wrote in 2009.  The blog talks about interracial marriage, biracial kids and our society growing more accepting.  I thought it would be kinda nice to relect back today on Martin Luther King, Jr. which happens to also be the Inauguration Day of our first biracial president.

Here is my flash-back blog, "Thank you for my family, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr."

This blog is dedicated to my friend’s sister who has written about her son Emerson, born with Trisomy 18.  This condition is caused when a baby develops three sets of chromosome 18, instead of the two that humans typically have.
 
To quote the Chromosome 18 Registry & Research Society, “Babies with Trisomy 18 typically have complex medical problems.  Birth defects are very common in these babies.  They may have defects of the heart, brain, spinal cord, and other internal organs.  Cleft lips and palates are also more common in babies with Trisomy 18.  They may have hand and foot anomalies.  Babies with Trisomy 18 may have difficulty regulating their breathing and temperature.  They may also be unable to feed properly.

Because of the large number of potential medical problems, babies with Trisomy 18 are usually considered ‘medically fragile.’  Most children with Trisomy 18 die before or shortly after birth.  Five to ten percent of babies with Trisomy 18 live past their first birthday.”

Here is Emerson’s story, the story of a little boy that fights harder than anyone I have ever met.

Emerson ~ 18 months ~ Partial Trisomy 18q


Emerson was diagnosed with Partial Trisomy 18q at 17 weeks gestation due to family history of a translocation as well as “soft” signs found on ultrasound (club foot and nuchal fold thickening). Emerson was induced at 40 weeks 2 days and immediately admitted to comfort care while in the hospital and Hospice at home at 2 days old. He was not able to latch to the breast or the bottle – NG tube placed at 24 hours of age. At 19 hours of age, he began having obstructive apnea episodes that caused him to turn blue – the longest lasting 1 minute. He was placed on oxygen at that time. Emerson continued to be a pale color unless he was skin-to-skin with Mom for the first 2 months of his life. He was less pale when he was skin to skin with others, but pink when with Mom – we utilized a Moby wrap during the day and then he slept skin to skin on Mom’s chest at night.

I wrote about this before, but my little VW Golf was totaled out a few weeks ago.  Not the idea family roadster, but she was paid off and reliable.  Although when all four of us go poured out of the doors, it did resemble a clown car.

After searching online for days, we took a day and went car shopping.  Ugh.  The first used car lot we went to was just as terrible as I feared.  At first, I thought it was one of those hidden camera shows.  Why do all used car lots look so run down, smell funny and have desperate looking men in them?

We spent hours test driving cars and hopping from one car dealer to another.  We visited both new and used dealers, but one thing was the same – they are happy to see you.

I knew more about the cars we test-drove than the salesmen to be honest.  I should!  I spent hours cyber-stalking the cars I had ‘marked’ for our big hunt days before we went out.

We test drove several types of cars, which took forever since every salesman’s goal is to have you stay as long as possible.   We tried sub-compact, hatchbacks, SUVs, vans, crossovers and finally, the car-van.  I was almost sold on a small SUV, but when I pictured both of my boys four years from now, I couldn’t imagine the four of us fitting in it.

DH fell in love with the car-van immediately.  He was ready to buy it on the spot, but I needed a few more days.  I needed to convince myself that I was really ready for the car-van stage of my life.  I know that sounds stupid, but this was going to be my car and going from an ultra-subcompact zippy car to a middle-aged-mom-sliding –door car was going to take a bit of getting used to!  (BTW, I know how stupid this sounds…. I have two growing boys and I am on the downward slide to 40 for crying out loud!!)  But having a car-van is different… it’s REAL.  Sigh.

Two days later with spreadsheets in hand, (yes, I LOVE a good spreadsheet) I was ready to say goodbye to sub-compact Kim and hello to car-van Kim.  We negotiated a good deal and drove away in our new Mazda 5.  (I crunched the numbers and a well-negotiated new one was actually cheaper than the used one we were looking at after the incentives and special APR rates.)

It kills me to say it, but having sliding doors is AWESOME.  Why did I fight this?  It reminds me when I was pregnant with Niko and refused to wear the big stretchy pregnancy pants until I was 7 months pregnant.  So stupid.  Once I put those glorious stretchy pants on, I was in heaven.  I guess sliding doors are my stretchy pants for cars…  once I actually tried them, I liked them!

Last week was a total loss for DH.  Total Loss is the newest fun-times statement around our house after our Golf accident two weeks ago.  Mr. ‘I don’t do flu shots’ came down hard with the flu on Christmas Eve. 

When the kids awoke on Christmas Day, DH watched them from his make-shift bed on the floor.  I knew where this was going… DH was about to be down for the count.  I love DH with all of my heart, but his constitution isn’t the best.   When he gets sick, it devastates him.  I had a bad feeling he was going to come down with something soon; you can only burn the candle at both ends for a while before it catches up with you. 

Ho, Ho, Ho!  Merry Christmas!  What did Santa have in his bag for us?  An unwanted car payment!

On Monday, I was hit by a woman who, “Oh my God!  I didn’t even see you!”  Yea. I know.  I saw you driving toward me, but there was nothing I could do.  It’s a tale that has been told hundreds of times over the last few weeks; I was T-Boned in a poorly designed parking lot.  I was in the drive lane, she was headed out of the parking area unaware that she needed to yield to cross-traffic.  There are dozens of these types of parking lots around the metro.  I have yet to meet anyone that hasn’t almost been hit by an unaware motorist in a newer shopping development.

Big picture of this wreck is that neither of us were hurt and we both had insurance.  I was VERY thankful that I was alone in my car without my kiddos.  My car was struck right where Ryker would have been.  Very scary. Big metal things can be replaced, people cannot. I was sweating a bit before her insurance company assumed liability.  Wrecks in parking lots are like gunfights in the Wild West.  No laws.  No rules.

I survived the wreck, but my poor little car did not.  Honestly, I knew the second I opened my eyes that I was now sitting in a totaled vehicle.  I HAD a tiny sub-compact car.  Not exactly the ideal family roadster, but she was paid off and very reliable.  We eventually planned on replacing my car – AFTER Ryker got out of the baby room.  Until then, we had hoped to make our current cars work.  As many of you know, having TWO kids in daycare is VERY expensive.  Like, more than a mortgage expensive.

It seems that fate had other plans though… my car was totaled on Friday.  I had a tiny feather of hope that this was not the case, but I knew better.  You know that the insurance company is planning to total your car when they tell you not to take it to a body shop: “Ma’am, we will be sending a field agent out to assess the damage before we authorize repair.” CODE:  Your car is SO old that we don’t even want to pay for the gas to drive your car to a body shop.  We know it’s totaled without even looking at it, but we will send someone out to take pictures to make you feel better.

So, we are car shopping.  We are looking in the crossover/hatchback/mini-suv or mini-minivan world.  So my question is, what do you drive?  Do you love or hate your car?

Every year I say the same thing, “This is the year I am DONE shopping by Thanksgiving!”  I am proud to say that this year, I was done with the boys’ gifts by Thanksgiving…. the problem is that I didn’t stop shopping after I was ‘done.’

I should know better!  I worked in retail for 12 years, I know all the tricks.  The on-propose store mazes, the well placed (and sponsored) endcaps, the colorful signage, the ‘hot’ sales prices and coupons and the phasing of merchandise.  

I have a set budget and a special account that I draw funds from for Christmas.  I figured that out years ago… but I sidestep my own cleaver planning by purchasing things throughout the year.  I am terrible about buying things year-round then forgetting about them.  I buy stuff in August and shove it in a hiding place and forget about it until I go to wrap it.

I visited my gift hoard last night and wow.  Yea… I over did it again.  The biggest problem is that I am a giant nerd and I am into all of the things my son is just now getting in to. I had to wait for him to grow up enough for him to love Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Star Trek, Pokemon, Ninja Turtles and video games as much as I do.  I am also a self-proclaimed toy collector and now have a valid reason to buy action figures.  Awesome.  I have been buying them for years for no reason; it feels great to be able to buy them for their intended purpose!

It’s hard to pass up a cute $3 gift here and there for my kids, my friends and coworkers.  I really need to just stay in the rest of December.  Then again, Amazon calls my name when I a home as well!  It’s really hard to (nerd quote) ‘Stay on Target’ when I am at Target doing my grocery shopping!  I am supposed to be there to buy nourishing food for my family, but they do such a great job of incorporating holiday products into their shelves, it’s hard to say no!

After this weekend, I am REALLY done though.  That’s it.  I only have a few gift cards left on my list and I plan to knock those out online this coming weekend.  I have gone over my budget, but not by much.  The good news is that I am done for Easter now too!

How about you guys?  Are you stronger than I am (probably)?

Side Note:  I have brought out the Elf on a Shelf this weekend.  So far so good.  I have decided that my elf will not be mischievous.  I mean, I bought that creepy thing to CURB that behavior in my house, right?  Not to encourage it.  :)

I’m just going to come right out and say it; I still have my pregnancy muffin top.  

There.  I feel better, don’t you?  The truth is, I care, but I don’t.  The weight will eventually come off, I’m sure of it.  It did with my first pregnancy, and I have confidence it will this time around as well.

I expect it will take longer this time because I am four years older and on the downward slope to my not-so-thirties anymore.  I fit in my pre-maternity clothes, but they have looked better on me… and I am in my ‘fat pants’ side of the closet.

To be honest, I have bigger issues than my larger derriere. I’m not worried my calorie-count because I am more concerned with my milk production.  

Four years has made a difference between baby #1 and baby #2.  My recovery time was longer, my weight is sticking around longer and my milk production is lower.  

Four years ago, I didn’t have to supplement Niko’s food supply at all.  In fact, I was producing so much milk that I took over the freezer for the first year of his life.  Now, I’m lucky if I don’t have to give Ryker any formula for the day.  Most days, I come up short by about 8 ounces.

There is quite a bit of guilt that comes along with having to supplement his meals. When I feed him a formula bottle he fusses at first, then eventually takes it.  I feel like he’s looking at me with disappointment.  I know he isn’t of course, but I still feel guilt since I know that he’s getting a different experience than his brother.

There are many things different with his baby experience than his brother; I was able to stay longer with Niko, I didn’t have to supplement and Niko had our full attention.   I feel guilty as if I am short-changing Ryker’s childhood.

I know that’s not true, it’s the way it is. Ryker will always have a different experience.  He will wear hand-me-downs, play with his brother’s old toys and forever experience things after Niko has already done them.

Oh well, I will continue to make as much milk as I can for my new little man and supplement where I have to.   I am glad that we live in a time that there is formula around to help those of us that need it.  There are a lot of mommas that have no choice – my sister was one of them.

Time to get back to drinking my milk-enhancing tea that smells like black liquorice. Gross.  Only 9 more months of ‘enjoying’ that delicacy.  Then I’m trying the Insanity DVDs to get my groove back!

I am joking about the title, of course.  My little man wants to help you.  No matter what you are doing, or where we are at.  This is something that started off cute, but has progressed into something more in the cumbersome category.

I honestly think he’s gung-ho about helping because it’s something his brother can’t do right now.  Niko can help, Ryker cannot.  It’s a way for him to get attention because he can’t compete with the baby’s cuteness.

So any task you are trying to complete, add another 5-10 minutes.  We attended a fundraiser lunch this weekend and Niko wanted to help clear the plates and get drinks.  Some of this was driven by the Brownie Troup that was attending the tables offering those services.  (Incidentally this started right after a bunch of people wanted to hold the ‘new baby.’)

Like I said before, it started off as cute, but no one wants to encourage a 4-year-old to carry a cup of lemonade across a busy cafeteria room.  The third plate he cleared from our table, he spilled on the floor because he couldn’t reach the top of the trash can.  Sigh.  Great intentions, but because he is still a bit clumsy and short, it actually created a bigger mess than before he ‘helped.’  

I don’t want to quash his servant’s spirit, so I have to get creative and create jobs for him.  The thing Niko really wants to help with is cooking.  Yikes.  Images of him cutting his hand off or catching on fire immediately fill my head when he asks.  He used to be happy with just cracking eggs (this lead to MULTIPLE nights of eating omelets for a while) but now he wants to help stir the pots and put things in the oven.  Not my idea of helping… so I let him help me with the dishes, but there are only a few things he can really wash.  I don’t really have a lot of plastic dishware.

Anyone else have this problem?  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great problem to have, but I scrambling for age-appropriate projects for him.  Ideas?

Well, I survived my first week back at work.  I must say, it was a bit weird… I arrived at my work to piles of papers, hundreds of emails and 20+ voicemails.  It was almost enough for me to run away, but then again, I would have been running back home to a screaming baby.  To put it in nerd terms:  it was my Kobayashi Maru moment.

Actually, going back to work wasn’t that bad.  Why, you say?  Well, Ryker isn’t at daycare yet, he’s home with daddy for the next two weeks.  

DH volunteered to stay home with little man for a few weeks before he goes to daycare.  I had quite a bit of guilt about not being able to stay home with Ryker-kun as long as I did with Niko-chan.  I was able to max-out the FMLA allowance (3 months) with Niko, but I only had 8 weeks of leave scraped up for Ryker.  I could have taken 3 months with Ryker, but we really couldn’t swing the financials of a month without pay.

Soooo…. Enter Daddy Daycare!  A family friend said this was a great idea and that DH would appreciate my job more after his paternity leave.  At first, I didn’t believe her but after DH’s first week on the job, she’s right!  

Last Monday, I left the house at 6:20 a.m. and it looked like a bomb went off in the house.  (This is unfortunately nothing new right now…)  The kitchen was clean, but the office was full of laundry and toys were scattered all over the living room.  When I got home at 6 p.m., the house pretty much looked the same.

I asked how his day was and he said, “I couldn’t get anything done!  He cries the second you put him down!”  I laughed.  “Uhhh… Yea. I have been hanging with him for 8 weeks ya know.” I said.  “Now you know why I am so glad to see you when you get home!”

DH did get all of the laundry done… but he jokes that it took him 6 days to do it.  Yea… not kidding about that one.  It is tricky trying to keep up with the housework, make a home(ish) cooked meal and not windup in the nut house by the end of the day.

I’ll say it; we forgot how much work a newborn can be.  

We forgot that for the first 6 months of a baby’s life, your life is on their timetable.  Although you normally start dinner when you get home… today you will be nursing for 20 minutes, then a diaper change, then a costume change and then try to cook with a baby in your hands.  Did someone say frozen pizza for dinner?  Yup.

Does DH appreciate me more?  The answer is yes, but I think we both appreciate each other more through the newborn process.  I don’t know how single mommas do it to be honest!  Having a new baby makes me really appreciate DH even more… especially when he offers to hold the screaming baby for me.  :)

Today is my first official day back to work.  Sigh.  I have been both dreading and looking forward to this day.  I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.  The good thing is that DH is taking the next two weeks off to stay home so Ryker won’t have to go to daycare just yet.  Talk to me in two weeks… that’s when the guilt will really sink in.  You know… the working mom’s newborn guilt.

So I have made a quick list of pros and cons about today’s event.

PROS:
Today will be the first day that I have use of both hands all day.
The sense of accomplishment that comes with actually getting something checked off the To Do list.
Being able to talk to adults.
Getting away from the fridge.

CONS:
No more all day snuggly baby time.
Missing coos and baby smiles sprinkled throughout the day.
Not being able to wear PJs all day.
NO MORE NAPS!
I don’t fit into my work clothes.
Pumping at work.

How will I survived my first day back?  Well, I have lots of new photos and I will be texting DH throughout the day.  There is of course lots of time to think of my new baby while I pump.  (Yea.... not really looking forward to that for the next 10 months.)  And of course, I will be looking forward to seeing my new baby and my new big brother after work.  That is my greatest reward for a job well done!!

I have talked at length about this, but it’s only because I deal with the guilt constantly.  It’s really hard trying to have it all.  Work, Family, Career, Social Life, Well Rounded Kids, Strong Family Bond.  

How in the world do you have all of these things and still have clean laundry, dishes and a home-cooked meal?  HAHAHAHH!!!! The answer is you DON’T!!!!  Things slip – you have to prioritize things.  So, I have piles of laundry in the office and I cook all the home-cooked meals on Sunday and reheat throughout the week to make it work. 

So, I have been a mom to the second power for seven weeks – therefore, I am now a multi-kid expert.  I put together a quick list of the top three things the last seven weeks have taught me.  Now, mind you, these are my personal experiences, but I would LOVE to hear your three things list!

Birth REALLY IS easier the second time around!

This statement falls under the “you didn’t believe” section of the title.  I really did not believe this one.  My first labor was not fast, easy or enjoyable.  That bull$&@* about how magical birth was proven wrong with Niko’s labor experience.  I mentally prepared myself for another 18-hour labor with 2 full hours of pushing for Ryker’s birth.

Much to my delight, Ryker’s arrival was a one-push event.  My labor was still 14 hours, but the delivery part was much nicer!  Of course it helps that he came two weeks early and four weeks earlier than his brother….

The new baby won’t look like your first baby.

Yea…. SURPRIZE!  I knew they wouldn’t look exactly alike, but I didn’t think that baby #2 wouldn’t look anything like his brother.  To be honest, I was waiting for my husband to ask if Ryker was his!  (Yea… bad joke.)  I wrote about this earlier, but bi-racial babies can mess with the “who do I look like” question.

Ryker looked like I cloned my family tree; there weren’t many of DH’s features prevalent in him.  Of course, that has now changed, but I really was amazed how different they looked!  I am glad to report that Ryker is now the spitting image of his older brother at the same age.  :)  

The baby is easy; the older sibling is the challenge.

YEA….. the REAL shocker to us was how easy the baby was compared to our older son struggling for his place in our new lives.  Our normally cuddly, good-natured little boy turned into an explosive and very emotional child the second day of being home with the new baby.

I think my favorite quote from him was, “You are breaking my heart mommy.  You don’t love me anymore.”  YEA!  Here is your knife back son; you left it in my beating heart!   I could not believe the sense of betrayal he felt and how well he was able to verbalize his emotions.

We joked that it was going to be a hard transition for him to be knocked off his King Niko throne, but I really didn’t anticipate the emotional storm we would go through the first month of our new family nexus.   We called it Hurricane Niko just to give us something to laugh about during the first few weeks.  Every little reprimand turned into him yelling at us that we didn’t love him.   

My mom told us that it would eventually get better and not to be tricked by his power play.   She was right… it has gotten better.  Hearing your kid tell you that you don’t love them the first few times was really hard, but after hearing it a hundred times, it looses its meaning.  Yea… I don’t love you and you still have to go to bed.

So…. How did my list compare to your list?  What is the one thing you wish someone had told you before baby #2 came into your family?

Hello everyone!  Well, our little guy decided to come early on us, thankfully not too early, but it still caught us off guard.  

What?  How could that have caught you off guard?  Duh, you have been pregnant for 9 months and you knew eventually that baby was coming out, right?  

Well…  yes, but I was hoping for a couple more weeks.  We had our bags sort-of-packed for the big event, but not really.  I was planning on using the weekend that our little guy decided to show up as a power weekend of cleaning, prepping and task achieving.

Here is our little guy’s birth story as it were:

On Saturday, August 25 around 5:30 a.m. I woke up to DH yelling at the cat.  Nothing new there…. DH kinda got duped in to marrying a woman with two cats of which the one he didn’t mind recently passed away.  Now he is left with the cat he hates.  Matrix has an annoying habit of trying to sharpen his non-existent nails on the noisiest thing in the room in the wee hours of the night.

I stirred a bit then realized that I was kinda… moist.  I honestly thought I had peed on myself in the night.  My sister had a problem with my nephew punching her bladder while she was pregnant (in public and often) so I fearfully thought this was that.  I got out of bed and walked toward the bathroom and it was very clear that this was not stopping… my water broke!

I mentioned to DH that I thought my water broke and BOOM, that man was up and dressed before I knew it!  I didn’t even know he could move that quickly.  I called our doula, Teresa to let her know we were on the way to the hospital.  She reminded us that there was no rush, but we were worried since I am old and decided to head to the hospital.

This time it was very different since we had a wild card… Niko-chan.  We packed him up at 5:45 a.m. and DH tore out of the garage.  We just kept telling him that his brother was coming.  Niko started to look for him when we got to the “doctor’s house,” how I wish it could be that easy!

I was hoping that this time I would get to the hospital and they would tell me that I was 8 cm along and the baby would be here within the hour.  Yea…. a mighty 1 cm when I got there.  Thankfully, they didn’t turn me away since my water broke so up to the maternity ward we went.

I actually got to walk the maternity halls like you see on TV donning a big belly and hospital smocks.  I walked them for 4 ½ hours and I dilated another 1 cm to an unimpressive 2 cms by noon.  So my doctor recommended my old friend Pitocin.   How I hate that stuff, but it does work.

Because Pitocin is the work of the devil, I was in major pain by 4:30 p.m. and I begged to see the anesthesiologist for relief.  This is exactly what happened with Niko.  I was about 4 cms and several hours into ‘active’ labor with contractions every 2 minutes when I threw in the pain towel.  When I did this with Niko, I dilated quickly after the epidural – I think because I could actually relax and I had stopped fighting the pain.  I was hoping for the same luck with this one.

It took quite a bit of time to get the epidural this time around – almost 45 minutes.  Several pokes later (and the worst pain in my life between the contractions and needle pricks) I was finally getting some relief… ahhhh…..

They checked me about an hour later and boom!  I was at 9 cm, completely effaced and at 0 station!  We were all very surprised and I now made the nurses VERY nervous.  I actually over heard a nurse say I could sneeze the baby out right now and they made several calls to the doctor to get him in the room.   I was still pretty pessimistic… I mean, I pushed for over 2 hours to get Niko out.  I really didn’t think I was that close.

Dr. Hall (my OBGYN and one of the BEST doctors I have ever had) came in and told me not to do anything because he was pretty much crowning already.  A few minutes later of prepping, Dr. Hall told me to give a push and when I got to number 6 he told me to “Stop pushing!  He’s out!”

DH and I looked at each other in amazement!  No way!  I was mentally prepared for 2 hours of pushing, I really wasn’t ready for him to be here already.  At 7:13 p.m. we were joined by a tiny 6 lb, 7 oz baby boy.  What a blessing.

So, what’s his name?  Well... you know, we struggled for a name before he was born.   Having bi-racial kids can make naming a bit of a challenge.  Will they look like dad or mom?  

Our first son Niko looked like I adopted him until he was about 8 months.  Seriously, people came up to me and asked what country I adopted him from.  Uh… no.  Adoptions don’t come with stretch marks.

With our second son, we were kinda surprised because he didn’t really look much like his brother other than the black hair.  He actually looked more like my side of the family.   Sooo…. the Asian name we picked out didn’t really seem right.  (The exact opposite of what happened with Niko.)

Soo….. we went with the name DH picked for the first name and the more Asian name for his second.   After waiting until they pretty much kicked us out to name him, we finally came to a decision.   

Welcome aboard, Ryker Kaito!

So we are t-minus 7 weeks from the birth of our second bouncing baby boy and we are no closer to a name.  I know, I know…. What have you been doing this whole time?!?!?  

