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Kady McMaster
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Conventional or Un?
I shocked my mother the other day. I wasn't even trying and got quite a reaction out of her, too. I didn’t even have to amp up the story, in it’s most basic form she got quite animated.
It was my birthday and I was recapping some of the gifts I had received.
“ And my friend Susan made me the most awesome apron! Really cheery fabric, full length, with a sweetheart neckline and a ruffle at the bottom..”
“ WHAT?!”
“ An apron. I wear them all the time. I’m really a sloppy cook, it saves me having to change my clothes”.
“ That just sounds so , well, no offense, so.. June Cleaver ..so.. " she was grasping for words "so‘Midwestern Housewife‘.”
By her tone, you woulda thought I had just greeted her at the door wearing nothing but the apron. But, you see, by my choosing not only to stay home but to live in the Midwest, I am a bit of a rebel. There are moments that I think Mom still doesn’t know what to make of me.In my minds eye my parents have always marched to their own drummer. 1962 and in their late 20’s, they married, hopped into a VW van and set out on a cross country honeymoon trip. When they returned to Connecticut, several weeks later, they had a very cool souvenir growing in Moms belly. My twin brother and I.
In her professional life, my Mom was a costume designer. She is one of the women that we reference when we talk about those who followed their passion to make a living regardless of what society expected of her. She juggled career and family before juggling was cool.
Both of my parents raised us to be whatever we wanted to be. The worst thing we could do was to not explore an interest or potential gift. They encouraged travel and creating our own path in life. They discouraged gender and religious bias. They modeled all this and now, in their mid 70’s, are retired and live on a boat. The moved onboard in China 5 years ago. Living " It's About The Journey, Not The Destination" on their floating home they slowly made their way back to the US East Coast last year.
Currently, they are in North Carolina, spending days listening to NPR, refurbishing the boat’s interior and being a part of a community of Liveaboards. It’s the life they choose and they want the same for us. The life we choose. Even if it is conventional. And faith based. And in the Midwest.
But, I suspect, the conventional aspects of my life often catch my Mom unaware. To her, the image of me cooking, cleaning and taking care of my family far away from the ocean, all the while wearing an apron is mind boggling. She will quickly cover her shock, probably reminding herself that it is my life to live even if it is not the image that she had for her baby daughter. She is very good at covering any surprise and not judging. I admire that.
This past week these free-thinking parents celebrated the 47th anniversary of the birth of those honeymoon souvenir babies. On that day, Mom got her shocking statement in to me, too, “ Are you and your brother planning to be together for your 50th? I want to be there. I think it would be so neat!”Yeah, Mom, we probably will.. But don’t be surprised if we do it our way. Maybe my brother will wear an apron.
Well, I think you're rocking that apron! Happy birthday, sahmiam, and congratulations on marching to the beat of your own drummer. Your parents did a great job. :DI'm with Proxy--lookin' good in that apron, girl. :-) And your parents sound like a neat couple, too!And lately I've been thinking a lot about the parents dreams for their kid(s) future as opposed to the kid's dream for him or herself (especially as oldest starts to look for colleges). I hope I can be as gracious as your parents (and my own) when the time comes. :-)It really is a beautiful apron, and you do look fantastic in it! But I don't get the whole cooking thing. To what are you referring? Does putting PopTarts in a toaster count? One of my hopes for the peeps is that I can put aside my own insecurities/inhibitions and really, truly encourage them to do whatever it is they want to do. I think doing so involves lots of deep breaths and faith that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.You are totally rocking that apron. Your mom, and you are an inspiration to us all. To live our dream no matter how large or how small. Its so strange to reflect on where we thought our own lives would lead, I never thought about what life my parents woulda had in mind.Stories about your parents fascinate me. I really dig people who travel with their own personal percussion section. And the apron is super-cute! (psst! Maggies, we should chat sometime about the whole sending-my-oldest-to-college thing. I don't know about you, but I'm finding the whole process very overwhelming!)OK, Maggie and JB, I'm way ahead of you. My oldest leaves for college in 7 months. I'm struggling with the fact that she wants to move to OKLAHOMA, but it isn't has difficult as I thought it would be. I think it has to do with who she is: a great girl with lots of common sense. :) Anyway, you 2 will survive. Now, back to the blog... sahm, you look awesome in your apron. I'm glad you had another birthday that wasn't sucky. :)How funny Susan! My grandmother came for a visit in November, and was shocked that I didn't have an apron or a tea set. Not surprisingly, they are the gifts I opened up for my birthday from her the next week :) Great blog!Way to go! I love aprons, and yours *rocks!* I kind of identify, regarding mothers. My mom is gone now, but she was always a little disappointed that I didn't pursue my "very promising career." She never wanted me to stay at home, care for children, learn to cook...But that is my passion. Has been for nearly 20 years now. Mom never understood that, but I think she accepted it. Which was fine. Kudos for a great entry.Great story! Loved it, though it reminds me of an apron I received for Christmas this year that makes me look like I'm a life-sized gingerbread man!You look great in your apron!! June Cleaver or not, I think that what is so awesome is that you followed your hear!Hey, there is nothing wrong with being a midwesterner OR wearing an apron! : ) Your mom sounds really cool, she sounds like someone I could totally relate to!awesome apron and you look great in it! your parents sound great - hope they can see this blog someday!haha.. I just clicked a link Becki put up and ended up here.. hahahaha.. cnn- they read them every week!I think it's no coincidence that you were a souvenir from a VW trip and your last name is "V"alphabet"W"eider. Great story!Very cute! But, I'm with seeingdouble...what's cooking mean? Anywho, yes, Johnson County is quite a bit different than where I grew up, and I've had to adapt for certain. My parents don't always understand it either, but, that's the way it goes, I guess. Great blog, I miss seeing you during the week though, I never make it online over the weekend.
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