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Girls can be so mean to each other. I know, because I live with three of them. And I spent the first eight years of my life sharing a room with two sisters.
Sure, boys can be mean, too. But for them it might involve a few harsh words, a little scuffle, some punches, and then it’s over. With girls it seems that the hurt feelings and the grudges linger a whole lot longer.
My kids have been in school less than a week and the playground drama is already in full swing.
Our second-grader came home the other day a bit preoccupied by an encounter with a girl in another class who approached her on the playground and asked if she could give my daughter some fashion tips. My girl’s a pretty good sport, so she agreed to play along. The other 7-year-old had my daughter stand up and turn around so she could assess her fashion sense.
My daughter clarified that she was wearing shorts and a t-shirt because she had gym class that day. “Oh, that explains it,” sniffed the other girl.
After offering a list of wardrobe and grooming suggestions, which included wearing skirts and dresses as often as possible, the Heidi Klum wannabe professed, “If you follow these tips, you have a really good chance of being the prettiest girl in your class. And I say ‘class’ because I already stand out in the whole school.”
Wow! Really?? What seven-year-old talks like that? Or, more important, where does a seven-year-old learn to talk like that?
My daughter seemed to take it all pretty well and said she laughed it off with another friend, but I can tell that it planted a seed of doubt in her. Since then she’s been a bit more discriminating about her own fashion choices. I just hope that it doesn’t influence her to become catty and critical of others.
We all encountered kids like this girl in school and we all know adults like her. They are a fact of life. My wife says she still remembers hurtful things that other girls said to her when she was in middle school – a time when we were all emotionally vulnerable. That’s why she chose to hang out with guys, instead. I don’t remember too many mean kids, or perhaps I’ve just blocked them out.
So, we do our best to instill in our daughters a sense of confidence and self-esteem and arm them with the tools to interact with all types of people the best way they can. They’ll survive it the same way we did and learn some important lessons along the way.
Do you still remember comments that other kids made to you many years ago?
Yes, I remember well. I was teased mercilessly when I in school because I had mottling on my teeth from some flouride issue in the water when I was younger. It was pretty horrible for me. I didn't have a lot of support at home, so when my kids have encountered teasing and bullying, I have made sure to support them, it makes all the difference in the world.I have often wondered how girls could be so mean, then I met their mothers. My daughter, who loves school, actually begged to stay home in junior high.Turned out she was harassed because she wouldn't let others copy her homework. I wish now I had let her stay home a day. I think it would have broken the cycle.I congratulate your daughter on taking this so well, and also her parents for raising her so well. Too bad the same can't be said for the "Heidi Klum wannabe." Keep those lines of communication open, because middle school drama is a nightmare :P Yes, I remember mean things said to me, but I also remember putting bullies in their place as often as possible, and that makes me smile.I remember all too well. And, the problem is that some of those mean girls just never grow up & take it with them to parent events at school. I was worried about my daughter at one school, but, thankfully, the girls there weren't as mean as their moms. And, there were some very mean moms. Life is too short for that behavior.
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