Procrastinating.  

Researching.

Proposing and denying.

We have a list, but it’s all over the board with no clear forerunner.   DH and I have different opinions as to what constitutes a good first name.  We agree on one thing, it has to be two syllables or shorter.  We have a pretty long last name that is easily slaughtered so it has to be simple as well.

Naming a human is a pretty big job in my book.  It’s something not to be taken lightly, or with a baby name iPhone app, which is something DH has taken it to mean.  Grrrr….  I know he’s struggling, but come on.  That thing just pulls the top 50 names from the Social Security Office for the past 10 years.

Besides, all of those names are out in my book.  I grew up being Kim M in my school since I was usually one of 3 Kims in the room.   This was also the case at several jobs throughout my life.  DH never had this problem; he has a bit of an older name so he never knew the pain of multiples in a class/job situation.  Of course, his retort is that he could never find his name on a key chain.  Poor baby….

We were all set for a girl name, but we are pretty lost for another boy’s name.  What I like about Niko’s name is that it’s semi-unique, yet simple and familiar.  His name is also both a European and Japanese name, reflecting both of our heritages.  I don’t know if lightening can strike twice!  Initially, we were going to give Niko more of a German name, but when he was born looking nothing like me, we went with Niko.

I do have a thing for waiting to finalize a name before we see him.  I just feel weird about brandishing a name on someone I haven’t met yet.  We are building our list, but it’s pretty slim.  

Sooooo……  do you guys have any suggestions?  :)  Seriously, we are totally open to ideas here.

Recently, a CDC funded research study in Denmark suggested that light (1-4 drinks a week) to even moderate (5-8 drinks) may not be tied to any developmental issues.

The research was done between 2003-2008 and included more than 1,600 5-year-olds in Denmark.  The study measured IQs, attention spans and decision-making of kids whose moms drank lightly while pregnant compared to kids of non-drinking moms.

To quote the researchers, “We found no significant association of low to moderate average weekly alcohol consumption, and any binge drinking, during early to mid pregnancy with the neurodevelopment of children at the age of 5 years."

Say what?  I have been going dry this whole time when I could have had a cold, frosty beer during the hot summer?  Well, maybe not for me.  I will be honest… I just have too much fear of what could be to indulge in a beer myself.  Although there have been a few moody evenings during this pregnancy I think DH would have poured me a drink…. I needed one.

If there were any developmental delays with baby #2, I would never be able to forgive myself if I had a drink or two while pregnant.  That’s not to say that I have been perfect.  I treasure my two cups of coffee a day.   I stay well within my caffeine limits, but it’s the only vice left to me as a pregnant lady.  I am very conscious of every bite, drink and activity I do while pregnant.  I have to… I’m an old lady doing a young girl’s job!

My mom has always said that when they found out they were pregnant with me, they had a party.  She also admits to smoking and lightly drinking when she was pregnant with all three of us.  It was the 70’s!  I’m lucky drinking beer and smoking cigarettes were the worst of it!  The fact is that everyone drank and smoked when they were pregnant back them.  There weren’t any major studies or public information campaigns about the dangers of drinking and smoking while pregnant when my parents were starting a family.

I have had several moms tell me that they snuck a glass of wine or two while pregnant just to take the edge off.  One of my friends said she had a glass of wine every night the last week of her pregnancy trying to kick-start labor.

My mom jokes that my generation over-analyzes and obsesses parenthood.   I would have to agree with some points of that statement.  Parenthood is a GIANT industry now with thousands of companied dedicated to helping ‘educate’ parents on how to raise successful kids.

Studies are studies in my book.  It’s like the never-ending cascade of reports about the controversial egg.  Sometimes eating an egg is a guaranteed gravestone, and then you hear it’s the only way to have a healthy life.

So what are your thoughts?  Drink or no drink during pregnancy?

I struggle with things in life.  I have always been taught to think for myself and not take things the way they are presented.  I apply this to all aspects of my life from my professional, personal and spiritual experiences.

As I sat waiting in my OBGYN’s waiting room, I was presented with one of my biggest spiritual struggles…. Why God does the things he does.  DH and I were in the waiting room for over an hour and you happen to see several different couples come through a doctor’s waiting room in that span.  We had been sitting for about 15 minutes when 2 young girls sat down behind us.  One was carrying a toddler and one was very pregnant… both of the girls were young.  I would say neither of them was over 20 if I were to guess.

About 10 minutes later a guy walked in with two of his friends to join the young girls.  After a few minutes he spoke loudly about her ‘getting off my back, I’m here already’ and ‘don’t talk to me like that, I’m a grown *ss man.’  

Obviously, this guy is a winner.  Thankfully for the rest of society, he has chosen to start his breeding career early.  Good thing too, because what these two young adults need right now is a small, expensive, helpless baby in their lives.  You know, something to bind them together for the next 18+ years.

(BTW, what are their friends doing for a living if the have time to hang out with them during school/work hours in the doctor’s office?)

I know, I know… perhaps this baby is the one thing that will turn their lives around… the hard way.  I can’t see into their future, but from what I saw for 30 minutes, they have a lot of growing up to do before they can hope to raise a kid of their own.

It’s stories like this that cause me to struggle with God’s plan sometimes.  I know so many couples/single friends that have tried and tried for kids for years and nothing.  They are in stable relationships and could provide a baby/child a loving home.  They have tried hormone therapy, insemination, adoption and prayer with no success.

(Warning!  Soapbox time:  I have never understood how a life in the system is better for a child than a loving home that happens to be with a gay couple or a single parent family.  Seriously?  So bouncing a kid around from house to house is better than a loving, stable home with a non-traditional family structure.  I will NEVER get that.  EVER.  I know people who grew up in the system and nightmares don’t begin to describe it.)

Anyone else struggle with this?  I guess my faith has ‘an opportunity to grow’ in this field, but I will never understand it.

Just a few words from me.  I asked DH to write my blog this week as his Mom's Day present to me.  I was kinda joking about it, kinda serious.  I must say, I have been blessed with a great man in my life that I call DH. 

I was very touched by his blog and although I joke about it often, I married my mom.  DH has many of the qualities my mom has which is why they get along so well.  It's kinda scary how well they get along really.  :)  As you will read below, we are opposites for sure, but we complete each other.  Here is his blog:

It’s time for my annual question from DH.  “So, what do you want for Mother’s Day?”

Honestly, I am terrible at telling people what I want for gifts.  I really have no real wants in life for physical things.  I have never been one for jewelry, clothes, or small appliances.  The things I want are big things and not really appropriate for a Mom’s Day present… I mean is it fair to ask for a new deck or a renovated downstairs bathroom?  Because that’s what I want….

So, I generally ask for things that you can’t buy at a store.  

Sundays are one of my most dreaded days of the week.  Sundays consist of laundry, grocery store shopping, cleaning out the fridge, cooking a giant meal, and yes… writing this blog on top of it all.  (I like writing my weekly blog, but I always put it off until Sunday late at night.)

I told DH that what I want for Mom’s Day is to have all of my chores done for me.  I want a week off laundry, I don’t want to go to the store, I don’t want to clean out the fridge, I don’t want to cook, I don’t want to coordinate what we are doing for Mom’s Day, and I want him to write my blog.

Hehehheheheh…. Now what I want and what is physically possible are two separate things in life as you know.  Unless I want to eat pistachio peanuts all week and have my kitchen burned down, some things I can’t dump off on DH’s shoulders.  Just like I can’t do all of his weekly chores on top of all my chores.  It takes both of us to make it work.

I would be happy with not doing laundry.   It seems that no matter what time I start laundry, I always finish at 9 p.m.  I am sure that if I were more diligent about keeping track of the clock, I would be better at this, but I am usually running errands all day so it’s hard to be there when the dinger goes off.

If I have my way, you will be reading my husband’s thoughts next Monday morning.  Yikes…. This could blow up in my face, but here we go!

Am I the only one that hates the “What do you want for ________” question?  I guess I just feel silly asking for things that I obviously have gotten along without all these years.  I have so much to be thankful for that it’s weird to ask for more.

It’s time for my annual question from DH.  “So, what do you want for Mother’s Day?”

Honestly, I am terrible at telling people what I want for gifts.  I really have no real wants in life for physical things.  I have never been one for jewelry, clothes, or small appliances.  The things I want are big things and not really appropriate for a Mom’s Day present… I mean is it fair to ask for a new deck or a renovated downstairs bathroom?  Because that’s what I want….

So, I generally ask for things that you can’t buy at a store. 

Sundays are one of my most dreaded days of the week.  Sundays consist of laundry, grocery store shopping, cleaning out the fridge, cooking a giant meal, and yes… writing this blog on top of it all.  (I like writing my weekly blog, but I always put it off until Sunday late at night.)

I told DH that what I want for Mom’s Day is to have all of my chores done for me.  I want a week off laundry, I don’t want to go to the store, I don’t want to clean out the fridge, I don’t want to cook, I don’t want to coordinate what we are doing for Mom’s Day, and I want him to write my blog.

Hehehheheheh…. Now what I want and what is physically possible are two separate things in life as you know.  Unless I want to eat pistachio peanuts all week and have my kitchen burned down, some things I can’t dump off on DH’s shoulders.  Just like I can’t do all of his weekly chores on top of all my chores.  It takes both of us to make it work.

I would be happy with not doing laundry.   It seems that no matter what time I start laundry, I always finish at 9 p.m.  I am sure that if I were more diligent about keeping track of the clock, I would be better at this, but I am usually running errands all day so it’s hard to be there when the dinger goes off.

If I have my way, you will be reading my husband’s thoughts next Monday morning.  Yikes…. This could blow up in my face, but here we go!

Am I the only one that hates the “What do you want for ________” question?  I guess I just feel silly asking for things that I obviously have gotten along without all these years.  I have so much to be thankful for that it’s weird to ask for more.

What?  Yes!  DH and I have finally gotten pregnant again.  I am very excited because it took us takes quite a bit of work to get pregnant this time around.  Full disclosure, it took us almost 3 years to get pregnant this time.

If I have learned anything along this journey, I learned that talking about pregnancy is a very weird subject to people.  I used to get asked all the time when we were going to give Niko a brother or sister.  After a few years, people stopped asking…. probably for many reasons, but most likely the look on my face when they asked.

In the beginning I used to hear people say, “Don’t worry about it, it will come.  After all, the fun is in the trying, right!”  This statement is true for the first couple of years….. then not so much.

The “fun part” turns into a scheduled task.  Instead of being romantic and organic, it becomes measured and calendared.  After another year, you start looking for options.  About 9 months ago, we asked our doctor what those options would look like for us.

Let me back up for a second.  I know that I am not the oldest gal out there to get pregnant, but given my family history, I was getting nervous.  You see every woman on my mom’s side of the family has had either ovarian or cervical cancer.  All of them.  My mom has 5 sisters and several aunts and they have all had it.  I am now 35 years old and my ovaries have lasted longer than my mom’s and the way it looks right now, they will out last my younger sister’s as well.  For me, it’s not a matter of if, but when I will have to have something done.

Soooo…. That puts my story into focus.  Back to our options, I was put on Clomid or as I affectionately call them – crazy pills.  Hormones do funny things to people and I am one of them.  I specifically remember crying over an email requesting a logo.  Let me get something straight, I only cry for one reason – someone died.  That was before the crazy pills.  I felt like that scene in Dumb and Dumber when they cried over the home insurance commercial.

After many months of riding the hormone rollercoaster, we finally lucked out.  I am now 16 weeks along and although I am considered “high risk” due to my age, we are moving along to schedule.

To be honest, we really didn’t know what to do if this didn’t work.  We don’t have the financial resources to do in vitro or adoption.  On the cheap side, both of these options are in the tens of thousands of dollars.  I wanted to at least say that I tried everything I could before calling it quits.

So far so good, but I’m not counting my chicks just yet.  The only reason I went public is that now that the weather is getting warm, I physically can’t hide it any more.  You really do pop out faster the second time around!

In a past life, I worked in the video game section of a major toy retailer.  In my 10+ years of experience, one thing never changed – kids always want to play the newest, coolest shoot-em-up game.  This includes your little darlings who will tell you anything to get the Easter Bunny to give them the newest block-buster Xbox game.

I have seen and heard it all.  From, “Oh, come on Mom!  I play that game all the time at Sam’s house!” “But Mooooom, I’m like the only kid in my class without it!”  “That game isn’t as bad as it looks – the people don’t even bleed that much!”  Then my personal favorite, when they put the game on Grandma & Grandpa’s list, which don’t know that game is off-limits.  Awesome!  We will see you after Christmas when you try to return and opened gift with no receipt.  Good luck with that!

I think one of my favorites was when the God of War series came out…. I played through that game and it was like a porn-snuff movie.  You gotta love a game that encourages you to have sex with the characters.  All good things for your 9-year-old to learn while he’s decapitating and spreading disease on the citizens of the world he’s conquering!

Or you could get them a war-style game that glorifies military violence and shows scenes depicting acts of terrorism and war crimes committed against civilians. (Including executions of kids and families.)  Now, these things unfortunately happen every day in the real world… but generally, it’s not something most people invite their kids to participate in via a Christmas present.

So how do you know that the game is just a regular first-person-shooter vs. a gory cuss-laden nightmare game?  Enter IMDB!  Yes!  The online movie rating game site now has a video game review section complete with a parent’s guide!   This is pretty cool and free way to find out why the game earned that M rating.  Just type in the game title in the search bar and off you go!

The forum is open concept much like Wikipedia, so several people contribute to the review.  The major topics covered are Sex & Nudity; Violence & Gore; Profanity; Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking and Frightening/Intense Scenes.  They really hit all the high points of what you would want to know before you buy a game for your kids.  

For instance, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 rated 0/10 for Sex & Nudity, 9/10 for Violence & Gore, 5/10 for Profanity, 3/10 for Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking and 6/10 for Frightening/Intense Scenes.  Sweet!  BTW, I sold BUCKETS of this game last year.  

Just a quick note – this resource only helps with in-game content, not online content.  Online content is going to be TONS worse than any in-game story has to offer.  I have been cussed out by many a 7-year-old online.

Good luck!

As many of you know… we have been trying to get Niko-chan into his big boy room for the past few months.  Every now and again we would ask if he would like to sleep in his new bed and for months we have been getting shot down.  

“No.  This is not Niko’s room.”  

“I want to sleep in Niko’s bed.”  

“That not my room!”

We asked again on Friday night and he said yes!  We were shocked but excited!  DH lay in bed with him until he fell asleep.  The first night went pretty well if I don’t say so myself!  It was a success, but I honestly thought this was just a fluke.  I figured he would try it out one night, but go back to his room the next night.

To my surprise, when we asked him again on Saturday night, he was excited to say, yes!  DH and I looked at each other in astonishment.  Wow… we are on to something here!  DH stayed with Niko until he fell asleep again and all seemed great… until we hear a crash about 2 a.m.  He rolled right off the bed onto the floor.  Well, I didn’t hear it; I can sleep through anything.  DH got up and calmed him down and got him back to bed.  

So… off to the store to buy bed rails we go.  (BTW, those things are NOT fun to put together.  At first I thought they were such pieces of crap for $50, but they did tighten up when you got them on the bed.)  I told him that they were wings for his bed so that he would not fall out.  He seemed excited by the fact that the wings were going to protect him.  Then he asked if his bed could fly with them.

I was at a birthday party after I bought the bed rails and someone asked me if we could have put the mattress on the floor so if he fell, it wouldn’t be such a long way to go.  Doh.  Yea… why didn’t I think of that.

Sigh.  Oh well, pain-in-the-butt bed wings are installed on Niko’s very high bed.  They should work out pretty well and I hope this three day big boy test become a permanent thing!

“When I think of close families, I think of yours,” DH said to me a couple of weeks ago.  This statement came out of nowhere for me.  Apparently, my DH thinks my dysfunctional family is something to behold.

This was surprising since my family jokes that it took moving to four different states to get along.  My sister lives in Tennessee, my brother in Texas, my folks in Illinois and we live in Missouri.  Although we live apart, we talk to each other at least once a week and we visit each other once a year.  For Easter, we visit my sister and in the summer, my brother and I visit my folks together in Chicago.  

I told Neil that my very determined mother forced our “closeness” upon us.  My mom grew up in a strained home environment and she swore that when she had a family, it was going to be different.  

Enter “Family Fun” nights.

When we were growing up, one of my mom’s traditions was “Family Fun” nights or as we used to call them “Forced Family Fun” nights.   My mom insisted that one night a week was reserved for family time doing different things together.  We would go to the zoo, the movies, museums, ball games, etc.  Attendance was mandatory.   We could occasionally invite friends to these events, but you were required to attend. 

 This was really fun when we were younger… but when I got to high school, this was a really weird event to try to explains to my friends.  My close friends knew better than to invite me to parties on Friday nights.  How did it affect your dating life you may ask?  Yea, I was fat in high school and a huge nerd so there was no schedule conflict there. My Friday nights were wide open.

I asked my friend Dr. Rikki Hays Clawson, DC, Doula, to write a blog for pregnant women about her point of view as both a doula and a chiropractor.  I have known her for over a year or so and was so excited to hear that she was a doula. She is a 2X mom herself and a big focus of her career has been to help women better prepare for the journey of pregnancy.  Here is her blog:

Pregnancy is one of the most exciting times in a woman’s life. Learning you are pregnant brings about all sorts of emotions, starting with elation and excitement… and then the planning starts and the worry. What kind of pregnancy will I have? What will labor be like? How am I supposed to know how to take care of this little person? All of these questions are valid, and normal! All of us get scared, but the key during pregnancy, labor, and birth is to prepare yourself by obtaining as much knowledge as you can and accessing reliable resources.

Niko-chan has a first love – a ratty-looking teddy bear named “Baby.”  They have been inseparable since Niko was 3-weeks-old.  Baby started out as a heartbeat/mother’s womb teddy bears strapped to Niko’s crib at night.  I will be honest, we were DESPERATE for sleep when we bought him; we were willing to try anything.  

I still remember walking into Niko’s room when he was about 6 months old seeing him try to rip the Baby off the crib so he could cuddle with him.  I unstrapped Baby from the edge of the crib and they have been together ever since.  We actually lost Baby once and I thought DH and I might actually die from Niko’s grief.  Baby dropped out of our car at an outlet mall and we were miles away when Niko started crying.  We turned around and some wonderful soul had found him and leaned him up against a tree.  I guess they figured the family of such a well-loved bear would be back.

Niko goes everywhere with Baby….  And that’s now the problem.

DH came up to me on Friday and said that he noticed that Niko was the only kid that had a ‘lovely’ in his class.  Niko is in the 3-4 year old class at school and there are now about 15 kids in the class.  Baby goes to school with him and hangs out in the cubby until naptime.  Baby accompanies Niko into the Land of Nod, then back into the cubby he goes until I pick him up from school.  When I grab Baby out of the cubby and reunite them, it’s like I gave him back the sun.

I will be honest…. I know that the Baby should bother me, but it doesn’t.  Maybe I am just trying to hold on to his babyhood just a few more minutes... or I just hate separating him from his best friend.  As I have written before, we don’t have a lot of friends with kids so when we go to events/parties, Baby is the only ‘kid’ for Niko to play with or talk to.  My solo campaign to get my friends to breed some friends for Niko has failed so far and I don’t think he will really have many friends until he reaches real school.

So… I am in a dilemma.  I probably need to start weaning him off his ‘lovely’ before he gets beaten up, but what do you replace that with?  I have heard solutions for blankets like making them into little swatches you pin on backpacks or put inside their pockets… but cutting up a stuffed animal seems a bit cruel.

What age must the ‘lovely’ be gone by…. and how did you actually swap it out? 

DH and I had and interesting week.  We had a parent-teacher conference at school on Thursday morning.  I thought the meeting was about the fact that eventually, they are going to have to hold Niko back a grade because his birthday is after the cut-off date of most schools.  I really didn’t think much about it.

We were completely caught off guard for the meeting we were walking into.  

Apparently, Niko cries at school.  A lot.  He cries so much that they think this will start affecting his schoolwork.   I guess he cries when he’s done with schoolwork or when he thinks he’s done something wrong.  

This baffles DH and I since he really doesn’t cry at home.  He will break out the frowny face when we reprimand him, but he really doesn’t cry.  For the past year or so, we haven’t had to spank him at all.  In fact, during the ‘terrible two’s’ I think we had to spank him twice.  He has never been the type of kid that needs a lot of reprimand.  A stern talk is all you really need to do for him.

During the meeting, I had mentioned that he has always been meticulous, almost to a fault.  He’s that kid that likes to put his toys back in the packaging and put it back on the shelf.  Niko also like to please people, he likes to show you that he can help you or do things on his own.

DH mentions that he might have a soft soul.  He doesn’t say it, but I know he worries that Niko has inherited his soft soul.  I have never thought of this as a bad thing…. in fact, it’s one of the features I love best about him.   My husband wears his heart on his sleeve and picks up on people’s emotions much better than I ever could.  

Niko is a weird combination of us both; he has my outgoing personality, but Neil’s soft soul.  We recognize where this could lead him… a lifetime of heartache.  He will open himself up to people and hopefully they won’t walk all over him.

After the meeting ended, DH and I thought about the meeting and what we talked about.  I honestly wonder if he is crying at the end of homework because they said that he finishes early most of the time…. I think he may be worried he did it wrong since he’s the only one finished.  He likes to be a “good boy” and I think he worries a lot about being bad.

So…. Does anyone else have this problem?  How do you deal with it?

I have had this thought a few times several times in the last few weeks.   The last two months have just been a real joy for us as parents.  I never thought I would say this, but age three has restored our hope for more kids!   I have heard that this age is called the “Trying Threes,” but in our experience, it’s been better than ever.

I think it’s a combination of things that makes us feel like this… the fact that we can converse better with him, he can actually tell us what’s wrong in his world and NO MORE DIAPERS!  (Well, during the day… we are still working on that at night thing…..)    I love it that his personality is really coming out.  

He tries to tell us jokes, but that is still a work in progress…I also love his detailed stories about Spiderman, Woody and Batman.  He likes it when we chase him and when we tickle him.  He can climb into his car seat by himself, dress himself, put his dishes in the sink… ahhhh…. the good life.

I know this time can’t last forever… soon, I won’t be able to lift him up and throw him on the couch anymore.  (He’s 38 pounds … my back aches after 10 minutes of it now!)   Later in life, he will want to hang out with his friends and not his lame parents.

There are many pros and cons to having kids at any age in life.  We had kids in the “new normal” age of our early-mid thirties.  I never wished to have kids this late in my life, but I am just glad that I was able to have them at all!  The pro for us is that we really appreciate our time with him; the con is that we are older and are not as “spry” as we used to be.

I know you can’t bottle time, so I guess I will have to take as many pictures and mental memories as I can!

Tragedy struck our house last week.  Our dishwasher stopped working…. it won’t power on or anything.  The conspiracy theorist in me thinks the dishwasher heard that we just got done paying off the washer and dryer and decided to stick it to us.  We have a repairman coming on Tuesday and I hope it’s something simple and cheap to fix….  HA!

I know this is going to sound trite, but wow.  Living without a dishwasher sucks.  I have actually never lived without a dishwasher… even in our crappy college apartment we had one.  In fact, we chose a dumpier apartment so we could get a unit with a dishwasher – priorities.

I honestly think dishes washed in a dishwasher are cleaner.  The just feel more sanitized than I can get them in a sink of soapy water.  Especially the sippy cups.  I just can’t get those things clean in the sink – I tried soaking the stoppers and they just don’t seem as clean.

I must say that having no dishwasher effects what dishes I am willing to cook.  Hello One Pot wonder….  I bought paper plates, but the hippy in me won’t use them.  I written/designed way too many articles/brochures about recycling and reusability to be able to use paper plates without a guilt trip.

A friend of mine has lived for years without a dishwasher and I still marvel at her patience with it.  It’s been almost a week and I’m about to go crazy.

How about you guys?  Is a dishwasher a must-have in your house?

For the last month or so, we have been working on Niko’s big boy room.  Don’t get excited here, there isn’t any conspiracy theory as to why we would need a big boy room.  Eventually he will move into the room we always envisioned him being in.  This room is bigger and has a much larger closet space than his current room.

We initially put him in the smaller room because it didn’t need so much work done on it.   When we moved in, there was enough chaos with packing and unpacking that the last thing I wanted was a nasty wallpaper project.  If there was anything the previous owner in my house seemed to love, it was wallpaper.  Ugh.  I can’t stand the stuff myself.  

To top it off, the wallpaper in Niko’s future big boy room was a horrible mustang border.  The first time I walked into the room I just kept spinning around, following the running mustangs... how can you sleep in a room like that?!?  Then we later found out that the mustang border hid an even WORSE 80’s paint swatch border.  Groan.    

I really can’t complain though… I bring this on myself.   Winter months are project months for me… I can’t stand being cooped up inside all winter so I usually wind up tearing up a room just to put it back together again.  Poor DH…. He usually gets roped into a home improvement project that he would rather not be doing.  This time he painted the room a shade of blue that I didn’t like so I re-taped the trim, primed and repainted the room again.  All of his work was for not.  He was not a happy camper.

We have the room painted (6 coats!), the curtains hung and the bed set ready to go.  We still have the crappy hodge-podge furniture until we can figure out what we want for the room.   Niko’s big boy bed is a hand-me-down bed from my parent’s house.  He will have a full sized bed… something I didn’t have until I was 22.   We need to get him a headboard and a couple of dressers.  Truth be told, he already has the best furniture in the house and it looks like that trend will continue.

So… my big question is how do you get a kid to move rooms?  

We had him help us paint his new room. (That was a big mistake btw if you really want to know.  There is a reason you don’t find too many 3-year-old professional painters.)  We had him help put up some of the new decorations, but as soon as its nighttime, he tells us he needs to go to his Totoro room.  (His room is decorated in a Totoro theme, a Japanese character.)  I have a few Totoros in his new room, but maybe I need to add a few more….

How did you get your kids to transition to the big boy/girl room?

“Mom, we are at Bikini Bottom,” Niko told me Saturday night.  Well, it’s close.  Not to rub it in, but we are in sunny Florida right now.  Ahhhhh….

We only really have one vacation a year and this is it.  My parents own a house in Florida and we spend one week a year with them in January.  I mean… if you are going to spend a week in Florida, wouldn’t you make it in January?

Hello.  My name is Kim and I have a cookbook problem. 

I own 76 cookbooks and I have only cooked recipes out of a handful of them. 

I am pathetic.

I have barred myself from bookstores because the lure of the discount cookbook section is too strong.  My favorite type of cookbook is Asian – surprise!  I am a Nakahodo after all….  Anyway, I probably have 40 Asian/Indian/Curry books and I love them all.  But the truth is that I have probably only cooked out of a few of them.  I’m a sucker for a beautifully photographed cookbook, even if it is very similar to one I may already have.

The rest of my collection is a mish-mash of Cajun, Mexican, American and diet cookbooks.  (That last one is from my “library of good intentions” section.)  I have my favorites that I cook one or two recipes out of, but the rest of the books I bought on a whim.   I occasionally look through them as if they were a coffee table books, but most of the time I just dust around them.

Sooo….  I have made a New Year’s Resolution.  I will cook one recipe out of every cookbook I own in 2012.   That’s 76 recipes in 52 weeks.   It doesn’t need to be a complex recipe or a main course meal; it can be an appetizer, sauce or dessert.  This should make the goal a bit more achievable.

If I don’t cook from a certain book by the end of the year, I will donate it.  I really need to start pairing down my giant collection into books I actually use….  so I can buy more books!

How about you guys?  Do you have a hoard of cookbooks that you never use?

Christmas has come and gone.   If you were to look at Niko’s presents you would probably scratch your head a bit.  There were the typical 3-year-old boy presents you would expect like Spiderman, Batman, Pokemon Toy Story and Thor.  

This year, Santa has learned that if you have superheroes, you must have bad guys.  Believe me, you NEED bad guys.  We have learned this the hard way – if you don’t have a bad guy for your superhero to fight, he turns his energy on the cats and/or furniture.  You see, Spiderman need a wrong to set right.

So this year, Santa brought the Green Goblin, Evil Emperor Zurg, Lotso, Doctor Octopus, the Joker, the Penguin and Catwoman.   I honestly never thought I needed so many villains in my house, but I was wrong.  I can’t tell you how many times I have seen Spiderman looking around my living room looking for something to do.  He’s looking for someone to rescue…. Looking for a bad guy to battle.

Spiderman now has a villain to fight instead of terrorizing the cats; he can fight the Green Goblin or the Joker.  The DC/Marvel lines don’t exist in our house.  Bad guys are bad guys – they don’t respect trademarking laws.

This actually opens up a much larger philosophical question… are superheroes still super if there are no bad guys to battle?  

What is Spiderman’s purpose without evil to fight?   Oh the humanity……

Ok… I am still figuring out this little boy thing.  I have a younger brother, but he was very sick the first several years of his life.  He was in and out of the hospital until he was about five years old.  I also have a younger sister, but she was the little girl my mom dreamed of, quiet, girly and empathetic.

I am not used to a healthy and energetic little man.  To call Niko-chan rambunctious would be an understatement.  

He’s not a bad kid by any means, but he has massive amounts of energy to burn.  His favorite way to expend that energy is to jump off anything that he can get climb on top of.  If it’s not jumping, it’s running around the house narrowly avoiding walls and furniture.  

Case in point… Sunday night.  My Sundays generally consist of laundry, food preparation and cooking for the week.  I spend most of the day in the kitchen and have a limited view into the living room.  DH had to work this weekend so I was on my own to try to tame the toddler and still get my chores done.  Easier said than done.

About 4 p.m. it started… crash, crash, crash.  This would be the sound of a 35-pound toddler crash-landing on a stuffed dog pillow on the living room floor.  “I thought I said no jumping,” I yelled from the kitchen.  Silence was my answer.  About 5 minutes later, I hear thudding again from the living room.  “HEY!  I said no jumping,” I said as I rounded the corner.

“I’m not jumping, I’m rolling around,” Niko said back to me with a grin.  Humph.  He got me there… a technicality.  He’s getting quicker at this all the time…..  I didn’t discipline him because I was honestly impressed!  “Ok, but don’t do it again,” I replied.  Then the laps started with Jessie and Woody.  Jessie led the race for the first lap, but Woody rallied back and wound up winning the championship.  Sigh.

I distracted him with fruit snacks and apples, but it never works for long.  Soon he is trying to kill himself again in more creative ways.  I know the problem is that he has a bad case of cabin fever and just can’t deal with being cooped up all day.  My only solution is to give him my phone and hopefully Angry Birds can help a sister out….

Is this what having little boys is normally like?  Are all boys this hell-bent on killing themselves by throwing themselves off the back of the couch?

It’s that time of year again…. I would love to tell you tales of how Christmas doesn’t center around presents, but I think we all know that’s a lie.  I know, I know, it’s about family and spending time together.  Opening presents.

Having worked in retail for years and years, I have met several shoppers.  The moms with precise excel spreadsheets, the grandparents with scribbled hand-written notes from their 5 year-old grandsons, the good-hearted Angel Tree shoppers, and the drunk dad/uncle/mom/aunt that comes in after the bars close, two days before Christmas.   Then there is my personal favorite…. the shopper who is just plain HATES that society forces them to shop for others in the first place.

When we were growing up, I remember shopping for my sister, brother, mom and dad. I loved the thrill of the hunt and the stress of trying to figure out what I could get them with my limited budget.  We are now older of course and Christmas gift giving has certainly changed… now all we do is swap Amazon gift cards.  

I must say… the Christmas magic is defiantly gone.

I am looking forward to this Christmas simply because I can’t wait to see Niko-chan open his presents.  Real presents.  With wrapping paper, bows, ribbons and all.   I’m excited because he won’t know what these presents hold… they were not pre-chosen on wish list.

Don’t get me wrong…. I LOVE YOU AMAZON.  I love my Amazon wish list, but it does take the magic out of the season.  

So is your family gift card traders like mine?  Do you guys just give cash?

I am not sure if anyone else is tracking this KC Star story or not, but wow.  What a tragic story.  I knew the story was coming out through my DH.  My DH does illustrations for The Star so I often see him working on projects at home.  I saw him working on Sunday’s front page illustration and initially thought it was a Christmas story.

“Not quite,” he told me.  “This story is a parent’s worst nightmare.  It makes me want to pull Niko out of school and keep him home forever.”

I looked at him weird until he told me what the story was about.  My face went from interest to horror.  I told him to stop because I couldn’t hear any more.  

I have heard news stories of abuse within the Diocese, but nothing that was so close to my community and so horribly destructive.  I have read most of the story to date, but it has taken me many starts and stops to get through it.

At first, I wanted to agree with DH and pull Niko out of any activity that would take him out of my sight.  But that isn’t practical.  I would just have to threaten anyone that takes care of Niko that I know how to use a bobcat and no one will ever find them.  They shouldn’t fear death…. they should fear me finding them first.

It seems like the headlines have been filled recently with terrible stories from abuse, bullying and suicide.  All of these stories have one thing in common – they all suffer from a lack of communication.  

Most of these headlines would not have reached max-capacity if the victims had communicated to someone about the situation they were in.  Much easier said than done.  

If DH and I have learned anything from these stories, we have learned that we need to start telling Niko that he can talk to us about anything.  There are no secrets from us – no matter what anyone else tells them.

I’ll be honest…. I am going to start scrubbing the web for a gameplan on how and when to talk to Niko about “good touch, bad touch,” but I figure we can start the no secrets message now.

Thoughts?

I have had Almitra Buzan contribute to my blog before.  I met her around two years ago at a regional function for emergency communicators and we have been friends ever since.  I saw this ad campaign from the City of Milwaukee and immediately thought of her since I know she is a co-sleeper. 

Here is her blog:

I have written before about the fact that Niko’s doctor thinks that we are on the slippery slope of Asthma, but it looks like we have hit an ice patch and are now full speed ahead on the Asthma luge.

Niko had an attack on Sunday night… it was pretty ugly.  After fighting with him to get the rescue inhaler on his face, he finally started to calm down and the medicine worked its magic.   We took him to the doctors on Monday morning and she looked at us and said what we already knew, this was Niko’s third “event” this year and fifth time we have had breathing issues in the last two years.  

I Facebooked about Niko’s attack and got an immediate call from my mom.  “So when are you getting rid of your cats?”  

“What are you talking about,” I asked her back.

“Are you going to get rid of them or what?  This is your son’s health after all,” she replied.

I have two cats as I have written before.  Tangent is very old and senile, being 17 years old and Matrix is a bit fat and he’s 9 years old.  If Niko were to be allergic to a cat, it would be Matrix.  My brother’s allergies are tripped by the Mr. Fatty – I think it’s his slick coat.  Tangent is so tiny that I don’t see how she could trigger anything.

“I’m not getting rid of my cats.  It’s not them,” I though to myself…. Then…..

On Thursday,  Niko’s school called and told me that he woke up from his nap gasping and crying.  They were able to get him calmed down, but they asked if he has had any other breathing problems.  So another call to the doctor’s office and we have a rescue inhaler at his school now too.  

(BTW, min-rant time.  Thanks to the CVS by my house for being no help in this situation.  I went to pick up Niko’s inhaler and I asked if I could get the breathing chamber for him as well since he’s only 3 and can’t do the inhaler without it.  The super-young cashier looked at me puzzled.  I mentioned that the pharmacist gave one to me last time.  He told me I would need a prescription for it.  Seriously?  A prescription for a plastic tube that looks like a bong?  I could probably get the stupid thing at 7th Heaven.  And you wonder why our healthcare system is broken…)

So on Friday I put the word out.  I need to get rid of Mr. Fatty, I just can’t risk it any more.  I love him, but this is my son we are talking about here.  If it comes down to it… we will cross the Tangent bridge if we need to.

As for right now…. Anyone looking for a 9-year-old jet-black cat?  He’s neutered, declawed and current on all of his shots.   :)

I never thought I would do it… but last week I turned in my two-week notice to my long-time second job.  As many of you know, I have worked for a retail store that specializes in toys for almost twelve years.  

I stayed with the company for much longer than I ever thought I would.  When I was first hired on, it was a great company to work for, but now, it’s just like any other retailer trying to hold on during the “new normal.”  It has always been my second job, but I must say that I have learned as much from this job as my primary job.

You learn a lot about customer service, stress management, marketing and social studies when you work a retail job… especially around Christmas.   You pretty much see the very worst in human nature this time of year….  angry parents, misleading ad jargon, too many customers and not enough sale items.  

I have said it many, many times… everyone should work in the service industry at least once in his or her life.  I think we would have a much kinder, more respectful society if they did.  I could go on and on about retail horror stories…  really, I could.  

After 12 years of working with a name badge on I have been called every name in the book and blamed for everything from earthquakes in Japan for the shortage of Gameboys to the fact that we just ran out of the last item their kid really wanted 3 days before Christmas.   Surprise!  200 of your best friends beat you to the toy!  Maybe you should have started your shopping a bit earlier when I had so many of that item I could have made a fort out of them.

Turning in my notice was very bitter sweet…  I am really going to miss working with my friends, but I also really wanted to spend more time with Niko-chan and my DH.  My new job requires more time and I was seeing less and less of my family on the weekends…. Something had to give and it was my retail job.  It really came down to a quality of life decision… I can make due without the extra money.  I can’t get this time back with my son and when I look back on my life, my family the most important thing I have.

I was all gloomy when I went into work this past weekend, but then I received a sign from above named Linda.  She was truly a NASTY customer.  Someone who was angry to have to buy presents for Christmas to begin with and she was going to make your day as bad as hers.   No matter what you said, it was wrong and she wanted to talk to THE MANAGER.  The BIG MANAGER.  Go ahead, I really don’t care…. they can tell you the same thing I am telling you now.  And they did.  

When I went to check out her purchase, she yelled at me for asking for her ID when she paid by credit card and told me I was just being difficult.  I told her that I have had my credit cards stolen before and that I have caught several thieves at my register by checking for their IDs.   She said I didn’t know what I was talking about and I just shrugged.  I asked if she wanted a gift receipt and she replied that if something were wrong she was going to come looking for me personally after Christmas.  I said to keep her receipt and someone could help her, but it wouldn’t be me.  She said she would find me, but I then chuckled and told her she could look for me, but I won’t be here, I just turned in my two-weeks notice.  

That caught her off guard for a second, and then she asked why I was quitting.  

I ALMOST told her the truth about the moment.  I ALMOST said I was quitting retail because I just couldn’t stand people like her anymore.

I guess I still have a bit of patience in me yet… I smiled and told her that I just didn’t have any Christmas left in me after all these years.  She grabbed her bags and left quickly.  The lady behind her in line asked me if all my customers were “as big of a __________ as that lady” today.

I laughed out loud at that, and then thanked her for restoring my faith in human kind.

I want to give a shout out to Linda for showing me that I made the right decision.  Remember to be nice to your retailer this Christmas season.  The majority of them work very hard under excruciating conditions for little pay.   Under that name badge is a human just like you…..

I have a love/hate relationship with Halloween candy.  I honestly never buy candy because I can’t have it around me.   

Oh, Almond Joy…. How you whisper to me.  So delicious and I can convince myself that it’s good for me.  It’s got fruit and nuts, right?  Dark chocolate is good for your heart too!  

Well… so I sit here a week after Halloween and Niko’s basket is calling to me.  I’m here…  Apparently, Niko can hear the candy talk to him too.  In fact, he’s driving us CRAZY asking for more candy.

I did the parent trick of letting him eat all the candy he wanted on Halloween night, but unfortunately for us, he didn’t get sick off of it.  He had a pretty epic haul of candy too….  

I have been rationing it to 4-5 pieces of candy a night, but at this rate, we will be eating candy for the next 2 months.  DH and I have been “helping” but I think we might be in the crazy house before he runs out of candy.

I guess we could throw it out, but that seems a waste.  I wouldn’t really care, but we are having a challenge trying to get him to eat real food…. He will literally eat a bite of dinner then beg for candy.  

This is the first Halloween that Niko-chan has it all figured out.  This “holiday” is sponsored by candy manufactures!!!

I ask the eternal question…. How do you get a picky toddler to eat real food when he knows there is candy?!?!??!

I received a pretty epic phone call last week.  The call started like any other call from my parents.  My mom handed the phone to my dad who just came out and said it.

“Hey kid, I just wanted you to know that I have prostate cancer.”

It’s Halloweenie time again and with the return of The Walking Dead and the endless Twilight merchandise, it makes me wonder… are you Team Vampire or Team Zombie?

I would have to say I am Team Zombie, always have been, always will be.  I am not easily swayed by the sparkly pretty boys I see on the big screen or the charming, bad boys with a good heart.   

I can honestly say that every home I have ever lived in I have figured out what do if the zombie-geddon were to strike.  What my exit strategy would be or where the best place to barricade myself/my family from the incoming swarm.  (Yes… every place I have ever worked too….)

I am a huge The Walking Dead fan and have met both Robert Kirkman (writer) and Tony Moore (artist) from the original comic book the AMC TV show is based off.  (No surprise here – I’m a giant comic geek.)  When I heard they were making one of my favorite comics into a TV show, I was a bit disheartened.  What I loved best was that I knew there would be no happy ending in the comic… this was a post-apocalyptic book with the best of them.

I felt a bit better when Kirkman said that the show would follow in the same vein as the book, no one was off limits and there would be no miracle happy ending.  What I love about The Walking Dead book is that the zombie infestation is just part of the picture.  The real focus of the story is how people react in a dire situation.  It’s a test of the character’s humanity.  Will the situation bring out the best or worst in that person?

Both Vampires and Zombies feature one thing… everlasting life.  But to quote the Queen song: Who wants to live forever?

So…. Are you Team Vampire or Team Zombie?   :)

Disclaimer: I don’t actually own any of those “butt firming” shoes.  But I won’t lie… if they weren’t SO ugly, I would have bought a pair.  

The promise of magic shoes giving me the same results as Kim Kardashian’s amazing genetics and hours and hours of working out in the gym with personal trainers?  Oh yea.  Sign me up.  Oh wait… they look like you are walking on taco-shaped soles… ew.

So why am I writing about this?  These shoes have been around forever!  Because I think it’s funny when companies get fined for $25 million for selling things to people who should know better.  In case you missed it, Reebok has agreed to pay $25 million to settle a Federal Trade Commission lawsuit that charges that the company’s “toning” shoes do not reshape customers’ bodies as advertised.

Really?  Your butt wasn’t reshaped by 28 percent like the commercial said?  Well, if you actually walked the 5 miles a day you are advised to, I bet they would have worked in time.  It’s amazing to me that people bought these ugly shoes and thought their usual 3,000 steps a day would transform them into a smaller version of themselves.

I must say that the fact that Reebok was sued over this is kinda silly.  I would hope that we are not losing so much common sense that these lawsuits are needed.  But what am I talking about!  People sue because their McDonald’s coffee was hot and they were not properly warned that the “Contents may be HOT!”  

Personally, I love reading labels because it’s like a history book on how that company has been sued by various people.  Like the fact that shampoo bottles tell you to rinse their product out of your hair before leaving the shower and that Windex should not be used to clean your contacts.

Sigh. I remember my mom and dad drilling me as a kid to think.  Think! Think!  Use your common sense, Kimmy!  If it’s too good to be true, then it is.  Oh well.  Gotta get back to pouring myself into some Spanx so I can look like I’m a size 6.  :)

Last week, I took Niko to his 3-year-old wellness check with his pediatrician.  All is well, he’s in good health and seems to be on track for development.  He got his flu shot and his lead poisoning finger prick (thanks Jackson County) and we were on our way to get his reward ice cream.

The only thing that was kind of a bump in the road was the whole milk drinking thing.  Niko has not been a fan of milk for the last 6 months.  I thought getting some chocolate milk would do the trick, but I would up drinking it myself.  He’s not a fan…..

Niko’s doctor was not pleased to hear that he didn’t like milk and that he hasn’t really been drinking it over the last few months.  It’s not like he’s not eating any milk-products… he eats cheese like crazy and gobbles down Gogurts fairly well.  I also give him a chewable multivitamin with added calcium to help round him out.

DH is lactose intolerant – in fact it’s very common for people with Asian decent to have some form of lactose intolerance.  Part of me wonders if Niko avoids milk because it upsets his stomach and he’s just to young to tell me.  

If you think about it… Western cultures are really one of the only cultures that drink milk after childhood.  If we were in Japan, the very question of “does Niko still drink milk” would never even come up.

But we are here in America and I need to figure out how to get my stingy toddler to get on the “Got Milk” campaign.  

So what’s a mom to do?  

I bought some strawberry milk this weekend and he drank about a tablespoon of it before telling me he “no like it, I want juice.”  Ugh.  Soooo… it looks like I have a half-gallon of strawberry and chocolate milk sitting in my fridge waiting for someone to love it (me.)

Any ideas to get a milk-hater to change his ways?

There are lots of new experiences for us now that Niko is in Preschool.  We now have a more structured schedule to follow, a dress code and homework.  I use the word homework very loosely here, but it exists all the same.

This is something that we are going to have to get our big girl and boy pants on because it’s only going to get tougher….  I guess we have had a good run of about ___ years without it.  I can’t say that I have missed it.

Right now our homework consists of drawing what you ate for dinner or learning Bible verses, but that will soon change.  We joked that I will have to handle the math tutoring and Neil will handle the spelling quizzes.  Both DH and I graduated from the art institute, so hardcore academics are not our thing…. we are more “thinking out of the box” kinda people.

I almost wish they had a “so your kids are going to need your help soon” boot camp class for parents.  We wouldn’t need it now of course, but I keep seeing myself on that game show that sees if you are smarter than a 5th grader and being laughed off stage because I couldn’t name the first 10 presidents.  I really on know the presidents on money… is that bad?

As I said before, I know I am fretting about something that isn’t really a big deal yet, but I guess I’m a wimp.  When I look into Niko’s backpack and see no homework I do a little happy dance… is that bad?

So when does it get really bad?  5th, 6th, 7th grade?

When I picked Niko up from school on Friday, his teacher told me that she put the annual fundraiser information in his backpack.  I told her thanks and moved on with the rest of my weekend.

I looked through the information on Sunday night and to be honest… fundraising in general for schools/activities makes me a bit grumpy.  

I hate asking people for anything, much less having to do it every single year until my kid graduates from school.

Honestly, I just want to know what is the lowest amount of money I can give them to get me out of doing/selling/begging my family/coworkers for.  What is the magic number to avoid asking people if they want giant no-name chocolate bars, overpriced cookie dough, crappy garbage bags or quarter-full bags of popcorn.

Seriously, I would rather you just tack it onto the daycare costs or (enter rants) raise my tax levy to cover the cost of whatever is underfunded.  I have never been a power raiser so their net profit off of my participation has to be under $50 a year.  

So… what’s a girl to do?  Well, I think I am going to take on some freelance work and just pay for the fundraiser myself.  Our school is doing a “thon” so we are not actually selling a physical product, which makes it even harder to shake down peeps for money.

I know I ranted before about it, but I have been shaken down for years for school fundraisers and can’t understand why….  It’s not a very sustainable fiscal plan, really.

Thoughts?  Who else is sick of being hounded for school fundraisers?

This past weekend we were at McDonald’s for Niko’s birthday party.   (Yes, I know – TWO celebrations?!?!?!?  Well, yes…. I can’t afford to bring all his friends to the Great Wolf Lodge with us so… McD’s here we come!)  By sheer coincidence, Ronald McDonald was scheduled for an in-store visit at the same time as Niko’s party.

SWEET!

All I could really think of was how awesome it was going to be to see Niko terrified by some poor employee forced to dress up like a clown.  I was corrected by a friend of mine who does quite a bit of volunteer work with the Ronald McDonald house.  

She told me that it wouldn’t be some regular employee who pulled an unlucky schedule, but a fully trained professional Ronald.  I had no idea you had to be properly trained to terrify small children and wear the golden arches!

Anyway, the professional Ronald appeared and I must say, it was a bit magical.  All of the adults were just as happy to see Ronald as their kids.  It transported us back to our youth…  I know that’s terrible.  I have linked some of my childhood memories to a successful marketing mascot.   Doh.

Ronald did magic tricks, signed autographs, posed for photos and played in the play place with the kids.  When Ronald hit the tubes, those kids when crazy.  I talking swarming-around-him-crazy.  We had remarked how awesome it would have been to be a kid at that moment.  Imagine playing in the jungle gym minding your own business, then turning around and seeing Ronald McDonald sliding down the slide.  Sweet.

When we got home, I posted some photos of us at McDonald’s with Ronald and a few people commented that Ronald might be going away soon.  Apparently, there are some Ronald haters in the house.  (I Googled this rumor and its sounds like an urban legend/internet story.)

Several groups are calling for McDonald’s to get rid of their mascot, Ronald because they think he encourages childhood obesity.  I have written before about childhood obesity, but this is kinda silly in my book.  I really don’t think kids are eating McDonald’s because of a clown mascot.  

Kids eat McDonalds for a few of these reasons:

1.    It’s delicious.
2.    It’s cheap.
3.    It’s convenient.
4.    Their PARENTS drive them there.
5.    Their PARENTS buy it for them!

Sure… marketing makes them want it, but it’s not like they can go to McDonald’s and get it.  Also, in all seriousness… all in moderation!!!  A hamburger every now and again is not the end of the world!!

So, what are your thoughts on Ronald?  Should he stay or should he go?

Three years ago this Labor Day weekend, we were blessed with a bouncing baby boy.  He did not come to us easily though….

I was induced the day after Labor Day after being two weeks over.  I was pretty miserable at that point.  I remember trying just about everything to go into labor.  Long walks, check. Working out, check.  Spicy food, check.  I bought caster oil, I opened the caster oil, but I just couldn’t get myself to drink it.

I remember going to Santa-Cali-Gon Days thinking, this would be a terrible place to go into labor… it was 100 degrees and I was surrounded by thousands of people eating fried food and coming in and out of the beer garden.  I grabbed a double-fist full of corn dogs and got my festival on.  I walked all over the Square and nothing.  Nothing.  So I went home and stared at the caster oil for a bit longer before I went to bed because we had to be at the hospital super early to be induced.

I will be honest.  Inducement sucks.  I can’t say I liked the process at all.  You are hooked up to multiple IVs, cords and pretty much bedridden for most of the process.  I was in labor for about 16 hours before we got to the pushing part.  That part took another 2 hours.  Niko’s head wasn’t lined up correctly.  

After the first hour, I was put on notice that we were getting into the “C-Section” zone.  As much as I was pushing, we should have been further along.  Something was not happening correctly.

I have and always will credit my wonderful doctor and doula for why I didn’t need a C-Section.  I was pretty bull-headed about NOT having one.   After some very unpleasant “readjusting” by my doctor and doula, Niko finally came out.  Whew.

Of course when he finally did come out, the doctor looked at me and said that I was further along than he thought and they should have induced a week earlier.  I could have told him that!  I was sooooo ready to be done being pregnant by that point!

I must say that I had a much better time with Niko three years later.  We celebrated his birthday at The Great Wolf Lodge with my parents.  Although it was SUPER expensive, it was also a great time.  I have to keep reminding myself that sometimes it’s worth spending the money on these kind of things.  Niko will only be 3 once, and my parents won’t always be able to go to waterparks with him.

Happy Birthday, Niko-chan! 

One thing I love about my job is that it allows me to meet really amazing people.  I met Sabrena Lea, Council Director for Girls on the Run serving Kansas City, MO through another amazing woman and my friend, Sheryl Morgan (who also serves as the President of Girls on the Run serving Kansas City, MO.)  I have written before that I am involved in the Let’s Move! Initiative as part of my job and one of the work groups I am part of is helping to coordinate their 5k run in November.  (For more info on Girls on the Run, click here!)

When I heard her amazing story about why she was passionate about Girls on the Run and becoming involved in the Let’s Move! Initiative, I asked her to share her inspiring story:

I am not sure if you guys have been keeping up with all the Plaza hub-bub going on lately, but if you haven’t, click here to read about it.

The Long-Story-Short version of this story is that the Country Club Plaza has a problem with unsupervised kids hanging around.  By unsupervised, I mean kids as young as 11 being dropped off to “hangout” at the Plaza while their parents go and do whatever.

Mayor James was quoted as saying, “We have a youth problem on the Plaza, but first and foremost we have a parent problem.”  I must say, I completely agree with Mayor James on this problem.  

Where the heck are the parents?  

I have mentioned many times that I have a retail alter ego and I see this problem MANY, MANY TIMES.  Retail stores are not babysitters.  We are not there to protect and entertain your child.  We are there to assist you if you need help with your retail purchase, not to be your babysitter.  We are not staffed/trained/designed to do that.  As I have mentioned, we have had kids in our store as young as 9 dropped off at our store for hours.  (BTW, if I even suspect that in our store, I call the police ASAP.  You are warned.)

So again I ask, where is the parental responsibility here?  

This question can answer almost every big-ticket youth problem we have today.  Failing schools?  Check.  Almost every single education report ever published tells us that there is a direct link between parental support and childhood test scores.  I know I struggled with school until I was in the 8th grade and my parents begged and bartered to get me the additional tutoring I needed until it all clicked for me.  It reminds me that I need to thank them again for their dedication and determination to keep me from falling behind in school.

I think back to when I was 13 and what I did.  Well, I had a “job” in the summer.  I was a Councilor in Training at my local YMCA.  (I wasn’t paid for this, but on the flip side I was able to attend camp for no cost.) Where I grew up, the YMCA was one of the only safe havens for kids my age.  I grew up in the East Aurora School District and if you watch ANY gang documentary about Chicago, they will talk about East Aurora and the Latin Kings who ruled the district.  The YMCA had a great standing in our community and the gangs knew it was considered “off-limits.”

I credit the YMCA to keeping many of the kids I hung out with out of gangs.  Our YMCA had a leadership program that many of my friends were in.  It was a constructive way to spend my summers and latch-key hours after school.  Both of my parents worked long hours so the Y became a second home to my sister, brother and I.  To stay in the program, you had to do so many hours of community service by teaching classes or giving back to the community.  Graduates of this program were offered college scholarships and participants were mentored by staff and volunteers.

Why do I bring this up?  I was only active in the YMCA because my parents enrolled me and encouraged me to get involved and give back to my community.  (Well, that and my mom threatened to kill me if she heard of me skipping out when I was supposed to be teaching a class.  She wasn’t kidding either…..)  I could have easily slipped into a gang.  I had lots of friend who went down that path and never found their way back.

The City has lots of youth programs that are similar to the YMCA I graduated from.  KC has youth advocacy programs, Night Hoops and Night Kicks; but to be honest, without parents becoming involved in their kid’s lives, I am not sure these programs will accomplish their goal of creating a safe haven for Kansas City youth.

The only real solution is for parents to take responsibility and get involved.

I’ll get off my soap box now and I’m sure I will have some… comments…. to this post.

When I checked my Facebook thread on Sunday morning I read the saddest FB update I have read in a while.  A friend of mine’s family dog was killed by a teenager who was texting while driving through their neighborhood earlier that morning.

The only “good” thing about this story is that “only the dog was killed” on Sunday morning.  It’s even hard for me to say this since it was a totally unnecessary thing to have happen in the first place.

I wonder what the text was that he/she just couldn’t wait to reply to.  I’m sure it was something important like, “where are U?” or “U hungry?”  I wonder if they were texting back, “Be there soon… on way.  Will be there after I kill a little boy’s best friend.”

My heart totally goes out to their family.  I really don’t know what I would do in her place.  How do you explain to your son that he lost his best friend thanks to someone who just couldn’t wait to reply to a text?

I must say, when my phone dings I am temped by it.  It’s hard to resist seeing what the message is.  Is it important?  Is it an emergency?  Who’s trying to get a hold of me? Is this someone answering one of my earlier texts?

I have grabbed my phone and looked to see what the text says.  Full disclosure here... I have texted back while waiting at a stoplight.  It’s tempting to think you can text and drive especially when you are really familiar with the street you are driving on.

The next time I hear my phone buzz, I will remember that little man who now has no furry friend to cuddle with at night and turn up the radio instead.

I have mentioned before that I am in two weddings this fall.  One wedding is for my brother and the other are two of our best friends marring each other.  I am so excited for both of them, but I will be honest; I am so glad that DH and I married before social media.  

Both of them are struggling with the same issue.  How do you narrow a guest list now that EVERYONE knows you are getting married?  Anyone you don’t invite will be able to see the party they were not invited to live-streaming thanks to Facebook.  

It isn’t the core group of friends/family that they are worried about… it’s the extended family, old coworkers and old classmates that you wouldn’t normally talk to or interact with on a normal basis that happen to live within driving distance of your wedding.

Anyone who has gotten married remembers the point when you stopped seeing guests and started seeing dollars.  I remember it.  For every RSVP I received I could almost hear the reception hall’s cash register ring.  Of course it doesn’t start like that…  first you plan your “perfect day” (which equates to months of nightmarish planning) then your or his extended family starts to hear about the wedding.  Then the extra invites you had hoped not to have to send out start going out….. with RSVPs back.

I know that the bigger picture is that weddings shouldn’t be such a big ordeal.  They should be about the couple getting married and celebrating their wonderful future life together.  But it isn’t.  

I remember going through it and really just looking forward to getting to my honeymoon.  I know that sounds terrible, but I found very little joy in planning my wedding.  I did have a beautiful wedding and looking back I had a great time at the wedding, but getting there was grueling.  I can’t even imagine how brides today do it with social media.

Any recent brides have any words of advice I can pass along to two brides-to-be needing some guidance?

American culture is sometimes weird to me, even thought my family has been here for generations and I was born and raised here.  What am I talking about?  American culture can be kinda…. weird about things.

One of my favorite children’s movies would have to be My Neighbor Totoro from Japan.  This movie comes out of Studio Ghibli which can be explained as the Walt Disney Animation company of Japan.  Honestly, I think I like Studio Ghibli better than I like most Disney movies though….

Anyway, I bring this up because the Totoro movie has a scene showing the father and his two daughters taking a bath together.  This movie is set in a time frame and location (rural Japan) family bathing was (and in many places in Japan still) the way it is.  When you had to warm the bath water without a water heater, it’s everyone in the pool for bath time.

I bring this up because we were watching this movie with a few friends of ours and this scene came up and they were kinda mortified.  I explained that this was a period movie and their culture was different and I think it helped… but it still struck me as weird that they would think it was weird.  Family bathing is not a new concept… in fact it’s only in the last few generations that we started bathing separately as a family.

I won’t lie, if I take a shower when Niko is awake I have about 2-4 minutes of solo shower time until that shower door opens and there’s a toddler ready to climb in with me.  I really don’t see anything wrong with it, but I know others think it’s weird to bathe with their children, like it’s wrong or something.

I remember bathing with my mom, not my dad, but this is the American culture thing coming in.  I have asked some people if they took baths with their kids and some have said yes… some just look at me weird.   

So I gotta ask…. Do you bathe with your kids?  If so… when did or do you stop age wise?

In case you haven’t noticed, there is a definite trend to my last few blogs.  I need to get off my duff and get moving.  

As part of my job, I am working with a great group of people involved in the Let’s Move! initiative.  I have attended several Let’s Move! summits and I must say… I sit in embarrassment.  

The Let’s Move! initiative is a program generated by First Lady Michelle Obama.  The initiative challenges communities to help solve the challenge of childhood obesity locally by bringing citizens together to enact common sense, innovative solutions that empower families and communities to make healthy decisions.  

My job is to help communicate ideas generated on how to fight childhood obesity during the summits.  All I really think about is how hypocritical it is for me to say anything!  

I am not huge, but I am not healthy either.  I frequently skip meals then gorge in hunger when I get home and I haven’t exercised since I was pregnant with Niko…. Three years ago.

If you don’t think this is an epidemic, you are sorely mistaken. Don’t believe me?  Check out this link to see where Missouri and Kansas rank on Obesity Rate…. Hint – it’s over 25% of us.  Even better, visit ANY community pool this summer and have a look around. We have been going to the pool every week and yea…. Not pretty. (Myself included.)

One thing I have vowed to do is start eating the same food I feed my son.  The food I feed him is better than what I feed myself.  I make him eat more fruits and vegetable than I eat – when he gets old enough to understand that, he is going to call me on it.

Another thing I have done is begin working out again.  I can really only spare about 45 minutes a day, but I have started to make myself a priority again.  I used to work through my lunch hour, but I have decided to take that back and off to the gym I go.  It’s only been a week, but I do feel better.

With health costs rising and the talk of businesses implementing a “sliding scale” of health care cost coverage (Higher rates for smokers or “obese” workers – yea, it’s coming – click here) – I need to do something proactive.  

What do you do to keep your family healthy?  I love new ideas……

I have multiple weddings this fall – it seems like 2011 is the year to get married!  I will be in two weddings that are less than a month apart.  Yikes for many reasons.  First and foremost, expensive!  One of the weddings is local so that helps, but one isn’t.  Ouch.

Second (and more important to my fragile ego) I will be in two WEDDING PHOTOS in less than 7 weeks!  ACK!!!

To be fair, I have known about these weddings for almost a year.  You would have thought I would have planned ahead and started my panicked weight loss regiment sooner.  Nope.  Unfortunately, I have always been a deadlines kinda girl.  I prioritize items by when they are due.  On Friday, Blah’s Bridal called and my bridesmaid dress had arrived.  Crap.

Are you sure it’s time for that to be in.  It’s when?  Are you sure it’s mid-July?  Not mid-June? Doh.

Alright.  I have 7 weeks before the first wedding and 15 pounds to loose.  Honestly… this is not a crazy goal is it?  Hopefully not because the dress is hanging in my closet!  If I don’t make the weight loss goal, the dress will fit, but I will be fatter than I want to be in the pictures.  Like when I wave my hand to the bride and groom it will be a double-luscious hand/arm fat wave.

My plan is to work out during my lunch hour and to do a half-hour workout video before I go to bed.  I also plan to seriously curb my eating habits.  No more going out to eat (or the occasional beer) for the next 7 weeks.  That should help considerably.

I have done the crazy 21-day cleanse before and to be honest… gross.  I don’t think I am that motivated right now.  I did it for my wedding and it sucked.  Drinking 6 clay-psylium husk drinks a day and only eating a few fruits and veggies for 21 days was hard.  Seriously.  If I wasn’t totally desperate to look good in my wedding dress I would have never done it.

Anyone else freaking out about any weddings in their future?  Ugh.

Ahhhh… summer.  I love the summer… but it does not love me back.  

Aside from the whole hating-to-be-in-a-swimsuit part of summer, this summer has been EXPENSIVE.  As I sit in my home office, it’s currently 85 degrees in my house. The thermostat is set to 76… not good.  

When we bought this house, we knew that the HVAC was old, but I will be honest… I had thought it would hold up longer than 2 years.  We have gotten a few quotes over the last few months, but they were so high that we were trying to squeeze one more tax return in before replacing the HVAC system.  Well…. Seems the house and I have had different timetables on when to replace the system.  The quotes we got back are higher than the value of BOTH of our cars.  Doh.  (BTW – anyone know of a good HVAC dude/company?)

On the way home from Target yesterday, my car revved up to 65 rpms then dropped to 0 rpms with a nice high-pitched VROOM noise.  As I continued my car ride home, it seemed that the car wouldn’t shift into 5th gear.  Sounds like a cheap repair!  Can’t wait to hear all about it on Tuesday morning.  We dropped off the car this weekend in the overnight lot at the repair shop.  Yay!

I woke up on Thursday with a nice rash on my forehead, forearm and torso.  It’s my old friend Poison Ivy!  I didn’t even touch it this year… apparently they are in “spore” season and if you are vulnerable to its powers, you can be infected without touching it.  Yay!  I would love any ideas you have on how to get rid of poison ivy rashes without having to go to the doctor, I am all rashes… I mean ears.

Should I go into how Niko-chan took a dump in the public pool last week?  How his baby swimmers could not hold up to the stress test of poop and splash pool?  Do we want to go there?  Oh summer, you are a cruel mistress.  We’re taking Niko-chan to the pool today… let’s see if the tongue-lashing I gave him about how he needs to tell me if he needs to poop BEFORE he poops makes a difference.  Let me tell you how much fun it is to tell the pool management team that your kid took a dump in the kiddie pool.  Then the clean up crew comes out in the HAZMAT uniforms and it’s everyone out of the pool!  Who wants another helping of shame?  Me!

How I love being “that mom!”

This is a tough blog to write.  A friend of mine’s sister is a carrier of a genetic disorder called Trisomy 18 also known as Edwards syndrome.  Trisomy 18 is a genetic disorder in which a person has a third copy of genetic material from chromosome 18, instead of the usual two copies.

Being a carrier of the disorder means you have a high chance of having a child with Trisomy 18.

The syndrome has a very low rate of survival, resulting from heart abnormalities, kidney malformations, and other internal organ disorders.  Fifty percent of infants with this condition do not survive beyond the first week of life.

My friend’s sister had two healthy and wonderful boys and they decided to go for another.   They knew the risks, but if her mother hadn’t tried, her and her sister wouldn’t be here right now.

At 20 weeks, they knew something was wrong.  The ultrasound showed a bowing of the spine and clinched fists, signs of Trisomy 18.  They had an amniocentesis that came back positive for Edwards syndrome.

After the diagnosis she and her husband are faced with deciding between terminating the pregnancy, or carrying the baby to term. It really is a decision that no parent should have to make.  It was a personal decision for them, one of the hardest decision she and her husband have ever had to make.

They decided to carry baby E to term, if he would survive it.  They made a promise to each other that there would be no surgeries for him.  They could tell by the sonograms that he was not developing correctly.  The surgeries would only prolong the inevitable and make his short life full of pain.  

Baby E was born over the weekend.  The family had a professional photographer there to capture his sure to be short life.   Baby E survived the birth and they were able to get some family portraits taken with him before leaving the hospital.

Here is where the story gets hard.

Baby E has stopped breathing several times and currently has a feeding tube.  The family has found that if Baby E looses skin-to-skin contact, he is more likely to stop breathing.  At first they weren’t going to do the feeding tube, but Baby E can’t eat and breath; he doesn’t have the strength to do both.

They have been sent home since Baby E’s fate is well known… he is not expected to last the week.  My friend’s sister is now battling with the game plan they made before Baby E was born and the natural instinct to keep their son alive.  They are worried they’re not doing the right thing.

Friends and family are telling her that it would be best for Baby E to fall asleep eternally, but she is staying up all night to make sure he keeps breathing.  I can’t even imagine the decision-making processes they are going through.  The best-laid plans change when you hold your child in your hands for the first time.  

I honestly can’t even think about it without tearing up.  It’s hard because several people in the family are chronicling Baby E’s life on various Web sites.  

I can’t imagine being in their position and having to make the decisions they are faced with.  I hugged Niko-chan a little tighter tonight before writing this blog.

Well, my die-hard droid finally bit the dust this weekend.  I loved my original droid… I dropped it, kicked it, lost it and this weekend, it finally succumbed to a heat-related death.  On Friday night the whole phone was extremely hot to the touch so I took out the battery, but not before the whole thing fried.  I took it into the store on Saturday afternoon and Dr. Verizon read it it’s rights.

So, I am now part of the cool-kid club.  I am the proud owner of a new iPhone and I must say, I am in love.  I tried to get my husband one as well for Father’s Day, but his contract isn’t even close to a new contract.  I called and begged for him… but no.  I love my man, but I refuse to pay retail for the iPhone… that is just craziness.

I tried not to play with it in front of him, but I couldn’t help it!  It’s just too cool!  I am a tech-nerd at heart and have longed for a new phone for quite a while…. Maybe I broke my phone subconsciously on purpose so I could justify it….  Hummm…..

I have had a smartphone for almost 2 years now and I can honestly say I could never go back.  I use my phone for everything.  I can’t tell you how many times I have used the maps feature on the way to a location I should have mapped out before the event.  Having mobile internet at anytime is amazing…. And having 24/7 access to kids shows on YouTube, priceless.

I must say that the only downside is that I now have trouble going “offline.”  This is something that I think a lot of people struggle with… I am at the park with Niko and my phone buzzes… so do I answer it or is it infringing on my quality time with my son.  Is it an emergency or is it junk mail to my gmail account?  Only one way to know… take a look.  I see parents all the time at the park buried in their mobile device instead of spending time with their kids playing.  I must say I REALLY struggle with this one.  It’s very tempting to see what’s going on in Facebook land while Niko is getting a drink or swinging on the swing.  I have made myself a promise to try to avoid doing that and to live in the moment.

But when Niko or DH are not around, I need app ideas!  What are your favorites?  Which are not worth the tempting 99 cent price.  (BTW, it can be SOOOOO easy to rack up some serious $$$ in apps!!!!)

I never thought I would actually say these words… and I haven’t yet, but I am close.  

I had what I can only guess to be a bit of a breakdown this week.  It’s my own fault, but I am really, really stretched too thin.  I have WAY too much on my plate and only me to do it all.  I am not complaining, as I mentioned I did it to myself, but wow.  

It’s not just work, although there is a LOT to do in the next two weeks, but I am also behind on some friend responsibilities.  This summer is seriously stacked and I am trying to catch up.

I have written about this before, but we are the only ones in our friend pool who have kids.  It’s really hard trying to explain why I can’t do a simple task as easily as I used to.   I feel like I keep using my son as a cop-out, but there are several things that you just can’t do anymore when you have an energetic 2-year-old.  Couple that with my husband’s late work schedule and my position’s responsibilities and you get a severely reduced productivity potential.

On Wednesday, I would say I hit my low.  I was seriously depressed about how much work I had to do in the next two weeks and the fact that I seemed to be letting my friends down.  I honestly felt like a total failure on all fronts.

After giving myself a pep-talk, I felt a bit better.  Still depressed, but I reminded myself that all I have to do is survive the next two weeks.  I can do it.  No one said it was going to be easy trying to have it all.  Everyone is trying to do more with less, but my seams are starting to show.

What complicates things is that I feel very guilty about not spending more time with Niko as it is.  I really only get one full day with him a week this time of year.  Niko spends Saturdays with his Abuelos (I usually work Saturdays as well) so Sundays are really my only full day with him.  It’s very hard to explain that to someone without kids.  I know that the days of him wanting to hang out with me are fleeting so I want as many days as I can get.

So on to the second week of my two-week hell schedule.  Hopefully this one will be better than the last…. But I just looked at my work calendar and no.  It’s prepping to be worse and I will be one more week behind on friend tasks with double the stress.  Sigh.

It seems that for the last few weeks, we have gotten a preview of the “Trying Threes.”  I must say… the last two weeks have been particularly challenging.

No.

No.

No.

I have heard this word about a thousand times recently.  It seems that no matter what I propose doing, all he tells me is no.  Going to the store? No. Eating dinner? No. Putting on “big boy undies?”  No.

I know he is testing his boundaries, but it’s really testing my patience.  He has also gotten this idea that when he is mad it’s OK to throw his toys on the ground or hit himself.  

Yes. I said hit himself.  I had a chat with his teacher about it since she doesn’t know what to do about it as school.  I joked that I was kinda glad he does it there as well so they don’t think if he has bruises that I did it to him!  She laughed and said no since they have a self-biter there as well.

To top it off, Niko peed on himself on purpose yesterday afternoon.  He is pretty much potty trained at home and knows better.  I had just gotten on him about kicking his toys so he decided to pee on himself while he was in time-out.  He made it a point to show me what he had done and smiled proudly about it.  I asked him if he did that on purpose and he nodded yes.  I asked if he did that because he was mad at me and he said yes.  So, he got a spanking over it and I made him help me clean it up.

I have been reading a lot of books lately because I really am at a loss for what to do.  I am half way through Dr. James Dobson’s Dare to Discipline and I will read his book, The Strong Willed Child next.  

The Dare to Discipline book so far has helped me sort through what to discipline and what not to worry so much about.  I will be honest… I have a hard time trying to figure out what to disciple and what to ignore or try to refocus attention on.  Does that make sense?  What is worthy of a swat, time-out or just ignore.

The book focuses on disciplining defiance, not mistakes.  It really did help clarify this for me.  Was that action in defiance of my authority or just did he do that because he didn’t know better?  He stresses that when you discipline, it must be immediate and you explain why you are doing it then tell them that you love them, but not their actions.

I know I can’t be the only parent at a loss for how to handle the defiant 2-3 year-old.  Help!  How did/do you handle this age??

Over the past few weeks, my blogs have focused on disaster preparedness and civic engagement.  These two things are my work passions, but sometimes a girl just wants to have fun.

A little know fact about DH, he LOVES The Golden Girls.  Some nights it’s like our house is hosting a 24/7 Golden Girls marathon.

The Golden Girls originally aired from 1985-1992, but still lives on in syndication.  In fact three major networks air The Golden Girls episodes including Hallmark, Lifetime and WE.

This smash-hit comedy for NBC featured four mature women living together and beginning their “second lives” together in Miami. Book-smart divorcee Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur), sultry Southern belle Blanche Deveraux (Rue McClanahan), sweet, simple-minded St. Olafian Rose Nylund (Betty White), and Dorothy's quick-witted mother Sophia (Estelle Getty), who was banned from Shady Pines Retirement Home.

What amazes me is how relevant the show still is to our modern culture.  

Aside from the obvious plotlines of “mature girl empowerment,” the show tackled bigger issues like gay marriage equality, age discrimination in the work place, retirement fund failures and insurance/Medicare funding issues.   

As we were watching The Golden Girls marathon this weekend, they replayed the episode where Blanche’s brother Clayton invited her to his wedding… to his boyfriend Doug. Blanche has a hard time accepting his marriage, but Sofia (in her infinite wisdom) asks, "That's what [gay couples] want too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with, and shouldn't everyone have that chance?"

What I love about the series is that the shows producers and writers never shied away from the tough topics.  They girls faced age discrimination, sexual harassment, pension plan defunding, children, ex-husbands, HIV infection, illegal students in our educational system and elderly abuse.  

These are issues that woman can still identify with today.  To be honest, little has changed on these topics in over 20 years.  Of course, the problems they faced were wrapped up in 30 minutes and fixed by the power of friendship, but I applaud them for talking about it.

What’s your favorite GG episode?  :)

Not sure if you are aware of this, but the KC metro recently received some bad news.  We found out this week that Kansas City was cut out of the Department of Homeland Security’s Urban Areas Security Initiative (UASI) grant program.  The Kansas City metro has been receiving funds since 2003 to better prepare our area in the event of a disaster.  This Homeland Security funding is a result of the September 11, 2001 attacks.

The grant funding is coordinated by the Mid-America Regional Council’s Homeland Security Coordinating Committee. Disclaimer time, I am a member of this committee.  The funds benefit the entire metro as they help fund personnel, equipment and training for all the Cities in the UASI funding area.  (If you live in KC or a suburb of KC – this means your city has benefited from this funding.)

I don’t know when it happened, but now Niko’s action figures shoot guns.  I didn’t think Spiderman uses guns, but there he is… shooting away.

It’s weird… we don’t really watch any TV shows with guns while he is awake.  All we watch when he is around is Food Network and HGTV.  If he were being influenced by anything he was watching with us, he would be 5,000 pounds and telling me that our house has no curb appeal.

Perhaps he learned it at daycare?  It has to be between daycare and/or playing with some of the older kids in our friend pool.  Either way, all we hear is “pew, pew, pew.”

Maybe it’s natural… like how my dog never saw a gun in her life, but if you pointed something that looked like it at her, she would cower.

I must say – I am not a happy camper about it.  I’m not against guns, but not too thrilled that my two-year-old son knows what they are.  

I do own a gun, for home protection.  I went to gun safety classes shortly after I got ole’ Bessy.  I own a long gun and I keep it out of reach, out of sight, locked and the ammunition is stored separately.   (Make no mind about it, if I heard my door kicked in, I can have it loaded and ready in seconds.)

So what’s a girl to do?  For right now I am trying the ignoring/distraction tactic.  I know that making a big deal about it will push the subject.  So for right now, when Spiderman starts shooting at the Lego men, I start up a new movie or offer some fruit.  This is not a good long-term game plan though.

When I talked to other boy mammas they all say the same thing.  Yup.  Their boys love guns (or shooting noises) and that they have no idea where they picked it up either.

Are your kids like that?  Any tips/tricks? 

It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years since we lost Sammy.  

Sammy was going to be the best man at our wedding, but he was killed in a single-car accident on I-35 over five years ago.  He was driving to work when his car’s tie rod broke and his car skidded off the road and jackknifed into a ditch.  Sammy was ejected from the car and killed instantly.

Sammy left his wife and one-year-old daughter behind.  They were trying for baby number two before he left.

When this happened, it changed our world.  It was the first time one of our close friends was taken from us suddenly.  It was also the first time we saw what happens to a young family that doesn’t have adequate life insurance for the long-term.  (I know it’s a pain, but SEROUSLY, you NEED more life insurance than you think.  The base insurance you get from your employer evaporates in the first few months.)

Fast forward to today.  

Sammy’s widow and daughter are doing well.   She is getting an advanced degree and his daughter is flourishing in school.   I must say, she is an amazing woman.  I know that she had no other choice but to be strong for her daughter, but the grace and serenity she has had since Sammy’s passing is amazing.  I don’t think I would have been as strong.

We spent this past weekend with them and it was so great to catch up.  Her life is so busy with school, work and mommyhood that it’s hard to see them very much.  She graduates next year so we hope to be able to hangout with them more often.

Why am I telling this story?  She’s one of the most amazing Mother’s Day stories around. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years since we lost Sammy.  

Sammy was going to be the best man at our wedding, but he was killed in a single-car accident on I-35 over five years ago.  He was driving to work when his car’s tie rod broke and his car skidded off the road and jackknifed into a ditch.  Sammy was ejected from the car and killed instantly.

Sammy left his wife and one-year-old daughter behind.  They were trying for baby number two before he left.

When this happened, it changed our world.  It was the first time one of our close friends was taken from us suddenly.  It was also the first time we saw what happens to a young family that doesn’t have adequate life insurance for the long-term.  (I know it’s a pain, but SEROUSLY, you NEED more life insurance than you think.  The base insurance you get from your employer evaporates in the first few months.)

Fast forward today.  

Sammy’s widow and daughter are doing well.   She is getting an advanced degree and his daughter is flourishing in school.   I must say, she is an amazing woman.  I know that she had no other choice but to be strong for her daughter, but the grace and serenity she has had since Sammy’s passing is amazing.  I don’t think I would have been as strong.

We spent this past weekend with them and it was so great to catch up.  Her life is so busy with school, work and mommyhood that it’s hard to see them very much.  She graduates next year so we hope to be able to hangout with them more often.

Why am I telling this story?  She’s one of the most amazing Mother’s Day stories around. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years since we lost Sammy.  

Sammy was going to be the best man at our wedding, but he was killed in a single-car accident on I-35 over five years ago.  He was driving to work when his car’s tie rod broke and his car skidded off the road and jackknifed into a ditch.  Sammy was ejected from the car and killed instantly.

Sammy left his wife and one-year-old daughter behind.  They were trying for baby number two before he left.

When this happened, it changed our world.  It was the first time one of our close friends was taken from us suddenly.  It was also the first time we saw what happens to a young family that doesn’t have adequate life insurance for the long-term.  (I know it’s a pain, but SEROUSLY, you NEED more life insurance than you think.  The base insurance you get from your employer evaporates in the first few months.)

Fast forward today.  

Sammy’s widow and daughter are doing well.   She is getting an advanced degree and his daughter is flourishing in school.   I must say, she is an amazing woman.  I know that she had no other choice but to be strong for her daughter, but the grace and serenity she has had since Sammy’s passing is amazing.  I don’t think I would have been as strong.

We spent this past weekend with them and it was so great to catch up.  Her life is so busy with school, work and mommyhood that it’s hard to see them very much.  She graduates next year so we hope to be able to hangout with them more often.

Why am I telling this story?  She’s one of the most amazing Mother’s Day stories around. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Becoming a parent for me has been a steep learning curve.  I have adjusted to most of the aspects of our new life but there is still one part that eludes me…. other parents.

I love kids; I have been around kids my whole life.  My second job is working for a store that only exists to bring joy to children.  I love kids for one pure reason… they are as brutally honest as you can get.  If you want to know the truth about anything, ask a kid, they won’t pull any punches.

I would love to say the same about that kid’s parents.

I know that everyone thinks their kid is the smartest, fastest, strongest, coolest, most athletic, prettiest and above all…. more advanced than the average kid.  

I have spent the last 3 years of my new life extending my “bs meter” and learning how to sit and listen to other parents gush about their darlings.  More importantly, I have learned to shut my big mouth and listen with a smile.

I was given another opportunity to strengthen my new skills again this weekend.  I listened as an old acquaintance told me how is children were genius and destined for advanced classes.... they are 2 ½ and 13 months.  Amazing.

My son is 2 ½ and still pooping in his pants.  On a good day I can understand him with his thick accent of “whininess.”   I'm thrilled when he remembers to say please and thank you for things.  (We have been working a lot on manners lately.)

I have written before about this… but it just drives me nuts!  I know that it’s just going to get worse the older Niko gets and the more involved in school we become.

I guess my big questions is… how do I deal better with it? I guess I am just too grounded in reality.  They tell me their kids are geniuses, but all I see is that they have boogery noses or that they just ate the crayon they were coloring with.  Perhaps I am just cynical?  Am I an evil person?  Am I jealous?  I’m sure that’s it….

How do you do it?  Any good strategies out there other than just spacing out as they go on and on about how awesome their kids are?

I have mentioned this before, but my closest family member is 500 miles away.  This fact is evident on any holiday.  We just got home from spending time with my sister’s family in Clarksville, TN.  

We have spent 16 of the past 72 hours driving and the remaining 56 hours eating candy.  (Kidding… we did pause to sleep.)

The weather was terrible, but the company was blissful.  I loved seeing Niko play with his cousins all weekend.  

When I look at Niko I feel a sense of déjà vu.  I didn’t grow up with a lot of family around.  I have TONS of cousins … that I visited once a year growing up.  I’m always envious when I visit them… they have such a closeness I could only wish for.

I grew up being close to my paternal grandmother and aunt.  I spent many weekends over at their house hanging out watching Hee Haw.  Yes… Hee Haw and the Brady Bunch.  She lived out in the sticks and that’s all that her antenna would pick up.   On a good day she got 5 channels, but most of the time it was only 3.  I remember the Christmas she got a VCR… it was the greatest thing ever.

Anyway – now, it seems that Niko will be echoing my life.  Well, not the Hee Haw reruns, but all he has locally is his paternal grandparents and one aunt.  Very familiar.  So are the once-a-year trips to visit the cousins.

I will be honest.  This is NOT what I had hoped for my children.  It’s depressing when I think about it.

I was feeling a bit down when we pulled into the house this evening… then I opened the door and saw that the “Easter Bunny” visited our house while we were away.  Niko’s “Aunts and Uncles” came over to the house and used their spare key to let in the bunny rabbit to hide some eggs for Niko-chan.

He was SO excited to see the eggs.  I was so amazed that they would think to do that for him. 

I must say… nothing makes me feel like a bigger failure as a parent then sitting in the pediatrician’s office.

This Sunday, I sat in the examination room hearing how sick my little man was…. Again.  He had a 101.5 temperature and double ear infections with an irritated throat.

I sat there in my cartoon t-shirt and my pigtails trying to explain myself.  Seriously… I was just as surprised as she was that he was that ill.  He totally didn’t act it!  He was running around and playing with the cats, like he does most Sundays. 

The only reason I took him to the doctor’s was that he told me his ear hurt.  He said it very matter-of-fact though… no whiney/painful/tearful tone.  I took him to the Sunday urgent care at our pediatrician’s office because these things only get nastier at night.

Usually when he’s sick he lays facedown on the floor and whimpers so I didn’t think he was all that sick.  Of course now I know he was sick….

By the time we left the doctor’s office I felt both inadequate and angry. 

Part of me wonders how can I still be so bad at diagnosing my son and part of me is a bit miffed that I was made to feel inferior for misdiagnosing him… again.  You would think that after 2 ½ years of being around him I could figure out when he was just cranky and when he was sick.

I must say, I have never been one of those people that takes health care lightly.  I worked for various hospitals around Chicago during my summer breaks from college.  I would love to say I didn’t see waste, but I did.  A LOT of waste…. anyone who works in healthcare can tell you stories of people running up costs on tests and procedures that were unnecessary. 

I never wish to be one of those people so I am a bit hesitant to got to the doctor for a sniffle or scrape.  So I wonder if I am taking it too far?  But seriously… Niko-chan’s health seems to change so quickly!

So… when do you figure this crap out?!?!? 

I know I can’t be the only one out there who has brought a child into the doctor thinking it was trivial and find out that it’s really pretty bad……

We are experiencing something new lately.  Bloody Noses.

Last week, Niko’s daycare told me that he had a random bloody nose.  That was a bit surprising because he has never had one before.  I told myself not to panic because he may have been bonked in the nose on the playground and chalked it up to that.  I have a glass nose so I figured he had inherited daddy’s nose shape, but my fragileness.

Honestly, the incident had almost completely fallen off my plate, when it happened AGAIN this weekend.  This time I was there for it.

Niko and I went to Penguin Park on Sunday.  First and foremost, I am going to brag on the City of Kansas City for a moment… this is one of the BEST parks in KC for small kids.    Seriously, if you have never taken your kids to this park, GO NOW!  This park has tons of playground equipment for kids at various age groups.  They just resurfaced the playground area (it was in dire need of a bit of loving) and they installed some new equipment.  Be prepared for TONS of kids… it has to be one of the most used parks in the metro.

I have the honor of living close to the park so we walked.  This was no small task since I live about a mile and a quarter from the park.  I can’t really complain about being fat if I drive to a park that is so close….  So I loaded Niko up in the push car and off we went.

(BTW, as we were walking I noticed that several houses along the way had those giant playgrounds in their backyard??!?!  Why would you put one of those in when you live SO close to one of the best parks in the metro?)

ANYWAY!  About 30 minutes into our play trip, it happened.  I was helping Niko climb the ladder to get to the top of the elephant slide and he turned to smile at me …. with blood all over his face.

FREAK OUT.

I panicked.  It’s super scary to see your kid full of blood for no reason at all.  I felt totally helpless.  I scooped him up and ran to the push car for some wipes and water to clean off his face.  He was mad, of course, because he had no idea why we had to stop playing.

A kind woman who said she was a nurse came up to me and told me not to worry, that maybe he bonked his nose.  I know he didn’t though, because I was with him the whole time he was there.  

We left the park immediately for the “long” walk home.  It felt a lot longer that it was due to the panicked state I was in.  But the walk helped to calm my nerves.

After the initial shock, I realized he wasn’t limp and he was acting fine.  In fact, if it wasn’t for me freaking out, he wouldn’t have noticed anything was wrong.

So, now it’s Monday morning and I am waiting on a call back from the doctor’s office.

Anyone else have experience with a case of the mysterious bloody nose?

I will be honest… I am VERY close.   

I cut my home phone cord over 3 years ago and never looked back.  At first I was worried that I would miss my home phone, but I didn’t.  I especially don’t miss the constant solicitor phone calls.

We are on the verge of a new day of media consumption and it’s a day I have been looking forward to.  Soon, I believe we will be able to directly subscribe to the channels we want to watch.  Our cable provider won’t be chosen for us by some turf war that happened long before our houses were built.

I used to live in Comcast’s neighborhood moons ago.  I will be honest… I HATED IT.  When I started looking for a new house, I specifically avoided Comcast neighborhoods.  Sorry if you are a Comcast lover, but I found their service expensive in cost and lacking in choice.

I have been a semi-content Time Warner Cable customer for over 10 years.  Aside from being nickel and dimed to death for cable boxes and forced into “packages,” I have been pretty happy.

Currently, my heart belongs to Netflix and Hulu.  Why do you say?  They are cheap and flexible.  I can watch them on my computer, iPod and any TV in the house.  Instead of having a box that I have to rent every month on every TV in the house to get all the channels, I use my gaming systems that are already in the room.  Ahhhh… I like not being nickel and dimed to death.

I know, I know.  The shows on Netflix are older and it takes a while for new movies to become streaming, but hey.  I’ve got time.  I wasn’t able to run out and see the movie in the theater; I am perfectly fine waiting another 28 days after its DVD release.

I am getting a Roku box this week for Niko’s TV and I wonder if it will mark the end of an era for my cable box.  The Roku box is wireless so I can put Niko’s TV anywhere instead of having to put it near a cable hookup.  Bonus.  Access to Netflix's vast library of kids movies at the push of a button?  Excellent.

To be honest, if it weren’t for football, I would have cut that cable cord already.  (Hear that NFL?  You need to get your house in order because I know I’m not the only football-only cable cord keeper!)

How about you guys?  I am always looking for a service bill I can cut… I have had my eye on our cable bill for years….

BTW - VOTE TOMORROW!!!!!

Yea.  I said it.  

And at the time, I meant it.

Last weekend we went to my hometown, Chicago.  Niko-chan LOVES my mom (Do-Da as he calls her) so we try to visit as much as we can… considering it’s an 8-hour drive.

Chicago is full of great museums and one of the best for kids is the Museum of Science + Industry.  The museum is a very tactile and interactive, much more enjoyable for young kids than a traditional museum.

I would love to say that the Museum trip was a wonderful, relaxing visit that I will cherish for all time.   I would have LOVED to have been able to say that… but no.  It was VERY stressful as Niko ran from one display to another, trying to kill himself.

He’s at that age where he can run incredibly fast with no regard to his surroundings.   He showed us how good he was at it several times throughout the day.  Then for lunch we had a total meltdown over an apple and the fact you can’t take it out of the food court.

My parents were having a great time watching us trying to shepherd Niko throughout the museum.  I heard several times that we kids were the same way and they loved seeing us scramble.

In a huge mistake, we decided to enter the Gift Shop.  

The Gift Shop is filled with the normal gift shop stuff, which includes large vats of polished rocks and racks of squeeze toys.  Then there are the shelves of expensive, breakable statutes….  Trying to navigate around those is a bit rough.

I was talking with my niece and I look over and there is Niko… with his paws full of cheap-trinket necklaces.  By cheap, I mean the quality, not the price.  I would have to estimate he had about $200 worth of nickel-plated, crystal necklaces in his hands.

“Let go NOW!” I said sternly to him.

“Noooooooo,” Niko said in a loud, whiney voice.

“I said LET GO,” I told him as I tried to grab the necklaces out of his hands.

“NOOOOOOOOO.”

That’s when I said it.  Louder than I though.

“Let go of those before I beat you!”

I did mean to say it, but not that loud.  And I wasn’t really going to beat him, but I was prepping to spank him.  It’s amazing how quiet a large gift shop can get when someone looses it.

Its great looking around and seeing a bunch of people judge you after a long, long day.  Hello woman with an $800 stroller.  I’m sure you’re glad a barbarian like me isn’t raising your child.

Where is my husband you ask?  I LOVE my husband, but I have never met someone who has to go to the bathroom so much in my life.  

So, have you done this?  PLEASE…. Tell me I am not the only one who has lost it in public!

I met Almitra Buzan about a year ago at a regional function for emergency communicators.  She was pregnant with her first son Will at the time and we quickly became friends.  She is a remarkable woman and a brilliant communicator for the Red Cross.  I asked her to write a guest blog to talk about her decision to leave her job for a higher calling.

Almitra writes:

I have written about this before, but because my personal family has been hit by the disasters in both Louisiana and Japan, I feel the need to write about it again.  (We have heard from most of DH’s family in Japan and all is well.  They are on a brown-out schedule and have no water, but they are safe.)

I often joke that I am related to half of Louisiana.  Katrina and Rita really did a number on my family down there.  Louisianans are generally prepared for one hurricane, but these two together and the massive damage they did was monumental.  I went down three weeks after Rita and it was amazing the damage that Mother Nature can wield.  (What is also amazing is how insurance companies can COMPLETELY avoid their responsibilities when it comes to their customers, but that’s a different topic all together.)  

One of the hats I wear for my job is Emergency Management Communications.  Like any other emergency service, preparation is one of the most important things we can stress.  The “rule of thumb” is that you should be prepared to be ON YOUR OWN for three days.   That is 3 DAYS AND NIGHTS WITHOUT OUTSIDE AID.

Think about it.

In case you haven’t noticed, we are in election season.  (BTW, if you haven’t registered for the April 5 election, there is still time!  Registration closes March 9.)  As I have lightly mentioned a few times in this blog, I work for a local municipality.   I love what I do, but I really don’t talk “shop” outside of work.

To be honest, I really don’t tell a lot of people what I do for a living.  Why you ask?  I like to avoid arguments where I can.

Whenever I overhear political conversations I often think to myself, “I wonder if they actually voted in the last election.  I wonder if they know who their elected officials are….”  Honestly, most of the time, the answer is NO.    The fact is that in the February 22 election, voter turnout in Kansas City was around 15%.   Pathetic.

So why do I bring this up?

I just got off the phone with my dad and for some reason he always brings up politics.  Argg…  I must say, at least my folks vote AND they actually know whom their elected officials are, (probably because I have mentioned how much I hate it when people don’t know their elected officials) but we don’t see eye to eye on policies.  

I’m not going to get into the specifics, but I learned a long time ago just to shut up and listen.  We are never going to “red rover” each other to the other side, so it’s just easier if I listen and get it over with.   

It only gets hairy when we do bar room politics, which I don’t recommend to anyone.  All that kind of discussion leads to is talking loudly and trumping what would have been a fun evening.

So, 45-minutes later, I know where my dad would cut the US budget.  I personally don’t know enough about the US budget to have an option where to cut.  Have you seen that document?  There are OVER 2,400 pages in the 4-volume set!  I can read through a government budget better than most citizens, but that’s pretty ridiculous for a recreational read.

Well, that’s about all the rant I will do on this blog for now.  If you really want to make a change, get engaged.  Contact your elected officials and let them know your thoughts.  I hope everyone gets registered to vote, does their homework on the candidates/proposals and rocks the vote on April 5!!

I know, I know. 

I should adjust our withholdings so that we don’t have a large return after doing our taxes each year.  We’re letting the government earn interest off our earnings for those months they have it.  We could use the extra money ourselves throughout the year.  Blah, Blah, Blah.

The truth is I LOVE seeing that check in February/March from Uncle Sam.  It’s like finding a present you already bought, but forgot where you hid for Christmas.

This is where my DH and I have differing opinions.

He has already drawn up plans where to spend it and I just want to look at it in our bank account.  Actually, if it were feasible, I would withdraw all of it and lay on the cash like a dragon.  A happy, happy dragon.

I do agree with some of his ideas, namely buying some living room furniture.  I should have taken a picture of our pathetic living room with our one couch and one infant rocking chair in it for you to see.  We have been in our new home for over a year and this room still looks like we just moved in. 

You know when you move into a bigger space and you still have your old smaller-scale furniture?  I’m terrible about this.  When I moved from my apartment into my first house, I had folding chairs as living room furniture for years.  My bedroom had moving boxes with sheets on them as end tables.  I am very indecisive about furniture and I have this weird quirk of hating to spend money/afraid I will buy something I will hate more than I hate spending money.

Then there is the issue of replacing the carpet in the bathrooms in our house.  NASTY.  I have written before how much I hate this.  Why (I know why, it’s cost effective for builders) do they do this??!?!?! Sooooo gross!!  I want to re do at LEAST the main floor bathroom this year and tear out that gross carpet.  (It’s not gross to look at since it’s clean-ish in appearance, but I know it’s gross under the surface.  Ugghghhghghg….)

As much as I want to do these investments, I am still a bit scared to spend the money.  I am terrified of the looming economy and afraid that one of us will be “right-sized” and I will have spent some of our precious, newly-infused dragon treasure.

Anyone else in this predicament?   Am I the only dragon out there?

As I have mentioned at exhaustion, my little man has been sick lately.  With that a new little man has immerged… “Mamma’s Boy.”  I think in the last two weeks I have heard “mommie” about five thousand times.  I have heard it in a weak, sad voice; a whiney, “I need more juice” voice; and an angry, “You are not responding fast enough!” voice.

Both HD and I agree.  I think we are creating a monster.

From the second he sees me; he’s glued to my side.  For the first couple of days it was touching.  That is until last week’s total meltdown when I went to the bathroom with the door closed.  Total meltdown in the first degree.

What I am not sure is if this recent uptick in “mommie need” is from him being sick, his nature or his age.  I’m hoping it’s just a phase…. But it seems to be getting worse.

I’m not really upset by his “mommie needs” but I do worry that this is going to get out of hand.  I went shopping this afternoon and DH said that Niko cried at the door for almost 15 minutes.

Side note – because little man and I have been spending so much time together, Niko has become quite the little chef.  After showing him how to crack an egg, it’s ALL he wants to do.  I can’t remember the last time I have eaten so many eggs.  Seriously.  We have baked almost every other day.  If you come over to our house right now, it looks like we are about to host a bake sale.

My friend told me that her daughter is the same way… and it was all cute… until she woke up one morning and found 8 eggs cracked on the floor.  So far, Niko is not strong enough to open the fridge door, but I know it’s just a matter of time….

Anyway – anyone else have a “Mamma’s Boy” out there?  I honestly think ALL boys are Momma’s Boys, but I just worry we are headed up the ladder of symptoms!

(PS, thanks to everyone who wrote me about Niko's possible Ashma diagnosis.  So far, so good with him!)

Can you repeat that again?  

“He is having an asthmatic reaction to an upper respiratory infection.  He also has another ear infection and a fever.”

Back up… what?  Asthmatic reaction?  What is that?

Long story short, Niko is pretty sick.  Again.  It has been a really long month of illness for Niko-chan.  We have been to the doctor three times with over 5 prescriptions in one month.  I know, I know: new school, new germs.  But seriously, when will it end?!?!??!

When I heard “Asthmatic Reaction,” I freaked out.  My brother had asthma as a kid, but it wasn’t bad enough for an inhaler.  I really have never pumped one in real life before… well, before now.

The doctor explained that she would not be able to tell us if this was a one-time event or if this will turn into juvenile asthma.  She told us we would just have to wait and see how he does in the spring.  I guess if he has problems in the spring, it’s asthma and hopefully he will grow out of it.

This kinda rocked my world; this is all new to me.  I picked up the inhaler and I asked the pharmacist how to use it.  How in the world does a two-year-old even use an inhaler?  The pharmacist was very kind and explained how to use the faceguard attachment and reassured me that everything was going to be OK.

I know that sounds weird, but by the time I got to the pharmacist it was all sinking in.  I was in shock when I heard he could have asthma, but it really didn’t hit me until I had the inhaler in my hands.

The first day, we had to use the inhaler three times.  The second day we only had to use it once.  The steroid he’s on is starting to make a difference.  He’s starting to get back into the swing of things.  (That is aside from the horrible diaper rash he gets anytime we give him certain medicines.)

I am still very concerned about this whole childhood asthma.  Any asthma mommas out there?  Am I freaking out over nothing these days?

It seems in the last two weeks, I have been at my wit’s edge with Niko-chan.  The extreme mommy-obsession/whine-fest/massive-meltdowns have made simple household activities excruciating.  

Niko-chan has always been high-energy, but it seems like the meltdowns have taken a turn for the worse in intensity and seemingly unfounded beginnings.  I am REALLY not a fan of crying for no reason.

My question is, will this get better?  

I was lunching with a friend of mine that has a high-energy daughter about 4 years older than Niko.  She told me that her daughter was really difficult between the ages of 2 ½ and 3 ½.  That is how old Niko is now.  She jokingly urged me to hold on, it will get better.

Really?  Are you just saying that?  

Isn’t that the lie they tell you about how easy kids are and that they don’t take that much money?  My favorite is, “The more kids you have, the easier it is!  They entertain each other.”  

Yea, right!  My friend who has 4 kids told me this last year…  I’m not buying that one.  

Do I just need to suck it up and shut up, this is the way it is – or just hold on, in a few months it will be a distant memory? 

I’m wondering if there are any others who have felt this way about their toddler?  Is this just his personality or (please God) is this just a phase that he’s going through?

As I wrote before, our house has been hit by multiple plagues over the last two weeks.  You name it, we had it.  Call it a welcoming present from the new “School.”

Flu
Pink Eye
Stomach Flu
Fever
Ear infections
Sore throat
Cold
Sinus infection
Headaches

The three of us have been under our own house arrest without any visitors.  I jokingly Facebooked that I was amazed our family could go through a full box of Sudafed without making Meth.  Niko has gone to the doctor’s office twice.  One week of amoxicillin and now Pink Eye drops. (Which is a barrel of fun to try to get into a two year-old’s eyes.)

On Thursday night, we honestly thought he was on the mend.  We put him into his bed and he started crying pretty loud.  At first I just though he was mad about going to bed, but he kept crying.  DH and I went upstairs to check on him and saw him sitting in a pile of puke.  Gross.

The real tragedy is that he threw up on his beloved “baby.”  Crap.  Anything but that.  Niko has had his teddy bear since he was 3 weeks old.  It’s everything to him.  He goes everywhere with it, it’s his “lovely.”

As you can see from the photo, it was a long, long two hours.  He tried and tried to open the door, to save his “baby” from the torture of the giant spinning machine.  Eventually, he sat down and cried himself to sleep on my lap as we watched the “baby” spin around in the washer.

I bought a replacement “baby” during another “baby” mishap, and it has been rejected.  The clean and nice version of the much-loved original sits in the corner of our living room.  Every now and again he will pick it up as if it’s an oddity to be there.  In a pinch it may work, but it would be a tough sell.

My relationship with the “baby” is polarized.  I love it because it’s his safety blanket when I can’t be there for him, and I hate it when it’s missing or incapacitated.  I’m not even sure how long toddlers are in the “lovely” stage… should I reserve a spot for the “lovely” at his high school graduation?

We have officially started (big air quotes) “School.”  I use the air quotes because I am unsure how you can bill anything for a 2-year-old as school.  We found a small non-denominational school in the northland for Niko to attend.

I attended private school my whole life for both the Christian message and the fact that we lived in a TERRIBLE school district.  (By terrible, I mean they had metal detectors when I was in High School… in 1990.  If you ever see ANY Chicago street gang documentary, they will mention East Aurora High.)

This school used to go all the way up to High School graduation, but due to the economic downturn, they now only go to the first grade.   For now, it totally works for us.

Niko is starting to get used to going to school.  DH had a hard time dropping him off the first week, lots of tears.  We had prepared for it… well, I had.  DH drops Niko off in the mornings and I get to be the hero who picks him up.  (Man, do I love this arrangement!)

Last week was Niko’s second week at school.  The first couple of days went well, Niko was starting to get used to the new place and the post-drop-off meltdowns were easing.

Then it happened.

Everyone told me that new daycare means new germs.

I picked up Niko up early on Wednesday and I saw the booger trail.  The I’m-going-to-wipe-my-nose-with-my-sleeve-all-the-way-to-my-ear trail. Gross.  Niko woke up from his nap really grump and with one eye kinda puffy.  Great.  It’s Snowmaggedon outside and we need to go to the doctor tomorrow.

I really didn’t think anything about him being sick. I made the doctor's appointment for the puffy eye more than anything - I thought he was getting pink eye.

Turns out he has a double ear infection, double eye infection and they tested him for pneumonia! He didn't have pneumonia, but I was shocked that the doctor was even concerned about it.

Seriously??!?!?  We had NO idea he was that sick.  He was grumpy and laying around, but he certainly didn’t act like that sick!  I sat in the doctor’s office and felt like “Mom of the Year.”  How could I not have known he was that sick?  

Niko has never been that sick before (I realize we are VERY lucky) so it caught me off guard.  It’s been a LONG, LONG weekend of tears, whine and boogers, but now that we are on day 4 of amoxicillin Niko is perking up.  Thank goodness for modern pharmaceuticals.  What a difference!

I’m sure that this is the first of many illnesses Niko will be bringing home from school.  What’s the nastiest thing that your kids picked up from daycare/school?

I have mentioned it a few times on this blog (and my last name totally gives it away); my husband is Japanese and our son is biracial.  We have been together for eight years and aside from one incident, our relationship has been totally accepted by the general society.  I honestly don’t think of my husband by his race, he’s just DH to me. 

Without the courageous efforts of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and many others like him, our family would not exist.  It would have been hard for my husband and I to meet much less date and then marry.  Our children would have been outcasts, not accepted by society.

In 1865, Missouri had this law: “All marriages between...white persons and negroes or white persons and Mongolians...are prohibited and declared absolutely void...No person having one-eighth part or more of negro blood shall be permitted to marry any white person, nor shall any white person be permitted to marry any negro or person having one-eighth part or more of negro blood” (African American History, Jim Crow Laws).

In 1958, Mildred Jeter (an African American woman) and Richard Loving (a Caucasian man) were married in the District of Columbia. When the Lovings married, interracial marriage was legal in Washington, DC. The Lovings went back to their residence in Virginia after they married. The Circuit Court of Caroline County charged the Lovings for violating Virginia’s ban on interracial marriage.

The judge stated, "Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”

The judge sentenced the Lovings to one year in jail, but the sentence was discharged after the Lovings agreed not to live in Virginia for 25 years. After hearing the Lovings case, on June 12, 1967, the Supreme Court ruled that laws against interracial marriage were unconstitutional in the United States.  

Missouri didn't repeal its ban on interracial marriage until 1969, two years after the U.S. Supreme Court outlawed states from having interracial marriage laws.

Since then, it's estimated that more than 4 million interracial couples have married in the United States.  

Oprah’s website produced a pretty cool slide show about Martin Luther King’s Legacy in 2008.  Follow this link if you are interested in seeing it.  The slideshow is only 20 slides long and it gives a quick recap of King’s life and shows people whose lives have been influenced by his message.

Thank you Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for your “Dream!”

Once upon a time, there was a really fat Kim.  She was jolly and fun, but way to fat for her own good.  Fat Kim existed long before she was a Nakahodo, back when she still had a Welsh last name.

Years ago, I lost over 65 pounds.  It took me two years and a lot of work, but I did it.  I have managed to keep most of it off for seven years.  Until now.

My weight has slowly been creeping up the last two years.  I must say that it has been very hard getting “workout” time in with Niko, my career and my DH’s career in the way.  Factor in a house move, a job move, the constant fear of one of us losing our jobs plus the fact that I am a stress eater and you have the perfect “fatty-cake” storm.

I have gained back 20+ pounds of my long-gone fat Kim persona, but she is making a come back.  I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday and I am afraid of stepping on that scale… it’s not going to be pretty.

But there is hope.  It’s time to get back on the wagon again.  It’s resolution season again isn’t it?

My job has a “Biggest Loser” program and I hope that at the end of the 16-week program I will be 20 pounds lighter.  It’s really not that crazy of a goal, a little over a pound a week.

The dieting is going to be the easy part, the exercise is not.  

My day starts at 5:45 a.m. and by the time I pick up Niko-chan I don’t get home until 6:30-7 p.m.  I would love to say that dinner is waiting for me when I get home… but no.  DH doesn’t get home until 8 p.m. so it’s up to me.  By the time we put Niko down, it’s 9 p.m. or so and I’m exhausted.

So when in the world am I going to squeeze in a workout?  I’m looking at moving my wakeup time to 5 a.m. or trying to wiggle in some walking during my lunch hour.

I lost my first 65 pounds on the Body For Life program by Bill Phillips.   I am looking to keep the same routine of getting up early and working out, and my favorite part – eating six times a day!  (Smaller meals of course.)

I am TOTALLY open to ideas!  How have you done it!  Ideas?!?!??!

I am currently down in Florida on vacation and I keep hearing this tiny voice in the back of my head.  

“Come to us… you can find cheap discount tickets and hotels online.”  

Yes.  So it begins.  About a week or so before a trip with Niko I start feeling it…

Stress.

Anxiety.

Fear.

Angst.  

We leave Friday to visit my parents in Florida for the New Year.  I am really looking forward to this trip, but not the flight.

DH and I have differing schools of thoughts on if the flights should be non-stop or split up so Niko has “rest time” between flights.  So, I booked one of each.  We have a stop over in Charlotte on the way there and a direct flight back to KC.  I guess we will find out what works best for us soon enough!

Ugh.  4 hours in a plane with a 2-year-old.  YIKES!!!  The boy can hardly stand sitting on the couch for longer than 3 minutes.  I can’t imagine this is going to be a fun plane trip.  At least he will have his own seat this time.  Last year, he bounced from lap to lap then pooped on my leg.  Yes.  It was gross, warm and smelly.  Everything you hope to avoid in a small, enclosed space.

This year, we are better prepared.  This year he will have his own seat and be wearing overnight diapers.  A year wiser….

But I am still a bit worried about his ears and his short attention span.  We will be packing the trusty DVD player and headphones but what I fear is 3.5 hours of, “OPEN” being screamed at the top of a 2-year-old’s lungs.  Then when I threaten a spanking, the undercover TSA agent jumps out and arrests me for child endangerment.  

I plan to seat him in the window seat and hope that will take care of the boredom for a while, but what else should I pack for him?

My travel pack includes:

DVD player, DVDs and headphones
Coloring books and crayons
Legos
Teddy Bear and blanket
Snacks
Outrageously priced juice after the TSA check point

Am I missing anything for a small toddler that works MAGIC?

Last week I attended the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) Emergency Management Institute in Emmitsburg, MD.   The facility is a training center dedicated to preparing responders for major emergencies or disaster situations.  The instructors jokingly refer to the facility as “Camp FEMA.”

I must say the training lived up to the hype.  It was amazing.   

My course took place in a fictitious city named Central City that just so happened to be made for disasters.  We’re talking about chemical manufacturing companies at the end of airport runways, serial killers on the loose, Category 4 hurricanes and a poorly maintained dam in the northern part of the City.  Everything that could go wrong does, in real time, over 4 days.  

The time away from my family was hard, but the training made the trip worthwhile.  The instruction was excellent and I learned a lot during the course of the class.   

But, I learned more from a man named Miles.

Miles is a Deputy Fire Chief for a fire company in a suburb of Boston.  Miles remembers 9/11 well for many reasons.  10 years ago, Miles was a Battalion Chief and one of the areas he was over was the Urban Search and Rescue Team.  As soon as he saw the first tower go down, he didn’t wait for the call.  He called his wife and told her he didn’t know when he would be back and left for the fire station.

Miles spent the next 14 days in what could only be known as Hell on Earth.  He had the grisly job of going through the wreckage, looking for survivors.  His unit was ordered back to Boston by FEMA as the operation moved from rescue to evidence recovery.

Miles said he thought he was leaving the worst of 9/11 behind him, but he was wrong.  When he got home, he had realized what the tragedy had done to his family.  

He had left without saying goodbye to his kids.

When he was at Ground Zero, there was no way for him to communicate that he was safe or for his kids to get a hold of him.  His kids (like most Americans) watched the towers come down thousands of times in the following weeks.  They watched having not being able to say goodbye to their dad, they watched not knowing if he was safe or if there was going to be another attack.

His youngest son was a straight-A student before 9/11 and almost flunked out of school in the following months.  His marriage was stressed and his other kids were full of anger and resentment.

Miles shared this story so that we would not follow in his footsteps.  

He admits that he should have stopped by the school his kids were attending to say goodbye in person.  He should have gone to his wife’s office before he left town.  It would have only taken an hour more to do this, and he thinks now it would have made a big difference for his family.

Of all the things I learned at “Camp FEMA,” this was the most important thing - family is first.

I love my husband.  Love, love, love him.  The longer I know him, the more I love him.  

But, the man cannot cook.  Like, not at all. As in, I am fearful of my kitchen/house going up in flames when he tries.  

Oh, Kim… you are over exaggerating.

Uh, no.  Our kitchen has seen DH flames before.  He has gotten better over the years, but it’s still not something he tries often.

He usually cooks for me twice a year, once for my birthday and once for our anniversary.  He cooks me the same thing, pancakes.  One of my favorite foods ever.  He’s gotten pretty good at it, when he uses the shaker-style pancake mix.  I don’t care though – they are full of love….

So why do I bring this up?  

By the time you read this, I will be in Emmitsburg, MD attending the FEMA Emergency Management Institute.   It has taken me almost 2 years to get into this training because of the timing of the prerequisites classes and my job change.  From what I am told by people who have attended the training, it’s amazing.   The training is designed to prepare someone in my role for a major emergency or disaster situation.

Needless to say, I’m stoked.  

Except that I will be away from my family for a whole week.  This is the first time I have been away from them since we became a family.

Guilt.

I have been putting in quite a few hours at both jobs recently so I have been the absent-t mom, and now I will really be absent.  Then you throw in the whole ‘husband can’t cook’ thing and I am full of anxiety about leaving.

I went to the grocery store over the weekend and fill my grocery cart with items I usually NEVER buy.  Frozen chicken nuggets, chicken patties, tatter tots and potpies.  These are food items that I know that DH can “cook.”  Thank goodness he doesn’t have to have his cholesterol checked after this week.  Eeekkkk….

Hopefully I will have a house to come back to!  :)

This is what my daycare provider wrote on her Facebook page last Monday.  

Backgrounder:  Her husband is in the construction field and has had a rough time finding full-time work.  She took on a seasonal retail job to help out, but it wasn’t filling the gap.  She had mentioned that they were both going to look for work and whoever found the first job, won.  The loser stayed home with the kids.

I have multiple issues and complications that have resulted from reading this Facebook update.  

First issue is that I found out about it via Facebook.  I totally understand that she was excited about her new job, but perhaps she could have called/texted/emailed me first.

Then there is the issue of starting her new job the very next day.  I know that her husband was going to watch our son, but I didn’t sign my contract with him, I signed it with her.  Again, I understand that desperate times call for desperate measures, but….

The first week of the new arrangement was going all right, but the second week Niko refused to go to daycare.  Like freak-out, panic, crying and screaming not wanting to go.  I don’t think there was anything malicious going on, but it was clear that he did not like the new arrangement.  He missed his babysitter, the one that had been with him since he was 3-months old.  Without her at the house, he didn’t want to go back.

So, now we are scrambling.  We need to find a daycare facility PRONTO.  This is harder than it sounds.  It took me over 2 months, and 8 interviews to find the daycare provider I am about to leave!

The challenge is that I have 1 week to find a place with openings for a 2-year old, one I can afford and a place that doesn’t terrify me.  The silver-lining here is that Niko is old enough to go to a “preschool” now without night-terrors of him laying a crib alone, crying for human contact.  So the hunt begins.

I will not name names here, but my options where I live are pretty slim. We’re northlanders, but not EXTREME northies.

Do I go to the SUPER expensive daycare center that will make Niko college-ready by age 4?  Might I add that this place cost more per month than my first house payment; for ONE child.  Of course I’m impressed, I should be for that price!!

I really can’t go with the “red-roof” version of daycare.  It’s not in me to do it.  I am still terrified of that kid factory.

There is another company that has a few locations around town…. none of which are convenient for us.  They are all in the opposite direction of our house.

Have I ever mentioned that I HATE drama and that’s what I’m caught in right now.  Daycare Drama.  Man do I wish we were like Europe…. they start their school program from birth.  There is no &#*% “donut hole" of 5 years for you to have to find a place for your child to attend until he/she can attend the school your crazy-high taxes pay for.  (Can you tell I’m a bit ticked about this situation?!??!)

The hubby is going to check out places this week on his vacation.  Thank goodness for small miracles that he had this week off. 

Any suggestions???

You betcha.  

You read that title right… by the time you read this; I will be sitting at work and SO happy to be here.  

Really.

Last week I was “off work” for three days, one for a mandatory furlough day and the other two for the Thanksgiving Day holiday, of which I worked 3 days at my second retail job.

I also had my parents in town, cooked the Thanksgiving Day meal, and then went into work for Black Friday that night/early morning.  Yesterday, I put up the Christmas tree, hung the lights outside of my house and washed 8 loads of laundry.

I think that Niko-chan has a molar coming in, but I’m too scared to stick my finger in that tooth-filled meat-grinder.  He bit me the last time I tried and I’m a bit gun shy about trying it again.  He has been a terror the past few days.

Needless to say – I’m exhausted, but I am SOOO excited to get back to work.

Thanksgiving reminds us what to be thankful for.  I am thankful for my family, my home and right now, more than ever, my jobs.  

Yes, both of them.

I am fortunate to have two jobs when so many can’t even find one.   I know I often write about my misadventures in my jobs, but I do appreciate them, especially now.

I have a SUPER busy schedule this week due to the furlough and vacation last week and I’m sure I will be pretty stressed out, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

I have written here many times about my other life… my retail life.  I have worked a second retail job for over 10 years now.  I have tried to quit a few times, but because I have no spine and find it impossible to quit jobs, I am still there.

I stay for many reasons; I work with really great people, the employee discount and I work in the video game section, how cool is that?  I also stay in retail because it makes me better at my other job, the career one.  I know it sounds crazy, but working in retail shows me what works and what doesn’t work in communications, marketing, product design and customer service in a real-time setting.  I get paid to watch someone else’s plan work or not work, then take the parts that work back to my other job without having to experience the failures myself.

I was “outted” at my new job this weekend.  I ran into not just one, but two co-workers while I was in the “red” this weekend.  Doh.  I hadn’t told anyone at my new job about my moonlighting gig.  I wouldn’t say that I was embarrassed about it, but it does seem weird to people.  I make good money at my first job so why do I keep the second?  Back up to the beginning of the blog for your answers.

I must say that working retail means I watch humanity regress to a caveman-like status every Christmas season.  It starts at the beginning of November, spikes the day after Thanksgiving and peaks again the week of Christmas.

You name it, I have seen it.  Drunk, dead-beat dads on Christmas Eve shopping for their kids, people stealing everything that’s not nailed down, two soccer moms fist fighting over the last off-brand MP3 on sale that day, dads running down the isles of the store for the last few Furbys in stock.

I have been called every name in the book and some how people think that being nasty to me will make me want to help them more.  I love it when people think they are better than you because you happen to have a nametag on at the moment.  I shrug off most of their comments; I mean you really think you’re a better person because you waited outside for 3 hours in the freezing cold for something we had on sale in the color you really wanted last week?  :)

I think one of my favorite Christmas seasons was the Nintendo Wii season.   We were out, had been for a while.  Our Nintendo rep told us that we were not going to get any more in before Christmas and we were weeks away from that.  I can’t tell you how many people yelled at us and how many comments we “overheard (because they screamed it as they left our section)” that we were hiding them in the back and wanted to ruin their kid's Christmas.  Sorry people… no conspiracy theory here.  It’s a simple case of supply and demand and you happened to be on the losing end of that deal.

So, I ask if you do go out into that goodnight/early morning, please be kind to the people who are trying to help you wearing a nametag.  We are overworked and away from our family so that you can save $10 on an MP3 player made by a manufacturer you have never heard of before.

I know it sounds awful, but I hate school/boy & girl scouts/sports fundraiser season.

“Would you like to buy some candy bars/popcorn/cookie dough/trashbags/magazines/soup mix for my kid’s _____________ ?”

Oh man… I really wish I had been at lunch when you came around with that sign up sheet.  I HATE this.  It’s one thing when I have to buy this EXPENSIVE, useless garbage for my own nieces & nephews, but when I’m corned at home or at the office… arggg… 

I really don’t need any more sweets/popcorn/trashbags/magazines/terrible pre-packaged food items in my life.  When my sister calls for this yearly fleecing, I tell her just donate that food or for her to eat it.  I don’t want it in my house.  I’m fat enough without guilt school/boy & girl scouts/sports fundraiser purchases.

What I really hate is that I can’t just make a cash donation to the school/boy & girl scouts/sports organization in that kid’s name and be done with it because it doesn’t count toward whatever lame prize they are offering the kids for selling their wares. 

The only people that really make money on these deals are the companies that run these fundraisers.   That’s probably what ticks me off so much about them.

Case in point…  Take a look at that TINY bag of caramel popcorn bad up top.  One of my neighbors’ kids came to my door selling popcorn for Boy Scouts.  He asked if I could help his troop by buying some popcorn or sponsoring a scout for $25.  Ouch!!!! 

I looked through the catalog and saw that the cheapest thing was the bag of caramel corn so that’s what I bought.  I bought it weeks ago, and it finally showed up on Wednesday.

I must say I was pretty disappointed.  Wow, really?  I had expected it to be small, but not smaller-than-a-small-chip-bag, small.

Am I alone here?  Who else hates these things?

I honestly thought Niko was too young to go trick or treating this year.  I bought the costume, but no trick or treat bags or flashlights..  Niko just turned 2 so I didn’t see the point – he’s too young for trick or treating.

I was way off.

I planned on taking Niko to some friend’s houses to have him “trick or treat” at their place since they live in neighborhoods that don’t have many kids.  I tried to get Niko into his costume before we left for the afternoon and it was total meltdown.  

Scream.

Cry.

Total freak out.

“This is why we are not going trick or treating,” I told my husband.  

We went to our friend’s house and got home a bit later than I had hoped and our neighborhood was PACKED with kids!  This was our first Halloween at the new house, so I didn’t know what to expect.

After the first 15 minutes of waves and waves of costume-clad kids getting candy at our house, Niko was all about it.  He was trying to open the front door to join them.  I told him that he had to put his costume on to go and he started to tear his clothes off so he could join them.  

Wow.  Total change from a just few hours ago. The power of candy!

I didn’t have a bag for him so we used his Easter basket and headed out the door.  I must say, I was pretty impressed with Niko!  He dragged me behind him as we went from door to door.  He was a man on a mission.  

Candy.  

“More candy,” he chanted.

Tonight I realized that I underestimate what a 2-year-old is capable of (with proper motivation of course!)  I constantly tell myself that Niko is too young or can’t understand a particular task.  I guess it’s my greenness of being a new mom, but I wonder if I am limiting his growth by underestimating his potential.  I’m sure this will be the first of many times I question this… but tonight really stood out for me.

Tomorrow is a new day to see what he’s capable of!

A while ago, I meet someone through work that was around my age and about to start a family.  I must say, I was excited.  I don’t find too many people my age whose family is as young as mine.  I’m usually the old lady at baby events.

I was excited because we worked in the same type of organization and shared many of the same types of projects.  Once again, this is a rarity.  Someone I can talk about work and baby stuff – specifically the challenges of trying to do both. Yes!

Most of the people in our field have older families and can’t comprehend why you don’t make it to after-hour events.  Yea… I doubt they want a baby at the business after-hours mixer. I often hear that I can bring my kids to the event; there will be other kids there.  Yes, there will be, but they are 9+ and aren’t going to try to destroy the place.

I love my life.  I would have liked to have had kids earlier, but it wasn’t meant to be.  Life doesn’t always follow the timeline you think it will.  My family is young and my career is middle-aged.  I’m good with that.

Finally!  Another woman who knows what it’s like!  

Maybe.  

Nope.

Turns out she will be moving to another state very soon for her husband’s work.

Heartbroken.

We will be able to keep in touch via the web, but I will miss her for sure.  I sound like a broken record here, but I do wish I knew more people with small kids.  By small I mean under 3 years old and eyeing more.  Several of my friends would qualify, but they live out-of-town.

I know things will get better when my son goes to school and has a structured friend system, but right now I’m caught in limbo.  I think I will look for some spring programs to enroll him into in so I can start to meet more families like ours!

Any other suggestions?

Our grand adventure has begun…. Potty training time.

It’s actually not really our idea as much as it’s Niko’s.  I bought Niko’s potty-chair and step stool quite a while ago.  It’s been sitting in the bathroom for the past few months and every now and again we would sit in it, but nothing really happened.  He would ask to sit on the potty, but it was more of a game than anything.

Then… something magical happened.  POTTY!!!

Niko went pee-pee in the potty for the first time last week.  I was so excited, I screamed with joy right in his face.  Oops.

I texted the news to everyone I knew about how Niko peed in the potty.  I Facebooked and blogged about it – Niko’s pee-pee event went social.  

I must say, I felt a large sense of pride.  After the first success, I sat on the bathroom counter for hours asking him to, “push out the potty!”  While I was saying this, Niko was flushing the toilet, playing with the light switch and whining for more toilet paper.  My hopes for a re-pee-t were slowing diminishing.

Then… a week later, he did it again!

SUCCESS!

I must say, after the second time I made a mental note that we need REALLY need to tile the downstairs bathroom.  Gross.  (Why would anyone carpet a bathroom anyway?  Seriously.   I know it’s cheaper for builders… but still, nasty.  But, this is a subject for another blog.)

Another week of sitting on the counter, asking for him to, “push out the potty!”  Another week of light on, light off, light on, light off.  Flush, flush, flush.  

Tonight… magic happened again.  This time it was POOP!!! You heard me!  I never thought I would be so happy to watch someone poop in front of me…

Niko has been prompting all of these attempts by asking to go to the potty.  Sooo…. when do I start the big boy underwear? How do I do this?

I know that some people say not to rush into it, but I have always been a “strike while the iron is hot” kinda girl.  Any advice from someone who has no idea what they are doing with the potty?

This weekend I caved… I couldn’t take it any more.  I believe it was the 176th time I heard, “Monshthers, mommie!  Monshthers!”

For two weeks solid I have watched Monsters, Inc. around the clock on our living room TV.  I really wanted to watch football on Sunday…. actually, I wanted to watch anything that WASN’T Monsters, Inc.

So, I took the crappy no-name TV/DVD combo player out of my craft room and put it in the living room.   Yes, I now have two TVs in my living room, one for Niko and one for us.  

Pathetic.

Spoiled.

American?

It was the only thing I could think of to keep my sanity.  It was getting to the point that DH and I were thinking of excused to not be in the living room anymore.  We just couldn’t take watching the same thing over and over and over again.

Is Niko spoiled?  You betcha.

As ashamed as I am that I have two TVs in my living room because I can’t say no to a two year-old, at least the whole family is in the same room at the same time again.  

Operation picture-in-picture has been a success.

I must admit, I LOVE TV.  I DVR, Netflix, Hulu and good ole’ fashioned cable TV from the second I get home until I fall asleep.  I know it’s terrible and I am rotting my brain, but I love having it on in the background when I cook or work around the house.  I rarely sit and watch TV without doing something else, but it has to be on if I am home.

Niko seems to be the same way.  He watches TV when it's on, but he's playing, coloring, reading his books or hanging out with us more than anything.  He enjoys it being on while he's in the room as background entertainment.  This is probably a bad habit, but it keeps the peace so it's a battle I'm not going to fight.

This weekend was physically and emotionally draining.  I worked The Wall That Heals – Blue Springs event all four days it was in Pink Hill Park.

For those who don’t know, The Wall That Heals is a half-scale traveling replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. The traveling exhibition allows veterans, families, friends and students in their home community to honor the 58,000 men and women whose names are inscribed on the Wall.

Before this weekend, my own understanding of the Vietnam War came from the half-page “note” in my history book, my father’s comments about being in the lotto, but luckily not deployed and Hollywood movies like “Born on the Fourth of July” and “Good Morning Vietnam.”

Most movies and history books focus on the fact that it was a very controversial war.  The war was not popular and returning GIs were not welcome back with ticker-tape parades.  Many had seen things that were too horrific to talk about to their families or friends.

I have always heard the soldier’s side of what happened, but this weekend I heard a South Vietnamese woman’s side.  Her story broke my heart.

Duyen Pham-Madden worked in the volunteer check-in trailer during The Wall That Heals – Blue Springs event.  Several people told me that I had to hear her story – it was amazing.  After the fourth person told me about her, I decided to check it out for myself.  I had been trying to document the event with photos and notes for the past two days.  

I sat down in the trailer and asked if she would share only what she wanted to tell me about her journey to the Untied States.

The first thing she tells me is that “America is Heaven.”  She tells me how fortunate she is to live here and how she thanks every veteran she meets for her freedom.

Her family left Vietnam when she was 12. Duyen's family escaped on April 30, the day Saigon fell to the North Vietnamese Army. What she remembers most of Vietnam was that she would have power for 1-2 hours a day and at night the house rocked from the constant bombing.

She left Saigon on the last boat in the harbor – it was only there because it was broken down and the crew were frantically trying to repair it.  It was repaired just in time and they fled before the North Vietnamese Army could board it.  Her parents thought the ship would go out to sea for a few days and come back as they had done many times before. The ship never went back to Saigon.  They left Vietnam with only the clothes on their back.

Duyen’s family were transferred to Guam where they waited for a family to sponsor them into the Untied States.  The DeWyze family in Arlington Heights, Il sponsored her family and they went to live with them.

Time passes and Duyen goes to live with a family friend in Blue Springs, Missouri to attend high school.  Duyen tells me that she is married to the man I passed on my way into the trailer, Trenton.  She graduated with him from Blue Springs High School and that I should talk to him.  She said that she had forgotten some of the details of her journey here, but he would remember.  I could tell that she just couldn’t talk about it any more, but wanted her story told.  

Before I leave she tells me again how much she loves America and is grateful to live here and live the American dream.  She says that she wouldn’t change anything in her life, because it was how she was able to stand there, in the volunteer trailer and talk to the Veterans that freed her family.

I head down the gravel path to Trenton who is in charge of parking motorcycles for the day.  I told him that his wife said I should talk to him.  He already knows why I’m there, Duyen texted him that I was on my way.

“She still wakes up in her sleep,” Trenton said.  “She is so strong – it still amazes me, her story needs to be told, but she can’t tell all of it – it’s still too hard.”

Trenton tells me about the actual trip here to America for his wife.  The boat that left the harbor transferred their passengers to a US Navy ship while at sea.  The only thing they had were wooden boards for them to cross on.  Duyen remembers a woman holding her baby as she crossed; the woman stumbled and dropped her baby into the sea below.  Duyen was only 12 when she saw this and it has haunted her since.

One of the passengers aboard her ship had been caught trying to escape Vietnam and they beheaded his daughters in front of him as punishment.  The ship was full of horror stories like these.

I honestly had to force myself to stay and listen to more of Duyen’s story told to me by her husband.  I could hardly listen anymore; I was amazed that Duyen’s spirit wasn’t crushed from the cruelty she had seen in her youth.

Duyen’s parents thought the rest of their family was killed when the North invaded Saigon.  Years later they found out their family had survived, but were imprisoned in a “reeducation camp” for over five years.  Her parents visited Vietnam a few years ago, but she has not returned to Vietnam.

I asked Duyen to join Trenton outside for a quick photo, I wanted a picture of them together for my notes.  Duyen told me again that she would go through everything again so that she could be here in America and have the family she has now.  She tells me that she is thankful for everything here in America because she remembers what it was like to have nothing.

After leaving the volunteer area, I felt very ungrateful for all that I have.  I felt every bit the American stereotype that you see in foreign films.  Hearing stories like Duyen’s makes me realize that my problems are very trivial and petty.  In the big picture, we live in a wonderful country and should be grateful to all the veterans who gave their lives for our freedoms.  

Thank you veterans for my freedom.

We had surprise visitors from St. Louis this weekend.  They decided last minute to get in the car and drive to KC for the Plaza Art Fair.  I have always admired people who are spontaneous with their travel plans… it’s so not my style.  I don’t have it in me to visit another city without having reservations somewhere first.

We went to college with these friends so it was really great to see them again.  Saturday night we went to Hamburger Mary’s in the CrossRoads then headed home.  They went out for a bit longer and then joined us at our house for the night.

We put Niko down for the night before our friends got to our house because I knew that we would never get him down after they arrived.  We were in the basement giving our friends the dime tour of our house when I turned around and who do I see…. Niko-chan!

Sooooo…. Looks like the rules have changed on us again.  I knew it was coming – I have caught him trying to climb out before.  

He finally got out of the bed on his own.  I’m not even sure how he did it – I always imagined hearing a loud thump one night.

I am in uncharted territory here.  Niko’s bed converts into a half-bed, but I am worried that he will not stay in the bed at night.  On the flip side, I’m afraid that Niko will get hurt climbing out of the bed.

So… I’m looking for some help here!  He just turned two so I am grateful for the fact that this day hasn’t come sooner.   Do I convert the bed to the half-bed version or just move him to the full-sized bed and cut out the middleman?

Help!

September is National Emergency Preparedness Month.  This national program is designed to encourage Americans to take simple steps to prepare for emergencies in their own homes, business and communities.

As part of my new job, I have been immersed into the Emergency Management world and the first thing I realized is how ill prepared our family was for a disaster.  I was sitting in a FEMA class and they kept saying, “You need to be able to support your family for up to 3 days in an emergency, without water, power, communications or transportation.”

Oh…  

I was still not too worried…. I have plenty of canned food, but not enough water.  No problem, I will just buy some water and I’m done.

Then the instructor stressed that you should have all of your emergency supplies where you would actually be in an emergency event like a tornado.  She said to imagine there was a news report that a tornado was headed your way, what would you do?

Ok, I would go to the basement.

Then she said imagine your house was leveled and all you had in your possession was what you had in your place of shelter.

Well, there goes my food… I have no water and all we have is the clothes on our back and hopefully we were wearing shoes.  I have no way to communicate if I didn’t bring my cell phone and I don’t have many phone numbers committed to memory.

Wow.  NOT prepared.

I am in the process of building my emergency “bunker” right now.  I hope to have it completed by the end of September.  I have cleared out a space for the shelving to go and I have 3-5 days worth of water in the basement now.  I have been building my supply of canned foods over the last month to get to the 3-day per person supply.

I have been gathering old clothes and a pair of tennis shoes that we never wear so I can pack a duffle bag to keep in our “bunker” for emergencies.  I still need to get the first aid kit, entertainment items and supplies for our cats for the basement.  I am also writing down all my emergency contact’s addresses and phone numbers incase I can’t access my computer.

I have been buying camping lanterns over the last few months when I see them on clearance.  My husband keeps razzing me about my emergency planning.  He thinks I’m crazy for having crank lanterns everywhere.  I was the one laughing when we lost power on Saturday night!  “Sure was nice having a lantern ready to go when you needed it, huh?”  I yelled that to him as I cranked my camping lantern.

What’s your emergency plan?  Do you have one?

I’m probably going to be killed over this blog, but I feel the need to write it.  A close friend of mine has been miserably dating for the last five years because she wants to be a mom.

She is going to make a wonderful mom, she is caring, loving and competent.  It’s frustrating because she is a successful career woman who has dated some real duds.  (Like most people I know.)  Match.com, Eharmony, bars, corporate and volunteer events – you name it she’s tried it.  

After years of looking for a man to help her start her family, she has reached a point that she is done putting her family on pause just because she hasn’t found Mr. Right.  

I think she should have moved on years ago.

She looked into adopting and was told that it was going to be very difficult for her to qualify because she is a single female.  They said that if she wanted to adopt within the US, she would probably qualify for a special needs child, but it would take 2-4 years to do.  She could adopt from overseas, but it is very expensive and would take close to 2 years to arrange.

This is the part I just can’t understand.  I know several people who grew up in the state system.  I can’t understand how growing up in foster care/state facilities is better than being raised by a single mom. (Or by a loving gay family if you really want to get into the weeds.)

So on to plan B.  

In spring she is going to look into becoming a single mom the natural way (well, with the help of a sperm bank.)  There are only a few facilities in the Midwest that will even consider this option for single moms.

I can’t understand life sometimes…. I see people who should NOT be parents all the time in the news and I know so many wonderful would-be parents.   I guess this is where the life isn’t fair part kicks in, but what a crappy answer to a complex question.

On Friday, I took Niko to the doctor for his two-year check up.  When I checked in and the receptionist handed me a piece of paper and asked me to sign it.  I told her that I would read it over and give it back to her.  She looked at me for a second then said that was alright.  I guess she wasn’t used to people reading over her form first.

The form was pretty text heavy, but pretty much said that as of July 1, the office would charge a $25 fee for late or missed appointments.  After four “violations” you would be dismissed from the practice.

I’m sure this is becoming common practice, but talk about a customer service turn-off.  I read the rest of the form and signed at the bottom, it’s not like I really have a choice.

After reading all of the magazines in the waiting room and prying Niko off the walls, our name is finally called to go into the exam room.  Our appointment was for 10:30 a.m. and it’s now 11:15 a.m.

I get Niko into the exam room and he’s climbing all over the place.  The nurse comes in and takes all her information then we wait for another 30 minutes for the doctor to come in.  

We have been at the doctor’s office for almost an hour and a half and we are just now seeing the doctor. (Time check, 11:55 a.m.)  I understand that she is very busy, but I guess that form I signed earlier is just making rubbing me the wrong way by now.

If I had shown up for the REAL time I would have seen the doctor, I would have been charged $25 on top of my co-pay.  What kind of garbage is that?  

By the time we get out of the doctor’s office two hours had passed.

As I pull out of the driveway I wondered if I should draft a similar form to the one I had to sign that morning.  My time is just as valuable as the doctor’s time.  I make it a point to be on time for all of my appointments so when the other party (doctor) can’t make our agreed appointment time then don’t I deserve a $25 credit on my account?

Anyone else rubbed the wrong way by these kind of forms and late appointment times?

My little man turns two this week.  Wow… time really does move as fast as they say it does.  I remember when the pregnancy strip showed two pink lines and our adventure began.

I have written before about my leeriness to give Niko the MMR shot.  I know it sound silly, but it still does worry me.  I know there have been no official finding between MMR and Autism (the old findings were thrown out), but just the whisper of it frightens me.

I told myself that I would give Niko the MMR shot when he turned two.  That day is here now and I hope everything goes well this Friday.   I am amazed how many vaccinations children get in the US before the age of three.  It’s mind-blowing, really.  I don’t even know how many he will get on his doctor’s visit but I would guess no fewer that three and no more than five.

I just hope that we don’t wind up in the emergency room again… the chicken pox made Niko break out in a nasty case of hives.  After a week of steroids he was fine, but paying an emergency room co-pay did not make me a very happy camper.

There are many perks to having a two-year-old verses an infant when it comes to modern pharmaceuticals.   We will be able to give him children’s medicine instead of infant’s medicine… ahhhh… and it’s cheaper to boot.

The BIGGEST perk of all is that his childcare bill will go down by $160 a month!  It’s like we won the lotto!!!!  Now we just need to get working on potty-training the little man.  It would be great to save money on diapers too…

Any tips on potty training?  I will probably be blogging about that adventure in the near future, but I would love to hear how exactly you go about doing that little trick….

 This week is the first of two mandatory furlough weeks for my husband.  He will be taking the second week later on this year.  I have one furlough day this year and one next year that I have to take.

So what does furlough days and weeks mean for us?

It means furlough week months are TIGHT budget months.  No going out to eat, no extra activities and hoping to God that there are no emergencies.  We have a reserve fund, but I really hope that we don’t have to touch it.

It also means that I will be keeping my second job for a while longer.  I had hoped to say goodbye to it this year, but now I’m a bit timid.  So far there is no real sign that things are picking up at either of our jobs so I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more furlough weeks/days in our future.

I recognize that things could be worse; we could be wishing we only had a few weeks without pay.  Several of our friends have been laid off in the last few years so I should really stop complaining.

The bright side of the furloughs is that my husband will be playing Mr. Mom this week.  We were lucky in the fact that our babysitter took her vacation this week as well.  My husband is looking forward to spending some one-on-one time with our son.

We can’t be the only furlough fun family on this blog…  how are you spending your furloughs and still balancing the budget?

This week we will be driving to Chicago to visit my parents.  It’s going to be an 8+ hour trip and possibly more due to flooding in Iowa.  FEMA has been deployed to Des Moines to help out with the disaster.

Last year the trip went better than I though, but a whole year has passed and Niko is now an active toddler.  Ekkkk… Worry.

Niko is not my first baby… I had two others before him.  My first two babies are cats.  

Yes…. I am one of those people that call their pets their “babies” because they had no children of their own.

I adopted Tangent (my grey cat) over 16 years ago from Wayside Waifs.  It was love at first sight.  She has helped me through bad boyfriends, robberies, heartbreak, job interviews and lonely holidays.

She has been through my wedding, Niko’s birth and 5 apartment/house moves with me.  Tangent has been my rock and my constant companion.  She has always been the one thing I could count on.

I am having a hard time with her aging.  I knew this day would come, but I didn’t think it would be so soon.  (I know – it’s been 16 years!!  I am lucky – stop complaining!)

In the last 3 weeks, Tangent has started peeing everywhere…  I took her to the doctor and nothing is physically wrong with her.  She is very thin, but she has no cancer or disorder that would cause her peeing in corners.  The vet put her on a high-calorie diet and said that the peeing is probably caused from her becoming senile.

Oh dear.  Senile.

This…. situation has been very challenging.  Her peeing everywhere has been a tough thing to justify to myself.  How long do I let this go on?  How much pee do I have to clean or how many rooms are going to be ruined by cat pee smell?

It’s tough because for the first time, I have a really nice house.  Then there is the Niko factor.  I REALLY don’t like the thought of him playing in a room that may or may not have cat pee in it.  

It’s also causing some stress in the house.  Mentioning something negative about my sacred Tangent is the fastest way to make me grumpy.  When my husband tells me about Tangent peeing on the carpet, I get defensive and upset.  It’s going to get worse before it gets better….

For the time being, I have moved the litter boxes that were in the basement into the kitchen hoping that will help.  Maybe if the boxes are in the open, she will use them instead of peeing in the corner.

The real problem is that she is getting older and my time with her is becoming visibly limited… and right now it smells like pee.  Ugh.

Any suggestions on either the pee or how to deal with an aging pet?

On any given day, I am dragged around my house by my toddler at least 10 times.  Niko will come up to me and grab my hand/shirt/pants and lead me to where he needs help.  I can usually guess what it is before we get there – the kitchen is our number one destination.

It’s pretty funny how soon they figure out how to get what they want.  Niko is like a bottomless stomach most of the time so I am lead to the kitchen.  When he takes me to the fridge I either hear, “Milk or Fruit,” if we go to the oven it’s “Food or Hottie.”  (Hottie means hot food in our house.) 

I have a horrible habit… when things get intense or too stressful, I laugh…. Loudly.  I have always done this – horror movies, funerals, strategic planning sessions and now, when I try to discipline Niko.

I can’t help it!  Those faces are just TOO funny!

It started when he was about 11-months old.  It was the first time he gave me the fat bottom lip in response to a scolding.  I almost fell over I was laughing so hard!

Almost a year later, Niko has 5 standard responses to discipline:

Fat bottom lip.  Still my favorite – a classic.

Shoulder Shrug.  He hunches over and walks away slowly.  He just started to do this – but it’s pretty funny when he does it.  The first time he did it I laughed in his face…. Oops.

Lying on the floor with his head down.  At first, I thought he had dropped something, and then I realized he was crying on the ground.  It reminds me of my dog, Suzie.  She used to do the same thing when I would scold her.

Crying uncontrollably.  I really don’t like this one…

Throwing a fit.  This is the one I am having trouble with.

I guess I didn’t realize how much I point when I scold him.  I quickly realized how much I do it… when Niko did it back to me.  At first I was offended… then I started laughing.  It’s pretty funny watching a stern looking, soon-to-be two year old perform his best impersonation of you.  Seeing that brow furrowed and his stubby finger pointed at me… I can’t help it!!  Hahahahhah!

But I digress; this is something I can’t allow to keep going… no matter how funny I think it is.  It would be one thing if he just did an impersonation, but he has been throwing picking things up and throwing them after his stage show.

Looks like I need to brush up on my poker face and get a bit more serious…. That’s going to take some practice.

Ideas???

I have a horrible habit… when things get intense or too stressful, I laugh…. Loudly.  I have always done this at horror movies, funerals, strategic planning sessions and now, when I try to discipline Niko.

I can’t help it!  Those faces are just TOO funny!

It started when he was about 11-months old.  It was the first time he gave me the fat bottom lip in response to a scolding.  I almost fell over I was laughing so hard!

Almost a year later, Niko has 5 standard responses to discipline:

Fat bottom lip.  Still my favorite – a classic.

Shoulder Shrug.  He hunches over and walks away slowly.  He just started to do this – but it’s pretty funny when he does it.  The first time he did it I laughed in his face…. Oops.

Lying on the floor with his head down.  At first, I thought he had dropped something, and then I realized he was crying on the ground.  It reminds me of my dog, Suzie.  She used to do the same thing when I would scold her.

Crying uncontrollably.  I really don’t like this one…

Throwing a fit.  This is the one I am having trouble with.

I guess I didn’t realize how much I point when I scold him.  I quickly realized how much I do it… when Niko did it back to me.  At first I was offended… then I started laughing.  It’s pretty funny watching a stern looking, soon-to-be two year old perform his best impersonation of you.  Seeing that brow furrowed and his stubby finger pointed at me… I can’t help it!!  Hahahahhah!

But I digress; this is something I can’t allow to keep going… no matter how funny I think it is.  It would be one thing if he just did an impersonation, but he usually goes right back to doing whatever he was doing before… but this time he’s looking at me with a smug face.

Looks like I need to brush up on my poker face and get a bit more serious…. That’s going to take some practice.

Ideas???

No, I do it.  I do it!  I DO IT!!!!

I think I have heard that phrase about 1,000 times in the last week.  Ahhh…. independence.  Well, sort of.

The challenge is that his fine motor skills have not caught up to his desires yet.  This brings about the screaming tantrums that can come out of these attempts.  It can be a bit challenging when I try to encourage his attempts, but I can really only take so much whining.

Right now, I want to throw the stacking cups out the window.  It’s my fault, really.  I would stack them then lift the stack and move it to another part of the room.  Sooo… now Niko thinks he can do it too.  He stacks the cups up and then tries to move them… crash!  Whine!  Cry… frustration.

We have just entered the big boy cup phase.  I only put about half an inch of water in the cup at a time, but we are getting there.  It’s both exciting and frustrating to be going through this phase.  I am excited that the sippy cup days might finally be coming to an end, but frustrated when Niko screams for milk in the big boy cup.  Arggg..

Living through this stage is kinda like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde… I never know who I am going to get in the morning.  Am I going to get the calm, enthusiastic Niko… or the angry, frustrated Niko?

Any advice on how to get through this part?

We are t-minus 2 months from my son’s second birthday and have no idea what we are going to do yet.  Last year we had a big bbq at our house and I spent the week before and the week after cleaning… I would really rather not do that again.

I’ll be honest… I don’t have a lot of experience with kid birthday parties.  Before having children of my own I dreaded and avoided kid birthday parties.  I gave great presents, but I always had to work on the weekends… such a shame.

As I have mentioned before, my son doesn’t have a lot of friends his age.  This can cause a problem when trying to plan a birthday party…  I don’t really have many kids to invite to his party.  This will be a party for a toddler, but most of the guests will be adults.

So… what do we do?  I’m really needing some suggestions here….  I have no idea what I am doing with kid birthday parties.  Are there some really cool toddler/adult places in the metro that aren’t crazy expensive?

I had thought about renting a shelter and doing a bbq at a park or going to one of those “toddler” places…  I am even considering having it at McD’s!!!

Help!!!   :)

For the first time in a long time, I am excited about my career again.  I feel rejuvenated, reinvested and ready to kick it into overdrive.  

My new job requires more community involvement than my previous position.  This is leading to some scheduling complications for us.  My husband’s job requires him to work late most nights so any evening activities my job requires means one of two things – either I have to find a sitter or take Niko with me.

Here is where my two worlds collide and not in a good way.  The career woman in me is frustrated that I live in a man’s world and feel limited by my young mommy status.  The mommy in me is frustrated by the fact I let my job get in the way of my family at all.

Two worlds and only one of me.

I often feel like two different people trying to live the same life.  A career woman who wants to be at the top of her game then a mom that hates being away from her son all day.

When I work all day I feel guilty for the time away from my son, when I put my son down I feel like I am slacking at my job for having to leave at 5 p.m.

I really see no answer to my dilemma.  The only thing I can do is stay the course and try to bridge the gap.  I’m hoping my hard work continues to pay off and I’m praying that I’m not making a huge mistake.

Any other career mommies or daddies out there wit the same worries/concerns?

Nothing frustrates a Disney movie fan as much as the Disney Vault.  

What is the Disney Vault you say?  The Vault isn’t actually a vault as much of a process.  Disney places a film “in the vault” for up to ten years. Once the ten year moratorium has passed, the film is then re-released to the public.

What this means for fans of the films and anxious parents hoping to introduce their children to the classics is that they must scramble to find copies of the vaulted films from secondary sellers such as Ebay sellers.

The seven titles that recently went into the Vault are the Jungle Book, the Jungle Book 2, 101 Dalmatians, 101 Dalmatians II, 101 Dalmatians (the live-action version), and 102 Dalmatians on DVD. The most noteworthy release going back into the Vault, however, is top-seller Sleeping Beauty on both DVD and Blu-ray.

So, what’s a parent or fan to do if they want to purchase films that are in the vault, such as Aladdin or Bambi? You are going to have to head to the dreaded eBay.

Of course, a valid question that many consumers ask is, “Why place a moratorium on the films at all?” The answer is a simple one, marketing. And the more frustrating thing… it works.

Re-release a beloved Disney film on DVD/Blu-ray to a hungry crowd. Make sure the masses understand that this is a limited time offer and the film will be placed back “in the vault.” Consumers scramble to get their copy and sales increase because, after all, they’ve seen what happened when they put off getting that copy of Peter Pan. Then, the film is taken away and ten years from now will be re-released to hungry crowd once again.

So when is the Digital Copy going to make this sham of a process end?  When does DVRs, ripping DVD copies and Virtual copies make this hostage situation end???!?!  

Hopefully soon.

For now I am forced to play their game.  Does this anger anyone else?!??!  So frustrating….

Yes, I totally stole this list.  It's the BEST way to describe life in my house right now.  I laughed and laughed then wondered if someone had installed cameras in my house and wrote about it.

Here are the Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party:

We have entered our first obsession.  Toy Story.

Niko is obsessed.  I’m talking total infatuation. I knew it would eventually happen, but not this soon.  

I knew we were in trouble when Niko had a COMPLETE meltdown at the grocery store when Niko saw a loaf of bread with Buzz Lightyear on it and we didn’t buy it.  Crying real tears over Buzz and Woody hotdog buns.  Ugh.  I now look down grocery store isles not for items to buy, but items with Toy Story to avoid.

I was trying to avoid buying any Toy Story toys until Niko’s birthday in September.  I am stronger against the whine/sad eyes than my husband.  I’m the bad cop in our relationship.

I got a text from DH on Wednesday saying that we had to buy Niko a Woody doll and we had to do it that night.  When I talked to him about it, DH told me a sad, sad tale.

I guess Niko had a pretty big meltdown that morning over Toy Story.  Niko found a picture in a magazine of Buzz and Woody and tore it out then proceeded to stare at it and hug it all morning on the way to daycare.  He was staring at the picture with, “sad eyes.”  It broke DH’s heart and we went to Toys R Us that night.

This is what great marketing does.  Brilliant marketing by Disney.  I can’t go to the store with Niko because I don’t know if there will be a box of pasta with Woody on it around the corner… waiting for us.

I think we have watched Toy Story and Toy Story 2 about 700,000 times in the last two weeks.  Oh well.  I guess it’s better than being forced to watch Twilight that many times….

Any one else going to see the new Toy Story 3 this weekend?  I think we are going to try our first movie in the movie theater this weekend.  Wish us luck!

I love a great party.  I take pride in planning over-the-top bashes.  I’m talking about themed, multiple hour bashes with accessories, costumes and DJs.

My last big bash was before we started trying for Niko.  I wanted to have a big party before I had to be a good girl – that was over three years ago.

Sooo….  we decided to throw ourselves a house warming kegger this past weekend.  Only this time we were now parents.  We are at that time in our life that most of our friends have kids as well so it’s time to regroup and rethink the house party.

I have been to many parties with Niko and I spend most of the night following him around making sure he’s not tearing anything up.  The homeowners assure me that they kid-proofed their house, but that’s not really the same as damage-proofing the house.

I wanted to make sure that my guests wouldn’t have to do the same thing.  I wanted them to be able to have a good time and not worry what their kids are up to while they enjoy an evening with friends.

I also wanted to have a good time… so I hired babysitters for my own party.  TWO sitters to be exact.  

I created three kid zones for the different age groups and stocked up the rooms with snacks, movies, video games, toys and sitters. I told guest to drop off their kids with the sitters and join me on the deck for drinks.

I must say… it worked PERFECTLY.  Worth every penny.  

I had friends come from out-of-state because they knew there were babysitters at the party.  It know it sounds terrible, but it was like getting a free dinner, drinks and babysitter all in one!

We only have these mega bashes every couple of years, but I plan on hiring THREE sitters next time!  I'm anticipating more kids....

Have you guys ever done this?  Or am I just a terrible parent who wants to relive her college days?

One of my best friends was dumped by her boyfriend on Wednesday.  They had been dating for a little over half a year and it was starting to feel like a permanent relationship.  

They seemed like a great match.  Except their view on kids….  the deal breaker.

She was dating Peter Pan and didn’t know it.  I have been there, done that.  I dated Peter Pan for seven years before ending it.  I met my soon-to-be husband just after breaking it off with my version of Peter Pan.  I don’t know why it took me so long to see that my Peter Pan never wanted to “play house with me” as he so kindly put it. (Yes, those exact words.)

My friend’s Peter Pan drew the line at kids.  He seemed to be OK with the thought of  living together since they had been doing so for the past several months, but the second she mentioned kids – he called it off.

I told my soon-to-be husband that I wanted to be married with kids in the next five years on our third date… with the help of some liquid courage.  I figured I had just wasted seven years and I wasn’t about to do it again.  If he was apprehensive about a family, I was out of there.  Probably a bit aggressive, but that was my mind frame at the time.

My friend has wanted to be a mom for as long as I have known her… I hope she finds her soon-to-be husband next.

Anyone else date Peter Pan and not know it???

My parents are coming to visit for Memorial Day Weekend.  I can’t wait to see them, but the weeks leading up to their visits are always stressful.  

In college, I was a total slob.  There.  I said it.  My parents often remind me about how they still have nightmares about my old college apartment.  I must admit… it was pretty trashed when they helped me move.  I hadn’t really cleaned/packed before they came to help me move… I had too much work (partying) to do!

Every since that visit, I have been trying to clear my name.  That visit was over 12 years ago and I am still trying to have my record wiped clean.

DH dreads how neurotic I get before a visit.  In the last month, we have stripped wallpaper, installed new light fixtures and repainted two bathrooms, cleaned out the garage, and cleaned and organized the basement.

I really want to clean the carpets before Friday… but I don’t know if I have it in me.  I’m pretty beat from all the work we have already done.  

I still have the Meth cleaning to do, that’s what DH calls it.  I break out the toothbrush and get scrubbing.  You can literally eat off the bathroom floor when I am done.  The whole process takes me a couple of days – this is what the rest of my week looks like.  Ugh.

Does anyone else get like this when their parents come to visit?  More importantly… does anyone want to help!

I’m a huge fan of Big Love on HBO.  I always wondered what the women got out of the deal. The show explains that the “point” for women is to curb their jealous nature, but what I think they really get is help around the house.

I mentioned this before, but a friend of mine is staying with us while her divorce is finalized.  She and her soon-to-be ex-husband have 4 beautiful children.  All 4 of these beautiful children were at my house for the weekend, bringing the house total up to 5 kids.

I have had several discussions with our roommate about the difficulties of raising a larger family.  The biggest challenge is keeping up with the house work while making sure no one is getting into trouble or killing each other.

Enter mom #2 (me).

We joked about this all weekend.  Mom #1 (roommate) and I (mom #2) worked as a twin star system to monitor the kids and get all the laundry/dishes/cooking/cleaning/shopping done.  

I must say, it made the job a LOT easier.  We could actually get chores done and get a shower in without worrying that we were going to come downstairs to find a mess/fight/disaster.

In a house of 5 kids aging from 20-months to 9 years old, it didn’t seem that bad really. My husband played video games with the older boys and mom #1 and I water colored with the younger three.  

I don’t think I could ever do the multiple wife marriage myself, but I could totally get used to a multiple mom home, even with more kids in the mix.

My baby is growing up so fast. 

I have been putting off Niko’s first haircut because so many people told me to.  They warned me that when you cut little boy’s hair, they stop looking like your baby and start looking like your toddler.

One of hardest parts of switching jobs is the gap in insurance coverage.  Between my two jobs, there were 31 days of no coverage.  I could have paid for the Cobra insurance to cover us for the month, but I decided not to.  I had 45-days to sign up for coverage that would be retroactive so I risked it.

I must say it was scary.  It was the first time in my adult life I didn’t have insurance for longer than a few days.

A friend of mine just found out she is going to have a little boy…. but what she really wanted was a little girl. She married into a family that is dominated by boys. She was hoping to bring the first girl into the family in over 12 years.

I remember feeling the same way when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was secretly hoping to have a girl… out of convenience. My sister gave me my niece’s clothes when I got married …. I was all set for a little girl.

We have entered the temper tantrum stage, complete with full meltdowns and throwing ourselves onto the floor.

I knew Niko would eventually get to this stage, but I didn’t think it would be so fast or so fierce.  I would say the last few weeks have been …. trying to say the least.  We have moved from one crisis to another it seems – anything can cause a meltdown.

Last Monday I started my new job.  I was so nervous about it that I totally forgot to write this blog!!  (Sorry again Katy!)

It’s been over 11 years since I was “the new girl” at work.  I must say… it’s not a feeling I enjoy.  I hate not knowing the structure of an organization or who people are and what they do.  

I sat in my new office wondering how long I could last without asking where the bathroom was… the answer was 5 hours.  That last hour was tough….

I’ve written before how hard it was to leave my previous job.  I loved my job, my coworkers and the company I worked for.  Leaving my coworkers with was very hard, it was like moving away for college.  I’ll go back and visit, but it will never be the same.

The week leading up to my first day was filled with worry, anxiety and stress.  I drove my husband crazy with questions like: “What if I don’t like it, what if they don’t like me, what if I can’t do this job?”

 “I’ve made a horrible mistake,” crossed my mind more than once. (To quote Gob from Arrested Development)

I am pleased to report that so far, so good.  I have survived my first week without too many screw ups.  I still have a lot to learn, but my new coworkers are nice and understanding.

My biggest challenge is getting used to a different mindset.  My new company is much smaller than my previous one… but I’m learning that there are many advantages to that.  It’s going to take me a while to get used to it, but so far, I LOVE it!

Hate to admit it… but my husband was right.  I was getting all worked up over nothing.  Thanks honey!

Any advice for someone starting with a new company? 

Easter weekend we are visiting my sister’s family in Clarksville, Tennessee.  I love my sister… but I hate the drive.

In the next few weeks, I will be starting a new job.  

To be honest, taking this new position was the hardest career decision of my life.  I LOVE my job, but my organization is just too unstable.  In the past two years there have been several RIFs (Reduction In Force) layoffs and more are scheduled in the next few months.  

DH and I woke up at 2:30 a.m. on Saturday morning to what sounded like a seal barking in Niko’s crib.  As soon as I heard that tell-tale cough, I knew what it was…. Croup.

I am obsessed with parenting magazines.  I have subscriptions to three different early childhood magazines.  I read an article about 3 months ago about home remedies for common illnesses.

I had never heard of Croup before reading the article, much less be able to identify or treat the illness.  Croup is an infection of the vocal chords and airway that is usually partnered with symptoms of a cold.  Niko had had a cold for the past few days… looks like what he really had was Croup.

I must say it’s as scary sounding as the article said.  When we got to his crib he was coughing, crying, gasping for air and frightened.

I bundled him up with a blanket and took him outside.  The article said that the cold air would help open up his airway and I’m happy to say that it worked.  After sitting on the front porch for about 10 minutes, Niko had calmed down and his coughing had stopped.

We gave him some warm apple juice, watched an episode of Imagination Movers, finally it was time to go back to bed.  (Seriously, how did we live before DVRs?)

We took Niko to the doctor’s office on Saturday morning for his Croup.  The doctor gave him a prescription for some nighttime medicine and told us to keep the humidifier on him all day.  The doctor also told us to run a steamy shower and have him sit in the bathroom for 10 minutes before we put him to bed.

Yea… he HATES that medicine.  HATES IT.  Do you know how hard it is to get an 18-month old to take 6 ML of medicine he hates?  As soon as he sees that syringe coming toward him he runs away saying, “No, no, no, no…”

Croup lasts 5-6 days… ugh.  Long week!

I can’t be the only magazine junkie on this site…. anyone else hooked on magazines?  Which ones are your favorites?  

I actually have subscriptions to about 10 different magazines.  I have ones for parenting, video games, cooking/home, general geekery and design/photography.